Giving is one of the greatest sources of joy and satisfaction known to humankind.  Have you ever wondered why that is? For some reason there seems to be an undeniable connection between our own happiness and our willingness to contribute to others?

We are in fact actually hardwired with this connection. Giving on any level just naturally makes us feel good inside. Case in point, have you ever met a philanthropist who was sad or depressed? And why do you suppose that volunteers often seem to enjoy their work more than some who get paid for doing the same thing?

Developing your inner philanthropist

A person who practices philanthropy doesn’t ask “What’s in it for me?” Instead of selfish pursuits, they are more concerned with making a positive difference in someone else’s life. They are happy because happiness is a byproduct of giving from the heart.

If we buy into the idea that happiness can be pursued directly through a selfish “What’s in it for me?” mentality, we will come up short every time. Oh, we may get some pleasure from the things we acquire, but that deep sense of satisfaction we are looking for will continue to elude us.

Cultivate the desire to contribute

Contrary to popular opinion; the rewards of selfish pursuits are extremely limited and empty.  We all have a need to serve a greater cause than ‘self,’ whether we are aware of it or not. Deep down, it is part of our nature to want to help others, to make a positive difference in their lives.

Sometimes, this can be a difficult concept to grasp, especially if we are struggling to meet our own needs.  That’s because struggle and lack obscure our appreciation for the true value of giving. In reality, the ability to make a meaningful contribution to the lives of others does not depend on our financial circumstances. Compulsory giving out of a sense of obligation is not the same as giving from the heart.

Give from your hearts abundance

Something as simple as the gift of a sincere smile can mean a lot to someone who is feeling down. How about helping an elderly person, or a mother trying to manage her children, load their groceries into their car? Think that might make a significant difference in their day? Many children grow up having spent very little one-on-one time with their parents as individuals. Giving of your time is a gift of incomparable value to your children.

The point is, when you are willing to give from the abundance of your heart there is never any shortage of gifts or lack of opportunities. The idea that we are obligated to give at certain times and in certain ways has distorted the whole concept of giving. Which would you rather receive – a gift from the heart or one that came from a sense of obligation and social pressure?

Expand your heart and experience deeper satisfaction

Once we begin to experiment with different ways of helping others we may discover a wide array of surprising benefits.  Helping others is always a worthwhile pursuit all on its own, and that’s how we should view it.  But in reality, most forms of giving also include receiving on some level.

That’s because there is a special kind of satisfaction that comes only through giving.  In fact I don’t believe it is possible to experience a deeply satisfying and fulfilling life without a personal commitment to contributing to others in positive ways.

Happiness is the byproduct of giving from the heart

We can expect to experience a powerful internal transformation once we embrace the role of a contributor.  It automatically initiates a quantum shift in our values and beliefs.  Our perception of what is important in life takes on a new dimension and our concept of reality begins to expand around the desire to help others.

A willingness to contribute should always be fueled by an unselfish desire to give without any thought of getting something in return.  Even so, those you help will often express gratitude.  Once your heart is touched by the grateful appreciation of another, you will be hooked on giving.  The experience of receiving on that level expands your heart and changes your sense of identity. In some very tangible and amazing ways, giving is truly a gift.

Are you in touch with your inner philanthropist?
Has the gift of a smile ever touched your heart?
The lines are open!

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Do you want to be happy and successful? The answer is obvious, we all want those things. In addition, we would also like to feel loved, appreciated, and valued. We all have the same basic human needs and the desire to feel fulfilled in these areas is a normal part of our emotional makeup.

Most of the articles I write focus on practical strategies for creating positive changes in your life because I want to help you fill those important basic needs so that you can enjoy a higher quality of life. But there is another vital aspect to living a happy, healthy, and successful life that is often overlooked. In fact, this is so vitally important that if you leave out this one thing, those other strategies probably won’t do you much good. Any idea what I am talking about?

You must get permission first

I know it sounds strange, but it really is true. Before you can be truly happy or feel deeply loved and appreciated, you need to get permission. Otherwise, you might end up feeling unsuccessful or unloved even in the presence of love and success.

How could this be?

We all have an internal system of emotional checks and balances. This system is influenced by our response to different life experiences and is calibrated according to what we think we deserve. If our system is calibrated too low, we will start to feel out of balance whenever we begin to experience success in any area of life. This is because internally we will sense that we don’t actually deserve it, and this will cause a very subtle emotional conflict.

Recalibrate your system of emotional checks and balances

Self-sabotaging behavior is one of the ways that internal conflict seeks to right itself and restore balance. Another way is by denying any evidence that we are receiving something that we don’t deserve.

This means that we will either adjust our actions to undermine whatever success we have created, or we will simply refuse to acknowledge it. The only positive way out of this negative feedback loop is to recalibrate the whole system. But remember, this internal system of checks and balances is emotional, not logical. So, how do we bypass the conflicting feelings and dial up what we think we deserve?

Give yourself permission to live an exceptional life

The permission to be happy, healthy, successful, loved, appreciated, and valued can only come from one source. It must come from you! It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you are capable of or deserve. It only matters what you can convince yourself to believe.

By giving yourself permission to fill your most basic human needs abundantly, you can completely override your system of checks and balances. You don’t need to feel that you deserve happiness; you just need your own permission to fully experience it. There is no reason to make happiness, love or success conditional. You don’t need to measure up to some self-imposed standard so that you feel like you deserve it. All you need is your own permission!

Replace deserve with willingness to accept

If I offered you a million dollars, what would you do? Would you refuse my gift on the basis that you didn’t do anything to earn it, or would you gladly accept it? I am pretty sure you would accept it whether you felt like you did something to earn it or not.

Why should happiness be any different? You can’t earn happiness, but you can give yourself permission to accept happiness into your life. If you want to feel loved, appreciated, and valued, start by feeling that way about yourself. Then give yourself permission to be willing to accept those feelings from others.

Uphold your standards, but let go of conditional living

I am not saying that we shouldn’t strive to be the best possible version of ourselves because I believe that we should. What I am saying is that we should not withhold the fulfillment of our most basic human needs until we feel like we have earned them.

You already deserve to be happy and successful. You also deserve to feel loved, appreciated, and valued. But you won’t fully experience any of those wonderful feelings until you give yourself permission to accept them into your life.

Have you been trying to earn happiness?
Are you willing to let go of what you think you deserve?
The lines are open!

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Learning how to let go of conditional living and give yourself permission to feel happy, successful, and loved is just one of the ways that one-on-one coaching can help transform the quality of your life. Breakthrough Strategy Coaching

What if I said that conventional thinking is at best only a beginning, and often just leads to a dead end?

Not only that, but what if I also said that it has a way of limiting our beliefs and closing our minds to the possibility of living an extraordinary life of true happiness.

Why would I say such a thing?

Because conventional thinking is based on widely accepted assumptions which may, or may not, be true. Either way, these assumptions are designed to channel you into the vast sea of normality. In fact, conventional thinking is custom tailored to make you normal.

What’s wrong with normal?

Well, there’s nothing wrong with normal if that’s what you want. But before you rally to the defense of normal, let’s stop and consider what normal really means these days. For example: Do you want a normal marriage? If so, then that means you are willing to accept a 50-50 chance that your marriage will end in divorce. That’s normal.

Do you want the normal amount of happiness? Well, that means there is about a one in three chance that you will wind up with depression, anxiety, or some other kind of happiness disorder. Are you okay with those odds?

How about a normal income? Keep in mind that there are plenty of people with a “normal income” who have lost their homes in the last few years because they can’t afford to pay their bills. Do you want to work full time and still not have enough money to live on? Sadly, that’s a pretty normal scenario.

Is that really what you want?

The socially acceptable concept of normal is built entirely on a foundation of conventional thinking. To truly think and live outside the box, we need to recognize who built the box in the first place. We need to acknowledge that doing things, and thinking about things, the same way everybody else does will not lead to happiness or help us achieve our dreams.

I want to encourage you to stop and consider some of the ways that conventional thinking actually limits your life and your happiness. But first, you need to recognize that conventional thinking is based on a certain kind of belief system. And this belief system has been instilled in us from a very young age.

That being the case, it’s perfectly understandable that challenging our accepted conventional wisdom, and the corresponding beliefs, might feel a little uncomfortable at first. After all, our long held beliefs are all tied up with our personal identity. On an emotional level, they are almost sacred. So, here’s what I propose…

Let’s do it anyway!

Regardless of our emotional investment in our current beliefs, and our acceptance of conventional thinking, if they are limiting us, then we need to look elsewhere. If they don’t lead to greater happiness then we need to find out what does. Let’s consider a few foundational myths and see if what we have been taught is really serving us.

Myth #1. The key to happiness is a good education. The implication here is that a good education will lead to a higher income, a more rewarding life experience, and ultimately, greater happiness. Well, it can lead to a higher income in some cases, so that part might be true. And if by “more rewarding life” we mean materially rewarding, then there could be some truth here as well.

We also need to admit that income and material possessions have very little to do with happiness. I have worked with plenty of unhappy rich people, and more money did not lead to greater happiness. In addition, there are tens of thousands of highly educated and qualified people looking for employment these days.

Now here are a couple of real myth busters. Of the truly happy people on earth, most are of modest means, living a simple life, and finding happiness in simple pleasures. On the flip side, the richest people I know are not highly educated in the conventional ways. They are very smart, but their learning took place off campus, in the real world.

Myth #2. Other people can make you happy. This one is instilled in us rather than taught to us, but it finds its way to our core beliefs none the less. I’m not saying that we can’t gain a lot of happiness through meaningful relationships, because we can. But in those situations we make a choice, conscious or otherwise, to find happiness in the value of those relationships. The other people don’t make us happy, we actually do that ourselves.

Believing the childhood fairytale of “grow up, meet the right person, and live happily ever after” creates totally unrealistic expectations. It anchors happiness to an external source and puts it out of our control. Buying into that myth sets us up for massive disappointment and heartache.

If we don’t take responsibility for our own happiness, we will never be truly happy. Instead, we will always be looking for that perfect someone to be responsible for our happiness. Not only is that unrealistic, but it’s also an unfair burden to put on someone else. Especially, someone you truly care about.

Myth #3. You have limits. Getting past this one requires a complete paradigm shift for most people. The concept of “I can’t” is the epitome of conventional thinking and the granddaddy of limiting beliefs. I’m here to tell you that 99% of all your limits are in your mind. We cut our teeth on the “you have limits” myth and it becomes the backbone of our entire core belief system.

Do you want to know why so few people ever realize even a tiny degree of their real potential? Why so many never experience true happiness, or find real meaning in life? Why you hesitate to reach out and grab the life you truly want?

The reason is simple. A very long time ago someone told you that “you can’t,” and you believed it. From that point on, conventional thinking has been reinforcing that belief. Here’s what I say to that.

Yes you can

Repeat after me, Yes I can. Yes, I can be happy. Yes, I can have the life I want. Yes, I can live up to my potential. Yes, I can absolutely accomplish whatever I set out to do.

How did that feel? Was it a little uncomfortable? Was the voice of your limiting beliefs saying “no you can’t” in the background? That’s the voice of conventional thinking calling you to step away from possibility and opportunity. That voice needs to be silenced, and I want to help.

A new focus for Advanced Life Skills

I have decided to adopt a new cause and to shift the focus of this blog slightly. I want to help you think outside the bounds of conventional wisdom. In other words, outside the box. The box was created by conventional wisdom and something more is needed to go beyond it.

Reaching your true potential requires a different kind of wisdom. It means developing a completely different concept about what is possible and a whole new attitude about life in general. It also requires a different set of life skills in order to produce a higher quality of results. That is exactly what I want to explore with you.

How do you feel about breaking the bonds of conventional thinking?
Can you solved a problem using the same logic that created it?
The lines are open!

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When you are busy working toward a long term goal do you find it difficult to maintain your focus? Does it seem like your life requires you to play so many different roles that it is almost impossible to stay focused on any one project for very long?

When our attention gets spread too thin it can be challenging to stay motivated over the long run. Projects that we are passionate about keep getting shoved into the background and end up taking much, much longer that we thought they would.

How can we maintain our enthusiasm and keep our focus with so many distractions? What steps can we take to regain some control of our schedule? How can we bring a greater sense of joy into our daily routine?

11 tips for getting more enjoyment out of every day

1. Value simplicity. The simpler things are the less distracted we will be. This means we need to de-clutter our environment and our minds.  For some reason we seem to accumulate physical, mental, and emotional clutter. So we end up rushing from one demanding situation to another with no real feeling of accomplishment. To quiet our minds and restore a sense of order to our lives we need to value simplicity.

2. Experience your activities. How often are you doing one thing and thinking about another? How can we find enjoyment in anything if our focus is somewhere else? If we never take the time to actually be in the moment then can we say that we are really living our life? Even the most mundane activities can be enjoyable if we stay centered on the actual experience. In this over stimulated, out of balance and hectic world, simple activities fully experienced can be enjoyable if we let them.

3. Savor the little things. The next time you eat a piece of fruit or enjoy a cup of coffee or tea, simply enjoy it. Wrap your senses around it and savor the experience. When we gulp down our food and rush off to whatever comes next, we are actually robbing ourselves of pleasure. Our senses of smell and taste are connected to our brains pleasure center. When you savor what goes into your body you tend to eat less and enjoy it more.

4. Add variety to your routine. Don’t be afraid to try something new. It could be something as simple as taking a different route to get to work or as complex as learning to play a musical instrument. Instead of turning on the television  after dinner, try going for a walk in the evening air. Right now is an excellent time to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but have never gotten around to because someday may never come.

5. Make time for what you love. If all we ever did was work on and attend to our obligations it could become difficult to keep finding joy in our day-to-day experience. It’s important to take care of our responsibilities, but we should also try to balance the “need to do” activities with a few things we really want to do. If we never make the time to do things we are excited about, we could easily start resenting our lives. That’s why it is important to make time every day for the things we really enjoy.

6. Drop unnecessary commitments. Just as we need to make time for doing things we love, we also need to work toward minimizing the things that just consume time and energy with no real payoff. Granted, some things simply aren’t negotiable, but other so-called obligations aren’t really necessary. For each commitment ask yourself if this is something that’s really adding to your life. Is it enhancing your life, or is it just adding more stress? If it doesn’t add any positive benefit, drop it.

7. Focus on what matters. There is productivity and there is busy work. Sometimes it can be difficult to recognize the difference because it varies for each of us. Here’s an example: For someone whose livelihood comes from social media marketing, spending time on sites like Twitter and Facebook might represent productivity. For others however, anything more than 5-10 minutes on those sites might just be a distraction from what really matters. It’s up to each of us to analyze our own situation and apportion our time accordingly.

8. Learn to just let go. When it comes to relaxation the body follows the mind. If your mind is busy obsessing over all the things that didn’t get done today, then you are not relaxed. Your body can only experience relaxation if your mind has let go of anything and everything that causes stress, worry, or anxiety. You will enjoy your life a lot more if you take some time every day to practice letting go.

9. Embrace generosity. There are almost endless opportunities to contribute to the lives of others. Any act of kindness is an act of generosity. Smile at strangers, hold the door open for the person behind you, listen while someone else is talking, and be respectful. These simple acts of kindness don’t cost you anything, but they add enjoyment to your life and the lives of those around you.

10. Do a daily gratitude review. Focusing on gratitude will change your life on every level. It is so easy to get caught up in selfish pursuits and forget how much there is to be grateful for. Gratitude is the antidote for selfishness. If you take a minute every morning and every evening to review your blessings, you will start to notice more and more things to be grateful for. Of all the ways to get more enjoyment out of every day, this is the simplest and the most powerful. If you only put one thing from this list into action in your life, this should be it.

11. Examine your priorities. Life is an ever changing experience and that means that we need to reevaluate our priorities on a regular basis. Make sure you know what is truly important to you, and why. Give your top priorities first place in your life or they will get swallowed up by everything else. Everyone you know probably has an opinion about what should be important to you. Keep in mind that this is your life and you need to set your own priorities. Choose wisely and you too will find enjoyment in your every day life.

Did any of these points resonate with you?
Do you have a special tip for more daily enjoyment?
The lines are open!

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Productivity is a good thing, right? The sense of accomplishment can certainly be a genuine source of joy and satisfaction. Sometimes though, we forget why we are striving to be more productive.

Isn’t greater happiness the reason behind increased productivity? Don’t we convince ourselves that getting more done will finally give us the time for things we truly enjoy? Our pursuit of increased productivity, should result in increased happiness right?

The trap we need to be aware of

Striving to be more productive and increase our efficiency can lead to obsession. We could wind up confusing achievement for happiness. Happiness should be the inspiration for achievement, not the other way around

When our happiness is too wrapped up in achievement, we are putting our happiness in the future. We are denying ourselves the right to be happy until we meet certain conditions.

Have you ever said this?

“I’ll be really happy just as soon as:

- I get out of debt.
- Solve this one problem.
- Lose 5 more pounds.
- Find the right partner.
- Land the perfect job.

There’s nothing wrong with being more productive. But when our happiness depends on it, then we have a problem.

The productivity trap

We strive to be more productive and efficient so we can get more done. Originally, our reason is to have more free time and reduce our stress levels. We reason that once we get everything done, we won’t have to think about it anymore, right?

But if we’re not careful, we may allow our desire to accomplish more to become an obsession. We may become so obsessed with producing that we are not even satisfied with the results. Why? Because, by the time we get there, we’re already focused on what comes next.

Don’t put conditions on happiness

That’s why we need to have the courage to re-evaluate and re-prioritize our goals along the way. Our lives are ever changing, not static. We need to be able to make adjustments along the way. A goal that served you well last year might be out of harmony with your life now.

It is vital that we maintain an awareness of who we are in the moment and were we really want to be tomorrow. Do not fear change because it is a natural part of growth. And don’t convince yourself that more, more, more is the path to happiness. Allow yourself to be happy right now!

Have you ever been a victim of this trap?
Are you ever tempted to link happiness to productivity?

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Are you happy with your life the way it is?  Overall, can you say you’re truly happy?  If not, do you know why? Could it possibly be because you haven’t made the choice to be happy?

When we think of being successful, we imagine that happiness is an inevitable side effect.  We may envision ourselves with the perfect job, the perfect mate, the perfect children, the perfect level of income, the perfect home, the perfect car, etc.  And we believe that all of that stuff will make us happy.

Realistic expectations

However, that view is skewed.  Material objects and other people cannot make us happy – only we can make ourselves happy.  And it all begins with a choice to be happy.

Maybe you have a hard time believing that, especially if you are experiencing challenges or lack in your life right now.  But think about this:  why do rich people still experience unhappiness?  Why do successful people still experience unhappiness?  Because money and success do not automatically create happiness!

Neither do power, status, romance, or material objects.  We simply believe they do because we are looking outside of ourselves for the solution to our problems.

Let go of the money = happiness link

Intellectually, we may know that money can’t buy happiness, but some part of us still believes that we’d feel better if we were rich.  Yet when we really look at wealthy people, we must wonder if they are any happier than the average person.

Do wealthy people laugh more, experience more joy, or have greater fulfillment in their lives?  Perhaps some do – but how much of it is a direct result of their wealth?

Wealth has it’s own challenges

Believe it or not, some people seem to grow less satisfied the wealthier they become!  Perhaps they were under the misconception that money would solve all their problems and now they are finding out it doesn’t work that way.

Having a large amount of money can create a whole new set of challenges.  I’m sure you’ve heard the horror stories about people who win the lottery or come into a large fortune through an inheritance or other means.  Many of them experience a few years of heartache and struggle, and end up flat broke again.  Money didn’t solve their problems – it only made them worse!

Choose happiness

Another reason why wealth can make us miserable is that it distracts us from what is truly important for a happy and fulfilling life.  We find ourselves focusing more and more on material objects and end up feeling disconnected from our inner selves.

If you are feeling unhappy in your life right now and you’re thinking that money will solve your problems, it’s time for a reality check.

Don’t get me wrong. I like money as much as the next guy and having a material abundance can certainly make our lives easier. But money is not the key to happiness and lack of it is not a legitimate reason to feel unhappy. Being happy is a choice you can make right now and it doesn’t cost you a dime. You are the key to your own happiness and no amount of money will change that.

Have you noticed how fast materialistic based happiness fades?
Has the pursuit of wealth ever resulted in lasting happiness?
The lines are open!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to be kind and loving in favorable situations? But, how many times have you reacted in a not so loving way when you were caught off guard?

You know what I mean, a challenging day; too much of everything aimed straight at you. Then it happens, someone says or does the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time, and you rediscover a side of yourself that you thought was long gone.

Maybe it wasn’t even obvious to those around you. It might have been just a feeling you had, or an unkind thought. However it managed to manifest itself, one thing is certain, it didn’t feel good. Such experiences can also leave us feeling more than a little disappointed with ourselves.

Stress has a way of sneaking up on us and it can happen so subtly that it goes completely unnoticed, for awhile anyway. It just sits there gathering strength without any visible signs, until the wrong button gets pushed.

Hey, we’re all human and life does have its challenges

But what if we could find a way to sustain a positive, loving attitude even under trying circumstances? Wouldn’t that make a sizable contribution to our overall happiness level? How pleased would we feel with ourselves if the people or situations that used to get under our skin didn’t bother us anymore?

The fact is, when we allow ourselves to manifest negative feelings it disrupts our sense of peace and harmony. It’s pretty hard to be upset and feel happy at the same time. So really, it’s to our personal benefit to find ways of cultivating a kind and loving attitude as much of the time as possible because it contributes to our true happiness.

Here’s how it works

Being kind and loving comes from being in a positive and generous state. Feeling positive and generous is the same as being in a state of abundance, and feeling abundant gives us a sense of true happiness. So our personal sense of happiness is directly related to how we feel toward others. Abundance is also a state of resourcefulness, and when we are resourceful we are in a much better position to deal with challenges.

But how can we get to the point where we feel that way?

We are all human and life certainly has its moments, but let’s look at how choice is involved. Let’s start with someone way down near the bottom on our list of favorite people. Maybe it’s someone who just bugs us for some reason and we have never really analyzed why we feel that way. Can we love them? Nobody said we have to love what they do or what they say. The question is, can we love them as a fellow human being?

Why do we have to love them?

Remember, it’s the smart thing to do. Our sense of true happiness is directly involved. Are you thinking, okay, maybe I can have a more positive attitude toward them, but no way can I love them?

See what that was? It was a conscious decision to be unloving, to harbor unloving feelings. Wasn’t that what just happened? If we are honest about it we see that it was also a personal decision to be negative rather than positive. It was a choice!

It was a choice to be limited instead of empowered

When we make a decision like that, we might think we are only projecting negative energy toward that one person. But where does that negative energy originate?

If it comes from us, then the negative energy is in us. It lives in the person who is saying or thinking non-loving things. When we express non-loving feelings toward anyone or anything, our mind likes to justify it by concluding that we are giving them exactly what they deserve. That means that we are judging them. Not just their actions, but we are judging them as a person.

When we discriminate and judge, we actually undermine our own sense of humanity. The key to avoiding this tendency is to disassociate the human being from the questionable course of action. Disapproving of their actions is one thing, judging them as a person is another. Ask yourself this:

Have I ever benefited from being non-loving?

Negativity is only destructive and limiting, nothing good can come from it. Why would we ever choose it over empowerment and abundance? Remember, we always have a choice.

We can’t have it both ways. If we want to be happy, we cannot be loving toward those people we think deserve it, and hateful toward those we have judged otherwise. Doing so only leads to feeling joyful occasionally, while feeling miserable or angry much of the time.

This path can never lead to true happiness because we are allowing our sense of joy to be dictated by the behavior of those around us. Don’t let yourself fall into this trap. Don’t make your happiness dependent on the people around you. Make a choice to be happy, make the loving choice.

Do you believe that happiness involves choice?
Have you experienced joy from making loving choices?
The lines are open!

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Why do we set goals and then take action to achieve them? For that matter, why do we want meaningful friendships, more money, nicer surroundings, or anything else that people commonly pursue? What is the underlying desire that drives us to do almost everything in life?

Simple really, everyone person on the planet wants the same thing, to be happy. Isn’t that what it all comes down to? We all want to enjoy our life and our relationships. We want our efforts to feel worthwhile and the results of those efforts to bring a sense of satisfaction.

We want to feel good about our life every single day without being stressed out or worried about tomorrow. We just want to be happy, right?

In the pursuit of happiness

In an effort to find true happiness people have tried everything from altered states to the pursuit of massive wealth and power. From one end of the planet to the other, people have experimented with every conceivable type of lifestyle, relationship, economic status, eating regimen, exercise routine, philosophy and belief.

Advertisers have leveraged our innate desire for happiness and attached it to every product imaginable. We’ve all heard the expression “sex sells,” right? Well, the reason that sex sells is because on a very basic level it is linked to our desire to be happy. The same thing is true of whiter teeth, a leaner body, newer car, and anything else they want to sell. The message behind all advertising is always the same, “buy this, it will make you happy.”

Chasing the illusion

All of the things I’ve mentioned so far are built on the same illusion. They all have us looking for happiness from external sources. Granted, most of these things can add to our sense of joy, but they are not now, nor will they ever be, the source of happiness.

If being happy was based on money, position, relationships or possessions, then the rich and powerful would be the happiest people on earth, and nobody involved in a meaningful relationship would ever be unhappy. Clearly, this is not the case.

There is no marketable form of happiness

Happy people are all different.  They don’t look the same or own the same things. They have different levels of education and income. They also have different lifestyles, types of employment, skills, eating habits, exercise routines, philosophies and beliefs. If you search for some common denominator in these areas, you won’t find one.

There is however something that all happy people have in common and it is probably the single most overlooked key to happiness. I call it…

The get happy now secret

So, what is this get happy secret that allows people who differ in every obvious way to find that elusive quality while others pursue it in vain? They have all made a decision to be happy. It’s that simple. They chose happiness!

Does this mean that once they’ve made the choice that nothing bad ever happens in their lives?  Of course not, but they don’t let those things rob them of their inner joy. Making the decision to be happy also means that you accept full responsibility for your own happiness. When your happiness doesn’t depend on external forces, then those forces can’t take it away from you.

The effect on your world

Deciding to be happy causes a noticeable shift in our dominant energy. This shift affects us in a couple of profound ways. For one thing, it changes our perception of the world around us. Our focus gravitates to the positive side and we begin to notice even more reasons to feel happy and grateful.

Happy, positive people also attract others with a similar focus. This means that it is easier to stay positive because the people around us will tend to support and contribute to our positive outlook.

Instead of chasing it, start embracing it

Why not make up your mind to embrace happiness, starting right now. Go ahead and make a decision to be happy. Let your personal identity get all wrapped up in the concept of  being a happy person. Fold it around yourself like a big, comfortable blanket.

If you look for reasons to be happy and grateful, you will quickly realize that they have been there all along. You don’t need special circumstances, training, lots of money or anything else to make you happy. All you need to do is choose to BE HAPPY from now on and your life will start to amaze you. There really is no reason you can’t start down this road right now, today. Stop chasing happiness and start embracing it.

Have you made the decision to be happy?
Do you recognize the happy lady in the photo?
The lines are open!

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