I love to sail and once had the pleasure of spending a month on a beautiful 42 ft. sailboat in the Sea of Cortez between the east coast of Baja and the west coast of Mexico. Reflecting on that experience got me thinking about some of the similarities between literal sailing and the experience of sailing on the sea of life.

In the process of living, the winds of circumstance have an unending and ever-changing influence on us. Sometimes our circumstances are like a favorable breeze that make it easier to move in our desired direction. At other times, they require that we make constant adjustment in an effort to stay on course. And much like the wind, circumstances are often beyond our control.

Coping with ever-changing circumstances

A sailor knows that he can’t control the wind. He knows that staying on course as the winds change is only possible if he develops the necessary sailing skills. The higher his skill level, the more comfortable he is when the wind and sea become more challenging. This is especially evident when unexpected storms arise and his very survival is on the line.

We have all been through life storms and we have all experienced the blowing winds of disappointment, despair and heartbreak. Why is it that some people seem to come through these stormy experiences stronger and more empowered, while others suffer varying degrees of damage? How can we better equip ourselves to deal with these challenging situations?

3 Keys to smoother sailing on the sea of life

1. Skill and adaptability. When the winds of life change, we need the skill and adaptability to change with them. And we need to be able to do this while maintaining our balance and presence of mind. Like a sailor on a stormy sea, our mastery of advanced life skills will determine how well we fare during times of adversity. The higher our skill level, the more comfortable and confident we will be when circumstances become more challenging.

A slight difference in heading and sail set can make a huge difference when it comes to successfully navigating through stormy conditions. Even a small storm can cause a lot of damage if you have too much sail up. In life, small changes in sail set and direction can either make thing a lot smoother or a lot rougher. Skill and adaptability are what will make the difference.

2. Awareness and foresight. A skilled sailor doesn’t just benefit from his experience and proficiency when conditions change unexpectedly. He also develops a greater sense of awareness that allows him to read conditions and recognize the potential for danger. When he senses that conditions are becoming less favorable, he exercises his foresight to seek the shelter of a safe harbor.

If we are paying attention, our life experiences will allow us to develop a similar sense of awareness and foresight. We will learn to read circumstances and conditions that have the potential to blow us off course or complicate our lives unnecessarily. How much better it is to use our skills to sidestep a problem when possible, rather than having to deal with adversity that that could have been avoided.

3. An adventurer’s spirit. Every sailor I have ever met has a spirit of adventure. They like to feel the force of the wind (within reason) and they like to pit their skills against changing conditions. Sailing is an exciting activity and that is one of the reasons so many people love doing it. It’s exhilarating to harness the power of the wind.

When we view life with a spirit of adventure and look for the excitement that comes with change, it predisposes us to love life with its endless variety of thrills and challenges. Life is fluid like the sea and the skill with which we set our sails will have an enormous influence on the quality of our experience.

Facing the storm

The first day of my month long sailing adventure was one I will never forget. We left mainland Mexico at daybreak so we would have plenty of time for the crossing to Baja. Later in the morning, the skipper went below and I took the wheel. I found out just how fast the weather can change once you are beyond the point where you can see land.

The sky grew dark and funnel clouds began to spring up everywhere. These mini cyclones where actually sucking sea water up into the clouds. The wind was getting gusty and the swells where growing. When I woke the skipper up and asked if he had ever seen anything like it before, he took a moment and then said “yeah, but only in books.”

Needless to say, things got very crazy for several hours, and at times we even had waves covering the entire length of our deck. But he was a skilled and experienced sailor and we had a successful crossing with an extremely high level of excitement. After the storm cleared, the rest of my month long sailing adventure was marked by warm days, calm seas, and gentle breezes.

Storms are a fact of life

We all deal with disappointments and challenges. We all have reversals and times when, in spite of our best plans and efforts, things just seem to fall apart. Challenging circumstances are not reserved for any particular group, nor is anyone immune. The rich and the poor have marital problems. The rich and the poor have the same challenges that can lead to financial ruin and personal despair.

In the final analysis, it is not the changing circumstances that will determine the quality of our lives, but rather how skillfully we meet those challenges. If we develop the life skills needed to navigate through life’s storms, we will be in the best possible place to enjoy all the beauty, joy, and excitement that comes with those warm days, calm seas and gentle breezes that life has to offer.

What kind of seas are you sailing on?
What helps keep you on course?
The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. From discovering and dismantling your limiting beliefs, to aligning with and realizing your most cherished goals – and everything in between. TRUE SELF will guide you through the process.

Most people have areas in their lives where they would like to make some improvements.  Is that true of you?  Would you like to be in better shape physically, emotionally, mentally or financially?

That’s a lot of territory, I know.  Perhaps you would like to make some positive changes in all those areas.  Well, you are certainly not alone.  I think all of us feel we have room for improvement in all those areas of life, I certainly do.

So what’s the problem?

If we see things in our life that we want to change, then what is it that is holding us back from doing it?  Why don’t we just make the desired changes?  Questions like that can sure give birth to a huge list of excuses, can’t they?

If someone says to us, why haven’t you lost the weight, or read those books, or made more money, or learned to control your temper?  We can easily defend ourselves with a long list of reasons that sound perfectly logical.  But why do we feel the need to make excuses for our behavior?

Because we like to justify ourselves!

It’s not something we do just for the benefit of others.  We like to justify ourselves to ourselves, so we can feel comfortable about who we are and why we act the way we do.

Making changes comes with a whole assortment of emotional issues that most of us would rather not deal with.  It means that we would have to disrupt our routine. It also means that some sort of effort will probably be required.  If we already have too much to do, and more than enough to think about, the last thing we want is to have one more demand put on us.

Can you relate to feeling that way?

Feeling overwhelmed means that we want to dial things down and restore some balance. The one thing we don’t want to do is to take on another project. And yet…

We still feel that inner desire to make improvements.  We know that life could be better on so many levels, and that is what we truly want.  So where does that leave us? Well, it leaves us wanting to change, and holding ourselves back at the same time.  This dilemma actually adds to our discomfort because it creates internal conflict and disharmony.

Let’s look at three things that can stop us from making changes in our life, and then we will consider three ways to deal with the situation.

1) Complacency.  The truth is that complacency has many faces and all of them create barriers to progress.  Whether it’s laziness, lack of interest, lack of motivation, inability to stick with it, procrastination, or indecision, they all add up to the same thing.  Nothing changes because in our mind, the changes we desire are not yet important enough to move us to action.

The other possibility is that, we may be waiting for some kind of miracle.  Perhaps thinking that our lives will change when we win the lottery, or when someone comes along and does all the work for us.  If this describes you, please read the following article: Don’t Count On Your Fairy Godmother

2) Fear.  Fear also has many faces.  It could be fear of failure, fear of change, fear of commitment, or even fear of success.  Fear is the most powerful reason there is to move away from something.  When we harbor fear, we will do almost anything to avoid the situation associated with that fear.  It really doesn’t matter what kind of fear it is, if we have linked taking action to fear, and inaction to security and comfort, we will not act.

The power of fear increases with proximity.  For example, with fear of success, the closer we get to actually succeeding the more fear influences our decisions and actions.  All limiting beliefs are based on fear in one form or another.  For a more in depth look at limiting beliefs I encourage you to read this: Self Sabotage

3) Confusion.  In this age of information overload confusion is an ever increasing problem.  Too much information is just as paralyzing as a lack of information.  If you want to lose some weight for example, what do you do?

You will probably start by checking out all the various weight loss programs.  And what will you find?  You will find that there are too many experts, with too many ideas, and they all sound very convincing.  The trouble is they have so many conflicting opinions that you can’t figure out who to listen to or who to trust.  The more you check into it, the worse it gets.  Information overload can put you in a holding pattern even when you are feeling motivated and fearless.

It’s a modern day paradox.  We have almost unlimited access to information on any topic, but sorting through it all can leave us more confused and frustrated than we were before we started.

Now the question is what to do about it?

If we are stuck in the dilemma of wanting to make changes and feeling unable to do so, there are really only three alternatives.  Let’s consider them one at a time.

1) No action. The first way of dealing with this dilemma is to do nothing at all, and just live with the situation and the associated frustration.  This is the choice most people make.  Life seems overwhelming enough, and the thought of adding to it is just not acceptable.  Many who find themselves in this category will simply make themselves a strong drink at the end of the day, turn on the TV, and attempt to take a nightly vacation from life.  Even though many have chosen this approach, I think there are much better options.

2) Roll back. The second way of dealing with the situation is to simply abandon your desire for more, and just settle.  For most people who make this choice the internal dialog might be, “this is my life and there’s nothing I can do about it.”  Some would call this giving up, I call it acceptance.

There is nothing wrong with acceptance. In fact it can put you in a very powerful place.  It eliminates the desire for more, and finds pleasure in the present reality.  If you can let go of wanting to be more than you currently are, and find inner harmony in doing so, then this is the way to go.

In fact, combining acceptance with simplifying your life even further, is an extremely effective course. It can quickly make your life feel much less stressful, and much more rewarding at the same time.  There is a lot of wisdom in the old adage, less is more.

3) Go for it. The third way applies to those who are compelled to become the best they can possibly be in every area of life, and nothing else will do.  For those of us who feel this way, and I include myself in this group, we need a two sided approach to help us avoid getting stuck in a perpetual holding pattern.

We need to simplify our lives and let go of nonessential activities, so that we can create room for personal development pursuits.  Adding to an overcrowded schedule will not work and you probably already know that from experience.  Even the so called overachievers have limits that must be acknowledged.

So the first step is to figure out what to let go of.  Don’t say you can’t let go of anything.  If you want to ramp up the quality of your life you need to clear some room in your schedule, preferably an hour or two per day.

Next, you need to adopt a no-nonsense, step-by-step plan for making the changes you want to make.  Whatever it is that you want to accomplish, pick one approach and stick to it.  I don’t care if there are 10 choices that all sound really good, pick one and only one, and stick to it. Here’s a little inspiration to help you get started: 8 Steps for Acting on Inspiration

Don’t expect overnight miracles.  Whatever the nature of your pursuit, give it 30 days of consistent effort before you deviate from your chosen approach.  If you’ve chosen wisely, your approach will eventually produce results, but you need to give it time.

Now make a choice!

OK, now it’s time for you to figure out what it is that’s holding you back and what you plan to do about it.  Let me know what you think and what course of action you have decided on. The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

What is it that prevents you from doing all the things you really want to do?  Is fear involved?  Fear is such a powerful emotion that it can literally put a stranglehold on our lives. That’s often true, even when our logical mind says, “you can do it.”

This is because our emotions are more powerful than our logic.  In a battle between our minds and our emotions, guess who is going to win?  You’ve probably experienced this in your own life.  Have you ever been presented with a great opportunity and logically concluded that you should take advantage of it? Was it fear that stopped you?

The fear factor

Fear comes in all shapes and sizes.  For example, fear of failure creates doubt and anxiety, which can paralyze us from taking action.  Even if we are 97% sure that something will work out favorably, that 3% fear factor can stop us in our tracks.

Then there’s fear of ridicule or of displeasing someone whose approval is
important to us.  Emotionally, approval represents pleasure and it’s something we all long for. On the other hand, ridicule and disapproval represent pain and the strongest human tendency is to move away from pain.

So even when our mind is 97% sure that acting on this opportunity will result in pleasure, the 3% possibility of pain can be very persuasive.  This is especially true under challenging circumstances.  For example: the current economic squeeze that is being felt by just about everyone. It’s much easier to muster up the confidence to try something new when our life feels stable and under control.

Economic influences

The current economic situation however, is chipping away at people’s sense of stability and security.  Things that they felt they could count on, such as jobs and investments, are suddenly gone.  This can create a massive sense of fear and insecurity.  When you’re unsure of the things that you thought you could count on, how are you supposed to feel confident about trying something else?

Many times it’s our perception of circumstance that will determine how they affect us emotionally.  Is the glass half full or half empty?  Has the economy just dealt a fatal blow, or has it opened up a new opportunity?  It’s all about perception.

It’s much easier to maintain an optimistic point of view when we’ve got all our bases covered, or at least most of them.  It’s difficult though, to adjust to challenges when they come suddenly and unexpectedly.  When you’ve invested years in a company, a business or a financial plan, the tendency to adopt a negative viewpoint can be very strong when these assets are threatened.

Advanced life skills

Learning to control how we perceive the events and circumstances going on around us can feel very challenging, if not impossible. Logically, you may reason that such control is possible, but how do you feel about it emotionally?

Once again we see that fear can create doubt, which in turn prevents us from taking action.  So any program that attempts to teach you how to exercise control over your perception would also need to show you how to change the way you channel negative, fearful energy.  I use the term channel because energy is energy, it can be used for good or bad.  It can serve us, or limit us.

Having someone tell you that you need to view some event as an opportunity instead of a catastrophe doesn’t really help much, does it?  Being told that you are in control of your own emotions, including fear, is a lot different than being shown how to exercise that control.

Learning Advanced life skills

All too often, those who are looking for real help only receive bits and pieces.  It’s a challenging prospect to transform the quality of your life.  But for those willing to put forth the effort, I honestly feel that you deserve more than the partial information and abstract concepts so common these days.

My goal in writing TRUE SELF was to give you a practical, down to earth, step-by-step guide that was easy to follow, and that would successfully walk you through the complete transformation process. As if that wasn’t challenging enough, I also wanted to refine it down to a manageable size so it would not be overwhelming. I am very pleased with the results, and I think you will be also. Why not have a look at the reviews and see how much this book has helped others to make empowering changes in their lives?

Has fear been getting in your way lately?
Do you feel like there are fewer opportunities available to you?
The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

Like it or not, problems, or challenges, are a recurring part of everyday life. Whether you choose to call them challenges, as I do, or problems, certainly doesn’t change the fact that they happen. However, it does change the way we respond to them and that little shift can make a huge difference in our outlook!

Subconsciously, the word problem says, “There’s something wrong here.” Our mind hears, “This isn’t right, life is not as it should be.” How does this perception affect us? It causes our energy to be funneled toward repairing something that’s gone wrong. Not a very empowering state of mind.

On the other hand, the word challenge sends no such mental message.  Instead of trying to repair a malfunction, challenges encourage us to recruit our inner resources and to view the situation as a new opportunity.  This is a very empowering state of mind.

Words send signals to our brain

It’s not uncommon to use the words problems and challenges interchangeably, but the fact is, they send entirely different messages to our brains.  One message represents a struggle just to regain the status quo.  It means that we have somehow lost ground and now we must struggle just to get back to where we were.

The other, more empowering choice, tells our minds that everything is great.  So great in fact, that we are ready to take on something new.  To our subconscious mind, challenges are represented as opportunities.  We see them as a way to move up to the next level.  It’s our chance to demonstrate what we’re made of.

That is why learning to use the word challenges instead of problems has such a positive effect on our outlook.  It’s the difference between our day being plagued with problems or full of opportunities?  Are we struggling just to maintain, or are we ready to accept the challenge and take it to the next level?

Take empowering words for a trial run

Changing the words we use changes our perception of life, but please, don’t take my word for it.  Instead, why not try it out for yourself? Simply replace the word problems in your vocabulary with the word challenges and see what happens?

This is such a simple way to ramp up the quality of your life.  Why not try it for a week and let me know how it works for you? Improving the quality of your life doesn’t need to be complicated.  Many of the most powerful life skills you will ever learn are as simple as exchanging one word for another.

Of course, it doesn’t really matter how simple they are if we don’t use them.  And therein lies the real secret of personal growth.  Nothing happens unless we actually apply what we learn.  The power of any skill or strategy is in the application. If we make it a habit to consistently incorporate the things we learn, even the simplest of life skills will have a profound effect on our life.

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

In my last article I talked about the challenges I faced overcoming a herniated disc and some related nerve damage. That article was called How to Avoid Insanity and Stay On Course.  Today, I am going to share another episode from that same challenging period of time.

When it rains, sometimes it pours!

While I was dealing with those issues, my wife was diagnosed with a torn rotator cuff tendon. This wasn’t just a small tear. It was a 1-inch hole right in the middle of her rotator cuff tendon.  We’re talking about some serious PAIN here.

During her surgery they found a huge bone spur, which turned out to be the cause of the tear.  The surgeon also discovered that the proximal tendon of her long bicep head was shredded beyond repair. So he cut that tendon loose, which means that part of her muscle would no longer be usable. More pain!

As you can imagine, physical therapy was required to rehabilitate her shoulder and arm.  And if you’ve ever been through physical therapy, you already know that it means going way outside the comfort zone.

You can pay now, or you can pay later

Do you think that she let that PAIN of rehabilitation stand in her way?  Not at all! She consistently did every single exercise, every stretch, and every movement that was given to her, regardless of how much pain was involved.

Why was she willing to endure that kind of punishment? What was the motivation behind her efforts? The thought of limited mobility and restricted function represented more pain than the temporary discomfort of rehabilitation.

She was willing to embrace short-term pain and go outside her comfort zone if that’s what it took to achieve her intended outcome, which was full recovery.

What would you have done?

In speaking with her physical therapist, I was curious. I asked him, what percentage of his patients actually follow through on the exercises that he gives them so they can fully recover?

His answer was disappointing, but not surprising.  As it turns out, only a small percentage of his patients are willing to push themselves outside their comfort zone in order to continue making progress.  Consequently many (most) of them never make a full recovery.

They wind up impaired, but not because recovery was impossible.  Simply because they were not willing to experience a little temporary discomfort in order to regain what they would otherwise lose.

What’s the lesson for us?

Sometimes, making changes in our life, or overcoming adversity involves discomfort, even pain.  If we remain in the comfort zone, we lose.  We may lose something we formerly had, or we may lose something that could have been.

It might be an opportunity to acquire some new knowledge, cultivate a new relationship, multiply our income, or regain the use of a shoulder or arm. Whatever it is, sometimes a certain amount of discomfort is involved.

In the area of personal development, we might call these trips outside the comfort zone growing pains.  Learning new things, letting go of unhealthy beliefs, and adopting new habits can seem uncomfortable. Change can be scary.

Sometimes, no pain means no gain

A friend of mine likes to say, “First comes the fear, then the blessing.” When you fall off the proverbial horse, do you get back on, or do you just lie on the ground and lick your wounds?  When you try something new and fail to get the results you want, do you give up or make adjustments and go for it again?

Life has its ups and downs, its joys and sorrows.  The way we choose to view such things, and how we respond to them, will have a huge influence on our quality of life.

How do you see it?

With the right mindset, adversity can represent opportunity. Instead of a walls,  we can learn to see challenges.  When we embrace these challenges, we grow.  When we train ourselves to see opportunity in adversity, and to reach outside of the comfort zone to grasp it, we grow as a person.

Our attitude will become more positive as we realize that some of the greatest benefits begin with a trip outside of our comfort zone.  We become better partners, whether it is in business relationships or personal relationships. We also become more sympathetic toward the challenges faced by others, which puts us in a position to encourage them to see opportunity in adversity.

Don’t fear the discomfort zone!

So how did things turn out for my wife? Within three months she had made an amazing recovery.  The physical therapist cut her loose and verified that she was making excellent progress.  He said she was in the top 1% of those who try to rehabilitate from such an ordeal.

Was she still in pain? Of course, and as she resumed her normal activities she continued to experience some discomfort. But she had her life back and the pain continued to decrease with each passing day. Today, that shoulder is 100% and there is no pain.

Don’t let the thought of going outside the comfort zone stop you from having the life you want. Remember what my friend says, first comes the fear, then the blessing.

Have you ever found opportunity in adversity?
Have you ever benefited from venturing outside the comfort zone?
The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

Have you ever noticed that every challenge also contains a blessing in disguise? If not, perhaps you haven’t been looking closely enough! Granted, life’s challenges usually seem like inconveniences when they interrupt our schedules, or get in the way of something we want to do. Isn’t that part of the reason we call them challenges?

When we’re working toward a goal that’s important to us, the last thing we want is to face some big, unexpected challenge or obstacle. When that happens, it usually means a big delay, added learning curve, greater expense, or some other unplanned complication. When we are focused on results it is hard to appreciate detours.

Reframing challenges

What if we could learn to see life’s challenges in a whole new light? What if we could learn to see them as highly beneficial experiences, adventures in learning, or even blessings in disguise? Wouldn’t that be a welcome shift in perception?

The truth is, with the right mental attitude we can completely reframe the way we experience challenges. And asking the right questions is one of the most effective ways to do that. With a little practice we can come to view challenges as some of our most valuable life experiences.

5 questions you can ask yourself when facing challenges

1) What can I learn from this?
Too often we view challenges as irritating annoyances, when in fact they may hold a great opportunity to learn and grow! If we start by asking ourselves, “what can I learn from this experience?” it immediately puts a more positive spin on the situation. It allows us to discover something worth appreciating about our experience. It makes it possible to recognize true value that might have gone unnoticed, and to see opportunity and possibility instead of inconvenience and annoyance.

2) How can this strengthen me?
One major reason why challenges intimidate us is because we don’t feel capable of handling them. We may have a limited perception of our own abilities, so we automatically believe that the challenge is bigger than we are. If we learn to see each challenge as an opportunity to become stronger and more capable, everything changes. We can use challenging situations to unlock our untapped strengths and abilities. Each time we do this it will increase our confidence until we begin to see most challenges as opportunities to harness our personal power to an even greater degree.

3) How can I use this to my advantage?
More often than not, we tend to view challenges as disadvantages – but is that necessarily true? When something gets in our way, what do we do? Don’t we start searching for a different strategy to accomplish our goal? Challenges often help us discover better ways to do things. Thanks to the challenge, we may be able to replace a flawed strategy with one that works much better. Asking “how can I use this to my advantage” opens our mind to alternatives that we never would have considered otherwise.

4) How can I use this to help others?
Even though we might believe that our goals only affect us personally, that is rarely the case. What we do, how we think and feel, and our course of action has an impact on the people around us. Not only do other people watch the things we do and how we live our life – they often model their own behavior after ours. If you refuse to let challenges intimidate you or slow you down, you just might inspire and motivate others to do the same when they face obstacles of their own. Anytime you experience personal growth, you help the people around you in some way.

5) What would make this a worthwhile experience?
Sometimes, just being willing to recognize that a challenge may not be such a bad thing can be enough to help you realize all kinds of wonderful benefits from it. This question does a couple of things: first, it helps you feel more empowered because it affirms that you always have a choice in how you react to any situation. Second, it reminds you that every challenge holds the seeds for unlimited blessings and opportunities.

How you see them is up to you!

Challenging circumstances are part of life, that’s not going to change. However, that doesn’t mean that you are a victim of circumstances. Your attitude and perception are something that you create. They are not dictated by your circumstances. You always have a choice! So, the real question here is this, do you choose to see blessings in life’s challenges?

Have you had challenges turn out to be blessings?
Have you learned valuable lessons from challenging times?
The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

How much difference can you create in your life with a subtle little shift in perception? Sometimes the difference between a happy, successful outcome and a dismal failure, is only a slight shift in perception. How we represent things to ourselves determines how we will respond to any given situation. In turn, our response will help determine the outcome.

When life hands you a challenge, how do you feel about it? What is your initial internal response on an emotional level? What is your external response as seen through your body language and verbal expressions? Why does it even matter?

What do our responses reveal about us?

How we respond to any situation reveals a lot about our attitude and perception. So, when we see challenges as opportunities, what does that reveal about our personal vantage point? Likely it means that we have a healthy degree of optimism, self-confidence and openness, along with an adventurous spirit. It would indicate that we enjoy life and look forward to whatever comes next.

On the other hand, what does it say about us when we greet a new challenge with feelings like: “Oh no, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” Well obviously, this would indicate that we are running low on resources. It might also reveal a pessimistic, closed, and somewhat fearful perception of the world around us. This type of limiting attitude can only attract more of the same. Fear and negativity cannot possibly create a life of joy and prosperity.

The surprising thing is that there is often only a small degree of difference between a positive, optimistic perception, and a negative, pessimistic one. Even though these two attitudes are polar opposites, they both started with the same challenge.

One degree of difference

Our immediate response to any situation sets up a corresponding chain of neurological events. If we can control our immediate response, we can change the outcome of those events. Allow me to illustrate.

When a golfer takes a swing at a ball, one degree of difference can determine whether he comes in under par, or sinks one in the lake. When a jet takes off from LA international, headed toward London, one degree of difference can determine whether he lands in Greenland or Africa. Okay, I admit that I didn’t plot this one on a map, but you get the idea.

Correspondingly, if our first response to any given situation is negative, it makes a positive outcome much more difficult to achieve. That initial negative response will trigger our established response patterns, and we will begin to follow the ingrained pattern established by previous negative experiences. In essence, we will switch over to autopilot in the wrong direction.

Here’s the important point: training ourselves to respond positively, or at least neutrally, will have the opposite effect. An optimistic response to a new challenge will trigger a completely different set of established response patterns. Our subconscious will look for similarities between this situation and our initial response to positive experiences from our past. This will initiate a neurological chain reaction that will help move us in the right direction. Now we will be operating from a much more resourceful state.

So how do we train ourselves to control our initial response to challenges so they feel like opportunities? Let’s look at…

3 Ways to Turn Challenges into Opportunities

1) Liberate yourself – Accept responsibility! The first step is to recognize that we are in control. We need to accept responsibility for our responses, and recognize that they assert a powerful influence on our life. How many times have you heard someone say, “That’s just how I am, I can’t help it.” Until we accept responsibility we won’t have any reason to change.

Accepting responsibility is a wonderfully liberating experience. It puts us in the driver’s seat of our own life. That means that we are in control, and we can change direction anytime we want to. It is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.

Some people shy away from responsibility because it brings with it accountability. So let me ask you this, is it more empowering to be accountable for your own actions and attitudes, or to make somebody else responsible?

You see, when we give away accountability we create a state of helplessness. So I encourage you, liberate yourself – accept responsibility.

2) Use leverage! Leverage means that you exert the greatest amount of control with the least amount of effort. The time to do this is during the first few moments when you are faced with a new challenge. Once you start down a negative road, it is much more difficult to reverse your course. If you control your first step, you start out in the right direction, and it is much easier to maintain that direction.

This is true in all aspects of our lives. If you are a cookie monster (like me) and you’re trying to exercise control over your cravings, where is the best place to do that? If you said, “at the store,” then you are absolutely right. If you don’t bring the cookies home, you won’t be tempted to eat them. If you don’t take them off the shelf and put them in your cart, you won’t be tempted to buy them. So, the simple act of leaving them on the shelf gives you the greatest leverage for controlling your cravings.

In the same way, weighing a situation before we respond to it gives us the greatest leverage in determining the outcome. In other words, leave the negative response on the shelf.

3) Turn it into a game. When we take life too seriously, it’s easy to overreact to situations. Why not turn it into a game instead? If you tend to react negatively to challenges, try imitating somebody who always reacts positively. Make a game out of it, put yourself in character, play the role until you establish a new response pattern.

Role-playing makes it much easier to break ingrained habits then trying to tackle them head-on. It also makes the whole process more fun. You might feel self-conscious imitating somebody else, but trust me, no one will notice. What they will notice is how you respond positively to challenging situations. In return, they will respond to you in a positive way, and everybody feels better.

Look, you are surrounded by opportunities!

Now you have three powerful ways to control your initial response to challenging situations. Like most of the life skills I write about, these are simple steps that can help you to quickly transform the quality of your life. If you are interested in a step-by-step program for producing unprecedented personal growth, have a look at TRUE SELF.

Do you have a favorite tip for seeing opportunities in your challenges?
Have you ever discovered opportunities  hidden in a challenging situation?
The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. From discovering and dismantling your limiting beliefs, to aligning with and realizing your most cherished goals – and everything in between. TRUE SELF will guide you through the process.