Giving is big business right now, so let’s look a little closer at the whole concept of giving. Once you back away from the commercial aspect, what comes to mind? Could it be that people are spending a fortune on gifting and still missing the point?
The wisest man who ever lived said: “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving.” Do you believe in this principle? If so, then perhaps you have wondered what kind of giving is the most valuable. What kind of giving really produces that deep sense of happiness that eclipses receiving?
Giving that has real value
The kind of giving that provides real value does not go on sale at the end of the year. In fact, it’s not even for sale. You can’t put a price tag on it, nor can it be mass produced. And it certainly doesn’t require gift wrapping. Not that I have a problem with gift giving, because I don’t. I just know that the concept of real giving cannot be commercialized.
Let’s consider a few avenues of giving that can bring a sense of joy and satisfaction beyond the retailers bottom line.
1) Honesty. When you give others the gift of being honest with them, you honor them while honoring yourself. The world is full of smoke and mirrors. Everyone is on the lookout for deception. What a precious gift honesty is in the midst of so much dishonesty. To be honest with others requires that you be honest with yourself. What an incredible and far reaching gift honesty is!
2) Respect. Everyone on the planet wants to be treated with respect. And what usually happens when you give someone the gift of respect? Most of the time, it is returned to you. Doesn’t it make you happy when someone treats you respectfully? So when you give others your respect it’s a great way to experience the true happiness of giving.
3) Openness. By this I mean allowing others access to the real you. It’s the opposite of guarded or reticent. When you give the gift of openness, you make yourself receptive to inquiries, suggestions, or ideas. It means being willing to relate to the other person in a way that goes beyond impersonal small talk. Openness can provide the basis for new opportunities and relationships.
4) Concern. Being self-centered is fast becoming the norm in many cultures. What outstanding gift could you give someone in a world full of people wondering “what’s in it for me”? How about acting interested in them as a person? Don’t you feel good when someone expresses a genuine concern for your welfare? It’s heartwarming, isn’t it? When you take a moment to listen to, and empathize with another person, you are providing them with a gift of great value.
5) Enthusiasm. There is a lot of apathy around these days. The stress of life seems to have stripped many of their passion and excitement. What gift could you give them to help combat their feelings of apathy and provide a jolt of positive energy? How about some genuine enthusiasm? Have you ever noticed how contagious enthusiasm is? If you demonstrate a little excitement toward someone else’s efforts, it can be very encouraging.
6) Assistance. Everybody needs a helping hand from time to time. This is a fantastic way to make good use of your experience, talents or assets. There will be times when others will ask for your help, but why wait? Why not offer to help when you sense that there might be a need. Let them know that you are both willing and available. Even if they never ask, the fact that you offered can be quite a meaningful gesture.
7) Time. This is a biggie because time is the most valuable thing any of us has. Now, I’m not suggesting that you give away vast amounts of your time indiscriminately. But there are those who deserve your time and it’s important that you make yourself available to them. At the top of this list is your family. Giving the gift of time to your mate and children is one of the best investments you will ever make. If you want to fully experience the happiness of giving, make this a priority.
What’s the common denominator?
What do all these different ways to give have in common? They all come from the heart. This is the true essence of giving. When you give from your heart, you put yourself in line to experience a deeply rewarding truth. There really is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.
Now it’s your turn…
How about the gift of commenting?
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{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
This is lovely… the photo, the message, the whole thing. And I completely agree with you. When it comes from the heart, every action becomes more beautiful.
Happy Holidays!!
Hi Lisis, thanks so much for your kind words. For some reason, the real meaning behind things often gets lost. Simple timely reminder can really help us to keep things in perspective. The photo was one I took at the coast. We were picking up heart shaped rocks, and this one got first prize.
Thanks, Jonathan, and Merry Christmas to you and yours. These gifts are the gifts that keep on giving throughout time eternal. Although it isn’t mentioned here specifically, the gift of listening in full attendance is one of my personal favorites. Like honesty, respect and concern, listening honors the other person. Then again, listening is a discipline not very many have although it seems to find favor by one and all.
*Hugs!*
Hi Mary Ann, and thanks for joining in. I absolutely agree with you. Listening in full attendance is very important. This is one I struggle with, especially if someone is using 10,000 words to say something that could have been said in 100. But listening is honoring, so I’m working on it.
You’re absolutely right, and I never quite thought of that before. An insanely large amount of people give to others on Christmas, but do so more in a “paying my dues” kind of way, rather than for the genuine purpose of giving–which really is missing the point.
Thanks for the eye-opener, Jonathan… happy holidays!
.-= Jonathan Beebe´s last blog ..Learn to Forgive =-.
Hi Jonathan, it’s hard to feel like you are giving from the heart when you also feel obligated or pressured to do so. One tends to cancel out the other. Many even take it a step farther by going into debt to “pay their dues” as you put it. Giving like that can actually backfire and turn into resentment.
Isn’t it amazing that the greatest gifts are right there in front and all around you, and are not to be found in a store. Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s so obvious that so many of us fail to see it?
Thanks for pointing it out to me…..I think others should know and so I’ve tweeted this post.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..Has Your Blog Content Been Stolen? =-.
Hey Sire, it’s almost one of those can’t see the forest for the trees things. But there are also other factors at work here. It seems like whenever something gets commercialized it loses it’s meaning almost automatically. Thanks for your comment and the tweet. Both are appreciated.
My greatest pleasure is to give. It touches me deeply if I can give to another person in a meaningful way. I hope that it touches them deeply as well as they explore that gift.
Is giving the essence of humanity?
John
.-= John – Zen-Moments´s last blog ..Satisfaction For Sale =-.
Hi John, I feel the very same way. Hopefully, we are giving in a meaningful way through our writing. Thanks for stopping by my friend.
These are amazing gifts, as you don’t have to be rich to give them. You don’t have to spend a dime to show your real self, your concern, or give assistance to someone who needs it. Giving a piece of yourself is the best gift that you can give anyone!
~ Kristi
.-= Kikolani´s last blog ..Twitter Direct Messages – Best (and Worst) Practices =-.
Hi Kristi, you know what they say, the best things in life are free. I must tell you Kristi, you are one of the people I was thinking of in #6) “Assistance.” I’ll never forget how you patiently helped me every step of the way when my site got compromised. That was above and beyond, and very appreciated.
It was absolutely my pleasure. Your site provides inspiration for so many people – I would hate to see it down for any reason. You’ve provided me and I’m sure all of your readers with all of the above in this blog and your newsletters. I know I certainly appreciate that very much!
~ Kristi
.-= Kikolani´s last blog ..Twitter Direct Messages – Best (and Worst) Practices =-.
Wow, I am blown away. What an incredibly kind thing to say. After a comment like that I am reminded that being on the receiving end feels pretty wonderful too. Thanks so much Kristi, you made my day.
Hey Jonathan. I really like this article. The gifts you mentioned were not really materialistic. That’s what most people expect a gift to be. But the gifts you mentioned, like you say, come from the heart. I think this is a lot more meaningful than something that is wrapped up and given to somebody. Thanks for this article.
Hey Hulbert, deep down I think most people prefer gifts that have personal meaning, it’s just that a materialistic approach is programmed in by the environment. It’s easy to forget what really matters.
JONathan,
I feel like she is so much a part of you and your writing 
This is a fantastic post !
Youre gift suggestions are just perfect….all from the heart and no material money required. How awesome!
I am personally more into giving coupons…you know the kind that says “good for 5 hugs” or “spending a whole day with you without any distractions” etc…
On occasions I usually slip those coupons into the gifts. Most often the gifts arent remembered…but the coupon and the gift that goes with it is always remembered and cherished by the receiver
Hearts have a special way of connecting…and they dont need material things for that
Happy Holidays to you and your family..and a special holiday Hug to your wife. I always love how you mention her in the posts
.-= Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Hearts Design =-.
Hi Z, I love the coupon idea, it’s like giving a personal gift certificate. This is an incredible one “Spending a whole day with you without any distractions.” The people who matter most in the world would really cherish this. I can see that you truly understand the essence of giving Z. Thanks so much for your kindness, it touches the heart.
I want to add to the list! Giving genuine warm hugs! I love hugging, one of my favorite things in the whole world!
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..4 Years And 6 Key Lessons From Blogging =-.
Hey Amit, there are plenty of people out there that appear to be in desperate need of a hug. So you’ve got your work cut out for you my friend. We better appoint you chief hugging officer. Go get ‘em.
Great post and so relevant at this time. I always loved these lines from Leaves of Grass:
“I give you my love more precious than money
I give you myself before preaching and law.”
It’s not the gift but the spirit behind it that gives it value.
The lyrics are good, but I appreciate your words even more: “It’s not the gift but the spirit behind it that gives it value.”
Jonathan – What a great thing to point out right before Christmas! We all get way too caught up in gifts. Like you, I don’t have a problem with gifts, but there are certainly more important things that we can focus on. In particular, I like that you mention enthusiasm. People really do need the encouragement that comes from enthusiastic individuals. I appreciate the enthusiasm and postive thoughts you share on this site!
.-= Jeff@MySuperChargedLife´s last blog ..The Most Unbelievable Story Ever Told =-.
Hi Jeff, enthusiasm is one of those highly contagious qualities. Many times, all people need is someone to help them get started. I think we have all felt our own enthusiasm rise in the presence of someone who is excited by life. It’s a great thing to share. Experience tells me that – My Super Charged Life – has plenty to go around. Thanks Jeff.
Dear Jonathan!! Laughed over your twitter!
Also, this is just GREAT! a couple of days ago I thought of you and your wife and your “relationship” to traditional holidays like Christmas (which are much like my husband’s and mine) and I thought, “I think I’ll do a post on what giving means to me, or what ‘real’ giving means.” And then (and I kid you NOT) I thought, “Oh! I bet Jonathan will have written a post about this by the time I go back online.” I am dead serious. And here I sit laughing my face off because sure enough here is your post…exactly as I thought it would be. LOLOLOL!!!! 
Oh well, that shot me out of the water. LOL!! AND it is a GREAT post, One that is needed so badly. One that I tweeted because people need to read this. They need to especially take into account their kids.
So many kids are starved for deeper relationship and connection with their parents, starved for love….and they end up desperate for presents (the latest doodad) because they’ve gone long enough without real connection that they hope and even believe (albeit possibly unconsciously) that the presents will somehow fill the hole left by the lack of genuine caring, love and meaningful interaction…time spent with and being seen by their parents.
So this is so important. If as much energy were put into our relationships and children as is put into shopping…we’d hardly recognize the change in the world; it would be that drastic.
Thank you for your deep and true values. They really resonate with me, and are so needed in a world that has lost almost all site of what IS valuable. Hugs, Robin
.-= Robin Easton´s last blog ..Share Your Legacy? =-.
Wow Robin, you said a mouthful. This is an important subject, and as you pointed out, especially for children. Children who grow up feeling truly loved tend to become loving parents themselves. Sadly, the opposite is also true.
Doing right by our children can have a positive impact on every subsequent generation. That’s the kind of giving that pays very happy dividends.
Thank you Robin, I want to replay this thought: “If as much energy were put into our relationships and children as is put into shopping…we’d hardly recognize the change in the world; it would be that drastic.”
Jonathan, I am appreciating this post in the fullest! Thank you so much for the time and thought and energy you put into this eloquently put, thought provoking post.
True connection is a thing which has been on my mind a lot of late – how to achieve such … true connection with the Self and true connection with those close to me and true connection with all those people I encounter every day even just in the briefest of ways … I came to realise that in all my searching and all my musing and pondering and reading and studying and testing and trying out, beaneath it all what I’ve really always been after is ways of truly connecting (I guess I truly needed to connect with my Self first before I even knew to understand that that’s what I was after – ironic, isn’t it) …
So my thinking has brought me to a place where I believe that in order to truly achieve connection, the only way to experience that is through the genuine and authentic giving of the Self … and what you describe in this wonderful post are the beautiful ways in which we can make ourselves vulnerable, open up and truly connect and share … what a life enriching experience for all concerned
… what a celebration of Life this really is!
Thank you for giving through this post
Wishing you and yours a magical Christmas filled with love and good cheer!
~ Tina
Hi Tina, thanks for the wonderful comment. It’s ironic how everyone is looking for happiness, and yet we are taught to pursue it like some kind of acquisition. In that mindset, people tend to insulate themselves from truly connecting with others. This, of course, can never lead to real happiness because happiness is a byproduct of serving others.
Jonathan,
My mom once told me that I would never be rich because I always give. I am rich, she doesn’t understand that you can be rich without having money all the time.
Love the Twitter ID!
.-= Frank J´s last blog ..Best of Tech Support Humor 2009 =-.
One thing’s for sure Frank, you are a giver. When I need any kind of tech support, you da man. You’ve helped me out of a lot of jams and I really appreciate your support. Thanks!
IMHO, the best giving comes from recognizing what someone else truly needs and providing it without them having to ask. Unless you’ve ever been hungry it may be hard to imagine how much a gift of something to eat might mean to someone hungry.
.-= Gail from GrowMap´s last blog ..How to Use TipTop for Real Time Market Research =-.
Hi Gail, thank you so much for that insight. While it should seem obvious, we really do need to be aware of of the other persons situation for our giving to have true value.
Giving from the heart… this is a truly beautiful post Jonathan!
.-= Lana – DreamFollowers Blog´s last blog ..How To Spend Time With Yourself and Why. =-.
Hi Lana, I am so glad you liked it. Thanks for you input and support, much appreciated.
Hi Jonathan, I love your non-commercial holiday topic. I’ve soured on Christmas because it seems like most of the energy is focused on shopping and material gifts. Its got so bad that people feel guilty if the gift they gave was not as expensive as the gift they received.
On the topic of contagious enthusiasm, I think they’ve done studies that show all kinds of ripple effects in positive emotions like smiling and laughing too.
I think another great way to give is to teach somebody something. It’s the old “teach them to fish” idea. In my mind that is a truly valuable gift that endures. I wish more of our charity was oriented to helping people become self-sufficient.
I hope you and yours had a wonderful and continue to have a wonderful Holiday season.
.-= Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Themes For The Coming Year =-.
Hi Stephen, I think a lot of people feel the way you do about the commercialized, mandatory gift giving pressure they experience this time of year. I really like what you said about the gift of teaching/learning. That’s something that can make a solid contribution to a persons life. Thanks for your thoughts my friend.
Hi,
This is so true and I love the photo. I believe no 4. is currently changing. Due to our economy I see people from all socio economic classes getting out of themselves and helping others. I know so many people who have lost their fortunes and second homes due to Madoff or bad investments. People who wouldn’t normally be reaching out to others are now being forced too. They are able to better relate because their “stuff” is no longer in the way.
I also thing young people are more interested in helping the world be a better place. Maybe they’ve already discovered “less is more.”
Anyway I guess what I’m trying to say is all that is happening in the world is a blessing in disguise even though it may not seem that way. Great post! Love it.
PS Instead of gifting our children this year we donated money to the smile train and wounded warriors. They thought it was a great idea.
Hi Tess, thanks for joining the conversation. The photo is a rock we found on the beach this summer. I knew it would come in handy. That’s a very perceptive observation about #4 (Concern and being self-centered). It does seem that when all the trappings are stripped away, people are often more willing to relate to each other. Thanks so much for pointing that out.
What a lovely list. These are the things I try giving during every season, but the Holidays are a great time to be even more aware of my contributions to the lives of others.
.-= Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last blog ..The Tranquility of Aloneness Without Loneliness =-.
Hi Nea, I agree that we should all do our best to give these thing during every season. In fact, it should be our way of life. I remember reading a post you wrote about your daughter and I felt this type of love from you toward her. That’s a perfect example of the true essence of giving.
this post is another point of view on the article “14 Effective communication skills”, where almost the same is described, but with one goal in mind – to connect with people.
And I like this post more. Because it teaches us to be honest, respectful and helpful… for the sake of giving, giving from the heart.
.-= xplanner+ agile management´s last amazing blog post ..job interview – how to get that job. =-.
For years my mother has always told us kids to give her the gift of time for her birthday, Christmas, Mother’s day or any other celebration. With all of us moved out of the family home and starting families of our own we often forget that our parents invested so much time in us and now we don’t share as much with them. Although some would say it is the circle of life we are human and families stay strong by staying connected. Our gifts are always in the form of time and we try our hardest to get every single member of the family together on those special occasions to celebrate as one big group. It is often these times that are the most memorable and I know the most cherished. Physical gifts are momentary, experiences can last forever!