What makes a happy marriage? While there is no universal answer to that question, there are certain things that seem to work for almost everyone.
That’s what I want to share with you today. When both partners apply these fundamental relationship skills, they can greatly enhance the happiness of almost any couple.
10 Happy marriage tips that work!
1. Don’t try to change them. Instead of trying to change something, he or she does – change you! Far too often, people get married with the belief they can simply change the person they married, molding him or her into the “perfect” mate. Instead, you need to accept your mate for the person they are. If a behavior needs to be changed, then provide support and encouragement. For example, if your husband complains about not having clean clothes, rather than nag at him, show him how to launder his shirts, jeans, or whatever it is he needs.
2. Learn to communicate. Communication is a key ingredient to any successful and happy marriage. That means talking through situations rather than bottling up or yelling. By showing respect, you can work together as a couple should. With this, the two of you can talk to understand the other person’s side better.
3. Keep intimacy as a part of your happy marriage. Remember, this person is the one you love, the one you want to share your life with, which means letting go of inhibitions. Intimacy is an excellent way to stay close and connected over the years. For a happy marriage that stands the test of time, never let the flame of passion go out.
4. Accept the flaws in your spouse. Since no one is perfect, you want to learn to appreciate the differences between the two of you. If your husband wakes up with bad hair or your wife is grumpy, love him/her, in spite of the flaws. Even better, for a really happy marriage learn to each others quirks as entertaining rather that irritating.
5. Learn to ignore the small stuff. Even a happy marriage faces challenges, some big and some small. Remind yourself that life is precious and short. Therefore, focus on the larger battles, working through them as a team while letting go of the incidentals that in the big scheme of things does not matter.
6. Make sure you choose your battles wisely. If you are going to pick something apart, make sure it really matters. Unfortunately, unresolved arguments can destroy a once happy marriage, often leading to divorce. Therefore, unless the issue is something significant, learn to let some things roll off your back.
7. Time for friends is also crucial. Once every other week, you should both take one day or evening to spend time apart and with same-sex friends. This will help you maintain your own identity and appreciate the time you have with your spouse. Even in an established and happy marriage, absence can still make the heart grow fonder.
8. Never take your spouse for granted. Again, life is too precious. Instead, find things that your partner does well or things that please you and let him/her know. If your husband is outside working on the car, take time to bring him a cold glass of tea or lemonade…just because. If your wife has been home all day with the children, hire a babysitter and surprise her with a dinner out.
9. Date your mate. Just because you are now legally married, you should not stop dating. Every Friday or Saturday night, even if you have children, make a date. This could be something as simple as bowling and beer or a romantic dinner and concert. The activity is not important, but taking time for just the two of you is vital for a happy marriage.
10. Be forgiving with your partner. You will be faced with tough times and you have a choice of forgiving him/her when a mistake happens or carrying it in the marriage. Obviously, if you do not forgive, the marriage will suffer. Therefore, if resolution is found, swallow your pride and forgive your mate, letting the new day be another beginning.
What’s your favorite happy marriage tip?
Please share it!
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