Everyone wants to feel like they have some qualities that are worthy of notice. There seems to be no limit to the lengths that some will go in order to be recognized as different and to stand out in a crowd. The funny thing is, the harder they try to be different, the more they blend in with some particular segment or subculture. How’s that for irony?
Trying to look different from everyone else in an outlandish way is a pretty shallow attempt at individuality. Being completely outrageous may succeed in getting some attention, but where is the value? What kind of statement does this approach make? The whole direction seems like a pretty desperate attempt at individuality when you think about it.
Chasing nonconformity is the wrong approach
Every person is a unique individual and that means that the best way to stand out as different is to become the best possible version of yourself. When you focus on being YOU, there is no competition and no reason to make comparisons. This is the essence of individuality.
If we chase nonconformity as a means of being different that means that we are allowing the crowd to dictate our direction. If they go left then we must go right. That’s not individuality, it’s contrarianism which is nothing more than a predictable response to the majority. Embracing your own individuality will likely include some degree of nonconformity, but that is just the nature of individuality.
Striving to be different won’t help you find your true self
Figuring out who we really are on a core level requires that we abandon the comparison game. It doesn’t really matter whether we are trying to be just like someone else, or striving to be as different as possible. Both paths lead away from meaningful self discovery.
Individuality involves identifying those distinctive personality traits or characteristics that distinguish you from all other people. It’s doesn’t have anything to do with what others are doing or not doing. Individuality is the art of being YOU!
Self discovery – the key to individuality!
How many people do you know that are still looking for their true self? Have you ever wondered why it seems so difficult to figure out who we really are? There can be several contributing factors, but the most obvious is because everything is structured to lead you away from true individuality, which is about self discovery and emotional independence.
As a result of our social structure we gradually lose touch with our own uniqueness during the growing up process. To make things worse, we are never given the skills to reestablish that connection and trying to do it on our own can take a lifetime. That’s one of the reasons why coaching has become so popular. Most people make tremendous progress once they receive a little guidance on the path to individuality through self discovery.
Where nonconformity and individuality meet
Learning to be the best possible version of yourself will mean getting comfortable with being different from the majority. This is necessary because to a large degree things like values and standards have lost their standing in a world marked by competition and financial success at any cost. If you choose to take the less traveled high road your individuality will be viewed by many as simply another form of nonconformity.
This brings home the fact that being your true self is likely to make you unpopular with those who prize conformity. That can be a difficult burden to bear for anyone whose sense of security and self worth is built around external approval. This is just one more deterrent to individuality through self discovery and expression. And yet, the very traits that will make you unpopular with some will earn you the respect of others. These are the people who appreciate the value of originality and are unconcerned with the opinions of the insecure masses.
Have you been searching for your individually?
If you are still trying to discover the real you, perhaps I can help. Find Your TRUE SELF is a step-by-step guide to meaningful individuality through self discovery. I have spent years refining a series of unique exercises designed to help you create internal harmony by connecting with your core values and passions. Along the way you will learn powerful strategies to effectively dismantle your limiting beliefs and replace them with more empowering ones so you can discover your true individuality.
Individuality is something we all have, but sometimes we struggle to locate it. Being the best possible version of yourself means independence from competition and pointless comparisons. It also means being comfortable with yourself whether you agree with the crowd or have a completely unique perspective. It’s like coming home to the real you!
A nice blend of nonconformity and individuality
I have noticed that certain traits are usually apparent in people who have connected with their true self. Manifesting these same characteristics will send powerful signals of individuality to your nervous system. These signals will influence your perception of who you really are on a core level. As a practical exercise I invite you to try incorporating these seven suggestions into your personality and see how it makes you feel.
1. Lead by example and watch how others respond.
2. Be totally honest but very, very tactful.
3. Listen compassionately to the concerns of others.
4. Resist the temptation to talk endlessly about yourself.
5. Treat everyone with respect.
6. Don’t make assumptions about other people’s motives.
7. Talk with people, not at them.
Choosing to be different, choose real individuality
You will notice that these seven suggestions do not represent the way most people behave. But these traits are common among individuals who have courageously chosen the high road in life. It’s because of characteristics like these that these people stand out as different and unique. These are the kind of qualities that make individuality and nonconformity a beautiful thing. But please, don’t take my word for it, test them out and see for yourself.
Note: This article is the 3rd in a 3 part series about the power of inspiration called
Inspiration – the Power to Move Life’s Mountains. Articles include:
1. What is the Ultimate State of Personal Power?
2. Inspiration and the Art of Nonconformity
3. Nonconformity is not the same as Individuality
What characteristics would you add to the list?
How do you feel around people who display true individuality?
The lines are open!
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