Why do we set goals and then take action to achieve them? For that matter, why do we want meaningful friendships, more money, nicer surroundings, or anything else that people commonly pursue? What is the underlying desire that drives us to do almost everything in life?
Simple really, everyone person on the planet wants the same thing, to be happy. Isn’t that what it all comes down to? We all want to enjoy our life and our relationships. We want our efforts to feel worthwhile and the results of those efforts to bring a sense of satisfaction.
We want to feel good about our life every single day without being stressed out or worried about tomorrow. We just want to be happy, right?
In the pursuit of happiness
In an effort to find true happiness people have tried everything from altered states to the pursuit of massive wealth and power. From one end of the planet to the other, people have experimented with every conceivable type of lifestyle, relationship, economic status, eating regimen, exercise routine, philosophy and belief.
Advertisers have leveraged our innate desire for happiness and attached it to every product imaginable. We’ve all heard the expression “sex sells,” right? Well, the reason that sex sells is because on a very basic level it is linked to our desire to be happy. The same thing is true of whiter teeth, a leaner body, newer car, and anything else they want to sell. The message behind all advertising is always the same, “buy this, it will make you happy.”
Chasing the illusion
All of the things I’ve mentioned so far are built on the same illusion. They all have us looking for happiness from external sources. Granted, most of these things can add to our sense of joy, but they are not now, nor will they ever be, the source of happiness.
If being happy was based on money, position, relationships or possessions, then the rich and powerful would be the happiest people on earth, and nobody involved in a meaningful relationship would ever be unhappy. Clearly, this is not the case.
There is no marketable form of happiness
Happy people are all different. They don’t look the same or own the same things. They have different levels of education and income. They also have different lifestyles, types of employment, skills, eating habits, exercise routines, philosophies and beliefs. If you search for some common denominator in these areas, you won’t find one.
There is however something that all happy people have in common and it is probably the single most overlooked key to happiness. I call it…
The get happy now secret
So, what is this get happy secret that allows people who differ in every obvious way to find that elusive quality while others pursue it in vain? They have all made a decision to be happy. It’s that simple. They chose happiness!
Does this mean that once they’ve made the choice that nothing bad ever happens in their lives? Of course not, but they don’t let those things rob them of their inner joy. Making the decision to be happy also means that you accept full responsibility for your own happiness. When your happiness doesn’t depend on external forces, then those forces can’t take it away from you.
The effect on your world
Deciding to be happy causes a noticeable shift in our dominant energy. This shift affects us in a couple of profound ways. For one thing, it changes our perception of the world around us. Our focus gravitates to the positive side and we begin to notice even more reasons to feel happy and grateful.
Happy, positive people also attract others with a similar focus. This means that it is easier to stay positive because the people around us will tend to support and contribute to our positive outlook.
Instead of chasing it, start embracing it
Why not make up your mind to embrace happiness, starting right now. Go ahead and make a decision to be happy. Let your personal identity get all wrapped up in the concept of being a happy person. Fold it around yourself like a big, comfortable blanket.
If you look for reasons to be happy and grateful, you will quickly realize that they have been there all along. You don’t need special circumstances, training, lots of money or anything else to make you happy. All you need to do is choose to BE HAPPY from now on and your life will start to amaze you. There really is no reason you can’t start down this road right now, today. Stop chasing happiness and start embracing it.
Have you made the decision to be happy?
Do you recognize the happy lady in the photo?
The lines are open!
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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
I think people get happy as they earn or achieve something. Autonomy and mastery is what motivates people – individual’s happiness level will increase as person’s needs are satisfied.
Get Happy Life recently posted..Get Happy By Sharing Knowledge
Certainly, all these factors can make an meaningful contribution to a person’s sense of happiness, but they are not the source, just contributors. We know this because there are happy people who live in poverty and there are unhappy people who have an abundance.
When people realize happiness is a choice, it becomes a commonsense choice. External conditions will always be impermanent and ever-changing. We must be content with what is, no matter what it is – for the sole reason that it is better to be content than discontent.
Steven recently posted..How To Develop A Palate For Anything
Hey Steven, “it is better to be content than discontent.” I love it.
I think happiness is a choice that each person has to actively choose. If a person can’t reach happiness, as they determine what happiness means to them, then they may benefit from seeking wise counsel.
Jim recently posted..Are you an uber-nagger like me
Hi Jim, you hit on an important point because often a persons perception of happiness is the one that has been programmed into them.
I love the JUST DO IT attitude….great post!
Thank you!
Nancy
Thanks Nancy, seems like a no brainer, doesn’t it? Once we see it as a choice what’s left except to choose happiness.
Oh, Jonathan, you are so right! I’d like to add that there is a distinct difference between satisfaction and happiness. Satisfaction is an after-effect of pleasure. We are pleased when we accomplish something, achieve a pinnacle we set for ourselves, when good things happen to us and for us. After pleasure, satisfaction settles in. Neither of these has anything to do with happiness.
We decide to be happy, despite everything and not dependent upon anything. We learn to be unhappy. We learn this. It’s not our nature; it just becomes habit to choose to look away from ourselves. When we are true to ourselves, to what we are as human beings, we are happy for its OWN sake. Happiness—joy—is our most natural expression. To focus on happiness is like living in a continual state of being in love with life. Not the things of life, but Life Itself. When I choose to feel happiness within, I am choosing to be the wholly pure spirit that I really am. To feel anything less than a deeply known, deeply felt love of Life, love of the expression of Love, the experience of Love, is to choose some measure of death.
To not be fully engaged in the beauty that is Life is to be in some measure of denial of human existence. Crap happens, love happens, hard times happen, and so do easy ones. People come and people go, things are and then they are not. Goodness flows, is blocked, flows again. None of that has anything at all to do with happiness. Happiness has to do with living. With reaching deep within and touching that beautiful spirit that is pure joyousness begging for personification. When we do that, when we honor that pure essence deep in our core, we know happiness. Experiencing this, we realize we have everything we need. Want disappears, happiness is all there is—and the only thing left is the celebration!
Happiness is its own motivator. Once felt, nothing else ever measures up. And as we resonate in this beautiful state of loving ourselves, loving life, loving Love, our elevated vibration is a magnet that draws others toward seeking the same for themselves. What a gift happiness gives!
Julie recently posted..My Song
Julie,
Knowing you, I just know how you believe so deeply in this place of happiness…and of truly “being” there. And I also just want you to know that – in what you project – which is beauty and joy that speaks from your soul – you also reach deeply into mine. And in that, I’m reminded of what it is that truly matters to me, and where that deeper joy comes from….
Thank you for being in my life, dear friend…
Lance recently posted..Close To Home And Far Away
Oh, Lance… [hugs!] It’s I who is so glad to know you. ~J
Hey Julie and Lance, I know you both to be happy by nature and it shows. As I looked for a photo that expressed deep down happy, I could not imagine anyone’s face saying it better than yours Julie. Thanks for gracing this article with your wonderful smile.
Ohhh…!
Great advice.
But sometimes to decide to choose happy, one must first learn how to unidentify with their mind. Without this first step, it’s very hard to get to choose happiness, because it involves conscious effort, but lot of times people unhappy are simply not being conscious enough.
Harry @ GoalsOnTrack recently posted..5 Techniques to Clarify Your Dreams and Goals
Hi Harry, interesting point. Choosing happens in the mind but genuine happiness is more than a state of mind or an emotion. It’s like a chosen vantage point through which we see and feel everything that happens in life. Like any vantage point, maintaining our position during trying times can be challenging, but it sure beats the alternatives.
Hi Jonathan,
This is such a perfect message for the holidays: “There is no marketable form of happiness.” As you can see from the title of my last post, I agree with you fully! I love the way that you point out how happiness shifts our perception of the world. Thanks for the lovely article.
Sandra Lee recently posted..Happiness Is An Inside Job
Hi Sandra, logically, making the shift from externally based to internally based happiness sounds simple enough. I think the problem for most people is a life time of conditioning. In almost every area of life happiness is used like a carrot on a string to lead people in the desired direction. How ironic that we are trained to strive for that which has always been within our control.
Jonathan,
…to be happy…
I love that!! Because, to me – that speaks directly to something much more internal and to something that isn’t influenced by outside “things” or actions. It’s about knowing, at our core, what touches pure joy in us. And then “being” that…
I DO choose happy…and the more I’ve evolved into what this is internally for me, the more happy feels like ‘be’…
Lance recently posted..Close To Home And Far Away
Hey Lance, not only do you choose to be happy, you also spread it around liberally. You are “Mr. Happy Maker.”
Jonathan,
I choose to *live* fully rather than “exist”.. and my action step to back up my choice is to open my heart to the moment as it is presented to me. To experience life through my senses rather than my mind. To share *love* with All..purpose fully.
I *Love* Julie’s smile..she radiates peace and joy.. and I smile with her..
Hi Joy, like life itself, happiness only happens in the present tense. The mind can delay happiness or attach it to some past of future event or condition.
I totally agree you about Julie’s smile, Julie smiles with her whole being. Even her hair looks happy!
I’m 100 percent with you, Jonathan. In fact, I just drafted the content for a video I’m doing next week on the same topic. I was inspired by a four year old who was happy about the most inconsequential thing, and that’s what we need to be able to do. Find the small joys and just get happy.
Sure, accomplishments and achieving and growing bring happiness too, but they’re aren’t the only sources, as we tend to make them.
Ande Waggener recently posted..The 1 Reason Why You Keep Getting Disappointed
Hi Ande, your comment reminded me of a highly motivating video about a very happy and positive youngster named Jessica. Here’s the link to Jessica’s video. I think you will like it.
There is so much wisdom in this post, Jonathan. Happiness is, it is here and available.
You have said it beautifully: “When your happiness doesn’t depend on external forces, then those forces can’t take it away from you.”
Happiness is always an option, for all of us, in every moment. Thanks so much for this beautiful reminder.
Gail Brenner (AFlourishingLife) recently posted..Grateful for You
Greetings Gail, so nice to have you here. I love that “happiness is always an option.” Knowing that can make all the difference sometimes. Admittedly, in certain situations happiness may not be the most obvious option, but sometimes the best choice isn’t the most obvious.
I agree 100% with what is said here about happiness. Happiness is completely relative to your perspective and not dependent on the external whatsoever. Defining happiness by the external is the proverbial trap humans have been setting for themselves since the dawn of time.
Chris Ginsburg recently posted..The Transforming Power of Being Anonymous-Top 3 Places
Thanks Chris, it’s an easy trap to fall in, even for those who are aware of it. There is a pretty strong cultural pull there I think.
Amazing stuff Jonathan, fair play for bringing to light such a complex subject.
Me personally, I have recently come to realise that happiness is something that is life-long, and can’t be ‘bought’. Nothing in this life that’s worth having is gonna come easy, and the more people realise this, then the more they’d be willing to undergo temporary pain for lifelong happiness
Hey Stuart, thanks for sharing your perspective.
Good Morning Jonathan. Before I throw my two cents into your blog, I’d like to say this. It’s clear you’re independently continuing Norman Vincent Peale’s Mission with your own work. By “independently” I mean “coming from the same place….but pursuing an original direction”. Unlike folks who simply cut, paste, and plagiarize, it’s obvious you’re on your own Road Less Traveled. For that we all thank you, because it’s enriching our lives. Now for my pair of pennies. Your readers probably know Dr. Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking”. Peale discovered actively choosing to see the world as “half-full” helps make us happy. And indeed, choosing “Happiness Lite” is relatively easy. That’d be stopping to smell the roses, being grateful for what we’ve got, and lots of other things that make us feel better. But choosing “Happiness Writ Large” (having a profound sense of purpose, being truly fulfilled, becoming all we can become, and knowing why we’re here, amongst other things) has a knot in it. Here’s a little story that illustrates the knot. Imagine a blind man trying to choose an outfit for work. He’s got a closet filled with clothes but no one to help. Can he make the right choice? Only by luck. Same kind of thing holds with Happiness. To make the right choices, we must have “Vision”. Vision lets us see what to do with our lives. With Vision we can choose things to help us grow that True Self Jonathan’s book is all about. Growing our True Self is what makes us happy. And here’s the thing. Primal fears of being judged (told we don’t have worth because we’re small, poor, green, old, young….you name it) are what keeps us from having Vision. Take those fears away and we’re on our way to making the right choices….for us to be Truly Happy. That’s when “choosing to be happy” really kicks in. Ciao Jonathan.
John Duffield recently posted..True Self and Passion Myths
Hey John, so much value in your words. For the sake of everyone allow me to extract this valuable nugget: “Primal fears of being judged (told we don’t have worth because we’re small, poor, green, old, young….you name it) are what keeps us from having Vision. Take those fears away and we’re on our way to making the right choices….for us to be Truly Happy. That’s when “choosing to be happy” really kicks in.”
There is indeed a huge between choosing “happiness lite” and the full version. Thanks John!
Hi Jonathan,
I’m so happy someone let me in on this secret when I was very young!
I am happy for you Tess, that is a great gift to receive at a young age. I think it is one that loving parents should endeavor to pass on to their children. It should be their heritage.