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	<title>Advanced Life Skills &#187; anxiety</title>
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	<description>Strategies for Positive Change</description>
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		<title>11 Ways to Decrease Relationship Stress</title>
		<link>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/decrease-relationship-stress/</link>
		<comments>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/decrease-relationship-stress/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Mar 2012 01:18:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jonathan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[daily life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[economy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[home life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[struggle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=7441</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Stress has an insidious way of undermining every aspect of our health and happiness. Nowhere is this more obvious then in our closest and most valued relationships. Have the anxieties and pressures of daily life or a constricting economy begun to seep into your home life? When we are stressed out, we need to feel that our home is a safe haven where we can find relief and comfort. A happy relationship can make all the difference during challenging times. Sadly, more and more couples are experiencing the divisive influence of outside stress in their relationship with their mate. Growing [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a class="post_image_link" href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/decrease-relationship-stress/" title="Permanent link to 11 Ways to Decrease Relationship Stress"><img class="post_image alignright" src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/decrease-relationship-stress.jpg" width="213" height="300" alt="11 Ways to Decrease Relationship Stress" /></a>
</p><p>Stress has an insidious way of undermining every aspect of our health and happiness. Nowhere is this more obvious then in our closest and most valued relationships. Have the anxieties and pressures of daily life or a constricting economy begun to seep into your home life?</p>
<p>When we are stressed out, we need to feel that our home is a safe haven where we can find relief and comfort. A <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/10-timeless-guidelines-for-a-happy-relationship/" target="_blank">happy relationship</a> can make all the difference during challenging times. Sadly, more and more couples are experiencing the divisive influence of outside stress in their relationship with their mate.</p>
<h3><strong>Growing closer while facing challenges</strong></h3>
<p>Are there steps we can take to protect the happiness of our relationship during trying times? When the pressure rises, is there some way for couples to actually draw closer rather than allowing their relationship to be torn apart?</p>
<p>Handled correctly, challenging experiences can actually bring couples closer together. This is not to say that they will be immune to the stress. What it means is that working together and facing their challenges as a unified partnership can deepen their bond and add new depth to their relationship.</p>
<h3><strong>11 ways to decrease relationship stress</strong></h3>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>1. Avoid making negative assumptions.</strong></span> If something happens that you have no control over, don’t make things worse by assuming the worst. If someone loses their job it doesn’t help to conclude that you will also lose your home and everything you have worked for. Instead of focusing on the negative possibilities, sit down with your mate and discuss possible solutions. If you work together in a creative way you may be able to turn this challenge into an opportunity. This is the time to let your partnership shine.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>2. Don’t be critical or assign blame.</strong></span> The blame game is very destructive to a relationship and it never contributes to unity. The goal here is to draw closer as a couple, not to alienate your best friend and life partner. The same goes for being critical of one another, all that will do is divide the relationship. Let’s face it, sometimes bad things happen, that’s just the way life is. Looking at each challenge as an opportunity to strengthen <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/relationship-joy/" target="_blank">your relationship bond</a> will help you avoid the temptation to blame your mate.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>3. Acknowledge your partner&#8217;s concerns.</strong></span> If something goes wrong and we feel responsible, it is easy to turn defensive when our partner expresses their concerns. Rather that turning it into a confrontation by defending ourselves, we need to put our egos aside and acknowledge their concerns with an understanding heart. If we are truly partners then we are in it together. That means we probably have similar concerns that we need to work on in a spirit of cooperation.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>4. Respond rather than react.</strong></span> The difference between a response and a reaction has to do with the amount and type of emotion that’s involved. When we just react to bad news it is very likely that our reaction will also include a negative emotional component. If we choose to respond rather than react, our knee jerk reaction will be softened by our desire to maintain peace and unity in our relationship. A response allows room for more positive emotions like compassion and understanding.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>5. Honor each other’s feelings.</strong></span> The way men and women respond to stress is often very different. To the man, it might seem like she is attaching too much emotional significance to the situation. To the woman, it might seem like he is just blowing it off or ignoring the problem. Recognizing that we all express our concerns in different ways makes it easier to honor the feelings and expressions of our mate. The fact that <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/65-ways-to-make-her-feel-special/" target="_blank">we express our feelings differently</a> does not mean that one person&#8217;s way is more valid than their mate’s, it’s just different.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>6. Identify the real source of the stress.</strong></span> If we are feeling stress in our relationship, we need to figure out where it is coming from. If the source of the stress is external (outside the relationship), don’t treat it like a relationship problem. See it for what it is! Statistically, money issues account for more relationship problems than any other source. But in reality, money is a financial problem. It only becomes a <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/are-you-building-trust-into-your-relationship/" target="_blank">relationship</a> problem if you let it. Working together as partners is a much more effective way to solve money problems than fighting about it.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>7. Treat your mate with respect.</strong></span> There is an old saying that familiarity breeds contempt. How sad is that? Unfortunately, we tend to be less resourceful when we are under stress. The last thing we want to do under those conditions is be disrespectful to the person we share our life with. In reality, it’s not familiarity that breeds contempt; it’s a lack of respect and consideration. You can promote unity and <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/your-closest-relationships/" target="_blank">decrease relationship stress</a> by always maintaining a high level of <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/67-ways-to-make-him-feel-super-respected/" target="_blank">respect for your partner</a>, regardless of the challenges you face.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>8. Seek opportunities to encourage each other.</strong></span> How do you feel when your partner expresses confidence in you? It’s encouraging, isn’t it? And this is especially true during those challenging times when you may be experiencing feelings of self-doubt. Nothing lifts us up and restores our confidence like the encouragement of our special someone. Mutual encouragement is one of the most powerful anti-stress tools <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/what-makes-a-happy-relationship/" target="_blank">your relationship</a> has, be sure to make good use of it. Instead of waiting for stressful situations to present themselves, why not seek every opportunity to be encouraging.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>9. Differentiate between the relationship and the problem.</strong></span> It is vital to always recognize the difference between the actual relationship and the problems and challenges you face. The love you feel for one another needs to be protected from the problems you encounter. Confusing the two is relationship suicide. To do this we need to work at confining our response to stress so it doesn’t poison our feeling about our mate.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>10. Reaffirm your partnership often.</strong></span> It is important to remind yourself that you are allies in every struggle and challenge. Remind each other that you are there for your mate no matter what. If you make a mistake, being quick to apologize demonstrates your commitment to the partnership. Being forgiving has a similar effect. Regularly letting your partner sense how much you <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/" target="_blank">value the relationship</a> will help clear away any doubts caused by trying situations.</p>
<p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>11. Get help if you need it.</strong></span> When things get confusing, don’t be too proud or stubborn to seek qualified help. Sometimes we are so close to a situation that we lose our objectivity. An impartial third party like a <a href="http://breakthroughstrategycoaching.com/relationship-coaching/" target="_blank">relationship coach</a> can often see things much more clearly and provide valuable insight at just the right time. If we truly value our closest relationship then we should be willing to do whatever it takes to strengthen those special bonds of love and unity.</p>
<p><span style="color: #91532b;"><strong><em>Have you experienced an increase in relationship stress?<br />
How do you keep your relationship strong when faced with challenges?<br />
The lines are open!</em></strong></span></p>
<p><em>If you enjoyed this article, consider </em><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>email</em></a><em> or </em><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>RSS</em></a><em> updates!</em></p>
<p class="alert">Many relationships are under tremendous stress these days. If that is true for you, or if you are simply looking for some answers to your relationship challenges, I&#8217;ve got some <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/real-relationship-help/" target="_blank">real relationship help</a> that might interest you.</p>
<div id="crp_related"><h4>Related Articles:</h3><ul><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/are-you-building-trust-into-your-relationship/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Are You Building Trust into Your Relationship?</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/relationship-joy/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">3 Keys to Keeping the Joy in Your Relationship</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/your-closest-relationships/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Do You Truly Value Your Closest Relationships?</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/10-timeless-guidelines-for-a-happy-relationship/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">10 Timeless Guidelines for a Happy Relationship</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/building-a-happy-marriage/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Building a Happy Marriage</a></li></ul></div> <img src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-feed-statistics/feed-statistics.php?view=1&post_id=7441" width="1" height="1" style="display: none;" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>14</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>One Dozen Simple Stress Busters</title>
		<link>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/one-dozen-simple-stress-busters/</link>
		<comments>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/one-dozen-simple-stress-busters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:13:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jonathan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealing with stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eliminate stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress busters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress free]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress levels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stressed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stressed out]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=963</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Stress is such a pervasive part of life anymore that some people exist in an ongoing state of “fight or flight.” This is an extremely dangerous condition both emotionally and physically. Prolonged hyper adrenal activity will literally burn you out in a big way. As much as I appreciate articles on ways to unwind and relax after a stressful day, I think there is another issue that should also be addressed. Instead of just dealing with stress it is also important to get to the source of the problem, and to look for ways to eliminate stress before it even [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a class="post_image_link" href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/one-dozen-simple-stress-busters/" title="Permanent link to One Dozen Simple Stress Busters"><img class="post_image alignright" src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Stress-busters.jpg" width="210" height="295" alt="One Dozen Simple Stress Busters" /></a>
</p><p>Stress is such a pervasive part of life anymore that some people exist in an ongoing state of “fight or flight.” This is an extremely dangerous condition both emotionally and physically. Prolonged hyper adrenal activity will literally burn you out in a big way.</p>
<p>As much as I appreciate articles on ways to unwind and relax after a stressful day, I think there is another issue that should also be addressed. Instead of just dealing with stress it is also important to get to the source of the problem, and to look for ways to <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/100-ways-to-overcome-stress/" target="_blank">eliminate stress</a> before it even happens.</p>
<h3><strong>How can we do that?</strong></h3>
<p>By careful editing of your life, and by changing certain habits, you can greatly reduce feelings of stressfulness in your life. First off though, let’s forget about the concept of a totally stress free life. Why? Because some stress is unavoidable and must be dealt with, and because controlled amounts of stress can actually be very beneficial.</p>
<p>Stress is a response to challenges in life, and challenges create the environment for accomplishment and personal growth. In fact, a life without challenges is too boring to contemplate. However, I do believe that much of the stress we experience is unnecessary, and that it can be eliminated.</p>
<h3><strong>12 ways to cut unnecessary stress out of your life</strong></h3>
<p>1. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Identify sources of stress</strong>.</span> Identifying the things that leave you feeling stressed out unnecessarily is the first step toward eliminating them. Take a few minutes to think about <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/3-ways-to-reduce-feelings-of-stress/" target="_blank">what stresses you out</a> during the day. What weekly occurrences create irritation or anxiety? What people or activities cause undo tension in your life? Make a Top 10 sources of stress list and see which of them can be eliminated, and start to weed them out. For those that can’t be eliminated, look for ways to make them less stressful.</p>
<p>2. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Eliminate unnecessary commitments</strong>.</span> We all wear many different hats and have commitments in a variety of areas. But when we spread ourselves too thin because we’ve taken on too many commitments, feeling stressed is the inevitable result. We should view each commitment in relation to the level of value it provides compared to the amount of pressure it creates. If the <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/3-ways-to-reduce-feelings-of-stress/" target="_blank">stress outweighs the value</a> then something needs to change. Why not review all of your commitments according to these criteria and take steps to eliminate the ones that score too high on the stress-o-meter?</p>
<p>3. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Disorganization</strong>.</span> We’re all disorganized to some extent. Even if we’ve organized something, and created a great system for keeping it that way, things tend to move toward chaos over time. Eventually, disorganization happens and disorganization is stressful. For example, clutter makes it difficult to find the thing we need to be productive.  This is one that I struggle with, so I know firsthand that having to stop what I am doing to search for something can create loads of unnecessary stress. Taking the time to get things organized is always a better use of our energies.</p>
<p>4.<span style="color: #a47b32;"> <strong>Running late</strong>.</span> Being late is always a source of internal tension. When we are late then we can’t enjoy the process because we are too busy rushing around trying to catch up. Being early makes everything more enjoyable and completely eliminates this source of unnecessary tension. Being late is often the result of underestimating the amount of time required for some or all of the things we need to do. Try padding your schedule with an extra 10 minutes here and there to make it more realistic. One of the best places to gain the advantage is to go to bed earlier so you can get up earlier.</p>
<p>5. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Multitasking</strong>.</span> Having multiple tasks going on at the same time might seem productive, but in actuality it slows us down and destroys our ability to really <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/using-applied-focus-sessions-to-boost-productivity/" target="_blank">focus</a>. When we have to continually refocus our attention it disrupts the work flow and creates unnecessary pressure in our life. Wherever possible <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/full-presence-stomps-multitasking/" target="_blank">avoid the temptation to multitask</a>.</p>
<p>6. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Eliminate energy drains</strong>.</span> As you analyzed your life to identify the <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/balancing-stress-instead-of-being-consumed-by-it/" target="_blank">things that stress you out</a>, you probably also noticed some things that drain your energy. Let’s face it, certain things in life just cause us to be more exhausted than others, often with less value. Identify them and cut them out. You’ll have much more energy and feel much less stressed.</p>
<p>7.<span style="color: #a47b32;"> <strong>Avoid difficult people</strong>.</span> You know who they are. If you take a minute to think about it, you can identify all the people in your life — bosses, coworkers, customers, friends, family, etc. — who make your life more difficult. Now, you could confront them and do battle with them, but it would probably just make things even worse. Circumstances may not allow you to cut them all out of your life, but do it where you can. Simply reducing the number of difficult people in your life will go a long way in your efforts to reduce stressful influences in your life.</p>
<p>8. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Help others</strong>.</span> It may sound contradictory to add more tasks to your life by trying to help other people, especially since you already have more than enough to do.  But if you were to add anything to your life, this should be it. Helping others, on any level not only gives you a very good feeling, it somehow lowers your stress level.</p>
<p>9. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Pause to relax during the day</strong>.</span> It’s important to take mini-breaks during your work day. Stop what you’re doing, get up and stretch, walk around, drink some water. Go outside and appreciate the fresh air and the beautiful sky. Talk to someone you like. Life doesn’t have to be all about productivity. Avoid using online activity too much as a way to counteract your routine. It is much better to get away from the computer for a few minutes of active relaxation.</p>
<p>10.<span style="color: #a47b32;"> <strong>Get plenty of exercise.</strong></span> This is common advice for <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/doing-too-much-got-you-stressed-out/" target="_blank">stress relief</a>, and that’s because it works. In addition to relieving stress, exercise also helps prevent it. A fit person is better equipped to handle stressful situations and can avoid many health related situations that create stress on several levels. Fitness is an excellent way to reduce stress and to raise your tolerance levels.</p>
<p>11. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Eat healthy</strong>.</span> Obviously, this goes hand-in-hand with exercise as a stress prevention method. The healthier you are the less stressful life will feel. Food has a direct influence on your ability to cope with challenges. Good nutrition has both a calming and an energizing effect. Mental clarity and cognitive function are also nutrition related. Think of good food and exercise as an anti-stress prescription.</p>
<p>12. <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>Practice gratitude. </strong></span>This might not be as obvious as some of the others, but developing and maintaining the <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/allow-gratitude-to-transform-your-life/" target="_blank">attitude of gratitude</a> is an extremely powerful antidote to stress. By helping to eliminate negative thinking, gratitude and appreciation give you incredible leverage against negative influence of stressful thoughts and feelings. The more grateful you are, the more you will notice and appreciate the <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/can-positive-thinking-really-improve-your-life/" target="_blank">positive side of life</a>. In the presence of a grateful heart stress gets swept away and replaced with joy.</p>
<h3><strong>Take action and enjoy the benefits</strong></h3>
<p>Implementing even one of these tips into your life can make a significant difference in your stress levels. Why not start with the one that seems easiest for you, and then gradually add the others. Remember, much of the <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-turn-stress-into-success/" target="_blank">stress</a> in life can be eliminated or reduced. The benefits you receive will be well worth the effort required.</p>
<p><span style="color: #5c351b;"><strong><em>Do you have some anti-stress tips to share?<br />
How stressed out do you feel?<br />
The lines are open!</em></strong></span></p>
<p><em>If you enjoyed this article, consider </em><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>email</em></a><em> or </em><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>RSS</em></a><em> updates!</em></p>
<div id="crp_related"><h4>Related Articles:</h3><ul><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/10-ways-to-overcome-stress/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">10 Ways to Overcome Stress</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/3-ways-to-reduce-feelings-of-stress/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Are You Feeling Stressed Out?</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/balancing-stress-instead-of-being-consumed-by-it/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Balancing Stress Instead of Being Consumed by It</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/100-ways-to-overcome-stress/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">100 Ways to Overcome Stress</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-turn-stress-into-success/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">How to Turn Stress Into Success</a></li></ul></div> <img src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-feed-statistics/feed-statistics.php?view=1&post_id=963" width="1" height="1" style="display: none;" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>21</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Deal with Your Hidden Fears</title>
		<link>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-your-hidden-fears/</link>
		<comments>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-your-hidden-fears/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Sep 2011 14:51:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jonathan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fears]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[economic concerns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fearful energy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guilt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to deal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[panic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uncertainty]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1530</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you in touch with your fears, or have you hidden them in the dark recesses of your subconscious mind? We all harbor certain fears, and it can be an uncomfortable experience to pull them out into the open. Does it bother you to talk about your fears? Do you ever feel like you are the only one with those feelings? Would you be willing to coax those fears out of hiding if there was a chance of getting rid of them once and for all? Everyone is afraid of something At some point in time we have all allowed [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a class="post_image_link" href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-your-hidden-fears/" title="Permanent link to How to Deal with Your Hidden Fears"><img class="post_image alignright" src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/fearful.jpg" width="210" height="316" alt="How to Deal With Your Hidden Fears" /></a>
</p><p>Are you in touch with your fears, or have you hidden them in the dark recesses of your subconscious mind? We all harbor certain fears, and it can be an uncomfortable experience to pull them out into the open.</p>
<p>Does it bother you to talk about your fears? Do you ever feel like you are the only one with those feelings? Would you be willing to coax those <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/dealing-with-fear-at-the-source/" target="_blank">fears</a> out of hiding if there was a chance of getting rid of them once and for all?</p>
<h3><strong>Everyone is afraid of something</strong></h3>
<p>At some point in time we have all allowed our fears to get the best of us. Lately, the economic uncertainty and the related challenges have become an emotional breeding ground for new feelings of fear, anxiety, and insecurity. Can you relate to this?</p>
<p>Most hidden fears are some combination of guilt and panic. Why those two feelings? Well, let’s take the fear created by economic uncertainty as an example. If, because of unavoidable circumstances, you have lost your income and others depend on you, then it is easy to feel guilty for letting them down.  On top of that, it’s easy for feelings of panic to creep in because you can’t figure out a way to remedy the situation. See what I mean about guilt and panic, they are a deadly combination.</p>
<h3><strong>Drag those fearful feelings into the light</strong></h3>
<p>Here is something you need to remember, fearful energy is like a fungus that grows in darkness. As long as your feelings of  fear reside in the dark recesses of your subconscious mind they will continue to grow. If something isn’t done to correct the situation you may eventually begin to feel paralyzed by those feelings.</p>
<p>The way to combat the malignant growth of fearful energy is to stop avoiding it and pull it into the light where it can be examined and dealt with. Granted, this can feel extremely intimidating, but it’s nothing compared to the adverse effects allowing those <a href="../first-comes-the-fear-then-the-blessing/">fearful</a> feelings to continue expanding unchecked.</p>
<h3><strong>Fear runs on an emotional power source</strong></h3>
<p>Even though your fears are usually related to some personal challenge, they are not the same. Fear is an emotional response to the challenge, but it has an adverse effect on your ability to deal with the challenge in a resourceful way. That’s why the fearful feelings need to be dealt with first.</p>
<p>As long as your fears remain in hiding they are protected by a shield of negative emotional armor. Once you <a href="../courage-is-a-choice/">gather the courage</a> to pull them out into the open that shield weakens and becomes vulnerable to your powers of reason and logic. Now you can <a href="../use-questions-to-change-your-mindset/">use questions</a> to whittle those fearful feelings down to size.</p>
<blockquote><p>1) <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong><em>How does it serve me to allow these feelings into my life?</em></strong></span><br />
2) <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong><em>Does holding this fear help me overcome my challenge?</em></strong></span><br />
3) <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong><em>Is there any logical reason not to let go of this fear?</em></strong></span><br />
4) <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong><em>Can I choose to reframe the fear energy into motivation?</em></strong></span><br />
5) <span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong><em>Can I do that right now?</em></strong></span></p></blockquote>
<p>What just happened? With just a few logical questions you have stopped a giant energy leak and made those resources available for finding a solution to your challenge. Yes, the challenge is still there, but now you are in a much more resourceful state to deal with it. From here, make a plan to deal with the challenge and start taking action. The more action you take the more resourceful and less fearful you will be.</p>
<h3><strong>Be proactive when dealing with your feelings of fear</strong></h3>
<p>Fear comes in all shapes and sizes: When left unchecked it can put a stranglehold on our lives and relationships. When we are under the influence of fear it robs us of the very resources that can help us overcome the underlying problem. Clearly, leaving your <a href="../don%E2%80%99t-let-fear-get-in-your-way/" target="_blank">fears</a> alone does not mean that they will leave you alone. Better to deal with them.</p>
<p>Hidden fear can have a paralyzing effect on your life, and it can surface when you least expect it. A life of true happiness and security is only possible if we have <a href="../neutralize-fear/">the courage to face our fears</a> and overcome them. I hope this information has been helpful.</p>
<p><span style="color: #91532b;"><strong><em>Are you currently dealing with any hidden fears?<br />
Did you discover something that needs to be dealt with?<br />
The lines are open!</em></strong></span></p>
<p><em>If you enjoyed this article, consider </em><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>email</em></a><em> or </em><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>RSS</em></a><em> updates!</em></p>
<p class="alert">Want a blueprint for reframing fearful energy into motivation and excitement? This process is clearly outlined in section five of my book, <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/true-self-amazon/" target="_blank">TRUE SELF</a>. That section covers the <a href="../7-vital-connections-making-up-your-true-self/">Power Connection</a> on the True Self Connection Wheel.</p>
<div id="crp_related"><h4>Related Articles:</h3><ul><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/don%e2%80%99t-let-fear-get-in-your-way/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Don’t Let Fear Get In Your Way</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/dealing-with-fear-at-the-source/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Dealing With Fear At the Source</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/courage-is-a-choice/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Courage is a Choice</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/first-comes-the-fear-then-the-blessing/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">First Comes the Fear Then the Blessing</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/fear-lessons/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Fear Lessons from a Bear, Rattlesnake, &#038; New Yorker</a></li></ul></div> <img src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-feed-statistics/feed-statistics.php?view=1&post_id=1530" width="1" height="1" style="display: none;" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>24</slash:comments>
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		<title>More Pleasure &#8211; Less Pain</title>
		<link>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/more-pleasure-less-pain/</link>
		<comments>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/more-pleasure-less-pain/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Jul 2011 13:17:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jonathan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[desire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Focus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perception]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pleasurable]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pleasure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[public speaking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=21</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are a couple of things that I’d like to clarify regarding our emotional desire to seek pleasure and avoid pain.  It’s not the actual pain or pleasure that drives us, it is really something else. Any idea what that is? Our desire to avoid pain is really based on fear. What fear? The fear of taking any action that feels like it might lead to pain. Likewise, it’s not the actual pleasure that motivates us to take action, but our belief that a certain action will lead to a pleasurable experience. So, our movement in either direction is a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a class="post_image_link" href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/more-pleasure-less-pain/" title="Permanent link to More Pleasure &#8211; Less Pain"><img class="post_image alignright" src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/pain-pleasure.png" width="216" height="243" alt="More Pleasure - Less Pain" /></a>
</p><p>There are a couple of things that I’d like to clarify regarding our emotional desire to seek pleasure and avoid pain.  It’s not the actual <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/pleasure-pain-paradigms/" target="_blank">pain or pleasure</a> that drives us, it is really something else. Any idea what that is?</p>
<p>Our desire to avoid pain is really based on fear. What fear? The fear of taking any action that feels like it might lead to pain.</p>
<p>Likewise, it’s not the actual pleasure that motivates us to take action, but our <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-your-beliefs-create-your-reality-part-1/" target="_blank">belief</a> that a certain action will lead to a pleasurable experience. So, our movement in either direction is a response to our perception of where that action will lead.</p>
<h3><strong>The power of anticipation and anxiety</strong></h3>
<p>Have you ever noticed that the anticipation of the pain we think might result from a certain action is generally much worse than the actual experience?  Here’s an example, if you’ve ever done any public speaking it’s usually the 10 or 15 minutes just before you get on stage that creates the greatest anxiety.</p>
<p>You may experience all kinds of symptoms like an increased heart rate, a rise in body temperature and a nauseous feeling in your stomach.  At this point are any of these symptoms the result of actual public speaking? No, they are caused by your estimation of what the experience will be like, not by the actual activity.</p>
<p>Speaking from my own personal experiences and those of other public speakers that I know, everyone agrees that the anxiety that comes before hand generally vanishes as soon as they begin speaking.  Anxiety of course, is a form of <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/life-skills-and-the-fear-factor/" target="_blank">fear</a>.</p>
<h3><strong>Where does the fear come from?</strong></h3>
<p>There are so many different kinds of fear that it is impossible to label them all, but it is possible to identify where they all come from. The reason we can do that is because fear is always related to one or more of these three primary human desires.</p>
<blockquote><p><span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong>1) A desire for approval<br />
2) A desire for control<br />
3) A desire to feel secure</strong></span></p></blockquote>
<p>If you examine any fear, whether it’s the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of loss, you will discover that, on an emotional level, it represents a perceived threat to our sense of approval, sense of control, or sense of security.</p>
<h3><strong>Fear grows or shrinks with focus</strong></h3>
<p>Take the example of our public speaker.  Once he gets on stage and focuses on his topic, he can settle down and enjoy the experience.  But during the 10 to 15 minutes before he gets on stage, he is not thinking about his topic, instead he is focused on himself.  He is wondering if he’ll have the approval of his audience, if he’ll have control of his voice and body language, and the anxiety is making him feel insecure.</p>
<p>The solution is to focus on the outcome, the feeling of satisfaction and approval that will come from a job well done.  By visualizing a pleasurable outcome there is a complete shift the focus.  Excitement replaces anxiety and the expectation of pleasure replaces fear.  Moving toward a pleasurable outcome is a pleasurable experience so it is one we can look forward to.</p>
<h3><strong>Choosing less pain and more pleasure</strong></h3>
<p>Now we can see that one way to avoid pain and move toward pleasure is simply to <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-focus-defines-our-life/" target="_blank">change our focus</a>.  In our example, a short-term focus created pain in the form of fear and anxiety, while a long-term focus turned the whole experience into a pleasurable one.</p>
<p>Once we understand the relationship between focus and pain or pleasure, we can easily change our perception of any experience.  By <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/using-applied-focus-sessions-to-boost-productivity/" target="_blank">controlling your focus</a> you give yourself the ability to decide whether an experience will be painful or pleasurable. Then you can choose pleasure over pain.</p>
<p><strong><em><span style="color: #450203;">Can you think of time when… </span><br />
~ <span style="color: #450203;">The anxiety was worse than the reality?</span><br />
<span style="color: #450203;">~ The anticipation was better than the reality?</span><br />
<span style="color: #450203;"> ~ The reality never happened and the fear was for nothing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #450203;"> The lines are open!</span></em></strong></p>
<blockquote><p>This is part 2 in a 3 part series of articles dealing with pain and pleasure paradigms.  If it seems like I started in the middle of the story, check out…<br />
Part 1: <a href="../pleasure-pain-paradigms/" target="_blank">The Power of Pain and Pleasure Paradigms</a><br />
Part 3: <a href="../more-pleasure-less-pain-again/">Creating Your own Pain and Pleasure Paradigms</a></p></blockquote>
<p><em>If you enjoyed this article, consider </em><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>email</em></a><em> or </em><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>RSS</em></a><em> updates!</em></p>
<p class="alert">My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (<a href="http://BreakthroughStrategyCoaching.com" target="_blank">coaching</a> is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/true-self-amazon/" target="_blank">TRUE SELF</a> will guide you smoothly through the process.</p>
<div id="crp_related"><h4>Related Articles:</h3><ul><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/pleasure-pain-paradigms/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">The Power of Pain and Pleasure Paradigms</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/more-pleasure-less-pain-again/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Creating Your own Pain and Pleasure Paradigms</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/belief-systems-part-3/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Belief Systems &#8211; Part 3</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-beliefs-effect-self-esteem/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">How Beliefs affect Self-Esteem</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/are-self-esteem-issues-holding-you-back/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Are Self-Esteem Issues Holding You Back?</a></li></ul></div> <img src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-feed-statistics/feed-statistics.php?view=1&post_id=21" width="1" height="1" style="display: none;" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Where Does Disappointment Come From?</title>
		<link>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/where-does-disappointment-come-from/</link>
		<comments>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/where-does-disappointment-come-from/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Jun 2009 22:38:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jonathan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Attitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anticipation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Disappointment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional response]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[excitement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[expectation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1899</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There is no two ways about it; we have all experienced disappointment before. We’ve been disappointed in ourselves, others, outcomes, the weather, our job, and just about anything else we can think of. So, here’s my question: Why? It’s a simple enough question! Why do we get disappointed? Is it because people and situations let us down? Well, I know that’s the way it feels sometimes, but that is not why we get disappointed. In reality, disappointment has nothing to do with other people, places, or circumstances. The fact is, disappointment never originates with an external source. All disappointment comes [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a class="post_image_link" href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/where-does-disappointment-come-from/" title="Permanent link to Where Does Disappointment Come From?"><img class="post_image alignright" src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/rainy-vacation.jpg" width="249" height="361" alt="Where Does Disappointment Come From?" /></a>
</p><p>There is no two ways about it; we have all experienced disappointment before. We’ve been disappointed in ourselves, others, outcomes, the weather, our job, and just about anything else we can think of.</p>
<h3><strong>So, here’s my question: Why?</strong></h3>
<p>It’s a simple enough question! <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/key-ingredient-of-true-happiness/" target="_blank">Why do we get disappointed</a>? Is it because people and situations let us down? Well, I know that’s the way it feels sometimes, but that is not why we get disappointed.</p>
<p>In reality, disappointment has nothing to do with other people, places, or circumstances. The fact is, disappointment never originates with an external source.</p>
<h3><strong>All disappointment comes from the same source</strong></h3>
<p>Can you guess what that source is? I’ll give you a hint, it’s internal. That’s right; we are the source of our own disappointment. OK, I know what you’re thinking…</p>
<p>If the weather turns bad while I’m on vacation, what does that have to do with me? And if the new car I just bought is a lemon, how is that from an internal source? I don’t control the weather, and I didn’t build the car, so how can I be responsible for the disappointment involved?</p>
<p>To answer those questions, we must first identify what disappointment really is. Is it the weather? Is it a car? Is disappointment any kind of a person, place, thing, or situation? No, it’s none of those.</p>
<h3><strong>Well then, what is it? </strong></h3>
<p>You know what it is – it’s a feeling! And where do feelings come from? There internal, right? They are an emotional response that we create. In the case of feeling disappointed, it’s our emotional response to EXPECTATION. That’s right; expectation is the basis for all disappointment.</p>
<p>We get disappointed when things fail to live up to our expectations. We don’t go to Hawaii to bask in the rain, and we don’t spend tens of thousands of dollars on a new car so we can have mechanical problems. We tend to attach expectation to almost everything in life and this means disappointment becomes a distinct possibility.</p>
<h3><strong>The role of expectation</strong></h3>
<p>Giving up on expectation so we won’t be disappointed is not really a viable option. Much of our excitement and enthusiasm in life comes from <a href="../how-to-expect-the-best/" target="_blank">eager expectation</a>. We look forward to things when we anticipate a desirable outcome. In fact, often times that excitement makes up a large percentage of the joy we experience.</p>
<p>Expectation can also work the other way. If we are anticipating a painful outcome we don’t call it excitement, do we? No, we call it anxiety. In the case of a negative expectation (anxiety), then we are glad when things don’t turn out the way we expected. It’s a relief instead of a disappointment.</p>
<h3><strong>So how do we avoid feeling disappointed?</strong></h3>
<p>That’s a really good question. There are a number of adjustments we can make to reduce our feelings of disappointment without sacrificing enthusiasm. Here are three:</p>
<p>1.<span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong> Accept wider parameters.</strong></span> When our expectations fall within parameters that are too narrow then the likelihood that we will experience disappointment goes way up. For example, if you go to Hawaii during the winter accept the fact that you will probably have some rainy days. <a href="../do-you-have-a-plan-of-action/" target="_blank">Plan</a> some non beach activities around those days and you’ll be covered. On the other hand, if having a good time requires that everyday be between 78-83 degrees with cloudless skies, that’s just asking to be disappointed. So loosening up on your expectations a bit reduces the chance of disappointment.</p>
<p>2.<span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong> Live in the moment.</strong></span> Viewing your life as an adventure allows you to enjoy the greatest variety of experiences. You still have the expectation of adventure, but you haven’t hemmed it into a preconceived package. Instead, you have made yourself open to just about anything that comes along and your enthusiasm remains high. Life is always a experience, cherish that and you’ll <a href="../the-get-happy-now-secret/" target="_blank">enjoy</a> the ride.</p>
<p>3.<span style="color: #a47b32;"><strong> Value learning.</strong></span> There are valuable lessons in every experience we have. How do you feel about these <a href="../3-simple-questions-that-will-change-your-life/" target="_blank">life lessons</a>. Truth be told, some of our most profound learning comes from situations that didn’t turn out the way we thought they would. Much of the time we get what we need rather than what we want. If learning and growing is a top priority for us, we will find reasons to appreciate a wide range outcomes and experiences.</p>
<h3><strong>It’s all about attitude!</strong></h3>
<p>In the long run, it’s mostly up to us to decide what value we place on any experience. If we are looking for disappointment, that’s what we are going to find. Things don’t always turn out the way we might like, that’s a fact we all live with. Being enthusiastic and full of eager anticipation makes life fun and exciting. Learning to <a href="../finding-joy-in-the-journey/" target="_blank">love the journey</a> is the best defense against the dark cloud of feeling disappointed.</p>
<p><span style="color: #580308;"><strong><em>Did you have something to add?<br />
The lines are open!</em></strong></span><em> </em></p>
<p><em>If you enjoyed this article, consider </em><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>email</em></a><em> or </em><a href="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/advancedlifeskills/MClm" target="_blank"><em>RSS</em></a><em> updates!</em></p>
<p class="note">My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (<a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/coaching/" target="_blank">coaching</a> is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/true-self-amazon/" target="_blank">TRUE SELF</a> will guide you smoothly through the process.</p>
<div id="crp_related"><h4>Related Articles:</h3><ul><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/do-you-have-glory-day-syndrome/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Do You Have Glory Day Syndrome?</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-beliefs-effect-self-esteem/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">How Beliefs affect Self-Esteem</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/what-does-midlife-mean-to-you/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">What Does Midlife Mean to You?</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/sailing-on-the-sea-of-life/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">Sailing on the Sea of Life</a></li><li><a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/key-ingredient-of-true-happiness/" rel="bookmark" class="crp_title">A key Ingredient of True Happiness</a></li></ul></div> <img src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-feed-statistics/feed-statistics.php?view=1&post_id=1899" width="1" height="1" style="display: none;" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>34</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>How to Deal With Anxiety and Panic Attacks</title>
		<link>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-anxiety-and-panic-attacks/</link>
		<comments>http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-anxiety-and-panic-attacks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:11:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jonathan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fears]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depressed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[panic attacks]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1225</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Anxiety is defined as a state of apprehension or fear resulting from the anticipation of a real or imagined threat, event, or situation. It is one of the most common human emotions experienced by people at some point in their lives. However, most people who have never experienced a panic attack, or extreme anxiety, fail to realize the terrifying nature of the experience. Extreme dizziness, blurred vision, tingling and feelings of breathlessness—and that’s just the tip of the iceberg! When these sensations occur and people do not understand why, they feel they have contracted an illness, or a serious mental [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a class="post_image_link" href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-anxiety-and-panic-attacks/" title="Permanent link to How to Deal With Anxiety and Panic Attacks"><img class="post_image alignnone" src="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/feel-anxiety.jpg" width="507" height="236" alt="How to Deal With Anxiety and Panic Attacks " /></a>
</p><p>Anxiety is defined as a state of apprehension or fear resulting from the anticipation of a real or imagined threat, event, or situation. It is one of the most common human emotions experienced by people at some point in their lives.</p>
<p>However, most people who have never experienced a panic attack, or extreme anxiety, fail to realize the terrifying nature of the experience. Extreme dizziness, blurred vision, tingling and feelings of breathlessness—and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!</p>
<p>When these sensations occur and people do not understand why, they feel they have contracted an illness, or a serious mental condition. The threat of losing complete control seems very real and naturally very terrifying. Fight/Flight Response: One of the root causes of panic attacks?</p>
<p>I am sure most of you have heard of the fight/flight response as an explanation for one of the root causes of panic attacks. Have you made the connection between this response and the unusual sensations you experience during and after a panic attack episode?</p>
<p>Anxiety is a response to a danger or threat. It is so named because all of its effects are aimed toward either fighting or fleeing from the danger. Thus, the sole purpose of anxiety is to protect the individual from harm. This may seem ironic given that you no doubt feel your anxiety is actually causing you great harm…perhaps the most significant of all the causes of panic attacks.</p>
<p>However, the anxiety that the fight/flight response created was vital in the daily survival of our ancient ancestors—when faced with some danger, an automatic response would take over that propelled them to take immediate action such as attack or run. Even in today’s hectic world, this is still a necessary mechanism. It comes in useful when you must respond to a real threat within a split second.</p>
<p>Anxiety is a built-in mechanism to protect us from danger. Interestingly, it is a mechanism that protects but does not harm—an important point that will be elaborated upon later.<br />
<span style="color: #20273b;"><br />
<strong>The Physical Manifestations of a Panic Attack:</strong></span> Other pieces of the puzzle to understand the causes of panic attacks. Nervousness and Chemical Effects…When confronted with danger, the brain sends signals to a section of the nervous system. It is this system that is responsible for gearing the body up for action and also calms the body down and restores equilibrium. To carry out these two vital functions, the autonomic nervous system has two subsections, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system.</p>
<p>Although I don’t want to become too “scientific,” having a basic understanding of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system will help you understand the causes of panic attacks.</p>
<p>The sympathetic nervous system is the one we tend to know all too much about because it primes our body for action, readies us for the “fight or flight” response, while the parasympathetic nervous system is the one we love dearly as it serves as our restoring system, which returns the body to its normal state.</p>
<p>When either of these systems is activated, they stimulate the whole body, which has an “all or nothing” effect. This explains why when a panic attack occurs the individual often feels a number of different sensations throughout the body.</p>
<p>The sympathetic system is responsible for releasing the adrenaline from the adrenal glands on the kidneys. These are small glands located just above the kidneys. Less known, however, is that the adrenal glands also release adrenaline, which functions as the body’s chemical messengers to keep the activity going. When a panic attack begins, it does not switch off as easily as it is turned on. There is always a period of what would seem increased or continued anxiety, as these messengers travel throughout the body. Think of them as one of the physiological causes of panic attacks, if you will.</p>
<p>After a period of time, the parasympathetic nervous system gets called into action. Its role is to return the body to normal functioning once the perceived danger is gone. The parasympathetic system is the system we all know and love, because it returns us to a calm relaxed state.</p>
<p>When we engage in a coping strategy that we have learned, for example, a relaxation technique, we are in fact willing the parasympathetic nervous system into action. A good thing to remember is that this system will be brought into action at some stage whether we will it or not. The body cannot continue in an ever-increasing spiral of anxiety. It reaches a point where it simply must kick in, relaxing the body. This is one of the many built-in protection systems our bodies have for survival.</p>
<p>You can do your best with worrying thoughts, keeping the sympathetic nervous system going, but eventually it stops. In time, it becomes a little smarter than us, and realizes that there really is no danger. Our bodies are incredibly intelligent—modern science is always discovering amazing patterns of intelligence that run throughout the cells of our body. Our body seems to have infinite ways of dealing with the most complicated array of functions we take for granted. Rest assured that your body’s primary goal is to keep you alive and well.</p>
<h3><strong>Not so convinced?</strong></h3>
<p>Try holding your breath for as long as you can. No matter how strong your mental will is, it can never override the will of the body. This is good news—no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you are going to die from a panic attack, you won’t. Your body will override that fear and search for a state of balance. There has never been a reported incident of someone dying from a panic attack.</p>
<p>Remember this next time you have a panic attack; he causes of panic attacks cannot do you any physical harm. Your mind may make the sensations continue longer than the body intended, but eventually everything will return to a state of balance. In fact, balance (homeostasis) is what our body continually strives for.</p>
<p>The interference for your body is nothing more than the sensations of doing rigorous exercise. Our body is not alarmed by these symptoms. Why should it be? It knows its own capability. It’s our thinking minds that panic, which overreact and scream in sheer terror! We tend to fear the worst and exaggerate our own sensations. A quickened heart beat becomes a heart attack. An overactive mind seems like a close shave with schizophrenia. Is it our fault? Not really—we are simply diagnosing from poor information.</p>
<p><span style="color: #20273b;"><strong>Cardiovascular Effects:</strong></span> Activity in the sympathetic nervous system increases our heartbeat rate, speeds up the blood flow throughout the body, ensures all areas are well supplied with oxygen and that waste products are removed. This happens in order to prime the body for action.</p>
<p>A fascinating feature of the “fight or flight” mechanism is that blood (which is channeled from areas where it is currently not needed by a tightening of the blood vessels) is brought to areas where it is urgently needed. For example, should there be a physical attack, blood drains from the skin, fingers, and toes so that less blood is lost, and is moved to “active areas” such as the thighs and biceps to help the body prepare for action.</p>
<p>This is why many feel numbness and tingling during a panic attack-often misinterpreted as some serious health risk-such as the precursor to a heart attack. Interestingly, most people who suffer from anxiety often feel they have heart problems. If you are really worried that such is the case with your situation, visit your doctor and have it checked out. At least then you can put your mind at rest.</p>
<p><span style="color: #20273b;"><strong>Respiratory Effects</strong>:</span> One of the scariest effects of a panic attack is the fear of suffocating or smothering. It is very common during a panic attack to feel tightness in the chest and throat. I’m sure everyone can relate to some fear of losing control of your breathing. From personal experience, anxiety grows from the fear that your breathing itself would cease and you would be unable to recover. Can a panic attack stop our breathing? No.</p>
<p>A panic attack is associated with an increase in the speed and depth of breathing. This has obvious importance for the defense of the body since the tissues need to get more oxygen to prepare for action. The feelings produced by this increase in breathing, however, can include breathlessness, hyperventilation, sensations of choking or smothering, and even pains or tightness in the chest. The real problem is that these sensations are alien to us, and they feel unnatural.</p>
<p>Having experienced extreme panic attacks myself, I remember that on many occasions, I would have this feeling that I couldn’t trust my body to do the breathing for me, so I would have to manually take over and tell myself when to breathe in and when to breathe out. Of course, this didn’t suit my body’s requirement of oxygen and so the sensations would intensify—along with the anxiety. It was only when I employed the technique I will describe for you later, did I let the body continue doing what it does best—running the whole show.</p>
<p>Importantly, a side effect of increased breathing (especially if no actual activity occurs) is that the blood supply to the head is actually decreased. While such a decrease is only a small amount and is not at all dangerous, it produces a variety of unpleasant but harmless symptoms that include dizziness, blurred vision, confusion, sense of unreality, and hot flushes.<br />
<span style="color: #20273b;"><br />
<strong>Other Physical Effects of Panic Attacks</strong></span> <span style="color: #20273b;">:</span> Now that we’ve discussed some of the primary physiological causes of panic attacks, there are a number of other effects that are produced by the activation of the sympathetic nervous system, none of which are in any way harmful.</p>
<p>For example, the pupils widen to let in more light, which may result in blurred vision, or “seeing” stars, etc. There is a decrease in salivation, resulting in dry mouth. There is decreased activity in the digestive system, which often produces nausea, a heavy feeling in the stomach, and even constipation. Finally, many of the muscle groups tense up in preparation for “fight or flight,” and this results in subjective feelings of tension, sometimes extending to actual aches and pains, as well as trembling and shaking.</p>
<p>Overall, the fight/flight response results in a general activation of the whole bodily metabolism. Thus, one often feels hot and flushed and, because this process takes a lot of energy, the person generally feels tired and drained.</p>
<p><span style="color: #20273b;"><strong>Mental Manifestations</strong>:</span> Are the causes of panic attacks all in my head? is a question many people wonder to themselves.</p>
<p>The goal of the fight/flight response is making the individual aware of the potential danger that may be present. Therefore, when activated, the mental priority is placed upon searching the surroundings for potential threats. In this state one is highly-strung, so to speak. It is very difficult to concentrate on any one activity, as the mind has been trained to seek all potential threats and not to give up until the threat has been identified. As soon as the panic hits, many people look for the quick and easiest exit from their current surroundings, such as by simply leaving the bank queue and walking outside. Sometimes the anxiety can heighten, if we perceive that leaving will cause some sort of social embarrassment.</p>
<p>If you have a panic attack while at the workplace but feel you must press on with whatever task it is you are doing, it is quite understandable that you would find it very hard to concentrate. It is quite common to become agitated and generally restless in such a situation. Many individuals I have worked with who have suffered from panic attacks over the years indicated that artificial light—such as that which comes from computer monitors and televisions screens—can be one of the causes of panic attacks by triggering them or worsen a panic attack, particularly if the person is feeling tired or run down.</p>
<p>This is worth bearing in mind if you work for long periods of time on a computer. Regular break reminders should be set up on your computer to remind you to get up from the desk and get some fresh air when possible.</p>
<p>In other situations, when during a panic attack an outside threat cannot normally be found, the mind turns inwards and begins to contemplate the possible illness the body or mind could be suffering from. This ranges from thinking it might have been something you ate at lunch, to the possibility of an oncoming cardiac arrest.</p>
<p>The burning question is: Why is the fight/flight response activated during a panic attack even when there is apparently nothing to be frightened of?</p>
<p>Upon closer examination of the causes of panic attacks, it would appear that what we are afraid of are the sensations themselves—we are afraid of the body losing control. These unexpected physical symptoms create the fear or panic that something is terribly wrong. Why do you experience the physical symptoms of the fight/flight response if you are not frightened to begin with? There are many ways these symptoms can manifest themselves, not just through fear.</p>
<p>For example, it may be that you have become generally stressed for some reason in your life, and this stress results in an increase in the production of adrenaline and other chemicals, which from time to time, would produce symptoms….and which you perceive as the causes of panic attacks.</p>
<p>This increased adrenaline can be maintained chemically in the body, even after the stress has long gone. Another possibility is diet, which directly affects our level of stress. Excess caffeine, alcohol, or sugar is known for causing stress in the body, and is believed to be one of the contributing factors of the causes of panic attacks.</p>
<p>Unresolved emotions are often pointed to as possible trigger of panic attacks, but it is important to point out that eliminating panic attacks from your life does not necessarily mean analyzing your psyche and digging into your subconscious. The “One Move” technique will teach you to deal with the present moment and defuse the attack along with removing the underlying anxiety that sparks the initial anxiety. © Joe Berry</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #20273b;">Learn more:</span> </strong>Joe Barry is the author of this article and an international panic disorder coach. Visit <a href="http://SharingLifeSkills.com/blog/panic-away/" target="_blank">his informative site</a> to learn more about issues related to panic and anxiety attacks and how to solve them naturally.</p>
<p class="note"><span style="color: #333333;"><strong><em>Editor’s note: </em></strong></span>Joe Berry’s success in dealing with all forms of Anxiety Disorder is very impressive. If you or a loved one struggles with anxiety I hope this information is helpful&#8230; <a href="http://SharingLifeSkills.com/blog/panic-away/" target="_blank"><em>Learn more</em></a></p>
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		<description><![CDATA[This video is about a form of tapping called EFT. It works on chronic pain, stress, anxiety, weight loss, emotional trauma and just about anything else that you can think of. I was impressed and thought you might be also Click Here to Learn More - This truly works on everything. Related Articles:Attitude Makes All The DifferenceRelax and EnjoyOnly great minds can read thisTwo Views of Father&#8217;s DayThe Power Of Belief]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p><span style="font-size: 13pt; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">This video is about a form of tapping called EFT. It works on chronic pain, stress, anxiety, weight loss, emotional trauma and just about anything else that you can think of. I was impressed and thought you might be also</span><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="355" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uMs0gdF_V60&amp;hl=en" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="355" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uMs0gdF_V60&amp;hl=en" wmode="transparent"></embed></object></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><a href="http://www.tryitoneverything.com/cmd.php?af=765035" target="_blank">Click Here to Learn More </a>- This truly works on everything.</span></p>
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