I have just returned from a memorial service for a dear friend who passed away just before the weekend. Have you ever noticed how much the death of someone close gets you thinking about your own life? I think it’s good to reflect on how our own life is going, and consider where we are, and where we are headed.

As I looked around the room at all the people who came to honor this amazing lady, I thought about how she added value to the lives of so many. There was about a hundred people there, and she had touched the heart of each of them in some way. Isn’t that a wonderful testimony to a life lived well?

Don’t we all want to be remembered like that?

I actually found myself asking: “If my life ended right now, how would I be remembered?” What would people say about my personality, my work, or my contribution? Would they feel better for having knowing me? Would the conversation bring a smile to their faces?

Does that seem like a weird thing to think about? I believe that this kind of thinking has value, and here’s why.

If you don’t like the answers, you can still change them!

You see, once we are gone it is too late to do anything about how we will be remembered. But we’re not gone, and we can still choose what kind of lasting impression we make on the people in our life.

Never, ever, feel helpless when it comes to changing the way others perceive you, or your perception of yourself. You can become whoever you want to become, once you make a decision to change. We all have huge amounts of untapped potential just waiting to be released.

Most of our limits exist only in our head

My friend Jeff Nickles recently wrote an article called: Unleashing Your Dreams: Living Up To Your Full Potential. In it, he makes this comment, “Cut loose your full potential on the world and see what happens.” What do you think would happen if you actually did that? Do you think it would change people’s perception of you? Do you think it would change the way they remembered you? Absolutely!

It would also completely change the way you see yourself, your sense of personal identity. This is because your true self knows what you are capable of, and longs to unleash the power necessary to achieve your goals and dreams.

So what it comes down to is this: Do you want to be the best you can be, or are you willing to settle for some watered down version of yourself? If you said “the best you can be,” then you need to come up with a plan to make it happen.

Here’s a little exercise to help you find direction.

Write the Book of You

Sit down with pen and paper, and briefly recount all the high points of your life that brought you to where you are today. Now fill in the rest of the story exactly the way you want it to turn out. Write in the first person as if it had already happened and you’re doing a biography of your own life.

Make it vivid by including the details and feelings for each of your accomplishments and experiences. Don’t impose limits on yourself. Write the story of how you unleashed your full potential and experienced you life to the full. Get fully involved in the story and let it reflect the incredible joy and satisfaction of a truly rewarding life experience.

Are you inspired?

If you do the exercise, I guarantee you will be inspired, but then what? Obviously, inspiration needs to be acted on or nothing will change. Well this the exact subject that my friend Mike King covered so well in an article called: 8 Steps for Acting on Inspiration. In it, he walks you through some very effective ways to make a timely transition from inspiration to action. I suggest you have a look.

How will you be remembered?

The truth is, you will be remembered the same way you lived. So the real question is, how will you choose to live? It’s a decision that only you can make and the sooner you make it, the sooner your life goes from ordinary to extraordinary.

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When it comes to manifesting our dreams and accomplishing our goals, there are three vital components that deserve our attention. Before we get into that, ask yourself the following question:

Am I actively moving in the direction of my goals and dreams each and every day?

Everybody has dreams and most people have goals. If you want your goals and dreams to become reality, you must move toward them consistently and purposefully. By nature, we always begin with distance between where we are and where we want to be. Our job is to narrow that distance until it no longer exists. To accomplish that, we need to draw our goals and dreams closer to us, while simultaneously moving toward them.

Some people attempt to attract their goals without taking much action. Others choose to act on their goals, but without the added advantage of also drawing those goals to them. Action alone can bring positive results, but it is much faster to combine the two techniques.

For the sake of clarity, let’s differentiate between dreams and wishful thinking. In some conversations, the two might be interchangeable. Not so in this case. When I talk about dreams, I am really talking about highly desirable goals, future realities that we fully intend to realize. For our purposes, a dream is something that we are willing to work toward, and are determined to manifest, just like a goal.

What kind of life do you dream about?

When you project your thoughts into the future, how do you see things? Do you see a variety of positive changes across the full spectrum of your life? Do you see yourself healthier, wealthier, and wiser? Are you willing to move toward that vision in order to realize it?

If so, then this is really a highly desirable goal, and that is exactly the kind of dream we are talking about today.

3 ways to move toward the realization of our dreams

1) Total clarity. Before we do anything else, we need to clearly define exactly what our dream or goal is. This is not the time to deal in generalities; we need to be very specific. One of the best ways for you to get really clear is to write down a detailed description of exactly what you want to accomplish.

Writing things down requires that we get a well defined mental image first. The very process of putting our thoughts into words creates clarity. This clarity will help you to form a vivid mental image that you can carry around with you 24 hours a day. Most of the time your personal reference to your new goal will be that mental image, but you will also be able to refer back to the written description to help you maintain clarity.

One of the most powerful things you can include when writing down your goals and dreams is how they make you feel. The feelings you attach to the things you intend to accomplish are your greatest source of motivation and energy. So, be sure to include your feelings in your written description. Think carefully about each aspect of this future reality. How does it make you feel? What emotional anchors resonate with each detail? Write them down.

As you read back through your written description, allow yourself to experience those feelings and get emotionally involved in the picture. When you conjure up this mental image of how your life is going to be, fully experience it on an emotional level. This is the true power of having clearly defined goals, and identifying your emotional attachments to them.

2) Take action. Now that you can see and feel your goal with clarity, it’s time to begin moving toward it. What steps do you need to take to move you closer to realizing this dream? What sequence do those steps need to be in to produce your intended result? What action can you take each and every day to keep you moving in the right direction? Once again, writing these things down will produce clarity. It is much easier to take action when you know what actions need to be taken.

Reaching your goals means that you need to take the proper actions at the right time. There is a natural sequence that will produce your intended result. Following the right sequence allows events to unfold in a very productive way. Always take time to create an action plan. Not only will it keep you moving in the right direction, but it will also allow you to anticipate what comes next.

Of course, we can’t anticipate everything, and we need to be willing to make adjustments along the way. That’s the beauty of having an action plan, it allows us to be flexible without getting too far off course. So, even though we will need to make minor adjustments, a plan keeps us heading in the right direction until we reach our goal.

3) Attract your dream to you. Now that you know exactly where you are going, how you feel about it, and how you are going to get there, what’s next? When we started out there was distance between you and the goal you are working toward. You have been actively closing that distance by moving toward your vision for the future. Now, it’s time to draw your dream toward you.

How can you do that? It’s really just a matter of perspective. Up until now, you have been projecting yourself into this vision that exists in the future, but let’s reverse that. Instead of projecting yourself into a future reality, allow yourself to receive that reality in the present tense.

See yourself as stationary and your goal as something that moves toward you, and then surrounds and engulfs you. Wrap yourself up in it like a giant blanket. Feel the joy of receiving that vision. Imagine how wonderful it feels to have the reality of that vision totally permeate your life right now. Feel it in the here and now.

Here are a couple of examples:

*** If part of your dream was a beautiful new home, don’t see it from the outside; see yourself in the middle of that beautiful dream house. See yourself living there, going about your daily activities, feeling completely at home and comfortable. See yourself as a full participant, not a spectator.

*** If you have been actively moving toward a new career, visualize yourself actually performing the duties of that career. Again, don’t see it from the outside as a spectator would. If your new career involves a desk, a computer, and a telephone, put yourself there. Look at the screen, answer the phone, lean back in that amazingly comfortable leather chair – participate!

Always harness the power of a 3 dimensional approach

By employing all three of these techniques, your dreams will become your realities much faster than you may have thought possible. Nothing in life is one-dimensional. The quicker you shorten the distance between where you are and where you want to be, the more empowered you become. This approach allows you to override the perceived limitations of time and space, and to more fully comprehend your own ability to manifest your dreams and goals.

What do you think about this approach?
Was this information helpful?
The lines are open!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

What is preventing you from the relentless pursuit of your most cherished dreams? Is it circumstances? Are you keeping your dreams on hold thinking that as soon as your situation changes you will seize the opportunity and go for it?

If that is what you’ve been telling yourself then you might want to examine your situation a little further.  Is it possible that there is something else holding you back? Could it perhaps be some underlying fear that you haven’t quite come to grips with?

Don’t let fear rob you of your dreams

There is an incredible array of fears that can influence us in many subtle and deceptive ways. So much so that we often don’t even recognize their existence. Besides, even if we do recognize their presence, it does not necessarily mean that we will have the courage to break through those fears and take action.

Sometimes, we knowingly allow fear to stand between us and our dreams. Sadly, if we do that long enough, chances are, we will eventually abandon our dreams and rationalize our choice with logical sounding excuses.

This does not need to happen to you. You don’t have to allow fear to hinder your actions and destroy your dreams! With a simple shift in perspective, you can learn to transform that fear energy into excitement and use that positive energy to your advantage. 

Which side do you focus on?

Learning to shift our focus away from what we stand to lose, and toward what we stand to gain, will completely change our perception of the situation. This simple shift can quickly leave us feeling more courageous and eager to take action!

Many people are in the habit of seeing the negative side of any challenging situation. If we focus more on how big the challenge seems, instead of the potential benefits, we will resist taking action because all we can see is the potential, negative risks involved. The more we focus on the possibility of loss the more fear we create.

With this kind of mindset, wanting to move forward toward our dreams probably won’t provide enough incentive to overcome these fears. As a result, we will continuously hold ourselves back and end up accomplishing far less than we are capable of.

What are the positive and negative possibilities?

You may find it helpful to make a list of any specific fears you have and get them out in the open. In each situation that leaves you feeling hesitant or fearful, try to evaluate exactly what is holding you back. What is it that you are afraid will happen and why? Are those things really likely to occur, or is there only a slight chance?

Then use a separate sheet of paper and create a list of the benefits you stand to gain by moving forward. Be as specific and optimistic as you can. Remember that dread and fear will amplify your perception of the negative possibilities, which can make the positive benefits seem significantly smaller or less important. So, you may need to work a little harder at emphasizing the positive.

Use this information to make a balanced decision

Looking over these two lists should give you a more balanced view of your options. It will also provide the clarity you need to decide whether to move forward or not. You may decide that you have valid reasons to hang back a bit longer, and it’s perfectly fine as long as you aren’t allowing unrealistic fears to decide for you.

If you see that the possible negative consequences are more than you are willing to accept at this time, you can either come up with some less risky options, or simply hold off and reevaluate at a later time. Deciding to back off can require just as much courage as deciding to move forward, but in this case, your decision is based on sound reasoning rather than emotional paranoia.

Don’t let fear get in your way

If you do decide that the time to take action is now, you may still need to work at building up your courage a bit before you act. Creating a well thought out plan of action will go a long way in this area. Remember, the only person with the power to hold you back, or move you forward, is YOU. At its core, courage is largely the determination to conquer any fear, hesitation or excuse that attempts to separate you from your dreams.

Whatever you do, don’t try to convince yourself into believing that you have to be completely fearless before moving toward your goals! The most successful people in the world would openly confess that they eventually had to be resolved to move forward despite their fears and feelings of uncertainty!

Courage is absolutely a choice, and fear does not have the power to rob you of your dreams, motivation, and strength unless you decide to let it.

How are you doing in the pursuit of your dreams?
Have you ever wondered what’s been holding you back?
The lines are open!

The entire process of transforming fear energy into eager anticipation and motivation is covered in detail in section 5 my book TRUE SELF. This section, Harness the Power, includes six chapters devoted to helping you fully harness your internal power connection.

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Have you ever heard the phrase, “you’ve got to really want it”? Many people believe that the secret to manifesting their dreams is a strong want or desire. To add emphasis they may say I really want to do this or have that. Well, I’m here to tell you that wanting isn’t going to get it done.

Why wanting doesn’t work!

The problem with wanting is that it’s in the same camp as wishing. Wanting, like wishing, is just a fantasy. It’s not even remotely associated with taking action, which means it has no power to motivate us. We all know that without motivation there is no action, and without action nothing happens.

When we are looking to create change, we need to use words that are anchored in action. We need to attach our desires to language that creates motivation and moves us toward doing instead of wishing. Can you think of any terminology that takes the concept of wanting and moves it in that direction?

How intention fills the bill

At first glance, having an intention seems a lot like wanting. But rest assured, on an emotional level it’s a completely different story. The very concept of an intention implies that we are intent on doing something. It’s a statement to our own nervous system that we are ready and willing to take action.

I realize that we often use these two terms interchangeably in daily conversation, and that’s not really a problem. However, when we truly want to make a change we need to be more selective about the signals we send to our subconscious mind.

An intention that changed my life

As a boy, my family used to vacation in Oregon. Without even realizing it at the time, I formed a deep attachment with those beautiful mountains and forests. Years later, this attachment would manifest itself in a powerful, and life changing way.

Sometime during my first year in collage I began to get really restless. I grew tired of school and wanted to do something else. At the time I didn’t realize where these feelings were coming from, or where they would lead. I just knew that I needed to make a major shift, so that’s what I did.

A new direction unfolds

Without analyzing the situation, I quit school and took a high paying job with a big construction company. I saw this move as transitional. It was my hope that this temporary change would provide me with a whole new perspective. Well it worked, because I soon realized that I wanted something drastically different. I wanted peace and quiet, I also wanted lots of space around me and a much slower pace.

Then it hit me, what I really wanted was those beautiful forests of Oregon that I had visited as a boy. This is where my restlessness gained some focus and my wants changed into an intention. At the time, I had no idea how I was going to pull it off, but I was absolutely certain that I would turn this new vision into a reality by using the power of intention.

Fast forward two years

My wants became the seeds for my intention to create a whole new life for myself. In turn, that intention moved me to take decisive action in the direction of my new goal. From that point on I began to define my intent into actionable steps. Everything I did, and every commitment I made, was weighed in the light of my new intention.

Within two years I had bought property, pulled up stakes in southern California, and was living in the forests of Oregon. I had left everything familiar behind. Besides the property, I had a tent, a jeep, and $1000. I was 21 years old and it was an amazing adventure. It was from this place of solitude that I would begin building a new life for myself based on a totally different perception.

The destiny of those who only had wants

I had several friends from my former life who also wanted to escape suburbia. They had dreams of moving somewhere new and living out their own fantasies. As it turned out, almost none of them were able to make it happen. They talked about it, but were never motivated enough to take decisive action.

You see, they had wants instead of intentions. They had dreams that were never allowed to reach the next level. They manifested the seeds of intention, but those seeds never germinated. Eventually, their dreams faded and life took over.

It’s your life; don’t settle for mediocrity

Acting on your dreams is the only way to breathe life into them. Your life can be whatever you want it to be, but it won’t happen just because you want it to. The power of  intention can change the course of your whole life, that’s what happened to me.

Do you have hopes and dreams that are lying dormant in your heart? How long are you willing to leave them there? If they are really important to you, wouldn’t now be a good time pull them out, dust them off, and turn them into an intention?

Did you discover a dream worthy of action?
Are you ready to take it to the next level?
The lines are open!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. From discovering and dismantling your limiting beliefs, to aligning with and realizing your most cherished goals – and everything in between. TRUE SELF will guide you through the process.

We have all heard about the comfort zone, but have you ever noticed how inaccurate that description can be? For many, the comfort zone may not be all that comfortable.

Perhaps a more accurate description might be “the less uncomfortable zone” or even “the avoidance zone.” I say that because if we were truly comfortable in a situation, why would we ever feel a need for change? Here’s an example:

If we are thirty pounds overweight and we are avoiding doing something about it, some might suggest that we need to get outside of our comfort zone. Why would they say that? Because exercising and dieting could represent an uncomfortable change.

Uncomfortable compared to what?

Being thirty pounds overweight is already an uncomfortable reality. Can we realistically call it the comfort zone? No, not really! Then what is so uncomfortable about making a change to improve the situation? Most of the time – it’s the idea of change that we find unsettling, not the change itself.

Sometimes, the very thought of making changes in our life can represent discomfort, even pain. This is because it requires us to make an effort in a new direction. It is very easy to become a creature of habit and to adapt to a set daily routine. Such patterns can be constructive or destructive, it really doesn’t matter.

Once established, we tend to resist change.

When we link change to discomfort, we begin to see avoiding change as the preferred choice. In comparison with upsetting our routine and changing our established patterns, doing nothing becomes our comfort zone.

Our strongest emotional motivator is the desire to move away from pain and discomfort. As soon as we link something to pain, our emotional response is “don’t go there.” By comparison, moving in the opposite direction feels much more comfortable.

You can change your emotional anchors!

What if we could reverse our pain and pleasure anchors? What if we could view our current situation as more uncomfortable than disrupting our set routine?Then we would be motivated to move toward change instead of avoiding it. Our whole emotional perspective would shift.

This is exactly how many people finally manage to make significant changes in their lives. They reach a tipping point where their current reality becomes so uncomfortable, or even painful, that they are sufficiently motivated to take action.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

Why wait?

There is no reason to avoid changing until your current reality reaches a tipping point. We can assign pain or pleasure links to anything we want. The more you can link pleasure to the concept of change, the more motivated you will be to take action.

If you assign enough discomfort to your current reality you will automatically move in another direction. Remember, everything in life is perception. Control your emotional anchors and you will never lack motivation. Become the master of your perception and you become the master of your reality.

How do you feel about change?
What gets you motivated?
The lines are open!

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When you’re feeling unmotivated about your goals or any other endeavor, it can be difficult to keep the bigger picture in mind and remember what you’re working so hard for.  When the initial excitement for your goal or project begins to wear off and you find yourself losing focus and determination, it can be helpful to engage in a comprehensive review – not just of your current goals, but all aspects of your life.

This process may seem like a lot of work at first, but it can serve as a powerful breath of fresh air that clears away stagnation and ushers in renewed clarity and motivation.

Start by using a blank sheet of paper to represent each area of your life, like financial, career, relationships, home, health and fitness, spiritual and so on.  Write a general overview of your status in each area.  Are you satisfied with the things you’ve accomplished in these areas of your life?  Would you like to make further changes?

Then, based on that information, come up with some clear goals that you can set for each area of your life.  They don’t have to be massive goals, just objectives you’d like to begin working toward gradually.

Once you’ve got some goals set, come up with a few simple action steps you can take in each area on a regular basis.  These action steps might include things like reducing your consumption of junk food, exercising for 30 minutes daily, spending more quality time with your family, enrolling in night classes to get your degree, or starting a home business on the side to boost your income.

When you’ve completed this process for each part of your life, write all of those action steps on one sheet of paper, separated into sections.  By the time you’re finished you should have a clear idea of exactly what you want to accomplish in each area of your life.

But you’re not done yet!

Now, take a look at the goals and action steps you’ve written down, and consider any possible obstacles you might face that would threaten your motivation.  What types of problems usually come up that prevent you from doing the things you want to do?  And how can you set up strategies to overcome them in the future?

For example, one obstacle you might face is procrastination brought on by a shortage of time.  Rather than spending a few minutes at a time working on your goals, you tend to put it off until you have more time, which never happens.  One possible strategy you could put in place is a written reminder that you must use the time you do have wisely, because small actions taken consistently will still help you reach your goals!

Once you have these strategies written down, be sure to keep them nearby and re-read them as often as necessary.  If you do find that you’re losing steam again at a later time, simply start this entire process over again and allow it to usher in a welcome dose of clarity, focus and motivation.

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Here’s the formula: Knowledge fueled by emotion equals action, and action is the one necessary ingredient needed to ensure results. Only action can cause reaction. Further, only positive action can cause positive reaction.

It’s not what you know,
it’s what you do with what you know.

Action and affirmations

The whole world loves to watch those who make things happen, and it rewards them for causing waves of productive enterprise. I stress this because I see many people who are really sold on affirmations.

Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against affirmations as a tool to inspire you to take action. In fact, affirmations can and do help reinforce your resolve to act on your plan of action, and in this way affirmations can help create wonderful results.

But there is also a very thin line between faith and folly. You see, affirmations without action can be a form of self-delusion. As for your well-being and the accomplishment of your goals, there are few things worse than self-delusion.

Affirmations without action

The man who dreams of wealth and yet walks daily toward certain financial disaster and the woman who wishes for happiness and yet thinks thoughts and commits acts that lead her toward certain despair are both victims of the false hope which affirmations without action can manufacture. Why? Because words soothe and, like a narcotic, they lull us into a state of complacency. Remember this…

To make progress you must take action!

The key is to take a step today. Whatever your project, TODAY is the best time to get started. Start clearing out a drawer of your newly organized desk … today. Start setting your first goal… today. Start listening to motivational recordings … today. Start a sensible weight-reduction plan … today. Start putting money in your new “investment for fortune” account … today. Write a long-overdue letter … today.

Small deeds done are better than
great deeds planned.  ~Peter Marshall

Anyone can do this, the question is, will you? Even an uninspired person can start reading or listening to programs designed to inspire and motivate. Just get some momentum going on your new commitment for a better life. Go all out! Break away from the downward pull of gravity. Start your thruster engines going and keep them going. Prove to yourself that the waiting is over and that you are all done wishing.  Let action take charge.

Make a fresh start today

Today is a new day, a new beginning for your new life. With a little effort you will be amazed at how much progress you’ll be able to make. What have you got to lose except the guilt and fear associated with doing nothing except wishing?

What could you start doing today?
What will you start doing today?
You’ve waited long enough!

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A farmer owned an old mule that fell into a well. After assessing the situation, the farmer reluctantly concluded that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and enlisted them to help bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was frantic, but as the dirt kept hitting his back, something happened. It dawned on the mule that every time a shovel load landed on his back, he should SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP! This he did, blow after blow. Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up.

No matter how painful the blows or how distressing the situation, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!

Before long, the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly through the mouth of that well. What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him…all because of how he handled his adversity.

Such is life. If we face our problems and respond to them positively, refusing to surrender to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, the adversities that come along to bury us usually possess the potential to benefit us.

So, It Pays To Be A Mule!

So take charge and be a mule. Don’t be mulish! This is someone that sees the way to win but is too afraid to move forward in life, in business and in relationships. One that is mulish allows the dirt in life to bury them.

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” ~ Calvin Coolidge

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