Asking ourselves “do I know why I want this?” with regard to our reasons for wanting to succeed at something is a powerful way of getting a clear picture of our own motives. It allows us to discover underlying desires and expand our awareness of purpose.
‘Why’ seems like such a simple question, after all, many two-year-old can ask it all day long. But when we carefully examine the ‘why’ behind our desires to succeed, we usually learn things about ourselves that what we were unaware of.
Knowing what we are looking for
Knowing why we want to accomplish something also helps us identify the feelings we expect to experience once we get there. If we know what success will feel like, then we know where we are going emotionally. Remember, success starts on the inside. And one of the best ways to get inside your own head on this is to look in the mirror and ask: Do you know why?
Let’s use a desire for financial success as an example. Almost without exception, people want to be financially successful. In our society, the terms successful and financially successful are basically synonymous. Countless millions live under the assumption that money equals freedom, happiness, and fulfillment. In other words money equals a great life.
Choosing our emotional anchors
So emotionally speaking, financial success represents every good feeling that people want to experience to a greater degree. On an emotional level, money equates to a happier, freer, more meaningful life. Is it any wonder that achieving financial success can seem like a hollow victory?
Is there anything wrong with having money? Not as long as we understand ahead of time, that money only solves financial problems. Money is a material resource, not a ticket to emotional fulfillment.
Asking ourselves why we want to achieve financial success provides an opportunity to identify unrealistic expectations. By eliminating inappropriate emotional anchors we will be able to get clear on what financial success actually represents, and what we can realistically expect it to feel like.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
While we should strive for having money, I agree that we need to remember that it is not the end result that we want, but merely the means to the ends and we must understand what it is that we are truly after.
Great post!
Hi Grady, that is exactly right and yet it is so easy to slip into a space where we emotionally expand our concept of money into areas where it doesn’t belong. This is one of those subjects where periodic reminders can help we maintain a balanced perspective.
How true you are to link money with an emotional state! (even though it is not only this). I enjoy making money. I used to think it was for the sake of it but I then figured out it was rather the emotional state linked to it which made me feel so gooood. I am working to have people around me to don’t associate “success” with “financial success”. Hard challenge but worth it.
Hi Henri, surrounding yourself with people whose thinking supports you desired state is always a good idea.
“Success” is a slippery word. I agree that Western society (and modern Eastern society) seem to equate success with financial wealth. I think there are many very good reasons to seek financial wealth. After all, it is very difficult to imagine living a stable, healthy existence in our money driven system without, well… money. Where the problems come is when people pursue wealth above all else. This is an imbalanced approach to life, that often causes health (physical and emotional), relationship and socialization problems. I agree that you should understand why you are pursuing wealth, but even before that it may be useful to understand your definition of success and align it with your values.
I agree 100% Chris. Knowing your own personal answer the the question What Is Success? is an excellent place to start. Thanks for pointing that out.