Giving is one of the greatest sources of joy and satisfaction known to humankind.  Have you ever wondered why that is? For some reason there seems to be an undeniable connection between our own happiness and our willingness to contribute to others?

We are in fact actually hardwired with this connection. Giving on any level just naturally makes us feel good inside. Case in point, have you ever met a philanthropist who was sad or depressed? And why do you suppose that volunteers often seem to enjoy their work more than some who get paid for doing the same thing?

Developing your inner philanthropist

A person who practices philanthropy doesn’t ask “What’s in it for me?” Instead of selfish pursuits, they are more concerned with making a positive difference in someone else’s life. They are happy because happiness is a byproduct of giving from the heart.

If we buy into the idea that happiness can be pursued directly through a selfish “What’s in it for me?” mentality, we will come up short every time. Oh, we may get some pleasure from the things we acquire, but that deep sense of satisfaction we are looking for will continue to elude us.

Cultivate the desire to contribute

Contrary to popular opinion; the rewards of selfish pursuits are extremely limited and empty.  We all have a need to serve a greater cause than ‘self,’ whether we are aware of it or not. Deep down, it is part of our nature to want to help others, to make a positive difference in their lives.

Sometimes, this can be a difficult concept to grasp, especially if we are struggling to meet our own needs.  That’s because struggle and lack obscure our appreciation for the true value of giving. In reality, the ability to make a meaningful contribution to the lives of others does not depend on our financial circumstances. Compulsory giving out of a sense of obligation is not the same as giving from the heart.

Give from your hearts abundance

Something as simple as the gift of a sincere smile can mean a lot to someone who is feeling down. How about helping an elderly person, or a mother trying to manage her children, load their groceries into their car? Think that might make a significant difference in their day? Many children grow up having spent very little one-on-one time with their parents as individuals. Giving of your time is a gift of incomparable value to your children.

The point is, when you are willing to give from the abundance of your heart there is never any shortage of gifts or lack of opportunities. The idea that we are obligated to give at certain times and in certain ways has distorted the whole concept of giving. Which would you rather receive – a gift from the heart or one that came from a sense of obligation and social pressure?

Expand your heart and experience deeper satisfaction

Once we begin to experiment with different ways of helping others we may discover a wide array of surprising benefits.  Helping others is always a worthwhile pursuit all on its own, and that’s how we should view it.  But in reality, most forms of giving also include receiving on some level.

That’s because there is a special kind of satisfaction that comes only through giving.  In fact I don’t believe it is possible to experience a deeply satisfying and fulfilling life without a personal commitment to contributing to others in positive ways.

Happiness is the byproduct of giving from the heart

We can expect to experience a powerful internal transformation once we embrace the role of a contributor.  It automatically initiates a quantum shift in our values and beliefs.  Our perception of what is important in life takes on a new dimension and our concept of reality begins to expand around the desire to help others.

A willingness to contribute should always be fueled by an unselfish desire to give without any thought of getting something in return.  Even so, those you help will often express gratitude.  Once your heart is touched by the grateful appreciation of another, you will be hooked on giving.  The experience of receiving on that level expands your heart and changes your sense of identity. In some very tangible and amazing ways, giving is truly a gift.

Are you in touch with your inner philanthropist?
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How does a relationship that started out like a fairytale romance end up being a source of confusion and unhappiness? Is there anything you can do to safeguard that special bond that initially attracted you to one another? What is the quickest way to turn things around and rekindle those special feelings if they seem to be evaporating?

These are just a few of the questions commonly asked by concerned couples feeling the squeeze of increasing stress on their relationship. Have you ever struggled with these or similar issues?

Let’s look at a few reasons why a good relationship can become challenging and what you can do to prevent, or even reverse, such a trend. Considering three specific aspects of our personal perception can help us to see the big picture and make any adjustments that might seem appropriate.

The role of focus, filters and priorities

How we view our world and the people in it has everything to do with our perception. Regardless of how objective we might think we are, our personal version of reality is heavily influenced by what we focus on, how we filter that information, and the way we set our priorities.

Not only will the settings of these three factors determine our perception, they will also determine how we respond to the world around us. This is especially evident in the way we interact in our closest relationships.  Those closest to us are always the ones who see our true colors.

Adjusting your settings for relationship joy

By making adjustments in our focus, filters and priorities we can literally transform what we bring into a relationship and what we receive from it. So, let’s work with these three components of perception and see how we can tweak them for a richer and more meaningful relationship experience.

1. Adjusting your focus. Remember what you used to focus on when your relationship was new? Remember how much joy that brought you? That’s because focus is the most powerful way to adjust our impression of reality. When your relationship was new you made it a habit to focus on all of your partner’s amazing qualities. No matter what else was going on in your life, being together was so wonderful that you always looked forward to it with eager anticipation and you never allowed the cares of life to dampen your time together.

How about now? Are you still focused on those amazing qualities or has your attention drifted to their faults and shortcomings? When you are together do they still get your undivided attention and admiration or has the stress of life overshadowed the way the two of you interact? See the difference focus makes? So, what can you do about it?

Solution. Make a conscious and consistent effort to recapture the same kind of focus that got your relationship rolling in the first place. Turn your attention to those amazing qualities and away from anything that doesn’t feed your sense of joy and appreciation. If you focus on the positive your perception of, and your response to, your partner will shift. In turn, they will respond to you accordingly. Relationships are based on cause and effect. If you change the cause the effect will change also.

2. Adjusting your filters. When you first got to know each other, did you find your partners little idiosyncrasies irritating or entertaining? Did you see their unique personality traits as refreshing or strange and in desperate need of refinement? Your view of your partner has always been up to you. You are the one who chooses which filters to look through.

If you are looking through a critical or judgmental filter you will see things that you don’t appreciate. If you are looking through a happy, grateful filter you will readily notice more and more reasons to find delight in your partner’s unique attributes. Your attitude is your filter and a positive attitude based on love and appreciation can filter out many of the little annoyances that might rob you of the joy you both deserve.

Solution. Stick with the filters that you used when your relationship was the most positive part of your life. When you combine a positive focus with a positive attitude it starts a chain reaction that can bring a great sense of joy and satisfaction into your relationship. No matter what happens in other areas of your life, always do your best to greet your mate with a loving, positive, appreciative attitude.

3. Adjusting your priorities. When your relationship was in full bloom, where was it positioned on your list of priorities? Where is it now? Is it still at the top of the list or have other things been getting top billing lately? When I talk about priorities I am not referring to how your time is divided. I am talking about what is most important to you. Most of us spend more time working than we do interacting with our partner, but which one owns your heart? That’s what defines your priorities.

If our relationship is our top priority we will make time for it and won’t allow the other concerns of life to squeeze the life out of it. And we won’t do this solely out of a sense of responsibility; we’ll do it because we want to. We’ll do it because our relationship means more to us than anything else and because that is where our heart is.

Solution. Take the time to evaluate your true priorities in life and see if your lifestyle supports your relationships position at the top. Don’t make excuses or deceive yourself while evaluating your situation because that could prove very costly. If you are not sure, ask your mate, but don’t get upset if you don’t like their answer. Next, make any needed adjustments to establish your relationship as your number one priority. When both partners know that the relationship comes first it does amazing things to the way they interact with each other. Isn’t that what you both want?

Go make it happen!

Use these three keys to unlock and maintain the joy that comes from a truly meaningful and satisfying relationship. Granted, you can’t control how your partner acts, but you can give them every reason to respond to your efforts in a way that empowers you both and brings a lot of joy into your world.

How do you keep the joy alive in your relationship?
What keys would you add to these three?
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Many relationships are under tremendous stress these days. If that is true for you and you want to turn it around, take a moment to consider this solution.

When you are busy working toward a long term goal do you find it difficult to maintain your focus? Does it seem like your life requires you to play so many different roles that it is almost impossible to stay focused on any one project for very long?

When our attention gets spread too thin it can be challenging to stay motivated over the long run. Projects that we are passionate about keep getting shoved into the background and end up taking much, much longer that we thought they would.

How can we maintain our enthusiasm and keep our focus with so many distractions? What steps can we take to regain some control of our schedule? How can we bring a greater sense of joy into our daily routine?

11 tips for getting more enjoyment out of every day

1. Value simplicity. The simpler things are the less distracted we will be. This means we need to de-clutter our environment and our minds.  For some reason we seem to accumulate physical, mental, and emotional clutter. So we end up rushing from one demanding situation to another with no real feeling of accomplishment. To quiet our minds and restore a sense of order to our lives we need to value simplicity.

2. Experience your activities. How often are you doing one thing and thinking about another? How can we find enjoyment in anything if our focus is somewhere else? If we never take the time to actually be in the moment then can we say that we are really living our life? Even the most mundane activities can be enjoyable if we stay centered on the actual experience. In this over stimulated, out of balance and hectic world, simple activities fully experienced can be enjoyable if we let them.

3. Savor the little things. The next time you eat a piece of fruit or enjoy a cup of coffee or tea, simply enjoy it. Wrap your senses around it and savor the experience. When we gulp down our food and rush off to whatever comes next, we are actually robbing ourselves of pleasure. Our senses of smell and taste are connected to our brains pleasure center. When you savor what goes into your body you tend to eat less and enjoy it more.

4. Add variety to your routine. Don’t be afraid to try something new. It could be something as simple as taking a different route to get to work or as complex as learning to play a musical instrument. Instead of turning on the television  after dinner, try going for a walk in the evening air. Right now is an excellent time to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but have never gotten around to because someday may never come.

5. Make time for what you love. If all we ever did was work on and attend to our obligations it could become difficult to keep finding joy in our day-to-day experience. It’s important to take care of our responsibilities, but we should also try to balance the “need to do” activities with a few things we really want to do. If we never make the time to do things we are excited about, we could easily start resenting our lives. That’s why it is important to make time every day for the things we really enjoy.

6. Drop unnecessary commitments. Just as we need to make time for doing things we love, we also need to work toward minimizing the things that just consume time and energy with no real payoff. Granted, some things simply aren’t negotiable, but other so-called obligations aren’t really necessary. For each commitment ask yourself if this is something that’s really adding to your life. Is it enhancing your life, or is it just adding more stress? If it doesn’t add any positive benefit, drop it.

7. Focus on what matters. There is productivity and there is busy work. Sometimes it can be difficult to recognize the difference because it varies for each of us. Here’s an example: For someone whose livelihood comes from social media marketing, spending time on sites like Twitter and Facebook might represent productivity. For others however, anything more than 5-10 minutes on those sites might just be a distraction from what really matters. It’s up to each of us to analyze our own situation and apportion our time accordingly.

8. Learn to just let go. When it comes to relaxation the body follows the mind. If your mind is busy obsessing over all the things that didn’t get done today, then you are not relaxed. Your body can only experience relaxation if your mind has let go of anything and everything that causes stress, worry, or anxiety. You will enjoy your life a lot more if you take some time every day to practice letting go.

9. Embrace generosity. There are almost endless opportunities to contribute to the lives of others. Any act of kindness is an act of generosity. Smile at strangers, hold the door open for the person behind you, listen while someone else is talking, and be respectful. These simple acts of kindness don’t cost you anything, but they add enjoyment to your life and the lives of those around you.

10. Do a daily gratitude review. Focusing on gratitude will change your life on every level. It is so easy to get caught up in selfish pursuits and forget how much there is to be grateful for. Gratitude is the antidote for selfishness. If you take a minute every morning and every evening to review your blessings, you will start to notice more and more things to be grateful for. Of all the ways to get more enjoyment out of every day, this is the simplest and the most powerful. If you only put one thing from this list into action in your life, this should be it.

11. Examine your priorities. Life is an ever changing experience and that means that we need to reevaluate our priorities on a regular basis. Make sure you know what is truly important to you, and why. Give your top priorities first place in your life or they will get swallowed up by everything else. Everyone you know probably has an opinion about what should be important to you. Keep in mind that this is your life and you need to set your own priorities. Choose wisely and you too will find enjoyment in your every day life.

Did any of these points resonate with you?
Do you have a special tip for more daily enjoyment?
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Editors note: This is a guest post
by Zeenat of Positive Provocations

Forgiveness is about release, releasing yourself from the self-imposed limitations and self-defeating behavior patterns that tie you to the past in unhealthy ways. Forgiveness is about releasing your anger, fear, pain and resentment and opening your heart to joy, peace and love.

It means that you will no longer allow the past to have a hold on your life; that you are willing to release the hurt and the pain; that you no longer wish to be tied to the past in a negative way; that you are freeing yourself from the ties that hold you back from living the life you deserve to live. Easy to say, not always so easy to do.

Reasons to practice forgiveness

If you have been nurturing a grudge against somebody for a while, then maybe, its time for you to let it go. It might be the healthiest decision you might make in your life!

Here’s Why: Forgiveness is the key to great emotional, psychological and physical health.

I remember an intelligent woman I counseled a few years ago who had to leave her successful career due to debilitating dizziness spells. It transpired that as a child she had been severely bullied by her elder sister. I checked with her if she was ready to forgive her estranged sister. Though she dismissed my query, she came back the following week looking visibly at peace.

It turns out that, after some deliberation she had in fact sent out a ‘forgiveness email’ to her sister. She got a prompt, warm and loving reply and suddenly felt “years of bitterness falling away”. However, what was most amazing was that there was a remarkable decline in her spells of dizziness and soon she resumed work!

Don’t underestimate the power of forgiveness

Admittedly, not all recoveries are so sensational. At times, the process of forgiveness might take a little longer.

As for unforgiving people – they are prone to cardiovascular problems, chronic back pain, impaired neurological functioning, suppressed immunity, anxiety and depression, not to mention lack of a social life, as every grudge is hoarded and nurtured till the world seems hostile.

In the past few years, I have observed many of my patients truly heal after letting go of grudges and forgiving.

Forgiveness Skills

I can say from my own experience that building my own forgiveness skills has been very liberating. I feel very much at peace with my family, friends and acquaintances.

Forgiveness should be incorporated into our personality, be made a way of life, not merely a response to specific insults.

Here are some tips to develop your forgiveness skills:

• Find time everyday to meditate. Do deep breathing and scan your mind for any resentment you are keeping locked in. Visualize it as a tight knot holding you down. Breathe into it slowly. Imagine it slowly melting away and leaving you feeling light and free.
• Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. It’s not about excusing the other person or condoning the behaviors. Just letting go of your own suffering.
• If there is deep seated hostility against somebody from the past, writing a forgiveness letter to that person will help. If you do not want to mail it, then throw it or burn it and imagine your feelings of revenge disappearing too. A daily ritual of writing forgiveness notes can be a useful safety valve for your healing.
• There might be people who are insensitive, inconsiderate and abusive at times. Do not let their negative vibe rub off on you. Move to a higher level of being. Keep your mind and the energy around you free and uncontaminated.

Don’t leave yourself out of the forgiveness loop!

And most importantly of all, remember to forgive yourself, for not being perfect, for not getting over things quickly enough, for snapping at your co-worker, for . . . whatever. You deserve the same mercy, compassion and understanding as everyone else.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself – the gift of freedom from negativity to the safety, comfort and joy of positivity and happiness.

Zeenat is a Practicing Counseling Psychologist, Counselor, Motivational Speaker and Naturopath. She holds degrees in Counseling and Motivational Psychology, and in various fields of Holistic and Naturopathic medicine.
In addition to conducting many motivational seminars for organized groups and multinational companies, Zeenat has also treated many physical and mental diseases successfully without the use of any allopathic medication. Her blog, Positive Provocations is about spreading positivity, motivation, and inspiration. Please take the time to visit her.

Do you find it difficult to let go of resentment?
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Our attitude has a profound effect on the quality of our life. Optimism and pessimism create two completely different realities. By taking a few simple steps to adopt a more positive attitude, you can enjoy both immediate and long term benefits.

“Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” ~Earl Nightingale

Increased happiness is one of the immediate positive effects of a more optimistic attitude. The fact is, optimistic people tend to experience much greater personal joy on a day-to-day basis than their pessimistic counterparts.

The prospect of a longer healthier life is also a scientifically proven benefit of living with a positive attitude. In contrast, a negative, pessimistic mindset has been shown to contribute to scores of health challenges including immune disorders, cancer, and heart problems. All other factors being equal, a happier life means a healthier life.

11 Practical steps to a more optimistic attitude

Learning to maintain a positive attitude during stressful times can be challenging. It may take some time before your natural response to almost any situation is optimistic. However, when you consider both the short term and long range benefits, your efforts are bound to pay big dividends. Let’s consider 10 simple steps you can start using immediately to move you in a positive direction.

1. Think Gratitude. A grateful mindset exerts a powerful influence on your outlook. Not only does it make you feel good in the moment, it also shifts your focus in a positive direction. Turn your attention toward your blessings and keep it there. As you focus more on what you are grateful for in your life (even the really small blessings!), you will worry less about anything that may be lacking. As a result, you will experience a more pervasive sense of happiness!

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” ~Cicero

2. Choose Happiness. Being happy is not about circumstances or any other outside force. Happiness is a decision we make. Why not make up your mind to embrace happiness, starting now? Go ahead and make a decision. Let your personal identity get all wrapped up in the concept of happiness. Fold it around yourself like a big comfortable blanket.

“The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.” ~Martha Washington

3. Substitute Challenges for Problems. Subconsciously, the word problem says, “Life is not as it should be.” This causes our energy to be funneled toward repairing something that’s gone wrong. On the other hand, the word challenge sends no such message. Instead of trying to repair a malfunction, our resources are recruited to search for a new opportunity. Seeing an experience as a challenge will focus our attention on a positive outcome.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”~Winston Churchill

4. View Life as a Journey. A journey is an adventure of discovery. When we are on a journey we don’t fear change, we welcome it. We look forward to new and unfamiliar experiences. On a journey we are full of optimism because we are filled with the expectation of a wonderful adventure. This is the perfect attitude to carry with you every day.

5. Stop and Smell the Roses. When you constantly feel rushed and scattered, it can be difficult to maintain an optimistic outlook. Buying out regular opportunities to focus on simple pleasures can help restore a sense of balance to your life. By pausing briefly to really taste your food or enjoy a beautiful piece of music, you remind yourself of the joy of simplicity.

“It is always wise to stop wishing for things long enough to enjoy the fragrance of those now flowering.” ~Patrice Gifford

6. Begin Your Day On a Positive Note. Find a few minutes each morning to clear your mind and then think positive thoughts about the upcoming day. Focus on the people and events that bring you joy or a sense of satisfaction. What’s your favorite part of the day going to be? Take some time to look forward to everything that you will enjoy. Now carry that feeling with you all day long, even during the less enjoyable activities. Let your optimism flow into your entire day.

7. Be Positively Aware. Make it a habit to actively search for the positive side of everything. Turn it into a private game. With practice, you will be surprised how easy it becomes to see the not so obvious benefits and pleasures all around you. Being alert to the reasons for optimism also helps move our attention away from the negative side of life.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~Max Planck

8. Act Out Happy. You can use words and body language to program your nervous system. When you make a conscious effort to walk the walk and talk the talk, your feelings will soon follow. Our personal perspective takes a lot of clues from how we act. If you act like a happy optimistic person, your mind accepts that as your reality. Try it and see for yourself.

9. Hang Out With Positive People. Use the power of peer influence to feed your sense of optimism. The attitude of the people around us can be a powerful force for good or bad. Seek out the company of those with a sunny disposition and let yourself be influenced by their optimism. Use the group dynamic to your benefit.

10. Do A Gratitude Review Nightly. This is a great way to end your day. Before you go to bed think of at least ten things that you are truly grateful for. Let yourself feel the joy that those things bring to your life. Fall asleep reflecting on your blessings.

“Reflect each day on all you have to be grateful for and you will receive more to be grateful for.” ~Chuck Danes

11. Minimize Exposure to Negative Influences. Stop watching, reading, or listening to the news. If you can free yourself from this negative influence it will change your life. Without that pervasive daily dose of despair, you will find it so much easier to focus on positive things in life.

30 Days to a more positive you!

Print out this list and read it daily, it will help you stay on track. If you catch yourself sliding into a pessimistic head space, stop and review your list. All you need to do is stay the course for 30 days and these thing will become part of your nature.

How important do you feel attitude is?
What ways have you found to stay positive?
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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

There is no two ways about it; we have all experienced disappointment before. We’ve been disappointed in ourselves, others, outcomes, the weather, our job, and just about anything else we can think of.

So, here’s my question: Why?

It’s a simple enough question! Why do we get disappointed? Is it because people and situations let us down? Well, I know that’s the way it feels sometimes, but that is not why we get disappointed.

In reality, disappointment has nothing to do with other people, places, or circumstances. The fact is, disappointment never originates with an external source.

All disappointment comes from the same source

Can you guess what that source is? I’ll give you a hint, it’s internal. That’s right; we are the source of our own disappointment. OK, I know what you’re thinking…

If the weather turns bad while I’m on vacation, what does that have to do with me? And if the new car I just bought is a lemon, how is that from an internal source? I don’t control the weather, and I didn’t build the car, so how can I be responsible for the disappointment involved?

To answer those questions, we must first identify what disappointment really is. Is it the weather? Is it a car? Is disappointment any kind of a person, place, thing, or situation? No, it’s none of those.

Well then, what is it?

You know what it is – it’s a feeling! And where do feelings come from? There internal, right? They are an emotional response that we create. In the case of feeling disappointed, it’s our emotional response to EXPECTATION. That’s right; expectation is the basis for all disappointment.

We get disappointed when things fail to live up to our expectations. We don’t go to Hawaii to bask in the rain, and we don’t spend tens of thousands of dollars on a new car so we can have mechanical problems. We tend to attach expectation to almost everything in life and this means disappointment becomes a distinct possibility.

The role of expectation

Giving up on expectation so we won’t be disappointed is not really a viable option. Much of our excitement and enthusiasm in life comes from eager expectation. We look forward to things when we anticipate a desirable outcome. In fact, often times that excitement makes up a large percentage of the joy we experience.

Expectation can also work the other way. If we are anticipating a painful outcome we don’t call it excitement, do we? No, we call it anxiety. In the case of a negative expectation (anxiety), then we are glad when things don’t turn out the way we expected. It’s a relief instead of a disappointment.

So how do we avoid feeling disappointed?

That’s a really good question. There are a number of adjustments we can make to reduce our feelings of disappointment without sacrificing enthusiasm. Here are three:

1. Accept wider parameters. When our expectations fall within parameters that are too narrow then the likelihood that we will experience disappointment goes way up. For example, if you go to Hawaii during the winter accept the fact that you will probably have some rainy days. Plan some non beach activities around those days and you’ll be covered. On the other hand, if having a good time requires that everyday be between 78-83 degrees with cloudless skies, that’s just asking to be disappointed. So loosening up on your expectations a bit reduces the chance of disappointment.

2. Live in the moment. Viewing your life as an adventure allows you to enjoy the greatest variety of experiences. You still have the expectation of adventure, but you haven’t hemmed it into a preconceived package. Instead, you have made yourself open to just about anything that comes along and your enthusiasm remains high. Life is always a experience, cherish that and you’ll enjoy the ride.

3. Value learning. There are valuable lessons in every experience we have. How do you feel about these life lessons. Truth be told, some of our most profound learning comes from situations that didn’t turn out the way we thought they would. Much of the time we get what we need rather than what we want. If learning and growing is a top priority for us, we will find reasons to appreciate a wide range outcomes and experiences.

It’s all about attitude!

In the long run, it’s mostly up to us to decide what value we place on any experience. If we are looking for disappointment, that’s what we are going to find. Things don’t always turn out the way we might like, that’s a fact we all live with. Being enthusiastic and full of eager anticipation makes life fun and exciting. Learning to love the journey is the best defense against the dark cloud of feeling disappointed.

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

What challenges are you currently stressing over? Is it financial problems, weight issues, depression, or a lack of energy? Could it be self-esteem or relationship problems?

Those are truly legitimate concerns, but did you ever consider that many of those issues may actually be symptoms of a less obvious problem?

What could this hidden problem be?

Underlying and contributing to these other problems, an epidemic of chronic boredom is draining the joy out of the lives of millions of people these days.

It’s affecting them emotionally, physically and financially. It’s robbing them of their happiness, and taking a big toll on the quality if their lives and relationships.

I am not talking about the kind of boredom that comes from not having anything to do. We all have plenty to do! In fact, having too much to do might be a contributor.

Can you be extremely busy and still be bored?

Yes, you certainly can, because boredom comes from not having anything to do that gets you truly excited and fills you with joyful anticipation. In other words, boredom happens when you are unable to do the things you really long to do! It is actually a byproduct of feeling discontent and unfulfilled.

How about you, are you bored, confused or dissatisfied with your life? The sad truth is, most people are bored out of their minds!

Why? Because, from the time they get out of bed in the morning, until the time they climb back into bed at night, nothing fun or exciting ever happens. There is nothing for them to look forward to. No reason to feel totally jazzed about their day. No sense of eager anticipation.

It’s the same old breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s the same boring shallow conversations about the weather or the news, with the same old boring people. Multiply this by 7 days a week, times 52 weeks a year, and what do you get? You get a bland, boring, lifeless, soul sucking existence!

7 ways to beat the boredom blues

1) How about a vacation? A really nice vacation can break the monotony, and get you feeling all fired up and excited. Vacations are a great idea, and I think it is extremely beneficial to take them regularly. But you can only take so many vacations, and their effect will only last so long. Then it’s back to the same old grind.

Still, they do help, so let’s categorize vacations a partial solution. What else can we do to breathe some pleasurable balance into our routine?

2) Complimentary activities. Here’s what I mean by that. If your work is mostly sedentary, then a you need to compliment it with some physical activities to balance things out. Take a walk during your lunch break. This will give you a change of scenery in addition to some increased circulation. Join a gym and stop there on your way to or from work for an hour or so. Go walking with your favorite person after work to unwind and communicate. It doesn’t really matter how you do it, just find a way to move your body.

What if your job is physically demanding? Then balance dictates some kind of restorative activity. This doesn’t mean you should exclude anything physical, but try to avoid activities that are too demanding. There are plenty of passive pass times that will leave you feeling refreshed.

3) Quiet reflection. Everyone, regardless of their lifestyle, should spend some amount of time each day in quiet reflection. I like the early mornings before things really get rolling. This is not a time for high powered thinking. It is a time for feeling peacefully aware. I purposely keep my mind quite and allow thoughts to drift in and out without getting overly engaged.

Learning to quiet our mind while still being alert is extremely restful. The mind will be running at full speed soon enough. I try for a state in which the mind and body are fully integrated and peacefully in sync. Making it a habit to do this for 10-15 minutes a day can have a profound effect on the way you perceive your life.

4) Get a hobby. Find something to do that has no connection with the rest of your life. Something you do for one reason only – enjoyment. You don’t need a practical reason for everything you do, practice doing something just because you enjoy it. Hobbies are like vacations from the structured part of your life, so don’t pollute them with ulterior motives. There purpose is enjoyment, pure and simple.

My hobby is Japanese Bonsai trees. The first time I was exposed to the art of Bonsai, I was instantly, and passionately hooked. I have enjoyed potting, pruning, shaping and caring for them ever since. Why? No logical reason, I don’t analyze it, I just enjoy it. Find something that works for you, and set aside some time to indulge yourself.

5) Day or weekend trips. Big ticket vacations are great, but so are little mini escapes. Even if you love your work, you still need to separate yourself from it on a regular basis. Do it for the people you love, even if don’t feel the need personally. I love what I do, but my wife likes to have me to herself from time to time. Don’t loose touch with ‘who you are’ away from what you do. A meaningful life is a balanced life. Design periodic ‘away days’ and you will accomplish more and keep everyone much happier in the process.

6) Explore new career options. If you don’t really like what you do, explore other options. Technology has opened many new windows of opportunity. You have options available that you are probably not even aware of. Do some research in a field that interests you, and don’t be afraid to explore new possibilities. There are people earning fantastic incomes, working from their home, with nothing more than a creative idea and a keyboard. You are only limited by your imagination.

If you discover something that gets you excited, ease into it a little at a time, to see if it’s a good fit. When you have a real grasp on what is required, create a plan that will help you make the transition in a realistic way. You are not stuck where you are, unless you want to be.

7) ***Learn to view your current activities in a positive way. This one is about attitude, and let’s face, life is about 90% attitude. If you are feeling bored or dissatisfied with any aspect of your current life, maybe it’s time to reevaluate. Let’s say that it is your job that you are unhappy with. I suggest that you make two lists.

One list will include all the things you don’t like about your job. How do you feel about the people, pay scale, responsibilities, hours, appreciation level, and anything else that comes to mind. If it bothers you, list it.

On the other list, write down everything you do like about your job. No matter how small or insignificant it might seem, if it is something positive, write it down. Now here’s the thing about this list, don’t stop until you find at least 30 things that you like about your job. That might sound impossible, but take your time and be creative. If you run out of things to list, take a break and then come back to it.

When you are done with the second list, go back to the first one, and ask yourself this question about every single negative thing you listed: “How have I contributed to this negative feeling?” If you are honest with yourself, your answers will probably surprise you. Remember, attitude is a huge part of perception.

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If you have ever been discouraged because of failure, please read on. Did you know that often, achieving what you set out to do is not the important thing? Let me explain by way of a little story.

Two brothers decided to dig a deep hole behind their house. As they were working, a couple of older boys stopped by to watch.

“What are you doing?” asked one of the visitors.

“We plan to dig a hole all the way through the earth!” one of the brothers volunteered excitedly.

The older boys began to laugh telling the younger ones that digging a hole all the way through the earth was impossible. After a long silence, one of the diggers picked up a jar full of spiders, worms and a wide assortment of insects. He removed the lid and showed the wonderful contents to the scoffing visitors. Then he said quietly and confidently, “Even if we don’t dig all the way through the earth, look what we found along the way!”

It’s about the journey

Admittedly, their goal was far too ambitious, but it did cause them to dig. And that is what a goal is for – to cause us to move in the direction we have chosen. In other words, to motivate us to do some digging!

You see, not every goal will be fully achieved. Not every job will end successfully. Not every relationship will endure. Not every hope will come to pass. Not every love will last. Not every endeavor will be completed. Not every dream will be realized. But when you fall short of your aim, perhaps you can say, “Yes, but look at what I found along the way! Look at the wonderful things which have come into my life because I tried to do something!”

It is in the digging that life is lived. In the end, it is the level of joy that you find in the journey that truly matters.

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