From a young age, you are appointed. Appointed to what and by whom? By your parents as “old enough to stay home alone.” By your institutions as “educated enough to enter the full time work force.” By your employers as “responsible enough for promotion.”

Ask yourself these important question:

1) Have you become mentally conditioned by all this external appointment?
2) Have you given your power to someone or something outside of yourself?

Could this be the invisible Great Wall of China that’s blocking you from rocketing toward your goals and reaching your full potential? For most of us, to one degree or another, the answer is “yes.”

From a young age, powerful forces within society condition you to undervalue who and what you are — so you will look to them for your own self-worth — so you will look to them for validation, power, and permission, through the appointments they bestow on you.

Yes, we have all been hypnotized into believing we are smaller than we really are. Just as a fishbowl keeps goldfish tiny … we have all to one extent or another been fooled into believing our value equals the size of our external appointments.

The question is not: Have you given your power to someone or something outside of yourself? But rather: How can you take it back?

Unlike a goldfish swimming around oblivious in a tank, you have a choice!

Power is an inside job. You do not need to import it from external sources. All you need do is peel away the lies you’ve been told — and went on to tell yourself — that  are keeping you wading around in the kiddy pool of life.

Realize our school system, government, and industries reward dependency, NOT self-reliance … conformity, NOT innovation … slavery to the status quo, NOT fearless adventure into the unknown.

Aside from the 3Rs, (reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic) what you learn through formalized education is obsolete, outdated knowledge by the time you learn it. Worse, it is designed to prepare you to become a droid in a large vertically integrated company or institution the likes of which are disintegrating daily.

The result is the inevitable stunting of your initiative, creativity, and capacity for capitalist thinking. Naturally, you fail to appoint yourself captain of the myriad entrepreneurial opportunities around you. And then you wonder why external appointment eludes you.

Please don’t limit your life with these kinds of hideous hallucinations. Expand your beliefs to encompass the life you were born for. Emerson said, “Do the thing, and you will have the power.” You don’t need anyone’s permission.

There are few things more maddening than running into obstacles and blockades while you’re working toward an important goal.  You know how it works. You’ll be moving along nicely, feeling great about your progress, when all of a sudden – boom; you’re stuck.  You’ve just encountered an obstacle that you have no idea how to get around.

What you do next might determine whether you go on to achieve your goal or give up out of frustration.  I don’t know about you, but my first impulse is usually to try and find a way to work through the obstacle, sidestep around it, or even force it to move out of my way. Is that your first instinct also?

What if that doesn’t work?

Does that mean your goals are now toast? No, not necessarily. There’s another effective option that is often overlooked when it comes to dealing with obstacles. It’s called surrender. I know that the thought of surrendering to an obstacle can feel like you are giving up on your goal, but is that really the case? Keep in mind that surrender is not the same as defeat.

When you surrender to an obstacle as part of your success strategy, it just means that you are refusing to waste your energy fighting against it.  It means that instead of resisting and struggling, you are using time to get a different perspective on the situation so you can see the obstacle in a new light.

Here’s how to do it

1. Step back and gain some emotional distance. When most of us encounter obstacles, we tend to take them personally and draw conclusions about what they mean.  We throw our hands up and declare that our goals are finished, we’re finished, and we’ve failed.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Instead of drawing conclusions about whatever obstacle you’re facing, step back and observe it.  Then ask yourself a few questions like: Why has it appeared in your life?  What lessons can you learn from it?  Is it possibly an opportunity to stretch yourself more than you’ve been willing to in the past?

2. Stay open to your creative inspiration. Just asking questions like the ones in the last paragraph can get your creative juices flowing like crazy.  When you detach from any need to push through an obstacle, you may realize that there are many other options available to you.  During this time, be sure to write down any insights that pop into your head. They will probably prove useful very soon.

3. Give it time. Even if you see some great possibilities for working around the obstacle, don’t take action immediately.  Give it a few days.  Keep your distance, and you’ll probably notice that your fear and frustration will begin to dissipate.  Before long you’ll feel stronger and more capable about moving forward again. That’s the time to take action on some of those new ideas you came up with.

Leave room for change to occur naturally

When you enter into this process of surrender, don’t be surprised if the obstacle dissolves spontaneously on its own.  It happens frequently, simply because you’ve stopped trying to force things to happen and instead, you are willing to just go with the flow – which creates space for movement and progress to occur naturally.

Have you every stopped resisting in a situation like this?
When you did, what was your experience?
The lines are open!

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My friend Steve Aitchison just released some extremely entertaining free videos in connection with his new program called Mind Alchemy. Even if you aren’t interested in the program it’s well worth your time to watch the videos. He spent a lot of time on them and they are not what you would expect, plus you’ll meet George. Watch videos here!

There seems to be a lot of confusion when it comes to the difference between having goals and plain, old, wishful thinking.  I often hear people talking about their personal goals and find their enthusiasm to be very encouraging.  Everyone should have goals.

When I ask these same people about their strategies for reaching those goals, it’s not uncommon to hear the phrase “I’m going to try.”   I know their intentions are good, but the simple truth is that trying is not a strategy.  In fact, it’s usually a combination of wishful thinking topped with a token amount of effort.

What does this accomplish?

Most of the time simply trying will result in little or no progress.  Even if some initial progress is experienced, the results will likely be very short lived. This creates a negative feedback loop that can actually hinder our willingness to set personal goals. After all, if they never succeed in producing their intended result, then, what’s the point of trying again?

Think about that for a moment. Not only do halfhearted efforts lead to disappointing results, they also stifle a person’s enthusiasm toward future goals. If this pattern continues, it can easily result in limiting beliefs about what that person is or is not capable of.  And, just think, it all started with the best of intentions.

Intentions are not enough!

People who are successful at setting and reaching their personal goals understand that there is a process involved, and that this process can be duplicated.  They recognize that reaching goals involves several stages and that success comes by carefully following the process from one stage to the next. If we skip one of the necessary steps, the process falls apart.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, involves a desired outcome but lacks a sound strategy for achieving that outcome.  There is a huge difference between wanting something to happen and following a systematic approach for making it happen.

We are not born with life skills, they need to be learned

The process involved in successfully setting and accomplishing goals is one that anyone can learn.  If your efforts to reach your personal goals in the past did not produce the results you were hoping for, chances are, you did not fully understand the process.  So please, don’t fall into the trap of believing that you simply don’t have what it takes.

Instead of taking it personally, recognize that most of us simply have never been taught effective strategies for reaching our goals.  The good news is, once you acquire the necessary information and put it to use, you can expect to experience dramatically improved results.

How do we learn these skills?

There are a number of ways to learn the skills we need for goal setting, or any other area of personal development. Let’s look at a few choices.

1) Imitate success. One of the best ways we can learn to be successful in any area is to find people who are already producing good results and then imitate them.  Do you know somebody who is successful at reaching their goals? Why not spend some time with that person?  If you learn to think the way they think, and take action in the same way that they do, you should be able to produce similar results.

2) Trial and error. Like it or not, much of life is a process of trial and error. No matter how much we try to piece together the necessary information, success will still require that we make some adjustments. Gathering partial information here and there and then using what we learn to create a personal strategy can be very rewarding.  Nevertheless, we will still need to put our ideas to the test before we know whether they will work or not. This is the most common approach to personal development and it has a substantial learning curve.

3) Get a blueprint. If we can find a reliable, step-by-step blueprint that outlines the skills we need without leaving out vital information, we can simply follow the instructions. This is getting to be a very popular learning alternative. The problem is, very few affordable, blueprint type programs are actually complete enough to teach you the whole process. Also, since we are all different, a good personal success blueprint should be fully customizable to your particular needs. That is precisely why I wrote TRUE SELF. For less than the cost of a large pizza you can get a stand alone, step-by-step, totally customizable guide for personal success.

4) Personal coaching. I know it seems like an expensive alternative, but of all the ways to learn effective, customized strategies for achieving your personal goals in life, this is the clear leader. An experienced life or business coach can save you literally years of frustration over trying to cut and paste your way to personal success. There is nothing quite like the personalized attention of someone with both the experience and knowledge you are seeking. In the long run, hiring the right coach may be the least expensive way to quickly learn the right skills for reaching your goals in record time. Remember, cost is relative and your time is valuable.

Set your personal goals and follow through

Regardless of the approach you choose, the important thing is that you do more than just try to reach your goals. Any goal worth setting deserves to be acted on, and your course of action needs to include a systematic plan for producing your intended results.

Always keep in mind that learning to effectively set and achieve your goals is a life skill, and skills are something we acquire over time. Like any other skill, the more experienced you become at following through on your goals, the easier it will be to produce meaningful results.

Do you have a proven strategy for achieving your goals?
Where do you go for help with your life skills?
If you could have 3 free sessions with a life coach,
what subjects would you want to cover?

The entire process of transforming your personal goals into reality is detailed in sections 3 and 4 of my book TRUE SELF. These sections, Intended Outcome  and Designing Success, include eight chapters devoted to helping you fully harness your internal vision and path connection.

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Are you struggling to stay motivated on your journey to success?  Have your goals lost some of the shine they had when you first set them?  If so, you might consider whether they are big enough to keep your interest.

You may have thought so at one time but if they’re not what you really want deep down inside, you’re probably trying to force yourself to settle for what you think you can get.

There’s an easy solution to this problem:

Aim Higher!

Set a goal that’s so big and impressive that it gets your heart pumping and sweat popping out on your brow; a goal that seems almost impossible but would dramatically change your life if you were able to achieve it.

Does that get the motivational fire burning?

If so, take some time right now to clarify your new goal.  Write it out in detail and sketch out a plan of action to go for it.  List as many reasons as possible why you think you can accomplish this goal – and be specific!  Think of any past accomplishments and what it took to achieve them.  What kept you going?  How badly did you want it, and what were you willing to do to achieve it?

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