How Do I Find My True Self?

find your true self

Step away from everything that is familiar to you like your job, friends and family. Then take yourself out of range of all the electronic noise from computers, cell phones and the television. Now tell me this: When it is just you standing alone in the quiet of total solitude, who are you?

If that question leaves you scratching your head, you are certainly not alone. I’ve noticed that more and more people are starting to feel almost completely disconnected from their true elf. They tell me that they just don’t know who they really are, and they have no idea how to figure it out.

Have you ever felt that way?

There are many reasons why most people never really connect with their true self. For one thing there is nothing about the structure of our society that facilitates such a connection. In fact, the exact opposite is true. From a young age we are channeled in certain directions according to criteria like aptitude and the expectations of others. Of course, this is done for our own good based on the premise that a well paying career equates to a fulfilling life.

Once we are fully vested in that pursuit, we begin to adopt it as our identity with no real awareness that it’s a role we are being programmed into. Any ambitions that don’t fit the mold are seen as foolish dreams rather than expressions of our true self. Ironically, most of the creative geniuses of history were originally labeled as foolish dreamers.

Role playing becomes our reality

We all have different roles to play in life and each of those roles comes with their own set of skills and responsibilities.  On any given day you might be a parent, a technician, a marriage partner, a commuter, and a student or teacher.

When you think about it, there are a limitless number of possible life roles. And it’s probably a reasonable assumption that your life involves a combination of several of them. Your life roles reveal a lot about your situation and how you spend your time, but…

Do those life roles define who you are?

This is where things get a little confusing because to some degree, we all get our identity from what we do. And this is especially true if one of our roles requires a huge commitment of time and energy.

Being a mother of a very young child is a perfect example. It’s a role that requires a 24/7 full focus and commitment, and it can go on like that for years. Is the identity of a woman in this role wrapped up with being a mother? Absolutely, and that is perfectly normal.

But what happens when circumstances change?

Life is about change and that means that our roles change along with it. If our whole identity is tied to a particular role and it changes, it can leave us wondering who we are. When children grow up and move out they call it empty nest syndrome for the parents and separation anxiety for the children.  Both of these conditions describe an identity struggle brought on by a change in life roles.

The same thing can happen when a workaholic ends up unemployed or an athlete gets injured or too old for their sport. Because they got their identity from their primary life role, the change creates an identity crisis and they can end up feeling lost and confused.

The source of your real identity

Who we are as a person, on the deepest levels, has only a passive relationship with our life roles. Instead, our real identity is defined by our core beliefs, values, passions, and motives, and expresses itself through our courageousness, openness, and personal power. It is the connection with this inner aspect of self, our TRUE SELF, that so many feel out of touch with.

How about you? Have you been able to brush aside the static and connect with your true self? Do you feel that your life is an outward demonstration of your deepest values, passions, and beliefs? If so, then you have found something that is rare and precious. If not, then how interested are you in making that inward journey toward your missing connection?

True Self – a journey of self discovery

I created Find Your TRUE SELF to help you connect with your core identity and discover who you are apart from your various life roles. I’ll help you examine the beliefs and passions that define your perception of the world around you and your place in it.

Then I will give you the tools to bring your beliefs and passions into harmony with your core values. This will allow you to create an empowering sense of inner harmony and avoid the self sabotaging behaviors that can undermine your ability to succeed in life and business.

Find Your TRUE SELF is your personal blueprint for positive change and a happier, more fulfilling life. It has already helped thousands make a stronger connection with their true self and I know it can help you do the same. If you are tired of wondering who you really are, now you can out.

How connected are you with your true self?
How connected would you like to be?

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This program covers the whole process in detail.
Find Your TRUE SELF Home Study Course
Find Your TRUE SELF Home Study Course


  1. Rickbischoff July 30, 2012 Reply

    “…our real identity is defined by our core beliefs, values, passions, and motives, and expresses itself through our courageousness, openness, and personal power. ”

    ::: Beautifully said Jonathan thnx!! again for the inspiring words

    • Jonathan July 31, 2012 Reply

      Thanks Rick, I am really glad you enjoyed it. :)

  2. Evan July 30, 2012 Reply

    I’m an introvert and have been lucky that this has mostly been ok. I think for this reason I’m a bit the reverse: clear on my values and gifts – not so good at making a career out of them.

    • Jonathan July 31, 2012 Reply

      Hi Even, introvert means lots of time for introspection and that is perhaps something that many don’t take enough time for these days. Could be a big contributor to lack of connection with self.

  3. Grady July 31, 2012 Reply

    I have to admit, I don’t think I could answer that question. And maybe that’s been a part of my confusion with what to do with my life that I have felt for so long. I feel pulled in so many directions that I don’t know which one to take.

    The more I think about it, the more I realize that I do need to figure out what my true self is, so thanks for the question!

    • Jonathan July 31, 2012 Reply

      That’s how it works Grady. Once we truly understand who we are everything else makes a lot more sense. So, now that you know…

  4. David Stevens July 31, 2012 Reply

    It’s an ongoing journey of discovery Jonathan. Some arrive at their destination, others miss the bus. Make a start, get on the bus and enjoy the ride. Thankyou
    be good to yourself

    • Jonathan July 31, 2012 Reply

      So true David, for me it will be ongoing as long as I am still breathing. I love the journey!

  5. Sandra August 4, 2012 Reply


    What you’ve said about “role playing” most of our life is so spot on! I have come to the point where my life expressions my deepest values and beliefs. I may need to investigate my true passions a bit more. Thanks for the encouragement.

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