Are you happy with your life the way it is? Overall, can you say you’re truly happy? If not, do you know why? Could it possibly be because you haven’t made the choice to be happy?
When we think of being successful, we imagine that happiness is an inevitable side effect. We may envision ourselves with the perfect job, the perfect mate, the perfect children, the perfect level of income, the perfect home, the perfect car, etc. And we believe that all of that stuff will make us happy.
Realistic expectations
However, that view is skewed. Material objects and other people cannot make us happy – only we can make ourselves happy. And it all begins with a choice to be happy.
Maybe you have a hard time believing that, especially if you are experiencing challenges or lack in your life right now. But think about this: why do rich people still experience unhappiness? Why do successful people still experience unhappiness? Because money and success do not automatically create happiness!
Neither do power, status, romance, or material objects. We simply believe they do because we are looking outside of ourselves for the solution to our problems.
Let go of the money = happiness link
Intellectually, we may know that money can’t buy happiness, but some part of us still believes that we’d feel better if we were rich. Yet when we really look at wealthy people, we must wonder if they are any happier than the average person.
Do wealthy people laugh more, experience more joy, or have greater fulfillment in their lives? Perhaps some do – but how much of it is a direct result of their wealth?
Wealth has it’s own challenges
Believe it or not, some people seem to grow less satisfied the wealthier they become! Perhaps they were under the misconception that money would solve all their problems and now they are finding out it doesn’t work that way.
Having a large amount of money can create a whole new set of challenges. I’m sure you’ve heard the horror stories about people who win the lottery or come into a large fortune through an inheritance or other means. Many of them experience a few years of heartache and struggle, and end up flat broke again. Money didn’t solve their problems – it only made them worse!
Choose happiness
Another reason why wealth can make us miserable is that it distracts us from what is truly important for a happy and fulfilling life. We find ourselves focusing more and more on material objects and end up feeling disconnected from our inner selves.
If you are feeling unhappy in your life right now and you’re thinking that money will solve your problems, it’s time for a reality check.
Don’t get me wrong. I like money as much as the next guy and having a material abundance can certainly make our lives easier. But money is not the key to happiness and lack of it is not a legitimate reason to feel unhappy. Being happy is a choice you can make right now and it doesn’t cost you a dime. You are the key to your own happiness and no amount of money will change that.
Have you noticed how fast materialistic based happiness fades?
Has the pursuit of wealth ever resulted in lasting happiness?
The lines are open!
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Greetings everyone, I am currently traveling and my time online will be extremely limited for the next few days. I have seen some awesome mountains over the last week or so and can’t wait to show them to you. I will reply to comments but there will probably be a bit of a delay. Hope you enjoy the article.
Great post my friend Jonathan,
So very true – happiness is certainly born within us and not outside of us!
I remember years ago when I lived on a very tight budget – happiness was still alive and well – it’s a choice I made a long time ago – living in gratitude and joy – of course, you will have your challenges and your not so good days but it’s our choice in how we handle these times.
In gratitude,
Nancy
Nancy Shields recently posted..The Forgiveness RX- It’s not what you think…
Hi Nancy, like you I try to always remember that it’s not what happens that really matters, but rather how we choose to respond to it. We can always adjust our focus to minimize the negative and amplify the positive. Some may say that’s not reality. I say we all have the ability to create our own perception of reality.
Hi Jonathan,
Enjoy your travels. Happiness is an ‘inside job’. External gratification is generally only fleeting. As you say, it comes down to our choices. My choice is to be happy, the flow on effects are ginormous.
Be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..40-60 your Age of Learning & Discovery part 2…the journey continues
Hey David, choice is such a powerful concept. The real question that each of us must ask ourselves is “Are my choices empowering or limiting?” You’ve certainly set the right example!
Wonderfully said Jonathan. I found out that I was really happy when I only had a quarter to my name and 3 little kids to feed. I knew I was the richest person in the world when I looked into there small faces. I couldn’t ask for more.
Happiness is a choice and you are right, money can not buy happiness. It can make life a little easier, but it is love that brings happiness.
Thanks again and blessing to you,
Debbie
Hi Debbie, it’s great that you were able to make that distinction during a time when money was so scarce. That is usually the time when people start using the lack of money for an excuse to feel sorry for themselves which is not a very happy state.
Jonathan I have learned that when I have a problem, I am most likely the one that created the problem, so it is up to me to find the solution for it. Maybe my thinking at that time was wrong and I was the one needing to fix it. When things happen we are supposed to learn from them, if we don’t they will keep happening until we do learn. When we feel sorry for ourselves the situation just gets more challenging. I have learned to be a fast learner, LOL
Debbie
Jonathan, after reflecting on happiness for quite a while, it seems to ring true that Brian Tracy’s writing about the Law of Indirect Effort seems to be true when it comes to happiness. If happiness is directly pursued, it’s like trying to catch smoke: not very likely. But when we work on meaningful goals, connect with close friends and family, give of ourselves to others, we find happiness indirectly. And also by the ways you wrote about
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted..Have You Used These Success Factors to Go From Victim to Victor
Hi Steve, the reason we can’t pursue happiness directly is because happiness is a byproduct of giving. Most people are convinced that it is a result of receiving and get frustrated when acquiring doesn’t result in the happiness they were expecting.
Hey Jonathan. I find that I am becoming happier as I get older and wiser (I hope). I try to focus on everything that I have in my life, and less on what I don’t have in my life. I find that I get an immediate sense of satisfaction when I realize all the good things that I have in my life.
Still, if I was going to be unhappy, I think I would prefer to be rich/unhappy than poor/unhappy.
Thanks for your post.
Andrew Johnson recently posted..Stop Shyness With These Simple Tips
Hey Andrew, sounds like things are moving in a good direction for you. That’s excellent. As to you very last statement my response and personal viewpoint is that, rich or poor, I would rather choose to be happy!
Great post!
I am not as experience in life as probably most of the bloggers here but I see this topic with a different perspective. I think that happiness is very subjective to the person…some people find that living modestly is happy and some find that living only in fame can bring them happiness.
At the end of the day though, for myself, I find that being able to do what I want, when I want really makes the difference in my happiness. Wealth in my opinion is not only about money. Wealth in life has many other components like freedom in time (like for traveling =D), health, relationships, etc. Although, as the saying goes, money can not buy happiness directly, it is essential for happiness. I think the key to everyone’s happiness is to determine what balance of this combination makes them happy. It’s a shame that the materialistic nature of our society blinds people into thinking that the only thing in the balance is money. That’s how I explain why so many rich people are miserable – they lack the rest of the balance. Spending all your energy and time making heaps of cash will most likely tip the balance of that happiness combination I was talking about.
R recently posted..What does wealth mean to you