What is Self-Esteem?

Today we begin our discussion about self-esteem.  I was surprised when I looked in the dictionary to find their definition.  I expected that the dictionary would provide a somewhat lengthy explanation, not so.

The only definition offered was self-respect.  Isn’t it interesting how the dictionary can go on and on about subjects that have little impact on people’s lives and yet give almost no attention to a truly important topic like this one.

Self-respect is indeed an important aspect of self-esteem.  But that brief definition makes it sound like something very simple, something that can be changed as easily as changing our shirt.  If that were true then lack of self-esteem would not have reached the epidemic proportions we see today.

The first thing we want to acknowledge is that self-esteem exists on several different levels.  Most notably, self-esteem exists on the conscious and subconscious level.  It’s hard to change something that exists on a level we’re not even aware of.

Another important consideration is that our level of self-esteem affects much more than just how we view ourselves.  It affects every area of our life including our view of the world around us, and of our own future prospects.  Self-esteem is not only a mirror through which we see ourselves but also a window through which we view our world.

Some therapists would try to convince you that before you can raise your level of self-esteem you need to go back and discover all the reasons why you feel the way you do.  I wholeheartedly disagree.

Self-esteem has more to do with the emotional anchors that we have linked to experiences in our life rather than the experiences themselves.  If we have unwanted emotional anchors that have contributed to a low self-esteem that’s where our attention should go.

Each of us has the ability to control the way we interpret any event in our life.  Rather than reliving those events, we can use positive emotional anchors to change the way we view them.  This is a very important skill that will serve us well in our personal growth and development.

Life is perception.  This is something we have control over.  As the week goes on we will touch on some effective ways to raise our self-esteem by changing our perception of the events in our life.  Stay tuned for more.