Do you realize that you have at your disposal the power to change the state of those around you in an instant? I am not just talking about people that you know, but also people you have only seen once, and that you have never even talked to. Yes, you can change the state of a complete stranger in a moment, from a distance. That’s a lot of power, don’t you think.
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Before we explore this remarkable source of influence, let’s consider a few basic facts about human communication.
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Some possibilities
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Most of us tend to focus on our verbal communication skills, and that’s reasonable. After all, being able to express yourself accurately, and convey your thoughts in an understandable way, is a very valuable skill. We have all been touched to the heart by well-crafted words, and we highly value that ability.
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It makes no difference whether they come from a great public speaker; a captivating author, or a dear friend, words have the ability to touch our lives. But we are not talking about words today. The reason is, because in order for words to be able to touch somebody’s life, they either need to hear them, or read them. Remember though, I said we could do this from a distance without talking to the other person.
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Can you think of a way to do that without words?
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How about body language? Our body language definitely affects the way others view us, in fact, it also affects the way we view ourselves. Yes, body language conveys an important subconscious message to everyone who sees us. So body language is definitely a powerful means of communication, but it doesn’t necessarily change the state of others. What it does do is influence their perception of us as a person.
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As important as our words and body language are, they still don’t have the power to change the mental state of someone who sees us from a distance.
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What’s left?
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How about our external trappings? You know, our clothes, the car we drive, the cost of our wristwatch or jewelry, and things like that. Those things certainly get other’s people’s attention, don’t they? In reality though, aren’t they just an extension of our body language? They may convey a message about our financial status, or level of credit card debt, but that’s about the extent of it. And besides, we are not talking about changing people’s perception of us, are we? No, we’re talking about finding a way to change their mental state.
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Any more ideas?
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Imagine that you are walking down the street, and you make eye contact with someone who looks sad or depressed. What would it take to add a shot of joy to their life instantly? What could you do in a moment, without a word, that would help them feel better right now?
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What if the tables were turned? Imagine that you are the one walking down the street feeling blue, and someone else makes eye contact with you from 20 feet away. What could that person do to help you feel better in an instant?
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Did you figure it out yet?
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The answer is really very simple and yet frequently overlooked. Here’s how you can use your influence to instantly change their state. Look them straight in the eyes, and give them a warm, sincere smile. That’s it, smiling at other people has the power to change their focus and lift their spirits in an instant of time. It forms an immediate connection between you and them, and sends a powerful message of good will. It’s a friendly little gesture that can reach clear across a room and touch the heart of a complete stranger. That’s pretty powerful!
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Think about it!
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How do you react when you are just going about your day, and someone you don’t even know smiles at you for know apparent reason? You probably smile back, right? It’s a natural reaction. How does exchanging smiles with someone make you feel? You feel better, don’t you? So smiling is a simple way to make everybody feel better immediately. That’s a pretty wonderful ability to have at you disposal, don’t you think?
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Do you want to feel better while helping others to feel better?
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So what are you going to do about it? Why not use this power liberally to improve your life and the lives of those around you? Go ahead, exercise is great power every chance you get and see if it doesn’t transform the quality of your life. People will be attracted to you like a magnet, and they probably won’t even know why. But you will know why, and you will feel good about it. In fact, it will probably make you smile!
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Now that you are in a good mood, go ahead and leave a comment.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
This whole topic of smiling’s effect, not just on me, but on other people fascinates me.
Emotions are a virus. It’s a matter of whether you want to infect people with good emotions.
I’ve written a full article about this topic that directly relates to what you’re talking about: The Magical Science of Emotions: Emotional Contagion, Mirror Neurons, and the High Road to Happiness
Its all about making others feel good about themselves – if you want someone to remember you, make ‘them’ feel important – say ‘their’ name when you talk to them and talk about ‘their’ goals and aims.
Malcolm Reds last blog post..Self Motivation: How to Motivate Yourself