At first glance, lack of motivation can often seem to be caused by laziness or procrastination , but looks can be deceiving!  If you’re struggling to stay motivated while working on your goals or any other endeavor, a little introspection can be just the thing to provide clarity and insight about what’s really happening beneath the surface.

When working with coaching clients who are struggling to stay motivated, it’s my job to find out why and help them get past it. Granted, sometimes the problem is exhaustion or burnout and then the prescription might be a vacation. But when that’s not the case I like to use a series of simple questions to reveal the underlying cause. If you are finding it difficult to stay motivated, try this…

Write down the answers to these 5 questions

1) Am I afraid of failing? Fear of failure is an all-too-common reason why people lose motivation.  If this is one of the reasons you’re holding back, you’ll likely be able to come up with clear ideas why you feel so afraid.  For example, you may write, “I’m afraid of embarrassing myself in front of my family and friends,” or “I’m afraid I’ll be really disappointed in myself if I don’t make this happen.”  Whatever comes to mind, write it down and then really think about whether it would be so terrible to experience – or if it would be much worse to not try at all.

2) Do I really believe in my own ability to persevere until I make it? Likewise, you may be feeling uncertain about your ability to overcome obstacles and challenges, which is slightly different than a fear of failure.  For example, you may have a certain measure of confidence in your skills and abilities but doubt that you have the determination and fortitude to achieve the full outcome you desire.

3) Have I grown bored with the goals that once meant so much to me? This is an excellent question to ask because sometimes you’re not aware that your priorities and preferences have changed, and you can gain a lot of clarity by understanding what you REALLY want.  If you do find that you’ve lost interest in your initial goals, you simply need to come up with some new and exciting goals that will spark your eagerness to move forward again.

4) Am I afraid of what it might mean if I succeed? Another common fear is the fear of success.  A fear of success is more about fearing the baggage that often comes along with success.  You may feel nervous about taking on extra responsibility, feel overwhelmed by the increased attention your success would bring, or you might even be worried that you’ll never be able to “top” this level of success in the future.  The only way to work through these fears is to discredit them.  When you break them down and really examine them, you usually find that they’re groundless or irrational, which helps you to move past them.

5) What would make me feel more motivated about this goal or activity? Sometimes you can’t find any clear reason for feeling unmotivated, but asking this question can often help you feel more in control of your own willingness to take action.  Not only do you realize that you’re not powerless against a lack of motivation, you may come up with creative ideas that could inspire your sense of enthusiasm again.

Motivations is empowering

When we feel motivated we are energized and want to make things happen. When we lack motivation everything seems like drudgery and we have to flog ourselves to get anything done. If this has been your experience lately, it’s worth a little effort to get to the bottom of it so you can regain your enthusiasm and get excited about making thing happen.

What gets you motivated?
How do you maintain your motivation and enthusiasm?
The lines are open!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

It is a rare person who lives without fearful feelings of one kind or another.  You may be afraid of heights, or spiders, or new situations, or rejection. Whatever your fears may be, there are basically two ways of dealing with them. The first is to let those fears create boundaries beyond which you can’t move or grow. The second is to face your fears head-on and allow them to become opportunities to expand your life.  Which approach do you tend to use?

We should also acknowledge the fact that being afraid is not always a bad thing.  There are obviously some things that we should be afraid of as a matter of survival. In these areas our fears help us to exercise appropriate caution. But if we allow our fears to control us, we can easily cheat ourselves out of much of the richness that life has to offer.

Five simple ways to address your fears

Let’s consider five tactics to help you overcome your fears, whatever they may be, so they don’t get in your way and rob you of the richness of a full life experience.

1. Realize that everyone is afraid of something. No matter what you are afraid of, you are not alone. There are so many commonly held fears out there that they call them phobias. We’ve all heard of the biggies like Arachnophobia which is a fear of spiders. But how about Bibliophobia (fear of books), Dendrophobia (fear of trees), Leukophobia (fear of the color white), Philophobia (fear of love) or Pteridophobia (fear of ferns).

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Why did I mention all these weird phobias? Because, now that you have seen some of the things that others are afraid of, your fears probably seem a little more reasonable. The point is, everyone fears something and understanding this can help you feel less isolated in your fears. Your particular fears do not make you weird and even your deepest, darkest fear is not unique to you alone.

2. You don’t have to overcome your fears all at once. Let’s imagine that you are fearful of public speaking. You probably wouldn’t want to address this by booking a speaking gig in front of a thousand people.  All that would do is reinforce your fearful feelings. How much more reasonable it would be to start small and work up from there.

Fear is an acronym in the English language for
‘False Evidence Appearing Real.’ ~ Neale Donald Walsch

The same principle applies to most fears. If you are afraid to swim in the ocean don’t go to the north shore of Oahu your first time out. Instead, find a quiet little bay somewhere and get comfortable with that situation. Then, as you become familiar with the feel and rhythm of small waves, you can comfortably ease your way into something a little more challenging. One of the best ways to overcome your fears is with baby steps.

3. Approach your fears as opportunities to grow. This involves changing your emotional viewpoint. Obviously, nobody wants to live with fearful feelings. What would your life be like if you overcame your fears? What kind of new opportunities would be available to you if you could just release your fears?

Looking beyond our fears to the prospective benefits of overcoming them changes our focus completely. As long as we are focusing on fear, we feed that fearful feeling. Focusing on the benefits of overcoming our fears removes much of the emotional energy feeding them. Making a list of the pros and cons of dealing with the thing that you are afraid of can help give your focus new direction.

1) What are the potential benefits of overcoming your fear?
2) How might your life be different if you weren’t afraid of it?
3) What would you be free to do if you could let go of that fear?
4) What do you have to lose by giving up those fearful feelings?

If you can objectively appraise the advantages to moving past your fears, you will begin to see your them as an opportunity to grow.  There are many wise quotes based on benefits of facing our fears. For example:

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. ~ W. Clement Stone

4. Don’t let your imagination magnify your fear. The truth is that most fears only live in our imaginations. We are fearful of what we imagine might happen if we step outside of our comfort zone.  To justify these fears we invent reasons why being afraid is a valid response. We can imagine all sorts of negative things when we contemplate something we’re afraid of, but this doesn’t make those things real.

The fears you don’t face control you. The fears
you face, you move beyond. ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Being fearful of the unknown usually has nothing to do with reality and everything to do with insecurity.  If the outcome of facing your fears is unknown then why be afraid? What do you really have to lose if you take the risk?  Making a list of all the possible outcomes can quickly reveal how irrational most fears really are.

5. Failure isn’t necessarily the end of the world. If there is one fear that is common to nearly all of us, it is the fear of failure.  While there are some scenarios in which failure is potentially devastating, or perhaps even life-threatening, most of the time it isn’t.  Yet, apprehension over possible failure often acts as a huge restraint that deprives us of experiences and opportunities that could enrich our lives.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that
something else is more important than fear.  ~ Ambrose Redmoon

If you have an idea and don’t try it because you are afraid of failure, you’ve just given someone else the chance to try it instead. Sooner or later someone else will try it and they will eventually succeed. How will you feel then?  Our failures are really just learning experiences that lead us to new discoveries. Learning what doesn’t work is just a normal part of the process.

Beyond fearfulness

Most of the time our fearful feelings are nothing more than a conditioned responses to negative assumptions. By changing our perspective and encouraging our imaginations in a more positive direction we can move beyond those feelings and embrace amazing new opportunities and experiences. Don’t allow fear to rob you of that.

So then, what are you afraid of?
How do you deal with your fears?
The lines are open!

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Have you ever held back on doing something because you were afraid of failure?  Most people have!  Let’s face it; no one likes to fail.  None of us likes to feel like we’re ineffective, weak, or lacking in any way, and that’s exactly how failure makes us feel.

However, you may be surprised to know that failure doesn’t exist – until YOU say it does.  In the dictionary, failure has several definitions:

1. A failing to do or perform
2. A state of inability to perform a normal function adequately
3. A fracturing or giving way under stress
4. A lack of success

Look carefully at those definitions and you’ll probably realize they have one thing in common when it comes to goal achievement:

Failure is only a type of perception

If you believe you have failed, then you have.  If you believe you don’t have the ability to succeed, then you don’t.  If you believe you can’t handle the pressure of achieving your goals, you can’t.  If you believe you’re not successful, you aren’t.  Failure only exists in your own mind!  The moment you decide to give up or stop working toward your goals, failure is born.

But what if you never do that?  What if you continue working toward your goals, one step at a time for as long as it takes?  There’s no failure then, is there?

This insight should be very encouraging if you’ve been working toward goals and have not yet seen positive results.  If you keep going and continue making whatever adjustment are needed, how can you fail?

3 tips to help you stay focused on your goals

1) Never give yourself an out. Most people give themselves an out without even realizing it. It’s called a fade out!  They are willing to work hard on achieving their goals, but only until the going gets too rough or their motivation dwindles.  Don’t do that!  Commit to making your goals happen, no matter what!  Never quit, never contemplate admitting failure, and never lose your inner determination.

2) Don’t get hooked on a specific timeframe for completion. It’s a good idea to set a general timeline, but be aware that some circumstances will be beyond your control. You can never say for sure exactly when your goal will be achieved.  If you lock yourself into a very restrictive timeline, you might be setting yourself up to feel like a failure!  Instead, get a general idea of when you’d like your goal to be completed, but then take it one day at a time and focus on making progress instead of reaching the finish line in as little time as possible.

3) Finally, be sure that you don’t view obstacles and setbacks as failures. The two are completely different.  An obstacle, setback or delay means only one thing:  it’s not time for your goal to be completed yet.  That’s it!  It doesn’t mean you failed; it doesn’t mean you’re weak; it doesn’t mean you’ll never achieve your goals.  It simply means you’re not done yet.  You’ve got to keep moving forward and find a way over, around, or through the obstacle.

How does eliminating the fear of failure make you feel?
What would you try to accomplish if failure didn’t exist?
The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you through the process.

What is preventing you from the relentless pursuit of your most cherished dreams? Is it circumstances? Are you keeping your dreams on hold thinking that as soon as your situation changes you will seize the opportunity and go for it?

If that is what you’ve been telling yourself then you might want to examine your situation a little further.  Is it possible that there is something else holding you back? Could it perhaps be some underlying fear that you haven’t quite come to grips with?

Don’t let fear rob you of your dreams

There is an incredible array of fears that can influence us in many subtle and deceptive ways. So much so that we often don’t even recognize their existence. Besides, even if we do recognize their presence, it does not necessarily mean that we will have the courage to break through those fears and take action.

Sometimes, we knowingly allow fear to stand between us and our dreams. Sadly, if we do that long enough, chances are, we will eventually abandon our dreams and rationalize our choice with logical sounding excuses.

This does not need to happen to you. You don’t have to allow fear to hinder your actions and destroy your dreams! With a simple shift in perspective, you can learn to transform that fear energy into excitement and use that positive energy to your advantage. 

Which side do you focus on?

Learning to shift our focus away from what we stand to lose, and toward what we stand to gain, will completely change our perception of the situation. This simple shift can quickly leave us feeling more courageous and eager to take action!

Many people are in the habit of seeing the negative side of any challenging situation. If we focus more on how big the challenge seems, instead of the potential benefits, we will resist taking action because all we can see is the potential, negative risks involved. The more we focus on the possibility of loss the more fear we create.

With this kind of mindset, wanting to move forward toward our dreams probably won’t provide enough incentive to overcome these fears. As a result, we will continuously hold ourselves back and end up accomplishing far less than we are capable of.

What are the positive and negative possibilities?

You may find it helpful to make a list of any specific fears you have and get them out in the open. In each situation that leaves you feeling hesitant or fearful, try to evaluate exactly what is holding you back. What is it that you are afraid will happen and why? Are those things really likely to occur, or is there only a slight chance?

Then use a separate sheet of paper and create a list of the benefits you stand to gain by moving forward. Be as specific and optimistic as you can. Remember that dread and fear will amplify your perception of the negative possibilities, which can make the positive benefits seem significantly smaller or less important. So, you may need to work a little harder at emphasizing the positive.

Use this information to make a balanced decision

Looking over these two lists should give you a more balanced view of your options. It will also provide the clarity you need to decide whether to move forward or not. You may decide that you have valid reasons to hang back a bit longer, and it’s perfectly fine as long as you aren’t allowing unrealistic fears to decide for you.

If you see that the possible negative consequences are more than you are willing to accept at this time, you can either come up with some less risky options, or simply hold off and reevaluate at a later time. Deciding to back off can require just as much courage as deciding to move forward, but in this case, your decision is based on sound reasoning rather than emotional paranoia.

Don’t let fear get in your way

If you do decide that the time to take action is now, you may still need to work at building up your courage a bit before you act. Creating a well thought out plan of action will go a long way in this area. Remember, the only person with the power to hold you back, or move you forward, is YOU. At its core, courage is largely the determination to conquer any fear, hesitation or excuse that attempts to separate you from your dreams.

Whatever you do, don’t try to convince yourself into believing that you have to be completely fearless before moving toward your goals! The most successful people in the world would openly confess that they eventually had to be resolved to move forward despite their fears and feelings of uncertainty!

Courage is absolutely a choice, and fear does not have the power to rob you of your dreams, motivation, and strength unless you decide to let it.

How are you doing in the pursuit of your dreams?
Have you ever wondered what’s been holding you back?
The lines are open!

The entire process of transforming fear energy into eager anticipation and motivation is covered in detail in section 5 my book TRUE SELF. This section, Harness the Power, includes six chapters devoted to helping you fully harness your internal power connection.

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This is a guest post from Dr. Annette Colby.

If you are like most people, you have a goal or a dream that is meaningful and that you want to achieve. That goal may be related to personal growth issues such as weight loss, gaining self-esteem, finding inner peace, increasing your energy levels, or overcoming depression.

Or, your goal may include going back to school, entering a new career, or bringing your creative talents into a greater public light. Having a goal is the easy part. Attempting to move through your own inner obstacles can literally leave you terrified, completely paralyzed by your own fear.

If you have tried to reach your goal and stopped because you encountered a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, don’t give up. That is the nature of goals. They take you into new territory and bring you face-to-face with your own fears and doubts. The issue is not about how to avoid fear, but how to make positive decisions that boost your confidence while fear is present.

Every day, many people give up on their dreams due to self-doubt and fear. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Here are six steps to overcoming doubt and fear and bringing your own goals to life.

1. Make a Decision. Once you define your dream or goal, decide that you want to live this kind of happy and satisfied life. This may seem basic but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep “thinking” about it. Or, when the first obstacle appears and they give up. Make a commitment to yourself. Right now is not the time to worry about how to make it happen, or how you are going to move through your challenges. Instead, plant the seed of your dream inside of you and you commit to loving this seed until the day you can harvest the fruits of your efforts.

Honor your commitment to self. No one can let you down more than you can. Make a commitment about what you want and stand strong in your commitment. No matter how challenging, how fearful, or overwhelming it may seem, decide you are going for it! Why? For no other reason than because you want it. There are no should’s, have to’s, or weak choices. This is something you want for yourself and a choice you have made.

2. You Are Not Your Fear. As you move forward on your dream, doubt and fear are going to show up sooner than you might have expected. To move beyond fear, it is helpful to learn to separate yourself from your fear. For example, instead of thinking an all encompassing statement such as, “I am fearful,” learn instead to say, “There is a part of me that is fearful and doesn’t want to move forward. But somewhere inside of me there is also a desire to continue moving forward.”

Fear is not all of who you are, rather it is an emotion that you are experiencing. The key is to recognize your fear, avoid becoming identified with your fear, and keep breathing. Breathing keeps energy moving and prevents you from being consumed in fear’s heavy embrace.

No matter how scary it seems, decide to sit with your emotion of fear for the purpose of accepting its presence, but not necessarily agreeing with it’s point of view. Acceptance helps because avoiding it doesn’t make it go away, looking the other way doesn’t make it disappear, and ignoring it does not make it any less painful. So, breathe. Then tell yourself that even though you are feeling intense fear, you can still take action. Look fear in the eye and let it know, “You are not the boss of me!” Then take the necessary steps to gain new tools and strategies to move forward on your dream once again.

3. Change your attitude about failure. Long ago, a quote arrived in my email that read, “You try things, some work, some don’t, and you do more of what works.” These simple words suggest that the formula for success is that if you want to grow and succeed, you also have to be willing to fail. Certainly, no one actually wants to experience failure.

However, if you want to succeed at something new, you will most likely experience setbacks, obstacles, and failures along the way. To be successful, redefine failure in a manner allowing yourself to see failure as “information.”Failure is really just feedback telling you to evaluate your experience, utilize the information gained to adjust your plan, and then try a new approach. When you experience a failure – get up, dust yourself off, access the information gained, revise your course, and begin again.

4. Build Your Confidence Muscle. Although achieving your dream will bring up stress, fear, doubt, this experience is precisely what is necessary for a confidence breakthrough to occur. It is not enough to make self-supporting choices when your journey is easy, you have to do it when it’s hardest to do so. That’s because to break through what is holding you back, you have to go through the doubt. You can’t dance around it, wish it away, or analyze how to avoid the experience. Making self-empowering decisions under stress is what leads you authentic personal growth and solidifies inner change.

It’s the challenges of your journey that offer hundreds of opportunities to develop your confidence muscle and gain mastery over your experiences. Every obstacle, setback, or failure offers you a new chance to believe in yourself instead of falling into doubt and fear.

5. Decide You Don’t Have To Do Anything. Here is an experiment. For the next 48 hours, eliminate the words “I have to” from your vocabulary and substitute the words “I choose to.” Instead of saying, “I have to move forward on my goal” say, “I choose to take this specific action step today.” Or, you could just as effectively say, “I choose not to take any action step today.” Either choice allows you to understand that you are the person in control of your choices. You set the priorities. You are responsible. You have control. Feel how empowering this simple change of words can be.

6. Ask Yourself Empowering Questions. Certain types of questions can lead you to gain new insights and new motivation. Ask yourself the following questions, allow yourself to answer them from your heart, and see where your truths take you: Are your dreams important enough to change your daily lifestyle?

• Do you want to be responsible for your own life decisions?
• Do you have the courage to go after what you want with tenacity and see it through to the end?
• Can you accept that fear is part of the journey and move forward anyway?
• Can you recognize that fear is only your leader if you allow it to be?

Being able to overcome your doubt and fears so you can bring into reality the life of your dreams is one of the best experiences in the world! Take control of your life by practicing these five simple steps and learn how to tame your fear and create a happier, more successful life.

What do you think? Agree or Disagree?
Did I miss an important point?
Let’s talk about it.

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