Comments on: Who Is Really In Control Around Here?

By: Is it Really a Bad Thing to be Judgmental?

Is it Really a Bad Thing to be Judgmental? — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:24:06 +0000

[...] Articles: How to Expect the Best How to Calm Your Inner Critic Where Does Disappointment Come From? Who Is Really In Control Around Here? Where’s Your Focus? Gas Station Wisdom From a Modern Day Sage . . Editors Note: The “90 Day: [...]

By: Zeynel

Zeynel — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 11:17:32 +0000

I try to stay away from such people but it doesn’t always work.
Zeynel´s last blog ..Can’t change a habit by persuasion

By: The Power of Intention – A Personal Quest

The Power of Intention – A Personal Quest — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:09:33 +0000

[...] Articles: Who Is Really In Control Around Here? Do You Have A Plan of Action? Clarity, Focus and Motivation Do You Procrastinate? Never Give Up [...]

By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:08:05 +0000

Hey Beat, thanks for joining the conversation.

By: Beat Schindler

Beat Schindler — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:00:30 +0000

Love your article. Admire your ability to provide a fresh and personal perspective of a familiar object.
Beat
Beat Schindler´s last blog ..Fact Versus Fiction (Success Secrets)

By: Celes | EmbraceLiving.Net

Celes | EmbraceLiving.Net — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:44:13 +0000

Great article again, Jon! As you rightly said, intimidation only occurs when we choose to give the power away to someone else. I find that the mirror theory works great in this aspect - reflect back onto ourselves as to why the intimidation occurs, and we will find a deficit or perception somewhere about ourselves. And if we work within ourselves on that, the intimidation disappears soon after. Celes | EmbraceLiving.Nets last blog post..Cultivate a Good Habit in 21 Days

By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:04:17 +0000

You are so right Robin. Many people cover their insecurity with a veil of aggression. They feel better about themselves if they can intimidate others. As you brought out, understanding this changes how we feel toward them. It removes their ability to intimidate and it allows us to feel empathy for the real problem, and perhaps even offer some help. Thanks you for sharing your insight.

By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:57:23 +0000

Some good points Dragos. The one about discovering things about ourself that make us uncomfortable is a real challenge for some. I figure we can’t fix it until we know it’s broke, so I welcome the awareness even if I don’t especially like what I learn.

By: Robin Easton

Robin Easton — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:39:38 +0000

Many years ago I learned that there way a type of person that intimidated me. I would lose all sense of self around them. I remember the first time I stood up to someone like this and they just crumbled in front of my eyes. I was stunned. What I learned from them (we talked about it) was that they we so afraid of people and life that they went through the world intimidating everyone in appearingly subtle ways, not over bullying, but through body language, tone and energy. Often people who do this don’t even know they do it. It’s been a defense that has worked very well since childhood to keep people at a distance. And people who do this can be, inside, very good people, just frightened.

Once I saw this I was able to recognize the pattern. The next time I encountered it I was able to be very brave, maintain myself and my confidence, and even reach beyond their defenses and into the real person trapped inside (in a loving way). Today people like this no longer intimidate me. I see through the defense and realize they are very scared. Oddly people that are overtly bullying never scared me.

With time I learned something else. I learned that I am a complete empath and feel other people’s feelings as if they were my own, even over distance. As I’ve grown older I now can discern the difference and separate their feelings from my own. Thank you Jonathan!

By: Dragos Roua

Dragos Roua — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 20:04:24 +0000

Jonathan,

this is so clear that I can almost hear you . You know, those feelings are ours when we experience something nice too, so why avoid them only because we’re experiencing something bad? Feelings are feelings, are ours. We have power over them, as you said it.

I did this exercise you’re talking about, the one with “I chose to…”, several years ago and I had results within days. It really works.

One thing that I would add is you’ll find out things about yourself that you don’t like if you chose to take responsibility for you feelings. Maybe you’ll find out you’re too shy (I’m not using the word coward, but this is what I’m pointing to) or too bold (as in aggressive). This is coming from within and you’re not having excuses now. You have to deal with it.

Thanks for sharing this, Jonathan, it was a refreshing reading

Dragos Rouas last blog post..The Spiral Path