Friday with Friends – May 29

by Jonathan on May 28, 2009

friday-with-friendsIn this issue of Friday with Friends I want to share some truly exceptional articles from some of the most insightful writers around. My world is better because of their work and I want to offer you the opportunity enjoy them as well.

This week I have chosen 5 articles on a variety of subjects including forgiveness, happiness, productivity, and success. I think you will enjoy and benefit from each of these choices, beginning with 8 powerful tips on forgiveness…

How to Let Go and Forgive
Written by Leo Babauta of zenhabits

We’ve all been hurt by another person at some time or another — we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.

And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over, and have a hard time letting go.

This causes problems. It not only causes us to be unhappy, but can strain or ruin relationships, distract us from work and family and other important things, make us reluctant to open up to new things and people. We get trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.

We need to learn to let go. We need to be able to forgive, so we can move on and be happy.

This is something I learned the hard way — after years of holding onto anger at a loved one that stemmed from my childhood and teen-age years, I finally let go of this anger (about 8 years ago or so). I forgave, and not only has it improved my relationship with this loved one tremendously, it has also helped me to be happier.

Forgiveness can change your life.

Forgiveness does not mean you erase the past, or forget what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change his behavior — you cannot control that. All it means is that you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.

It’s not easy. But you can learn to do it.

If you’re holding onto pain, reliving it, and can’t let go and forgive, read on for some things I’ve learned.

1) Commit to letting go. You aren’t going to do it in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time to get over something. So commit to changing, because you recognize that the pain is hurting you. [continue reading]

14 Timeless Ways to Live a Happy Life
Written by Alex Blackwell of The Bridge Maker

How we achieve happiness can be different for each one of us. Our passions, expectations, life experiences, and even our personalities all contribute to the level of happiness we experience in our lives. Some find happiness in their careers while others prefer the bliss found in their marriages or other intimate relationship.

No matter how you define happiness for yourself, there are certain universal and time-proven strategies to bring, and sustain, more happiness into your life. The following 14 timeless ways to live a happy life can be adapted and even customized to fit your needs. Over time, these strategies will become positive and life-changing habits that will begin to bring more happiness, joy and peace into your life.

1) Notice What’s Right
Some of us see the glass as being half-full, while others see the glass as half-empty. The next time you are caught in traffic, begin thinking how nice it is to have a few moments to reflect on the day, focus on a problem you have been trying to solve, or brainstorm on your next big idea. The next time you get in the slow line at the grocery store, take the opportunity to pick up a tabloid magazine and do some “guilty pleasure” reading. Take all that life throws out you and reframe it with what’s right about the situation. At the end of the day, you will more content, at peace and happy. Take the time to begin to notice what’s right and see the world change in front of your eyes.

2) Be Grateful
How many times do you say the words “thank you,” in a day? How many times do you hear these same words? If you are doing the first thing, saying the “thank yous,” the latter will naturally happen. Learn to be grateful and you will be open to receive an abundance of joy and happiness.

3) Remember the Kid You Were
Do you remember how to play? I’m not referring to playing a round of golf or a set of tennis. I’m talking about playing like you did when you were a child – a game of tag; leap frog, or street baseball when the bat is a broken broom handle and the bases are the parked cars. One way to find or maintain your happiness is to remember the kid you were and play!
[continue reading]

Mono-Task and Work More Effectively
Written by Ali Hale for Dumb Little Man

A few years ago, “multi-tasking” was a big buzzword. When people wanted to sound busy, the common response was, “I am multi-tasking“. However, trying to write emails, talk on the phone, finish that big report and check Twitter all at the same time, is a sure recipe for doing all of them badly. Without focus, results suffer and thus multi-tasking has been relegated to a convenient excuse to procrastinate.

When you’ve got a difficult project to work on, you need to mono-task. Here’s a step-by-step mono-tasking plan to achieve true effectiveness in your work:

1) Step One: Switch Off Distractions
Whenever you sit down to work on an important task, you need to switch off any distractions. That might be the radio, television, Twitter, messenger programs and – most importantly – your email. Be honest, do you
ever get emails that really can’t wait an hour for a response?

Constantly switching between different applications on your computer drains your ability to concentrate. You lose time whenever you switch – stopping to check your email breaks your concentration, and it can take several minutes to get back into the flow of what you were supposed to be doing. [continue reading]

The Productivity Map
by dragos of eDragonu – the choice of a personal path

Ever since I wrote The Productivity Trap article I felt there was something missing. The main point of that article was always valid, of course, but there was still a little bit of fog regarding the whole productivity concept. So, after taking some time to think it over, I came up with a productivity map, which made it clearer for me. Those of you accustomed with the urgent / important diagram will be instantly familiar with it.

Productivity Axis

There are 2 main axis of the productive citizen:

  • goals axis
  • discipline axis

Generally speaking, the goals are the motivators, the incentives, while the discipline is the facilitator for reaching those goals.

Goals are what are making us move forward, what makes us thrilled and enthusiastic. Goals is a technical term here, it can be substituted with dreams or passions. [view maps and continue reading]

What is Success?
Written by Kristi of Kikolani

I have seen this question posed on several other sites recently, mostly related to blogging success. So I wonder, in life, how do we define success?

It seems like, both in blogging and in life, people define success by numbers. As a blogger, the success is determined by the number of visitors per day, the dollar amount they can sell their ads, and the amount of diggs or tweets their posts received. As an author, the success is determined by how many books are sold, the number of positive reviews by large newspapers and magazines, and the number of movie offers that are made for their book. As a lawyer, the success is determined by the number of cases won and the dollar amount of settlement that is gained for their clients. As a family’s provider, the success is determined by the dollar amount of the salary he or she brings home, the dollar value of the home in which they live, and the amount of cars in their driveway.

But is that a real measure of success? Shouldn’t there be other things that determine if one is successful? Wouldn’t the quality of lives be different if there were other measures of success? [continue reading]

Well, that’s it for this issue of Friday with Friends.
Before you go, let me ask:

Did you find these articles useful?
Which ones did you like the best?
Do you have a recommendation?

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Dragos Roua May 29, 2009 at 1:27 am

Jonathan,

Thanks so much for featuring me in this edition of Friday with Friends. Thank you also for pointing me to Leo’s article, which I consider to be a great improvement from his regular style. I admired Leo – and I still do, in a way – but the frequency of dry lists posts on ZenHabits made me to stop reading it at some point. I think I just started to follow him again.

Have a great week-end.

Dragos Rouas last blog post..The Productivity Map

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2 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 29, 2009 at 9:08 am

Dragos, you are most welcome. There was something so clear and synergistic about the combination of your productivity maps and article that it was a no brainer, I had to include it. Nice job.

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3 Stephen - Rat Race Trap May 29, 2009 at 2:58 am

Jonathan, I love your Friday with friends. I used to read so many blogs I did almost nothing else. I still read a number of good ones but I miss a lot of good articles. Posts like this point me to the best ones, some of which I missed and I truly appreciate it. This is a fantastic idea!

Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..Energize Your Success – Use The Right Fuel

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4 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 29, 2009 at 9:13 am

Thanks Stephen, I know exactly what you mean, it’s difficult to keep up when there’s so much going on. I also like it when someone filters out the good stuff and then gives me some samples to choose from.

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5 Dr. Annette Colby May 29, 2009 at 8:03 am

Hi Jonathan,

This is only your second “Friday with Friends” collumn, and I’m already hooked! Thanks for adding this feature. Today, I most enjoyed Alex Blackwell’s Timeless Ways to Be Happy collumn. It simply reminded me to let out my inner kid and play more!

However, I also enjoyed What is Success by Kristi. As an author and blogger, I’ve often considered whether our success is determined by the number of people who read what is written. Having an audience is great, but perhaps it’s also important that the creative community places their creations into reality – whether there are viewers and buyers or not. There’s something so important about tapping into our creative self and expressing ourselves authentically into the world. Many creative souls were poor, broke, and unacknowledged in their lifetime, but today our lives are richer because of their perseverence. So perhaps the definition of success includes remaining true to our vision no matter what.

Dr. Annette Colbys last blog post..Timeless Thoughts For Taking Responsibility For Your Life

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6 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 29, 2009 at 9:20 am

Hi Annette, I couldn’t agree more. I think the greatest benefit of writing, especially in the personal development niche, is the self-discovery process. Before we can articulate a concept we must first get crystal clear on it in our own minds. It’s wonderful to know that others appreciate your work, but the success of inner awareness and clarity is first on my list also. I wrote a short article about this called What is the Greatest Benefit of Success in case anyone is interested.

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7 Bunnygotblog May 29, 2009 at 10:02 am

Hello Jonathan,

You have a great line up here. I am most familiar with Dragos. I have followed him for sometime now. I identify and always take something away after reading his blog.
I will check out the others when I have the time – all the titles have my curiosity all ready.
Thanks for the heads up here, Jonathan it is great when I find articles that recommend other blogs.Your sharing is much appreciated.
Cheers -

Bunnygotblogs last blog post..It’s A Bug’s Life

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8 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 29, 2009 at 10:08 am

Hi Bunny, and thanks for joining the conversation. I think sharing is at the core of blogging. It’s nice to see that others feel the same way.

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9 Robin Easton May 29, 2009 at 10:27 am

Hi Jonathan, This is such a great idea. I particularly enjoyed the forgiveness post. I really resonated with the importance of forgiveness, a powerful act that is often very overlooked.

I am currently working on a post on forgiveness for down the road. I feel that simply shifting the way we look at forgiveness, or our reasons for doing it can make forgiveness easier, even a way of life. Will save the rest for my post. But wanted to stop in and thank you for sharing such excellence and more importantly for the exceptional openness of your mind and spirit. That vastness again.

Robin Eastons last blog post..Keeper of the Circle

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10 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 29, 2009 at 10:34 am

Hi Robin, thanks for your kind words. I figure there are really only 2 people that we need to forgive. 1) ourselves 2) everyone else. Keeping it simple makes things much easier. Surely, we can all forgive just 2 people.

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11 Matt Clark - Power of Personal Devlopment May 29, 2009 at 1:21 pm

I am really enjoying these Friday’s posts, great idea. Thanks for sharing Jonathan.

Make it great,
Matt

Matt Clark – Power of Personal Devlopments last blog post..Unplug, Less Stress and More Success

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12 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 30, 2009 at 7:14 am

Hey Matt, thanks for the encouragement!

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13 Mike King May 30, 2009 at 6:29 am

These friday articles are very good picks Jonathan. I’ve had to drastically reduce my reading list to keep up lately (got a few months of graphics business work to focus on) and these are always a joy to read. You pick great articles and love connecting to others you recommend, thanks for doing these!

Mike Kings last blog post..The 7th Age Of A Business: Exhaustion

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14 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 30, 2009 at 7:18 am

Hi Mike, There never seems to be enough time, that’s for sure. Glad you like the articles and that I can be of service.

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15 irtiza104 June 4, 2009 at 7:39 pm

great articles. i wish i could see my article among them… :(

irtiza104s last blog post..All About Self Hypnosis

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