The quest for personal development often begins with a desire for change. What kind of change? Well, the kind that will result in a greater sense of happiness and satisfaction.
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When motivated people become aware that some aspect of their life is falling short of what they think is possible, they search for ways to make improvements. This is the underlying foundation all personal growth and development.
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It starts with conscious awareness
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Until we become consciously aware of the need for personal change, we will have no reason to make changes. It doesn’t matter how many other people see it, no change will be initiated until we become personally aware of the need.
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I wrote about my personal experience in this area in Personal Development – Is Your Ego Getting In the Way? As the title suggests, some degree of ego is often the reason that we don’t see ourselves the way others see us. But once we become aware of the need for change on a conscious level, then we are in a position to do something about it.
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The path of personal growth
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The process of learning and applying advanced life skills to increase the quality of our life is one that pays extremely high dividends. Once we discover first hand that our personal growth efforts actually do increase our sense of happiness and satisfaction, It can easily become a way of life.
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This creates a fundamental shift in the way we view our life. Instead of resisting change, we begin to seek it out. Rather than waiting for discomfort to make us aware of a need, our conscious awareness actively searches for areas that could be improved.
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There is more to life than personal change
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However, not everything in life can be, or should be, changed. In other words, change is not always the way to make things better. There is a point at which increasing awareness will inevitably lead us to this conclusion.
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To experience real peace and happiness in our life, we actually need to go beyond the concept of change and embrace an even greater principle. And once again, embracing this “next level” of personal growth will require that we get past our own ego. Which in this case means recognizing that it’s not up to us to fix everything.
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Acceptance – the state of peaceful coexistence
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The natural progression of our increasing awareness will eventually lead us to a state characterized by acceptance. That doesn’t mean that we will cease to grow and change, but the way we accomplish the growth will be different. Instead of pushing, we learn to allow. Our sense of urgency falls away because we feel content with the current reality.
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Acceptance is powerful on many levels. It’s the stage where we begin to lose that tendency to make judgments about people (including ourselves), situations, and experiences. Our growth becomes more effortless, as if we have been rowing our personal development boat and now we can relax because we have found the flow. All of a sudden there is a feeling of being harmonious with the world around us.
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Can you shortcut to the acceptance stage?
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Some people are naturally very accepting, which can be a blessing. It really depends on what you want from your life. If you want to be the best possible version of yourself, then just accepting everything as it is may not provide the proper motivation for personal growth. If all you want is to just “be” then total acceptance is the ticket.
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Personally, I prefer to achieve acceptance through personal development. As my conscious awareness expands on the path of personal change, acceptance becomes the greater expression of growth. For me, there is a huge sense of satisfaction that comes from the journey of self discovery.
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How do you feel about change and acceptance?
Do you think that personal growth leads to acceptance?
Feel free to share your thoughts!
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
This so hits into where I am in my life now. Especially the whole acceptance thing. I think there is a huge difference between acceptance and resignation. Acceptance doesn’t (for me) mean that I have to give up my values or beliefs or goals or dreams, it just means that I somehow seem to take life in stride more easily.I accept that the world is full of all kinds of people and situations. And yet, I also make my life as healthy, happy and fulfilling as I can. But if things don’t go the way I hoped I still embrace the situation and use it for growth. As opposed to just giving up and resigning myself to a failed dream where I roll over and die and that’s THAT.
This is an interesting topic as I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it just comes with age but one reaches a point where they seem embrace life, they become less judgmental, more compassionate, etc. It’s more easeful. There is peace.
But maybe it isn’t age as I know a lot of people my age who don’t feel this way. They are still either bucking life like crazy or totally resigned and giving up.
So maybe it’s that we get knocked around by life enough that we get the sharp edges clipped off. But some people are knocked around by life and they go bitter, angry and/or resigned. They accept that “bad things” are their fate. So it must be something we CHOOSE. We choose to use even the painful events of our lives to grown.
Maybe you have some thoughts on this Jonathan. It’s been a long hard week so my brain is not as clear tonight. But I really like the peace I felt in reading this post. Thank you my friend.
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Dare to Take Risks
Hi Robin, I think it’s a combination of experience and direction. If our direction in life is to grow and increase our conscious awareness, it will eventually lead us to acceptance. This is the path of personal development.
On the other hand, if life is just a battle and we are not expanding our awareness, it leads us in another direction.
Thanks for differentiating between acceptance and resignation. One is a personal victory, the other a defeat.
Twitter: mrjWells
I have found the acceptance that I have to step up and run the business when T, gets involved in his own thing and of course it is all part of our business plan. Is important to accept I am responsible for getting things done when he catches up on sleep. It doesn’t matter who takes care of business as long as it is done.
I use to get upset at him for working too many hours then of course having to catch up on sleep in order to be productive and healthy.
The problem is when he gets one of those error messages and has to figure it out. That can take up so much time.
I think I should write a book about marriage to a wed designer not complaining just the facts. I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Everyday is a new experience and I am never sure how long work is going to be, lol
BunnygotBlog´s last blog ..Labor Day Weekend – Summer Sendoff
Hi Bunny, you introduced an aspect of acceptance that I wasn’t really thinking about, but it certainly fits. Thanks for you input.
Twitter: mrjWells
Hi Jonathan,
For me personally Acceptance means Concious Personal Growth. Cause in accepting the world around you, you are automatically opening up your mind and your heart to new experiences, which in turn can be very empowering.
Conscious awareness is my favorite topic. I mean i believe in it so much that almost all my suggestions and thoughts revolve back to this state. I am so glad you took up this topic today. As you said it is a perfect extension to the “self realization” post i wrote.
As for me being accepting, I think i am in the process of. I am afraid that if i am completely accepting then there wont be any room for growth
Thank you for thinking and writing about my favorite topic
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Self Realization
Twitter: zeenatsyal
Hi Zeenat, it’s one of my favorite topics also. There is this evolving sense of balance that allows for change and acceptance to coexist. Our personal growth is much more balanced when we consider the value of change and acceptance like two sides of the same coin. I always appreciate your insights, thanks.
Twitter: mrjWells
Jonathan this article resonated with me on every level. “not everything in life can be, or should be, changed”, a lot of people are trying to change for the sake of changing and with acceptance of ourselves and the world around us we can change naturally and with comfort.
Have you written to any publishers yet
Steven Aitchison´s last blog ..Are You Planning to Fail
Twitter: StevenAitchison
Hey Steve, thanks for stopping by. I think it’s real easy to get caught up in the process of change and actually forget that that’s only half of the picture. The comments so far have shined even more light on the importance of acceptance on so many levels.
Twitter: mrjWells
Jonathan, you struck a cord with this one for me and you have me thinking more about this. The why do some get to acceptance at such different times in their lives, some with or without much personal development. While it may be the natural path of personal development, that personal development isn’t always the kind of personal development that we are active in writing about. Sometimes it comes strictly from a some big experience or struggle. I always have seen and personally experiences how a spiritual life and connection to God enables that acceptance regardless of where one is at with personal development. To me, its not a path at all since there are so many ways to have that same acceptance result. Hmmm, I’m still thinking on this one… Thanks for the provoking article!
Mike King´s last blog ..Book Review: Tribes
Twitter: mike_king
Hi Mike, you made some excellent points that I fully appreciate. My view of personal development is pretty expansive. Anything that helps us to become a better version of ourselves would qualify. That includes the lessons we learn from struggling, and most certainly from pursuing a relationship with our Grand Creator. We humans are a complex bunch and I think the concept of acceptance has many aspects. We learn to accept on various levels at various rates. I guess I was looking at the degree of acceptance that happens when our overall position is one of acceptance on most of those levels. Now you’ve got me thinking more about this whole subject. I love it.
Twitter: mrjWells
Well done once again Jonathan. I’ve finally figured out how I can accept myself now and still want to grow and change. It took a long time but it finally all clicked. I know some people have a hard time and think if you accept you aren’t motivated. Maybe that’s true for some people, but then I think they are understanding “acceptance” differently than I am. I accept that I still want to grow, but I’m not attached to specific outcomes. Somehow in all this I’ve find peace. I love my new outlook on life!
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..When Wonder Replaces Hope
Hi Stephen, you hit a key point here about how people understand the concept of acceptance differently. I think Robin hit the nail on the head when she differentiated between acceptance and resignation. They may seem the same to the casual observer, but in reality they are literally worlds apart.
Twitter: mrjWells
Without acceptance, recognizing the need for change can be more of a hindrance and source of frustration than the enjoyable growing experience that it really should be. I’ve experienced this myself many times, and thanks to articles like this, I now have a better perspective to balance my ambition.
Vin – NaturalBias´s last blog ..Proof that Modern Foods Cause Human Degeneration
Twitter: vinmiller
Hi Vin, thanks for stopping by and Joining the conversation. Life is a balancing act, that’s for sure.
Twitter: mrjWells
Hello Jonathan!
My first visit to your blog, I found you through Zeenat’a blog!
“Instead of resisting change, we begin to seek it out. Rather than waiting for discomfort to make us aware of a need…” This is a great statement! You’ve really brought out a fantastic point here. When we are aware of our selves and come to desire change, we go look for it! We look for areas to improve and ways to improve them, instead of avoiding change, we embrace it!
Very nice article!
Keith´s last blog ..Your Mind The Helm, Your Thoughts The Rudder
Hi Keith, and welcome to Advanced Life Skills. I just want to say thanks for joining the conversation and I hope you’ll come back and share your thoughts again real soon.
Twitter: mrjWells
A very interesting topic and post. I do think that personal growth leads to acceptance because with growth I think we realize we are multidimensional with both “good” qualities and other qualities we may want to change. Presumably, many people do have attributes they would like to work on and change and as they grow they realize it is important to accept not only the “good”, but everything about ourselves. There are ways to accept those things about ourselves that we may want to change and manage them so that those qualities we feel are more in alignment with who we really are outweigh and overshadow those qualities we want to change. I think understanding what we should change and what we should accept and manage is a major part of our personal growth. Thanks again for the thought provoking topic.
alternaview´s last blog ..There is no need to worry about the future
Change scares people. Why? They think they will be worse off after then the change then they were before. This is usually ran by random over analyzed thoughts of fear and worry. People need to develop a positive mind set and shift their thoughts from negative to positive. Everything is a mindset, so change those thoughts and focus on positivity.
Twitter: positivespiller
Thanks for the inspirational post. As the previous commenter also suggested, I think fear plays a big part in preventing change. Not just fear of the new, but also fear of loss of the old. Most people are in their comfort zone and fear stepping out of it. But that fear can be conquered by willingness, curiosity and, as you say, the genuine desire for change.
Paul Hancox, copySnips´s last blog ..How To Eliminate Objections Using Headlines…