Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to be kind and loving in favorable situations? But, how many times have you reacted in a not so loving way when you were caught off guard?
You know what I mean, a challenging day; too much of everything aimed straight at you. Then it happens, someone says or does the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time, and you rediscover a side of yourself that you thought was long gone.
Stress has a way of sneaking up on us
Maybe it wasn’t even obvious to those around you. It might have been just a feeling you had, or an unkind thought. However it managed to manifest itself, one thing is certain, it didn’t feel good. Such experiences can also leave us feeling more than a little disappointed with ourselves.
Stress has a way of sneaking up on us and it can happen so subtly that it goes completely unnoticed, for awhile anyway. It just sits there gathering strength without any visible signs, until the wrong button gets pushed.
Hey, we’re all human and life does have its challenges
But what if we could find a way to sustain a positive, loving attitude even under trying circumstances? Wouldn’t that make a sizable contribution to our overall happiness level? How pleased would we feel with ourselves if the people or situations that used to get under our skin didn’t bother us anymore?
The fact is, when we allow ourselves to manifest negative feelings it disrupts our sense of peace and harmony. It’s pretty hard to be upset and feel happy at the same time. So really, it’s to our personal benefit to find ways of cultivating a kind and loving attitude as much of the time as possible because it contributes to our true happiness.
Here’s how it works
Being kind and loving comes from being in a positive and generous state. Feeling positive and generous is the same as being in a state of abundance, and feeling abundant gives us a sense of true happiness. So our personal sense of happiness is directly related to how we feel toward others. Abundance is also a state of resourcefulness, and when we are resourceful we are in a much better position to deal with challenges.
But how can we get to the point where we feel that way?
We are all human and life certainly has its moments, but let’s look at how choice is involved. Let’s start with someone way down near the bottom on our list of favorite people. Maybe it’s someone who just bugs us for some reason and we have never really analyzed why we feel that way. Can we love them? Nobody said we have to love what they do or what they say. The question is, can we love them as a fellow human being?
Why do we have to love them?
Remember, it’s the smart thing to do. Our sense of true happiness is directly involved. Are you thinking, okay, maybe I can have a more positive attitude toward them, but no way can I love them?
See what that was? It was a conscious decision to be unloving, to harbor unloving feelings. Wasn’t that what just happened? If we are honest about it we see that it was also a personal decision to be negative rather than positive. It was a choice!
It was a choice to be limited instead of empowered
When we make a decision like that, we might think we are only projecting negative energy toward that one person. But where does that negative energy originate?
If it comes from us, then the negative energy is in us. It lives in the person who is saying or thinking non-loving things. When we express non-loving feelings toward anyone or anything, our mind likes to justify it by concluding that we are giving them exactly what they deserve. That means that we are judging them. Not just their actions, but we are judging them as a person.
When we discriminate and judge, we actually undermine our own sense of humanity. The key to avoiding this tendency is to disassociate the human being from the questionable course of action. Disapproving of their actions is one thing, judging them as a person is another. Ask yourself this:
Have I ever benefited from being non-loving?
Negativity is only destructive and limiting, nothing good can come from it. Why would we ever choose it over empowerment and abundance? Remember, we always have a choice.
We can’t have it both ways. If we want to be happy, we cannot be loving toward those people we think deserve it, and hateful toward those we have judged otherwise. Doing so only leads to feeling joyful occasionally, while feeling miserable or angry much of the time.
This path can never lead to true happiness because we are allowing our sense of joy to be dictated by the behavior of those around us. Don’t let yourself fall into this trap. Don’t make your happiness dependent on the people around you. Make a choice to be happy, make the loving choice.
Do you believe that happiness involves choice?
Have you experienced joy from making loving choices?
The lines are open!
My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.