Have You Found True Happiness?

by Jonathan on March 9, 2009

be-happy-nowYou have probably achieved many things in your life and that is certainly a satisfying feeling. But let me ask you this, are you happy? The reason I ask is because for many people true happiness is an elusive pursuit. While they are able to achieve success in many areas, it doesn’t lead to the happiness they were expecting.

Have you ever wondered why?

We’ve been taught that a good education, meaningful career, nice home and family are a sure formula for a happy life. Oddly enough, a person can have all or most of those things and still feel like something is missing. It’s a situation that can be both confusing and frustrating. Some even feel guilty because of it!

So what does it take to feel truly happy?

As it turns out, happiness does not automatically accompany achievement or success like we’ve been lead to believe. There is actually something more involved. In fact, it is something that you can do right now regardless of whether you have achieved those other things or not. My friend Mike King has a wonderful blog called Learn This and he wrote an article addressing this subject that I am pleased to share with you. It’s called:

Why Are You Waiting for Happiness? Have it NOW!

Have you ever heard yourself or someone you know say, “I’ll be happy when…”?  Do you think that happiness is something you will have or get in the future?  Are there things you think you need to do or have before you will be truly happy?  I’ve learned that you can control your own happiness and this article will help you learn to enable yourself to experience happiness anytime, anywhere, in any situation.

The Myth of Happiness

Happiness is one of those long sought after, conceptual ideas and it has turned into a sense of longing and searching for many people instead of a state of being and feeling.  People have learned over centuries to look to the future to find more happiness instead of looking at the here and now with what they have.  Well, did you know you can have happiness now?  You don’t need anything else or anyone to be happy.

Have you ever been happy before in your life?  Are there moments when you’ve experienced more happiness than right now?  I suspect there are!  If so, great, then you can harness that and be happy now as well.

Happiness is Internal

Many think that happiness comes from having lots of money, being attractive, having the perfect job or the latest gadget.  Some people think it comes from circumstances in life or your environment.  I personally don’t understand how people let themselves belief this so easily (obviously the media is very good at what they do for consumerism, but that’s another article).  Studies, experience and worldly looks at happiness show that it doesn’t come from all your possessions, your genes or any external factors.  It comes from within.

There are several different factors that do feed our happiness.  Part of our happiness factor has been shown to be stemmed from our genetics and youngest years in life.  This is a significant portion of our happiness which tends to give us a consistent fall back point for our happiness.  It can move up and down from that point, but it seems this point is different for different people and doesn’t tend to change much through life.  So, that area is not really within our control so there is not much point on dwelling or working on that.  I have read however, that our genetics and base happiness level can be as much of 50% of what contributes to our happiness.

The next factor is circumstance 

This is the one that takes the most blame for not being happy yet studies show it is only about 10% of our happiness factor.  So, while this area may seem like the most important area to control, it is fairly insignificant when it comes to our happiness levels.  It’s something to realize but keep in mind that doing something about something in this area is not very impactful and it isn’t a factor that can easily be changed, so also not worth a lot of time considering the value.

The last factor however, is completely different.  It’s your attitude, thoughts and feelings about happiness.  The voluntary control area of happiness where you think about your past, present and future to adjust your level of happiness.  This area is the area you have complete control over as it’s based only on your own internal thoughts.

Past

How you think about your past and let it affect you today is up to you.  If you put more thoughts on learning from the past, and use that to make life better now instead of dwelling on hardship or struggles, you can gain more happiness right now. People who focus on and remember the good times and happy memories are happier than those who remember all the unhappy times.  Having an attitude of appreciation and gratitude for those good times strengthens that happiness you can experience today.

Present

Your present is something you must practice in to increase your happiness.  How you see things and respond to things is definitely up to you, and doing so in a way that brings more happiness is certainly a better option than choosing to bring sad or disappointing views into your mind. Look around to find simple things to take pleasure in and consider not what you don’t have, but what you do have.  Having and putting time into relationships and enjoyable activities are great ways to experience more happiness in the present.

Future

Your future and more specifically, how you think it will be, will also greatly affect your happiness.  If you condition yourself to think that you need something else (like a possession) to be happy, then when you get to your future you will be trained to continue to look for the next thing before being happy.  Instead, look at the things that make you happy now which are not external and think and remind yourself of still experiencing them in the future.  Be optimistic with your expectations for happiness and you can drive yourself to be more happy!

Be Happy Now

So all of this leaves only one thing when it comes to happiness.  Make a decision to be happy now and to change your thinking towards the things that contribute to happiness instead of deterring it.  Choose your response to situations and live with a hope and appreciation to what is good, what is right, and what makes you happy.

So, what makes you feel happy?
What are you truly grateful for?

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{ 2 trackbacks }

Link Love — The Rat Race Trap
March 10, 2009 at 2:17 am
11 Simple Steps to Greater Happiness Now
October 30, 2009 at 7:17 pm

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Stephen - Rat Race Trap March 10, 2009 at 2:11 am

Well, to be honest, and I mean really honest, one thing that makes me happy is all the incredible people and content I have found in my forays around the net. You Jonathan and your blog are now included in that list.

I guess part of all this is age. Much of what you are saying comes with the wisdom of experience. No matter how many times you hear it, it seems that you have to experience it for yourself. Like most people who have a drive for some type of success, I was caught up in the rat race and the accumulation of things =- thinking that is where happiness lay. Success in things or a corporate job didn’t do it for me. Mostly, and like many others I suspect, I was simply too busy to notice it.

I think financial independence gives you freedom to pursue what makes you happy and so is an ingredient, but it most certainly is not the end itself.

Thank you for this very good article.

Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..Link Love

Jonathan comments: It’s a circular thing Stephen. I get a lot of happiness from your honest and sincere comments. Thanks for participating.

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2 Mike King March 10, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Thanks Jonathan for reposting my article on happiness. It’s one I need to write more about as there is so much to help people with in that area. I’m glad to extend my reach into your blog as well and happy to reach into your community also.

Mike Kings last blog post..The Burden of the Self
Twitter: mike_king

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3 Brynn March 10, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Nice post. I believe happiness is an attitude we choose and need to practice continually. I wrote a blog post entitled ‘Attitude’ which explains my thoughts in more detail…
Thanks for the great posts…

Brynns last blog post..Our true self

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4 Laurie | Express Yourself to Success March 11, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Thanks for the great post. I too believe, for the most part, that happiness is based on what we allow ourselves to think about and what attitude we choose. I doubt it’s actually possible to be happy while only thinking negative thoughts!

Laurie | Express Yourself to Successs last blog post..Good Reads

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5 Dyann Lyon March 21, 2009 at 10:06 pm

This is great! I love fnding new blogs that inspire…and your deinately does that! I believe that happiness is a choice and as we choose to be happy, at whatever we are doing and doing those things that make us happy…well, we have that which people are searching for. Rather than search for happiness. BE happy! It truly is a choice and when we choose happiness it effects every choice that we make fom that moment on! Thanks for the opportuity to leave a comment!
With gratitude, Dyann

Dyann Lyons last blog post..Landmark Forum…Grateful Graduate!

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6 Nicole March 30, 2009 at 4:38 pm

I agree that happiness doesn’t come from success or material possessions, but it comes from within and it is something we have to work at. I recently listened to a radio interview on youtube with a happiness expert. The interview covers many aspects of happiness and gives some useful advice on how to become happy from within. Listen to the clip at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDjtxTigdvc

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