Are you ever mystified by the way men behave? In your own relationship experience, does your man’s behavior ever leave you feeling completely puzzled and perhaps more than a little frustrated?
If there have been times when you’ve concluded that he is just plain weird or irrational, well, you were probably right. Would you like to know what is actually behind his puzzling behavior?
It’s not a lack of love!
While men like to think that they are ruled by logic, there are definitely times when logic goes out the window and powerful unseen forces take over. And just because we are not aware of these underlying forces, or we choose to ignore them, that doesn’t change reality. The truth is, some of our behaviors, drives, responses, and desires are biologically driven and have nothing to do with logic.
These biological influences are one of the main reasons why a man can go from being considerate and thoughtful one moment, to acting callous and cold a few seconds later. It actually has a lot to do with the way he is programmed to react when certain emotional buttons get pushed.
What’s the solution?
Of course, just knowing that his behavior is biologically driven doesn’t help much when you get caught off-guard by his unexpected harsh words or cold attitude. And it doesn’t provide much comfort when you are left feeling like he has just “pulled the rug out from under you.”
Well, don’t worry because I am not going to suggest that his wiring is a legitimate excuse for unacceptable behavior or that you should just accept it. In fact, I want to show you how this troublesome programming actually creates a unique opportunity for you to start getting more of what you want from your relationship.
Get your relationship moving in a positive direction
The first step toward a more satisfying relationship is to understand some of the basic biological differences between men and women. Recognizing how these differences influence our most basic desires is vital if we are going to meet each other’s needs in our relationship.
For instance, women deeply value connection and family and that’s because, to a large degree, they tend to define themselves by their relationships. In general, women are programmed with a much greater capacity for nurturing and taking care of others.
On the other hand, men tend to define themselves more by what they do and by their abilities as a provider. While it is true that most men have a conscious desire to take care of their families, it is just as true that most of them are unaware of their own subconscious drive to succeed in their role as provider.
5 basic needs that all men have
While men and women have a variety of these subconscious drives, there are at least five basic needs that all men have deep within themselves. If any of these needs are not being met, it will cause problems in the relationship. Let’s take a look at those 5 needs.
1. Words of reassurance, affirmation, and praise
2. A strong sense that they are respected
3. The feeling that they are being listened to and heard
4. Affectionate physical touch both sexual and nonsexual
5. Intimacy and bonding (believe it or not!)
As a woman, all you have to do is consistently meet these 5 basic needs to completely transform your relationship right before your eyes.
How this transformation works
By meeting his most basic needs, you have now become a powerful source of increased positive feelings of personal value and self-worth. Suddenly, his whole life and your relationship feels much more satisfying and he doesn’t even know why.
The coolest thing about all this is the fact all these changes take place on a subconscious level. Without realizing what has happened, he will be driven to want to please you in any way he possibly can.
This means that the same unseen forces that once caused him to react in confusing and hurtful ways will now move him to make positive changes in his behavior. Profound changes like being more considerate and thoughtful, and more willing to do things for you, will happen automatically because all the right emotional buttons are now being pushed.
The best part about this approach is that it is completely ethical and empowering to everyone involved. On the deepest level, you are satisfying, not just his wants, but his most basic psychological needs. To him it feels like you are nourishing his very soul.
And what do you get for all your efforts? A man who adores you, shows true affection towards you, and puts you ahead of everything else in his life. In this scenario, everyone wins!
Does your man’s behavior ever leave you feeling puzzled?
Do you sometimes feel like he doesn’t hear you?
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