Use Questions to Change Your Mindset – Part 2

by Jonathan

Use Questions to Change Your Mindset – Part 2

As human beings we all have certain built in limitations. For example, we can only effectively focus on a very limited number of things at any given time. I see this as a great advantage because it means that when we focus on empowering thoughts it becomes literally impossible to focus on limiting thoughts at the same time.

Can you be truly happy and extremely sad at the same time? Can you feel intense love and intense anger simultaneously? See what I mean?

We cannot intensely focus our attention in two opposing directions simultaneously. This means that when we focus on something positive, really focus on it, our minds will delete or block out negative thoughts. That’s the nature of focus.

Questions can direct our focus and our feelings

Because questions have the ability to change our focus, we can automatically use them to change our feelings at the same time. When you ask yourself, “What do I feel really great about right now?” notice what happens next. Once your mind becomes occupied with answering that question there is no room for entertaining opposing thoughts. Your mind simply cannot search for reasons to feel great and reasons to feel lousy at the same time.

Some people are convinced that they can entertain opposing thoughts simultaneously, but trying to do that requires a huge mental and emotional compromise. To accomplish this kind of split focus we would have to apply a very limited degree of attention in two different directions. That’s not focus! Some synonyms for the verb focus are to concentrate, fixate and pinpoint our attention. Once we understand what focus is, we realize that it does not allow for divided attention.

Focus is not a one dimensional experience

Being truly focused involves more than just our mental acuity. It involves our emotions as well. This is especially true because the questions we are going to be asking ourselves are anchored in positive feelings and experiences. When we ask the right questions we are commanding our mind to give us answers that will support a positive mindset and move us toward affirmative action.

Emotions are the power plant of human motivation. We can use our minds to ask the questions that will harness that power, and focus it in the direction we want to go.

The right questions to help us accomplish this

When problems arise in life, as they will, what questions do we ask ourselves to motivate us toward possibility and solution?

1. How does this problem or challenge create a new opportunity? At first you may not see opportunity, so keep asking. This question is powerful because it is structured around the assumption that the problem has created an opportunity, now you just need to discover that opportunity. Your mind will recognize that assumption as fact and before long it will present you with a list of possible opportunities.

2. What action must I take to transform this situation? Notice the assumption built in to this question. There is a course of action that will transform this situation in a positive way. Now, all you need to do is to figure out what that action is and your mind will be eager to assist you.

3. What aspect of this challenge is exciting? Again the assumption, there is something here to get excited about. We just asked our mind to figure out what that is, and it will.

What all of these questions have in common?

They all have a built-in assumption that moves our focus in a positive direction. They all create a frame of mind that is empowering. And because we can focus in only one direction at a time, all of these questions prevent us from exploring the negative aspects of our situation, both mentally and emotionally.

Applying these three questions in challenging situations will require a conscious effort at first. It takes time to develop a pattern of asking empowering questions, especially when our resources are being stretched by ongoing problems. With practice however, we can condition ourselves to respond resourcefully by asking the right questions.

In part three of “Use Questions to Change Your Mindset” we will explore additional exercises that we can do every day to further encourage the use of empowering questions.

Can you see how potentially empowering this skill is?
Are you already using questions to direct your focus?
The lines are open!

This is the 2nd in a series of 3 articles showing how
you can Use Questions to Change Your Mindset
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 1
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 3

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Rocket Bunny

I am really enjoying this series, it has come at a perfect time for me. I can apply this in dealing with the current events in my life.
Thank you

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hi Bunny, this is one of my favorite subjects for that very reason. Asking the right questions is not only powerful, but it’s something we start doing immediately. So glad it’s proving useful for you!

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Galen Pearl

This is great and fits in very nicely with what I’m writing about this month regarding transforming our distressing feelings by asking questions to shift our underlying assumptions. Very helpful!
Galen Pearl recently posted..Owning Our FeelingsMy Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hi Galen, feelings and beliefs usually start as assumptions. The odd thing is that while assumptions can be reasoned with in the early stages, once they become beliefs it is much more difficult use reason on them. That’s where questions come in. With the right questions we can strip away the armor plating on our beliefs and make them susceptible to reason again.

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Galen Pearl

PS to Rocket Bunny–love your name!!
Galen Pearl recently posted..Owning Our FeelingsMy Profile

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David Stevens

Hi Jonathan,
Great follow on to pat1. Asking the ‘right’ questions of ourselves leads to better answers & positive Life outcomes. Looking forward to part 3.
I’m with Galen, love the name ‘rocketbunny’
Be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..21 Self Discovery Questions to enrich your mid life JourneyMy Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hi David, as I coach I know that you have a good grasp on the power of asking the right questions. It’s my hope that this series will help others to be able to add these skills to their life skills tool box. Understanding how our minds respond to questions and learning to tailor our questions to produce the desired result can have such a positive impact on our quality of life.

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David Stevens

Absolutely, thanks again for your post.
David Stevens recently posted..21 Self Discovery Questions to enrich your mid life JourneyMy Profile

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Riley Harrison

Hi Jonathan,
You posts are consistent with what Tony Robbins advocates. Asking empowering questions really helps one grow. Thanks so much for re-enforcing the practice of this valuable habit (Asking good questions)
Riley

Riley Harrison´s last amazing blog post …FIRST IMPRESSIONS

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hey Riley, I think we can all agree that Tony is a smart guy with lots of insight into human behavior. I remember when he published his first book: Personal Power. We were all a lot younger back then.

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Stuart

I’m looking forward to the final part of this series Jonathan, you’ve featured some very thoughts here.

In terms of affecting our mentality, I usually find that asking questions in a positive light usually produces ‘proper’ questions, such as the challenge questions you mentioned. However, asking questions in a negative light doesn’t really produce proper questions.

For example, despairing questions would be “How can I ever do this?”, “Why am I even bothering?”. Here, you aren’t really asking yourself questions, you’re admitting your anguish and hopelessness by phrasing it in questions.

The best questions are those in a positive light, which are actual questions and can be answered with actual answers. Despair will get us nowhere :-)
Stuart recently posted..Value 101- Part 2My Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

So right Stuart, that’s why it’s such an important life skill. Do it right and the results can completely change your life for the better. Do it wrong and, well, let’s just say it is worth doing right.

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Josue Cano

Probably the best series of self help articles I’ve read recently. I can see how this is going to help out my performance in my athletic challenges as well as my athletes. I can’t wait to apply it and looking forward to reading part 3.

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Greetings Josue and thanks. Works well for me in the weight room, especially when I am cycling up the weights and gaining momentum.

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Steve-Personal Success Factors

Jonathan, I love this new, fresh angle on how questions can direct our focus. And that our focus cannot be divided when we have our focus properly in place. I’m going to save these questions for future review, whenever challenging situations come up :)
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted..Discover These Smart Goal Setting SecretsMy Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Thanks Steve, in the next article I will get even more specific with a little daily routine for a positive mindset shift.

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