All of us are very busy creating our personal reality. Creativity is a full-time job and we are all quite good at it. Problem is, most of the time we do this unconsciously. That means that there’s a strong likelihood we use our energy to manifest things we don’t really want.

Because creativity is part of our nature we are usually not consciously aware of our role in the creative process. There is a natural tendency to resist the idea that we are the ones creating it. This is especially true when we manifest a reality that we don’t really like.

Until we are ready to acknowledge the role our personal creativity plays in our own reality we will probably continue to manifest results we would rather avoid.

Avoidance and the power of negative focus

We’ve talked many times about using the power of focus to help us accomplish our goals. But without direction, focus can actually cause us to manifest the very things we’re trying to avoid. In fact, an avoidance mindset can program us to use our creativity to continually produce the exact things we don’t want.

Here’s what happens when we try to avoid something. Let’s say it’s a cold winter day and there’s ice on the walkway. Obviously, you don’t want to slip on the ice and fall down. So, as you go out the door you think to yourself: “Be careful, don’t slip on the ice.”

What happens next?

Your mind cannot process the thought “don’t slip on the ice” without visualizing you slipping on the ice. What have you just done? You’ve just used your creativity to form a mental image of yourself slipping on the ice, and now that’s what you are focused on. The slicker the walkway, the more you will focus on that mental image.

Can you see where this is leading? You’re walking down a slippery path and your mind is focused on an image of you slipping and falling. The harder you focus, the more likely you are to slip and fall. In this case, you’ ae using the power of focus to manifest the very situation you are trying to avoid.

Negative target fixation

Target fixation is a process by which the brain becomes locked onto an observed object. In an avoidance scenario, the observer can become so fixated on the target that they will forget to take the necessary action to avoid it, and end up colliding with the object.

This is a common issue for motorcyclists and mountain bikers. A motorcycle or bicycle will go where the rider is looking. When the rider has his attention fixated on an obstacle he wants to avoid, he greatly increases the chances of a collision. That’s the power of focus.

The same thing can happen when you visualize a situation you are trying to avoid. The harder you focus on it, the greater the likelihood that you will manifest it. Focusing on the avoidance of a negative outcome actually increases the likelihood of that outcome.

Reprogramming our response

Understanding the human tendency to adopt an avoidance mindset affords us the power to overcome negative target fixation. Once we recognize that we are subconsciously programmed to focus on things we want to avoid, we can change our response.

To accomplish this, it’s important to acknowledge the role of external input on our focus. If we constantly expose ourselves to negative propaganda, such as the nightly news, it’s going to influence the direction of our focus.

If the talking heads are trying to convince us that we’re going to catch the next swine flu, lose our homes, or become a victim of identity theft, what kind of outcomes are we going to visualize? The fastest way to direct our creativity toward a negative reality is to focus on negative things. Need proof? Just look at how many people manage to manifest  the exact reality they see on the nightly news.

What are you focusing on?

One of the things that reveals what we are focused on is our speech. Do you tend to talk about problems, or opportunities? Do you contribute to negative conversations, or do you endeavor to shift the conversation in a more positive direction?

Is your conversation encouraging, or discouraging? Do you talk about what’s wrong with your life, or do you share the things you’re grateful for? Do you have a complaining spirit, or do you look for the positive aspect of any situation?

Most of us like to think of ourselves as having a positive outlook. If that’s true, then it will be reflected in our conversations. So I encourage you to take a close look at your favorite topics for discussion, and see if there’s any room for adjustment. We tend to talk about the things that we are focused on.

Avoid avoidance (how’s that for an oxymoron?)

How do we avoid focusing on negative possibilities? We need to look past them and see our desired outcome. When a motorcyclists wants to avoid an obstacle, instead of getting trapped in negative target fixation he needs to look past that obstacle. He needs to focus on where he wants to be, not where he doesn’t want to be.

We can do the same thing! If we’re trying to get from our front door to the car over an slippery walkway, focus on the car instead of the walkway. If money is tight and bills are piling up, focus on income, not the possibility of poverty. If you want to feel good about your life, focus on the things you are grateful for instead of your problems.

Accept your creative role in your personal reality

If you don’t like the reality you have been creating you can change it. But to do that, you first need to accept your role in the creative process. You need to take responsibility for the reality you manifest. Once you do that you will empower yourself to create the life you really want.

Don’t become a victim of negative target fixation. Don’t allow external influences to poison your mind with negative propaganda. Focus your creativity on where you want to be and fully accept your role in what you manifest. Then get ready to be amazed as the doors of possibility swing open and your life takes on a whole new dimension.

Do you feel like the creator of your reality?
Are you creating what you want, or don’t want?
Have you ever struggled with negative target fixation?
The lines are open!

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We all know that goals are fundamental to the accomplishment of things large and small. Every super achiever has the ability to set and follow through on their goals. But, have you ever wondered what is actually behind the proven power of goals?

Whenever a success strategy has a proven track record for producing results, it can be advantageous to understand why. Once we identify where the power comes from, we immediately gain a greater appreciation for the value of each step involved. In addition, that understanding can help us to produce our desired results more consistently.

The 3 part power source of goals

1. The focus factor. One of the primary reasons that goals work so well is because they provide a clearly defined target on which to focus our energy. With enough focus the human mind has the astounding ability to accomplish almost anything it sets out to achieve. However, without a clearly defined target that ability to focus is too diffused to generate the necessary energy.

Goals work to focus our energies in the same way that a magnifying glass can capture sunlight and turn it into enough energy to start a fire. Anyone who has played with a magnifying glass quickly understands the principles of focused energy. When the diffused light hitting that glass is concentrated into a very small area, it generates enormous power. The same thing happens when a portion of the diffused energy you expend is concentrated toward the achievement of a clearly defined goal.

2. The visualization factor. Having crystal clear goals also allows us to utilize power of visualization and unleash significantly more energy than what is available from goal-setting alone. This is because when we visualize we are able to recruit some of the resources of our subconscious mind. The key factor here is the fact that while our conscious mind can discern the difference between an actual experience and one that we visualize, the subconscious mind cannot.

A visualized event has the ability to program our nervous system because it is seen and felt in the subconscious as though it is actually happening. So, even though the visualized experience is imagined, neurologically there is an experiential form of seeing, feeling and knowing being created. This registers as an actual memory that fosters a sense of confidence based on the perception that we have already successfully accomplished our goal. That’s the power of visualization!

3. The believe factor. During a masters golf tournament, Phil Mickelson was trailing by three strokes with only six holes left to play. He had to sink this very difficult putt if he was going to have any chance of winning. In his own words, Phil “kept seeing and believing that things would work out for him that day.” And they did. He sank the putt, birdied another and then sank an improbable 20-footer on the 18^th hole to win by one stroke.

How could he continue to believe in himself even when he was falling behind? It’s important to note that his winning belief was not a function of experience. Mickelson had the undesirable distinction of playing in 48 major tournaments and never winning any of them. At that time he was known for being the best golfer in the world never to have won a major golf tournament. But Mickelson had mentally rehearsed winning this tournament so many times that he came to truly believe that he would win. It was that unshakable belief coupled with his intense focus that led him to victory.

Focus + Visualization + Belief = Success

Your assignment this week: Imagine that you are achieving a goal and celebrating how it feels. Do this 30 times a day over the next seven days. To your conscious mind, you may just be imagining something that might never happen. But to the part of you that controls your astounding ability to achieve almost anything, it actually did happen. In fact, it happened over 200 times!

When the pressure is on and you really need to come through, it is your ability to focus and the visualization based belief within you that will take over and lead you to success. Your conscious mind may have doubts, but your nervous system will be preprogrammed to do what it has already done more than 200 times before and your reality will rearrange itself accordingly.

Which of these 3 factors is your favorite?
What are you programming yourself to achieve?
The lines are open!

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How good are you at focusing your time and attention toward things that really matter?  In a world full of constant distractions, how often do you find yourself struggling to maintain your focus on the things that are truly important to you personally?

The connection between what we choose to focus on and our current reality is often misunderstood. Increasingly, productivity is being replaced by busy work and as a result feelings of frustration are overtaking our sense of accomplishment.  Learning to purposely direct your focus will make it possible to reverse this trend.

Focusing on priorities while avoiding distractions

Understanding how our mind uses focus to direct our attention gives us the ability to create a less frustrating and more targeted living experience. We control our perception of reality by controlling what we focus on. This is because focus brings one thing to the center of our attention while deemphasizing everything else.

When we focus on our priorities it also helps us to block out distractions. The less focused we are the more susceptible we become to every little distraction that comes along. And let’s face it; winning the battle against distractions is getting more challenging by the day.

Are you in command of your life’s priorities?

Many people have never actually taken the time to discover what is truly important to them. All through life our priorities are influenced by other people’s advice and expectations.  As a result, much of what we do in life is a reflection of those outside influences. And once life becomes a routine, there is a tendency to just keep doing what we have always done without giving it much thought.

Over time our mind and our nervous system gets programmed through repetition. This causes us to continue to pay attention to the things we have always paid attention to. Eventually we can find ourselves in a rut and running on autopilot. The problem with this approach is that life is constantly changing. If we just keep following our old routine, we could easily spend years putting our focus in a direction that does not reflect our true self.

Aligning our priorities with our true self

Before we can establish priorities that truly represent our core self, we need to take the time to discover who we really are. To do this requires that we step outside the programming of those external influences and connect with our deepest values, passions, and motives. But how do we do that?

As important as connecting with our true self is, it is not something that most people are taught through conventional channels. Consequently, it’s a process that many struggle with. In fact, recognizing this need is what moved me to lay it all out in a step-by-step format in my book TRUE SELF. Only when we discover who we are on the deepest levels can we succeed in directing our focus toward the truly important things in life.

Putting it all together

So, just to be clear, let’s look at how focus helps us create a more meaningful reality. Whatever we focus on the most will eventually manifest in our life, but that will only be meaningful if it is in harmony with our true self. Because we have been influenced by external feedback all our lives, our concept of true self is skewed toward the strongest or most unrelenting of those external influences. On top of that the constant barrage of distractions we are exposed to on a daily basis further clouds our perception of who we really are.

Having the right priorities in life is how you buy out the time and energy to put your focus where it will do the most good. For those priorities to be right for you as an individual, you must take the time to discover your true self. Then you are in the position to align your priorities and to focus on the thoughts and activities that lead to a more fulfilling life experience.

Unleash the power of focus

Focus is a very powerful tool, especially when it is used in a way that aligns with and supports your authentic self. I encourage you to take the time to discover your unique inner person. Before you can harmonize your life and the amazing power of focus you need to distinguish the person you truly are from your response to outside influences and expectations.

How do you deal with distractions?
Are you finding it challenging to keep your focus?
Do you feel truly connected to your true self?

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

There are a couple of things that I’d like to clarify regarding our emotional desire to seek pleasure and avoid pain.  It’s not the actual pain or pleasure that drives us, it is really something else. Any idea what that is?

Our desire to avoid pain is really based on fear. What fear? The fear of taking any action that feels like it might lead to pain.

Likewise, it’s not the actual pleasure that motivates us to take action, but our belief that a certain action will lead to a pleasurable experience. So, our movement in either direction is a response to our perception of where that action will lead.

The power of anticipation and anxiety

Have you ever noticed that the anticipation of the pain we think might result from a certain action is generally much worse than the actual experience?  Here’s an example, if you’ve ever done any public speaking it’s usually the 10 or 15 minutes just before you get on stage that creates the greatest anxiety.

You may experience all kinds of symptoms like an increased heart rate, a rise in body temperature and a nauseous feeling in your stomach.  At this point are any of these symptoms the result of actual public speaking? No, they are caused by your estimation of what the experience will be like, not by the actual activity.

Speaking from my own personal experiences and those of other public speakers that I know, everyone agrees that the anxiety that comes before hand generally vanishes as soon as they begin speaking.  Anxiety of course, is a form of fear.

Where does the fear come from?

There are so many different kinds of fear that it is impossible to label them all, but it is possible to identify where they all come from. The reason we can do that is because fear is always related to one or more of these three primary human desires.

1) A desire for approval
2) A desire for control
3) A desire to feel secure

If you examine any fear, whether it’s the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of loss, you will discover that, on an emotional level, it represents a perceived threat to our sense of approval, sense of control, or sense of security.

Fear grows or shrinks with focus

Take the example of our public speaker.  Once he gets on stage and focuses on his topic, he can settle down and enjoy the experience.  But during the 10 to 15 minutes before he gets on stage, he is not thinking about his topic, instead he is focused on himself.  He is wondering if he’ll have the approval of his audience, if he’ll have control of his voice and body language, and the anxiety is making him feel insecure.

The solution is to focus on the outcome, the feeling of satisfaction and approval that will come from a job well done.  By visualizing a pleasurable outcome there is a complete shift the focus.  Excitement replaces anxiety and the expectation of pleasure replaces fear.  Moving toward a pleasurable outcome is a pleasurable experience so it is one we can look forward to.

Choosing less pain and more pleasure

Now we can see that one way to avoid pain and move toward pleasure is simply to change our focus.  In our example, a short-term focus created pain in the form of fear and anxiety, while a long-term focus turned the whole experience into a pleasurable one.

Once we understand the relationship between focus and pain or pleasure, we can easily change our perception of any experience.  By controlling your focus you give yourself the ability to decide whether an experience will be painful or pleasurable. Then you can choose pleasure over pain.

Can you think of time when…
~ The anxiety was worse than the reality?
~ The anticipation was better than the reality?
~ The reality never happened and the fear was for nothing?
The lines are open!

This is part 2 in a 3 part series of articles dealing with pain and pleasure paradigms.  If it seems like I started in the middle of the story, check out…
Part 1: The Power of Pain and Pleasure Paradigms
Part 3: Creating Your own Pain and Pleasure Paradigms

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

Would you like to rearrange your current reality? Do you feel like you are ready to begin creating your life by design and manifesting the things you truly desire? If so, then I would like to share six simple steps that you can begin taking right now to help you improve your life.

1. Focus on what you intend to manifest. Quit focusing on what is missing from your life. This includes what you don’t want to see happen. As soon as you become aware that you are focusing on what you don’t have, choose a different thought. Shift your focus to what you intend to attract and manifest in your life. Put yourself in a state of receiving and accepting and move away from the state of lacking or wanting.

2. Stop struggling. If you find yourself viewing your present circumstances as the reason why you can’t have what you want, stop thinking that way. Whatever difficulties you are currently facing, know they are only temporary and will last only as long as you continue to give them your attention. You attract what you focus on so move your focus away from your current difficulties and end the struggle.

3. Live in the here and now. Focusing on the past will just program you for more of the same. If you find yourself thinking about how things have always been, change your focus! If you keep doing things the same old way, you will keep getting the same old results. What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results! Focus on the present; learn to live in the here and now.

4. Quit telling the same old stories. Stop sharing your worn out tales of woe with others. When you quit telling your dramatic story, you won’t have to live up to those stories anymore. Replaying those stories is the same as reliving them. It’s impossible to move forward when you’re always looking backward.

5. Do it for YOU! Don’t worry about what others expect of you, or think is best for you. Everyone has an opinion on how you should live your life. When you feel pressure to live up to someone else’s expectations, stop and consider whether or not their expectations are in harmony with yours, if not, do what’s best for you. You are creating your own life and you need to live accordingly.

6. Don’t create negative energy. Try to let go of making unqualified judgments. Don’t decide a situation or a person is good or bad, right or wrong. Passing judgment requires emotional involvement and this practice only creates negative energy. Remember, like attracts like, so, beware of attracting into your life the very thing you are judging in the life of others.

There is more power here than you might think

I know that on their own these six steps probably don’t seem significant enough to change the course of your life. That’s because they are designed to create a subtle shift rather than a radical change in direction. But don’t underestimate the results from a three degree shift in course.

If you were flying from New York to London and the pilot was just one degree off course the whole time you would probably miss Europe altogether. Changing your life is often a case of making small adjustments that produce huge benefits in the long run. If you improve your life with small changes today the results will compound over time.

Can small changes really yield significant results?
Do you see room for any of these simple steps in your life?
The lines are open!

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The last two articles in this series have helped us build a solid appreciation for the value of using questions to change both our focus and our mindset. We also learned exactly what kind of questions are needed to direct our focus in a positive direction. Now it’s time to consider some specific ways that we can make practical application of this empowering skill and put it to use in our lives.

To fully benefit from the power of questions we need a way to integrate what we have learned into our daily routine. Specifically, we need to develop the habit of intentionally using questions to direct our focus and control our mindset in a constructive manner.

First thing in the morning

Every morning when we wake up it is a natural part of our thinking process to ask ourselves questions about the day, so this is a perfect time to practice. Asking the right questions first thing in the morning will help ensure that our focus is pointed in a productive and empowering direction all day long.

So here’s a list of possible questions that you can start asking yourself every morning beginning tomorrow. These questions are specifically designed to have a positive effect on your levels of joy, commitment and self-esteem.

1) What is there about my life that makes me feel happy right now?
2) What is going on in my life today that I can get excited about?
3) What do I feel truly grateful for right now?
4) What am I really looking forward to today?
5) Who do I love and who loves me?

If you have difficulty answering any of these questions simply insert the word “could” into the question. For example, in question #1 – What is there about my life that could make me feel happy right now?

Take some time to consider these questions as you go about your morning routine. Remember, it’s not the asking of questions that creates results, it’s the answers. As you come up with your own answers to each question, be sure to take a moment and experience how that answer makes you feel.

Do it every day for at least ten days!

By developing a routine of asking yourself questions like these every morning, you will begin to create a pattern. After a while, not only will the questions come automatically, but so will an increased level of appreciation for the answers. The answers to these questions are an important part of what makes life worth living.

Being aware of our blessings first thing in the morning can completely change our entire day. Those questions will follow us throughout the day and we will find ourselves looking for more reasons to feel happy, to get excited and to be grateful. This is a perfect example of the power of simple questions to change our focus, motivation and results in any aspect of our life.

Remember, the whole purpose of this exercise is to take conscious control of what we allow our minds to focus on. So another important point to consider is this: These questions are designed to trigger our minds to think in positive directions and to discover encouraging answers. They are not designed for overanalyzing and scrutinizing our every thought and feeling. So don’t let yourself get too carried away. Know when to quit asking and start answering.

When designing questions always include a positive assumption

When you are designing questions for yourself, make sure that they always include a positive assumption about the answer. For example, all of the questions above assume something. Question #1 assumes that there is something to feel happy about right now just as question #2 assumes there is something to be excited about. These type of assumptions give your mind both direction and motivation.

The mind considers those assumptions to be facts; consequently it will find answers that support those facts. By constructing your own personal questions this way you will empower yourself with the ability to change almost any aspect of your life.

How do you feel about the power of questions now?
Have you found the information in these articles useful?
The lines are open!

This is the 3^rd in a series of 3 articles showing how
you can Use Questions to Change Your Mindset
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 1
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 2

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As human beings we all have certain built in limitations. For example, we can only effectively focus on a very limited number of things at any given time. I see this as a great advantage because it means that when we focus on empowering thoughts it becomes literally impossible to focus on limiting thoughts at the same time.

Can you be truly happy and extremely sad at the same time? Can you feel intense love and intense anger simultaneously? See what I mean?

We cannot intensely focus our attention in two opposing directions simultaneously. This means that when we focus on something positive, really focus on it, our minds will delete or block out negative thoughts. That’s the nature of focus.

Questions can direct our focus and our feelings

Because questions have the ability to change our focus, we can automatically use them to change our feelings at the same time. When you ask yourself, “What do I feel really great about right now?” notice what happens next. Once your mind becomes occupied with answering that question there is no room for entertaining opposing thoughts. Your mind simply cannot search for reasons to feel great and reasons to feel lousy at the same time.

Some people are convinced that they can entertain opposing thoughts simultaneously, but trying to do that requires a huge mental and emotional compromise. To accomplish this kind of split focus we would have to apply a very limited degree of attention in two different directions. That’s not focus! Some synonyms for the verb focus are to concentrate, fixate and pinpoint our attention. Once we understand what focus is, we realize that it does not allow for divided attention.

Focus is not a one dimensional experience

Being truly focused involves more than just our mental acuity. It involves our emotions as well. This is especially true because the questions we are going to be asking ourselves are anchored in positive feelings and experiences. When we ask the right questions we are commanding our mind to give us answers that will support a positive mindset and move us toward affirmative action.

Emotions are the power plant of human motivation. We can use our minds to ask the questions that will harness that power, and focus it in the direction we want to go.

The right questions to help us accomplish this

When problems arise in life, as they will, what questions do we ask ourselves to motivate us toward possibility and solution?

1. How does this problem or challenge create a new opportunity? At first you may not see opportunity, so keep asking. This question is powerful because it is structured around the assumption that the problem has created an opportunity, now you just need to discover that opportunity. Your mind will recognize that assumption as fact and before long it will present you with a list of possible opportunities.

2. What action must I take to transform this situation? Notice the assumption built in to this question. There is a course of action that will transform this situation in a positive way. Now, all you need to do is to figure out what that action is and your mind will be eager to assist you.

3. What aspect of this challenge is exciting? Again the assumption, there is something here to get excited about. We just asked our mind to figure out what that is, and it will.

What all of these questions have in common?

They all have a built-in assumption that moves our focus in a positive direction. They all create a frame of mind that is empowering. And because we can focus in only one direction at a time, all of these questions prevent us from exploring the negative aspects of our situation, both mentally and emotionally.

Applying these three questions in challenging situations will require a conscious effort at first. It takes time to develop a pattern of asking empowering questions, especially when our resources are being stretched by ongoing problems. With practice however, we can condition ourselves to respond resourcefully by asking the right questions.

In part three of “Use Questions to Change Your Mindset” we will explore additional exercises that we can do every day to further encourage the use of empowering questions.

Can you see how potentially empowering this skill is?
Are you already using questions to direct your focus?
The lines are open!

This is the 2^nd in a series of 3 articles showing how
you can Use Questions to Change Your Mindset
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 1
Use questions to Change your Mindset – Part 3

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