How good are you at focusing your time and attention toward things that really matter?  In a world full of constant distractions, how often do you find yourself struggling to maintain your focus on the things that are truly important to you personally?

The connection between what we choose to focus on and our current reality is often misunderstood. Increasingly, productivity is being replaced by busy work and as a result feelings of frustration are overtaking our sense of accomplishment.  Learning to purposely direct your focus will make it possible to reverse this trend.

Focusing on priorities while avoiding distractions

Understanding how our mind uses focus to direct our attention gives us the ability to create a less frustrating and more targeted living experience. We control our perception of reality by controlling what we focus on. This is because focus brings one thing to the center of our attention while deemphasizing everything else.

When we focus on our priorities it also helps us to block out distractions. The less focused we are the more susceptible we become to every little distraction that comes along. And let’s face it; winning the battle against distractions is getting more challenging by the day.

Are you in command of your life’s priorities?

Many people have never actually taken the time to discover what is truly important to them. All through life our priorities are influenced by other people’s advice and expectations.  As a result, much of what we do in life is a reflection of those outside influences. And once life becomes a routine, there is a tendency to just keep doing what we have always done without giving it much thought.

Over time our mind and our nervous system gets programmed through repetition. This causes us to continue to pay attention to the things we have always paid attention to. Eventually we can find ourselves in a rut and running on autopilot. The problem with this approach is that life is constantly changing. If we just keep following our old routine, we could easily spend years putting our focus in a direction that does not reflect our true self.

Aligning our priorities with our true self

Before we can establish priorities that truly represent our core self, we need to take the time to discover who we really are. To do this requires that we step outside the programming of those external influences and connect with our deepest values, passions, and motives. But how do we do that?

As important as connecting with our true self is, it is not something that most people are taught through conventional channels. Consequently, it’s a process that many struggle with. In fact, recognizing this need is what moved me to lay it all out in a step-by-step format in my book TRUE SELF. Only when we discover who we are on the deepest levels can we succeed in directing our focus toward the truly important things in life.

Putting it all together

So, just to be clear, let’s look at how focus helps us create a more meaningful reality. Whatever we focus on the most will eventually manifest in our life, but that will only be meaningful if it is in harmony with our true self. Because we have been influenced by external feedback all our lives, our concept of true self is skewed toward the strongest or most unrelenting of those external influences. On top of that the constant barrage of distractions we are exposed to on a daily basis further clouds our perception of who we really are.

Having the right priorities in life is how you buy out the time and energy to put your focus where it will do the most good. For those priorities to be right for you as an individual, you must take the time to discover your true self. Then you are in the position to align your priorities and to focus on the thoughts and activities that lead to a more fulfilling life experience.

Unleash the power of focus

Focus is a very powerful tool, especially when it is used in a way that aligns with and supports your authentic self. I encourage you to take the time to discover your unique inner person. Before you can harmonize your life and the amazing power of focus you need to distinguish the person you truly are from your response to outside influences and expectations.

How do you deal with distractions?
Are you finding it challenging to keep your focus?
Do you feel truly connected to your true self?

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

During my life in the rainforests of Queensland, Australia, I learned that a smart person has to live in Survival Mode. You might think this means that I lived in a constant fearful state, always awaiting the next deadly danger.

That is how I initially lived, terrified of poisonous snakes, ticks, sea snakes, jellyfish, and dangerous crocodiles, sharks, stinging trees and more. I lived in a perpetual state of fear until I educated myself about the creatures I lived with.

Editors Note: This is a guest post by Robin Easton of Naked In Eden

I learned their territories, habits and needs. Once my awareness increased and I better understood them, I was able to give them the space and the response they needed. I also knew where I was most likely to encounter them. The more I learned about these potentially deadly creatures the more aware and relaxed I became and the higher my ability to survive rose. I could choose how to most appropriately respond.

It’s not about fear

Living in Survival Mode does not mean living in a fearful state. In fact, it means quite the opposite. It simply means living with awareness. There is a distinct difference between living in Fear Mode and living in Awareness Mode. Those first few months in the rainforest my fright and lack of knowledge about the rainforest’s potentially deadly creatures, made me completely blind and vulnerable. My trepidation and the denial of its existence actually increased my risk of death.

I knew nothing about the creatures I feared only that I was afraid of dying from a poisonous snake bite, an unseen paralysis tick or a poisonous jellyfish. Not only did my fear and denial make me vulnerable, but it made me react in chaotic and unpredictable ways that frightened the dangerous snakes and creatures around me. My fearfulness made them easily alarmed as they had no idea how I might react and whether or not I would harm them.

Denial, a close relative to fear

There’s another mode of living that’s related to Fear Mode. Some people spend their entire lives living in Denial. Most of us have experienced this at one time or another. When we live in Denial Mode we are not only living in fear, but we attempt to push away or block all that frightens and overwhelms us, anything that might force us from our comfort zones.

So if a comfort zone is comfortable, why not just live there? Many of us do. Whole cultures of people live in a comfort zone. We watch TV, read endless books, make money and shop. “Things” become the focus of our daily lives. We often eat whatever we want without concern for the effects on our bodies, other species or the land. We simply eat what is easy and feeds our gnawing huger, which can be much like an endless addiction.

The benefits of awareness

Now, in Awareness Mode we may feel overwhelmed or fearful, but we never turn our backs on fear. We look at it head-on, keep an open mind and deal with it practically. We educate ourselves and learn to know what we fear and why we fear it. Even when we don’t fully understand what we are afraid of, we are willing to at least explore that which we fear.

Eventually we are able to separate those fears which are potentially real from those fears which we “feel as real” but may have no basis in our present life. And we no longer deny the existence of the real fears. Instead we learn to take the necessary steps to protect ourselves so that we can remain strong, healthy, aware and alive.

It’s time for a change

I believe it speaks directly to the present emotional state of my culture (and many other cultures) in that we currently live in Denial and Fear Mode on nearly every level of our busyness. As we pollute almost all of our water, air, soil, food and space on the planet we are being called to shift from Denial and Fear into Awareness and Survival. Our very survival as a species might depend on this shift.

This is why I call it Survival Mode. When we live in Fear Mode we often make irrational and reactionary choices, choices that are not based on a solid foundation of clear thinking, knowledge and calm knowing of what we are dealing with. In Fear Mode we see only our fear. In Denial Mode we don’t see much at all.

When we are not living in awareness we are at our greatest risk in terms of survival, as individuals and as a species. When we cover our eyes and don’t want to “see” we risk our health, our children’s health and the health of the planet.

Robin Easton is an author, speaker, environmentalist,
nature photographer, musician and adventurer. She is
currently readying here book, Naked in Eden, for pub-
lication in fall 2010. It is a story based on her life
in the Australian rainforest. Her fascinating story has
been told on an award-winning NBC News affiliate piece,
Paul Harvey News, CNN, KBLA Radio, KSFR and others.
She's appeared in magazines and newspapers throughout
the U.S.A. and Canada. You can learn more about Robin
and her work by visiting her blog Naked In Eden.

Personal change is both an internal and external experience. It stems from a change in mindset and branches out from there. In truth, we are constantly moving toward some things, and away from others. But in order for noticeable change to occur, we must pass through a series of tipping points in succession.

This does not mean that personal growth can’t take place quickly, because it can. What it does mean is that all meaningful change, regardless of the time required, will follow a certain sequence.

On the path of transition

We see an excellent large scale example of this sequential process in a typical life span. We all begin life as infants and progress through childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, middle age, and finally old age. Some pass through these stages at different rates, but the sequence is always the same.

Note also that these stages of life are not limited to physical change alone. There is a complete metamorphosis on all levels. Mental and emotional change is present in conjunction with the physical. A very similar order is in involved in the process of personal growth and development.

The 7 stages of personal growth

1) Awareness. The initial motivation for change starts with a sense that something is no longer working as well as it once did. This awareness can be extremely subtle at first. Maybe you feel uncomfortable with a long held belief, or with your current way of dealing with certain situations. Perhaps you realize that you no longer feel as resourceful or effective in certain areas of your life.

These feelings are the beginning of your personal recognition that something needs to be adjusted and precede any change in mindset. Even before you can put your finger on the source of this internal discomfort, you feel it on some level. Something is just not right and your conscious mind begins to investigate.

2) Discovery. This is the stage where your conscious mind has located the source of discomfort and is attempting to alert you of its presence. At this point you may run into resistance from your own ego, and the whole process of growth could be cut short.

The ego seeks refuge in denial, pretending that your discomfort is from an external source rather than an internal one. For personal growth to progress past this stage requires that we accept that the source of our uneasiness is from within ourselves. The ability to override the denial tendency and adopt a new mindset is a prerequisite for moving to the next stage.

3) Ownership. In this stage we take responsibility for our own discomfort. That means that we fully accept that we are the source, rather than some external force. At this point we consciously acknowledge that it is our feelings, habits, perception, emotions, limiting beliefs, or faulty reasoning that needs to be adjusted.

This is a very powerful step on the path of personal growth. It is the realization that we are actually in control, and therefore have the ability to facilitate a change. Accepting complete ownership of the situation opens the door to a new mindset of personal empowerment.

4) Exposure. This is the stage where we expand our search to identify the emotion or belief that is no longer serving us. This can be difficult for several reasons. For one, logic is not usually a very effective tool in the emotional arena. For another, we tend to view our beliefs as facts of life, and will always look for ways to justify them.

Rather than a direct confrontation, it is much easier to look at our behavior patterns to see how different beliefs have affected our lives. Once we recognize that we have been held back by, or suffered because of, certain beliefs, we will have both logic and emotion supporting our desire for change.

5) Intention. This is the threshold of personal growth. You have identified an obsolete belief or behavior pattern, and you are now motivated to replace it with something more empowering. You are ready to move away from your former stage of development and embrace the next level. It’s time to choose a direction.

By the time you reach this tipping point, it is fairly easy to see where you want to be. The same comparison process that exposed the original source of discomfort has probably already revealed your next destination. All that’s left is to embrace a mindset that affirms your resolve to go there, and to formulate a plan of action.

6) Action. In the world of actual change, this is the only way to achieve results. If you don’t act, nothing will change. In fact, your discomfort with the current reality will increase because you have a much greater awareness of it. Before, it was just a subtle sense that something is no longer working. Now, it has a face.

Taking action is the only way to reestablish internal harmony. Any other course will require that you relinquish control and accept the mindset of a victim. When people feel helpless and depressed with their life, failure to take action and move toward a solution is often the cause.

7) Integration. This is the final stage where you have fully adopted the new belief or behavior. What started as a subtle awareness that something needed to be adjusted, has resulted in new milestone on the journey of personal growth.

You have now reestablished your internal harmony on the next level. You have also successfully let go of an established, but obsolete, belief. It has been replaced with something much more empowering.

Choose personal growth

The more you experience this process the more natural it becomes. For those who embrace change, personal growth is a way of life. Never fool yourself into thinking that resisting change is the easier course; it’s not, because it robs you of the happiness and sense of purpose that you deserve. When you embrace growth, you embrace life!

How do you feel about personal change?
Do you ever resist making changes to improve your life?
The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you through the process.

Everybody wants that thing called “a good life.” Well here’s my question, what does that even mean? Exactly what is it that moves a life from “an average life” to “the good life”? For that matter, who gets to decide what constitutes a good life?

If you asked a hundred people those questions, chances are you would get a hundred different answers. But even in the variety of answers, you would find several common areas that are important to almost everybody. So, while your definition may vary from mine, there are many things that we would both consider necessary for the good life.

Do you feel like you are already living the good life?

If the answer is no, then what would it take for you to feel that you were? This is a worthwhile question to ask yourself. If you don’t take the time to define exactly what “a good life” means to you, how will you know when you get there? In fact, how can you be sure that you’re not there already?

You are the one whose definition of a good life really matters. The reason for this is simple, it is your life we are talking about here. That might sound obvious until you stop to consider how hard the media and other social factors try to influence our personal concept of the good life.

Don’t let them do your thinking for you!

Advertisers work very hard to convince you that your life just won’t be complete without their product. Like you’re living in deprivation if you don’t own the latest, greatest, soon to be obsolete version of everything. This kind of propaganda can have a substantial influence on our subconscious if we are not clear about what really matters to us personally.

The truth is that more stuff can actually diminish the quality of our life. Interestingly, there is a growing awareness of the benefits of keeping things simple these days. Many people have figured out that a good life is often a less complicated life. The simple act of unplugging from TV commercials can completely change your perspective on this.

Some people are convinced that money is the big difference between an average life and the good life. Others feel that it’s not the money, but the things the money can buy that define a good life.

What role do you think money plays?

Let’s face it; having money can certainly make life more comfortable. It can also relieve some of the pressure associated with trying to make ends meet. So it is probably fair to say that money has the potential to contribute to the quality of life on some levels. At the same time, we need to recognize that there are plenty of miserable people with money. This would indicate that money’s role may not be as significant as one might think.

The same could be said of having more stuff. There are certain things that make our life easier to manage and others that add to our enjoyment. Beyond that, more stuff just becomes a burden. Learning to check our desire for more can go a long way toward improving our quality of life.

7 Important elements of the good life

So what are some of the necessary elements of the good life? Well the qualifier is that they all must contribute to our sense of joy and purpose in a meaningful way. To truly be the good life, our life must satisfy our most intrinsic needs. Let’s consider what some of those essentials might include in no particular order..

1. Meaningful Productivity. We have a built in desire to be productive in a meaningful way. Yes, a good life includes time for relaxation and reflection, but it is not centered around those things. The things we do on vacation are very enjoyable, but doing them full time is not the key to a good life. Life needs balance, and productivity gives us a sense of accomplishment and value that we can’t get from laying on the beach for months on end.

2. Meaningful Relationships. Good friends and close companions are an important part of a good life. It doesn’t really matter if you are a social butterfly or a private person, everyone needs to be able to truly relate to one or more other people. It’s the quality of our relationships that fills this need, not the quantity. If you have a mate, hopefully they are also your best friend. Being able to share our deepest thoughts, feelings, hopes and concerns helps affirm and define our own existence.

3. Spiritual Awareness. Whether we recognize it or not, each of us has a spiritual need. In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus’ first words were “happy are those conscious of their spiritual need.” How can being aware of a need make you happy? Only those conscious that they have a need will take the necessary steps to fill it. Wanting to satisfy a need moves us to take action in that direction. The happiness comes from finding a way to fill the spiritual void.

4. Mental Health. The human mind loves to learn. We were endowed with incredible potential for learning new things. Not only does learning help us to gain new knowledge and insights, but it also brings a renewed sense of excitement to our lives. A life that is static and intellectually unchallenging can quickly become boring. Learning keeps our minds active and alert which helps prevent mental atrophy. You know the old saying, use it or lose it. We should also exercise discretion with regard to what we learn. Not all knowledge is beneficial. The quality of our life is directly influenced by what we focus on. When it comes to learning, stick with topics that add value to your life and avoid anything that might undermine your personal standards or taint your views.

5. Stay Healthy. Never take your health for granted. The quality of your life will suffer dramatically if you lose your health. Always give adequate attention to your physical self. That means getting regular exercise and quality nutrition. It also means maintaining a reasonable approach to things like alcohol and caffeine. Remember, balance is a common denominator here. Overindulgence of food and or alcohol can quickly destroy the quality of your life, so be reasonable.

6. Keep Money in its Place. We already acknowledged that money can make life more comfortable and less stressful. But putting too much emphasis on making money can destabilize the other areas of life. Don’t be a slave to money. You can’t buy meaningful relationships, good health, spirituality or good mental health. Money is not the most important thing in life so keep it in its place.

7. Cultivate a Kind and Caring Disposition. A self-centered life is not a satisfying experience. The more you work to add value to the lives of others, the more rewarding your own life will be. Reinforce this by cultivating an attitude of gratitude. The more you do this, the more you will have in your life to be grateful for. Adding value and being grateful will counteract unwanted selfish tendencies.

The reason that happiness can seem illusive is because it is a bi-product of serving others. And isn’t the whole idea behind “The Good Life” to be happy? Indeed, a happy life is truly a good life.

What would you add to this list?
Feel free to comment.

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