Comments on: How to Program Yourself for a Lasting Relationship http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/ Strategies for Positive Change Thu, 24 May 2012 01:09:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-31562 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:50:12 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-31562 Hi Chris, you made an important distinction in your comment about how our motives influence the way we listen. You said: <em>...assisted me to reprogram my self to stop and listen to all that is being said, as opposed to just waiting for that key set of words that I can use to turn the tables.</em> This "turning point" will make a huge difference I'm sure. So glad that you are putting these things into practice and benefiting from them Chris and thank you for your kind support. Hi Chris, you made an important distinction in your comment about how our motives influence the way we listen. You said: …assisted me to reprogram my self to stop and listen to all that is being said, as opposed to just waiting for that key set of words that I can use to turn the tables. This “turning point” will make a huge difference I’m sure. So glad that you are putting these things into practice and benefiting from them Chris and thank you for your kind support.

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-31462 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:43:19 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-31462 Greetings Nancy, sometimes I think that words like "unconditional" and "total commitment" scare people, but in reality they are a must for a deep, meaningful relationship. Once you close all the escape routes then there is only moving forward together. OK, I'll pop over as long as you say it's safe. :) Greetings Nancy, sometimes I think that words like “unconditional” and “total commitment” scare people, but in reality they are a must for a deep, meaningful relationship. Once you close all the escape routes then there is only moving forward together.

OK, I’ll pop over as long as you say it’s safe. :)

]]> By: Nancy Shields http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-31457 Nancy Shields Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:20:52 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-31457 Hello Jonathan and how ironic that you wrote about programming yourself for a lasting relationship and my blog post this week was "What is it about love?" So we are on the same wave frequency! You make some very good points and the letting go of baggage is a MUST - until we totally forgive then we carry around what doesn't serve us anymore to the new relationship and eventually it will get sour.... It all comes down to love in it's purest form - unconditional to build on a lasting relationship. RESPECT and TRUST are 2 biggies too! I do invite you to come over to my blog every so often and check the posts out; don't be afraid just because it's entitled MakeGirlfriends.com - I have many men commenting including David Stevens and Jimmy from Your Life Architects.... In love and light, Nancy Hello Jonathan and how ironic that you wrote about programming yourself for a lasting relationship and my blog post this week was “What is it about love?” So we are on the same wave frequency! You make some very good points and the letting go of baggage is a MUST – until we totally forgive then we carry around what doesn’t serve us anymore to the new relationship and eventually it will get sour….

It all comes down to love in it’s purest form – unconditional to build on a lasting relationship. RESPECT and TRUST are 2 biggies too!

I do invite you to come over to my blog every so often and check the posts out; don’t be afraid just because it’s entitled MakeGirlfriends.com – I have many men commenting including David Stevens and Jimmy from Your Life Architects….

In love and light,
Nancy
Nancy Shields recently posted..WHAT IS IT ABOUT LOVE?My Profile

]]> By: Chris http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-23940 Chris Sun, 31 Jul 2011 17:59:17 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-23940 I am a marketing manager whom has been single for most my life as it is often so busy that I just never took the time. It was very hard, and still even now I seem to have trouble from time to time with my own programming. This post has been very helpful and I just want to take a moment to thank you for it's posting. In marketing we are programmed communicators however I have found that we only hear what we want to hear and often have a way of twisting words or situations into our own likes so that others see our views. This post has truly assisted me to reprogram my self to stop and listen to all that is being said, opposed to just waiting for that key set of words that I can use to turn the tables. I have found that since I began using the small things such as adjusting to doing little things here and there on a daily basis to make her smile or just something as simple as picking up dinner on the way home when she has had a long day. Has made a positive change in our daily life and strength of our relationship. Once more I just want to thank you for this posting. I would gladly stand as a walking testimate to validity of many of the key points within it.. I am a marketing manager whom has been single for most my life as it is often so busy that I just never took the time. It was very hard, and still even now I seem to have trouble from time to time with my own programming. This post has been very helpful and I just want to take a moment to thank you for it’s posting. In marketing we are programmed communicators however I have found that we only hear what we want to hear and often have a way of twisting words or situations into our own likes so that others see our views. This post has truly assisted me to reprogram my self to stop and listen to all that is being said, opposed to just waiting for that key set of words that I can use to turn the tables. I have found that since I began using the small things such as adjusting to doing little things here and there on a daily basis to make her smile or just something as simple as picking up dinner on the way home when she has had a long day. Has made a positive change in our daily life and strength of our relationship. Once more I just want to thank you for this posting. I would gladly stand as a walking testimate to validity of many of the key points within it..

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-22341 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Tue, 21 Jun 2011 21:25:31 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-22341 Hi Rachel, I truly feel your pain and understand you deep desire to have a mate. Sadly, relationships are the stage where all of our imperfections and shortcomings get acted out times two. I know so many good and caring people in a similar situation to yours because of one unavoidable fact - It takes two to make a relationship work, but only one to destroy it. Finding that other good and caring person in a world that programs people to be self centered ans selfish is becoming increasingly more challenging. About the only way to meet this challenge is to continue working to become the best possible version of yourself and to give yourself the validation and approval that you deserve. This doesn't guarantee that someday the right person will discover you, but it does improve the quality of your life in the meanwhile. It also makes you more attractive to those who value such qualities. Often, when we develop the ability to let go of a need, we actually open the way for that need to be filled. I realize that can be difficult, but it's one approach that I have seen bring good results. Hi Rachel, I truly feel your pain and understand you deep desire to have a mate. Sadly, relationships are the stage where all of our imperfections and shortcomings get acted out times two. I know so many good and caring people in a similar situation to yours because of one unavoidable fact – It takes two to make a relationship work, but only one to destroy it. Finding that other good and caring person in a world that programs people to be self centered ans selfish is becoming increasingly more challenging. About the only way to meet this challenge is to continue working to become the best possible version of yourself and to give yourself the validation and approval that you deserve. This doesn’t guarantee that someday the right person will discover you, but it does improve the quality of your life in the meanwhile. It also makes you more attractive to those who value such qualities. Often, when we develop the ability to let go of a need, we actually open the way for that need to be filled. I realize that can be difficult, but it’s one approach that I have seen bring good results.

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-22340 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Tue, 21 Jun 2011 21:06:32 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-22340 Hi Tracy, you are absolutely right about the importance of trust. In fact, for a truly meaningful relationship trust is more than important, it is vital. Hi Tracy, you are absolutely right about the importance of trust. In fact, for a truly meaningful relationship trust is more than important, it is vital.

]]> By: Rachel http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-22327 Rachel Tue, 21 Jun 2011 15:57:40 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-22327 I really enjoyed reading this! I have had relationship problems my whole life. I am 41 and not yet had someone stay with me or ask me to marry them. I date men but it always ends up the same. I get dumped. I take good care of my boyfriends too. I don't complain. I cook and keep the house clean. I do everything for them. My friends tell me that I'm too nice. But, I always get the same excuses. It's not you, it's me. I want to be single for a while, etc. I might believe it if 90% of them didn't have serious relationships in the near future after breaking up with me. It used to bother me really bad. Now, at my age, I just feel that I'm destined to be alone. I don't let it bother me as much as I used to. When I was younger, I attempted suicide twice because I really thought something was wrong with me. I still think there is, but I won't do the suicide thing again. I was mentally abused by my mother my whole life. I still am. Every time I meet someone new, she tells me that they don't want me except for one thing and, after they get it, they will move on. Really nice words to be telling your daughter! I don't talk about the abuse or any problems to the guys I date, but maybe it bleeds out, and I don't realize it. I really don't know what to do anymore. I really enjoyed reading this! I have had relationship problems my whole life. I am 41 and not yet had someone stay with me or ask me to marry them. I date men but it always ends up the same. I get dumped. I take good care of my boyfriends too. I don’t complain. I cook and keep the house clean. I do everything for them. My friends tell me that I’m too nice. But, I always get the same excuses. It’s not you, it’s me. I want to be single for a while, etc. I might believe it if 90% of them didn’t have serious relationships in the near future after breaking up with me. It used to bother me really bad. Now, at my age, I just feel that I’m destined to be alone. I don’t let it bother me as much as I used to. When I was younger, I attempted suicide twice because I really thought something was wrong with me. I still think there is, but I won’t do the suicide thing again. I was mentally abused by my mother my whole life. I still am. Every time I meet someone new, she tells me that they don’t want me except for one thing and, after they get it, they will move on. Really nice words to be telling your daughter! I don’t talk about the abuse or any problems to the guys I date, but maybe it bleeds out, and I don’t realize it. I really don’t know what to do anymore.

]]> By: Relationship Status: It’s Complicated http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/how-to-program-yourself-for-a-lasting-relationship/#comment-19021 Relationship Status: It’s Complicated Mon, 28 Mar 2011 22:43:28 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1252#comment-19021 [...] long term, meaningful relationships will face challenges from time to time. Don’t get hypnotized by the seeming complexity of the [...] [...] long term, meaningful relationships will face challenges from time to time. Don’t get hypnotized by the seeming complexity of the [...]

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