This is the third post in as many days dealing with the paradigms of pain and pleasure. If it seems like I am starting in the middle of the story please go back and read the posts for the last two days.
We would all like to think that we make up our own minds as to what is pleasurable and what is painful. In reality we are constantly being conditioned by our environment to link certain things with pain or pleasure. Advertisers study human behavior in an effort to link their products to our emotions. Their advertising campaigns are designed to create subconscious emotional associations or links, without our being aware of it.
The attitude of our close associates also has a powerful influence on our personal paradigms. Their opinions can actually precondition us to view things the way that they do. We may value someone else’s opinion so much, that we subconsciously adopt their viewpoint without any personal experience. Trying to gain the approval of an individual or a group can also shape our preferences. In such cases acceptance often hinges on our ability to conform to group opinion.
Stereotypes can also have a powerful influence. Our minds tend to group similar experiences into general categories. If we encounter a new experience that seems to fit into one of these categories that has always resulted in pain, we will likely expect this one to be painful as well. For example, if every time you try to go on vacation you wind up having car trouble, in the future you will probably expect more of the same. The very thought of vacation may conjure up an image of being stuck on the side of the road, waiting for a tow truck. As a result, an activity designed to bring you pleasure now represents pain.
The important point to remember here is that we need to develop the ability to decide for ourselves what we will view as pleasurable and what we will view it as painful. If we don’t take control of this process, then the world around us will take over our internal programming. Instead of controlling our environment, we will come to be controlled by it. Because the pain/pleasure dynamic has such a powerful influence on our lives, we owe it to ourselves to take personal responsibility for how we choose to view things.
Whenever something happens in your life, your brain will ask two questions. First, is this going to bring me pain or pleasure? Second, What must I do now to avoid the pain and or gain the pleasure? How you interpret the situation will determine your answers. It will also form the foundation for your future expectations.
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