What if you could take stress and turn it into success. Wouldn’t that be a better way to use your energy? Sometimes a simple shift in the way we direct our energy and focus can radically alter the way we experience life.

Often times, we don’t really need more time and energy. We just need to shift the way we are using what we already have. Let’s look at three specific ways that we can create such a shift.

Accept the fact that some things can’t be changed

We can’t change the past, period. Worrying about it will only create stress. One of the best things you can do for yourself is accept that fact. Everything that has happened in your life up to this point is history, it’s completely unchangeable. One of the biggest ways to waste your time and energy is to fret over the past; it’s gone so let it go.  

Looking back at missed opportunities won’t recreate them. Feeling guilty over past mistakes doesn’t serve you. Harboring any kind of negative energy toward yourself or others over things that have already happened will only leave you feeling drained and frustrated. It is a complete waste of vital force to hang on to any negative emotional anchors from the past.

Try this: Make a list of any past events, situations, relationships, or mistakes that you feel bad about. Write them all down along with the negative feelings attached to them. When you are done, read each item and then ask yourself: “What do I need to do to get closure here?” If you need to apologize to someone, go do it. Most of the time all you need for closure is to let it go.

Once you’ve answered that question for each item, tear the list up and throw it, and those negative feelings, away. It’s trash and that’s where you should put it. The next time you are tempted to revisit those feelings or events, tell yourself “no emotional dumpster diving.”

Accept the fact that some things can always be changed

One thing that you can always change is your perception of, and reaction to, everything that happens in your life. It’s your life, you own it and that means that you have the power and the freedom to decide the meaning and value of every experience.

Many people are so locked into reaction mode that they fail to recognize their own ability to control their response. This mindset is a huge source of stress. Nobody makes us mad or happy, we choose those feelings. When we decide to exercise the ability to choose our emotional response, we tap into a huge source of personal power. We are not victims of our circumstances unless we choose to be.

Try this: The next time you feel like “reacting” instead of responding, ask yourself: “What else could this mean?” Then come up with three alternate meanings and choose the one that feels the most empowering. Now respond to that. Doing this will transform a stressful reaction into a successful response.

Don’t let other people’s problems become your problems

Some people are just a disaster looking for a place to happen. One way to avoid getting stressed out along with them is to simply get out of their way. If someone is in a bad mood, do your best to stay away from them. If the driver behind you is tailgating, pull over and let them pass. It’s their problem, but taking it personally will make it your problem too.

If you go out to eat and there are loud, obnoxious people next to you, change tables. If someone tries to vent their anger at you, excuse yourself without taking personal offense. By staying alert to potentially dangerous situations you will be able to avoid them most of the time.  You can’t control the way other people behave, but you can control whether or not you allow their problems to become your problems.

Try this: Review the most common scenarios where you have allowed other people to stress you out. Now devise an alternate strategy that you can use the next time that situation arises. Make sure it is a strategy that allows you to remain emotionally neutral. Rehearse that strategy in your mind so you can easily implement it next time.

Choose success over stress

As you can see, we all have opportunities to redirect our personal resources toward success and away from stress. Isn’t it great that we each have the power to choose where our energy will go and how it will be used?

Do you use any of these strategies personally?
Do you have a favorite way to avoid stress and create success?
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Have you got endless demands tugging at you from all directions? Does your life seem to be spinning out of control? It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed out when you can’t ever seem to catch up.

Do you think bringing your life into balance would require a major life change? It may not be as difficult as what you imagine.  Did you realize that, regardless of your circumstances, a true sense of balance actually comes from within you, not from your surroundings?

3 Ways to reduce feelings of stress

Here are three simple strategies to help you reduce feelings of stress by building a greater sense of inner peace and harmony. 

1) Make some time for you. One of the first things we tend to sacrifice when we are busy is our personal time.  Instead, we devote all of our energy and attention to being productive and taking care of those never-ending demands. Over time this depletes our energy and we begin to feel more and more burdened by our responsibilities. This feeling of being weighed down increases our perceived level of stress.

To create a greater sense of balance, having some quiet time to your self is essential.  You may be thinking: “I don’t have any time available for that,” but something amazing happens when you regularly make some personal time; you find yourself feeling happier and more energetic, your focus improves – and you still get plenty done!  Just a few minutes spent doing something that you truly enjoy can help restore your inner sense of peace and happiness.

2) Look after your personal well being. Beyond making time for things you enjoy, there are many other practical ways to balance your life on a daily basis.  Getting enough sleep so you actually feel rested is a great start. Replacing fast food with nutritious food and getting some form of daily exercise will make a huge difference.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re really tired or stressed, even the smallest problem can seem like a nightmare?  On the other hand, when you’re feeling well rested and centered, you’re much better able to handle those little ups and downs.  Caring for your physical needs is one sure way to consistently replenish your energy and emotional resource levels. This means that you’ll have the strength, patience, and stamina to handle daily challenges without getting stressed out.

3) Give yourself some leeway. Did you know that one of the biggest causes of stress is rigid expectations?  We all do it from time to time; get a mental picture of how our lives “should be” – and get really annoyed when our outer circumstances don’t cooperate!  One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is a flexible state of mind.  In other words, learn how to detach from unrealistic expectations and go with the flow.

When you have a flexible mindset, you’re able to deal with problems much more effectively because you’re not working against a preconceived notion of how things “should be”.  You’re able to tap into your creative problem solving skills and move through challenges without all the drama and frustration. So cut yourself some slack instead of stressing over every detail.

Changing our perspective is a good start

We see that a few minor changes in perspective can dramatically reduce our stress levels and raise our sense of well being and balance, but that’s not the whole solution. Now that you’re feeling more resourceful, you may also want to examine your external circumstances and see if there are some small adjustments you can make to help support your new, more balanced mindset.

Are there ways that you can tweak your schedule or reduce the complexity of your daily routine? Are you caught in multitasking mindset? Have you over committed your time and resources? These are all possible sources of external stress that you might want to examine now that you’ve cleared away some of the internal sources. As is true for most things, balance is the key to overcoming stress and finding greater joy in your day to day life.

Have you sensed an increase in stress in your life?
Do you have some favorite ways to avoid feeling stressed out?
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Have you ever noticed how sometimes you will be going along feeling just fine, then all of a sudden, some little thing pushes you right over the edge? That’s how stress usually hits me. I won’t even have a clue that I’m stressed out until I respond inappropriately to something.
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Then there are those super resourceful times, you know the ones, when nothing seems to phase you. It’s like you can handle anything without getting the least bit rattled. In fact, I’m like that so much of the time that it really surprises me when I lose it over something trivial.
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Why such different reactions to stress?
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Have you ever wondered why it is that our reaction to stress can vary so much? What is it that makes us untouchable one day and vulnerable the next?
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Well, there are several factors at work here, but they all have something in common. They all fit into the category of things that can be improved with the application of a few advanced life skills. Granted, we can’t always have an influence on the source of our stress. But we can have a powerful influence on the way it effects us.
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Internal resource levels
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This is the major variable when it comes to how we respond to stress. When we are running low on internal resources we become much more susceptible to the influence of stress. You know the feeling. The feeling that you are being pulled in ten different directions and nothing is working out the way it should.
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It doesn’t take very long before your internal resources are stretched to the max in a situation like that. That’s when some little thing pushes you to your tipping point. It’s not that little thing that caused you to wig, it’s everything that came before it. That was just the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.
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Stress is cumulative
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Even small amounts of unresolved stress, applied constantly over a period of time, can tax your resources to the breaking point. This kind of stress is more insidious and will often go unnoticed until we are ready to explode. Think of all the possible sources that might be contributing to this kind of stress.
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One of the reasons we may not notice cumulative stress is because we tend to compartmentalize it. Work stress goes in one internal file, and financial stress goes in another. The problem is, our nervous system feels the cumulative effect. On an emotional level, it all spills over into the same stress pool, like dozens of tiny streams all flowing into one big lake.
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Stress is not always a bad thing
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Stress is a reality of life, and believe it or not, that’s not always a bad thing. A manageable amount of stress can be extremely motivating. It’s amazing how much we can accomplish when the right amount of pressure is on.
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Have you ever amazed yourself by accomplishing something extraordinary because there was some kind of powerful incentive involved? Whether it was a deadline, a bonus, or a limited window of opportunity, it was still pressure that had this motivating influence on you.
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Controlled amounts of stress make us stronger
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When we exercise we expose our bodies to stress in a progressive way. As our physical systems adapt to the new levels of stress, we get stronger. But you wouldn’t want to try to run a marathon or do a 500 pound bench press after two weeks of training. That kind of stress overload would be a disaster.
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Some of the same principals apply emotionally. We can actually raise stress tolerance levels if we go about it progressively. For example, the responsibility of getting married might be perceived as a manageable challenge for a young person. But getting married to a woman with three children might not seem quite so doable. And yet, growing a family progressively feels perfectly normal.
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Seeking balance
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So how do we manage our exposure to stress so it serves us instead of crushing us? Lets look at some practical ways to address the sources of stress we’ve just considered.
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1) Internal resourcefulness. As we learn advanced life skills that foster our personal growth, we become more emotionally resourceful. By learning to adjust our perception of the people and events in our life, we actually change the way they register on our nervous system. Perception can be our greatest asset, or our worst liability. We can choose whether something is stressful or not. Yes, this is a learned skill, but it’s the one that determines the quality of our life. That makes it worth learning!
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2) Don’t let issues go unresolved. To prevent the accumulation of stress we need to resolver problems as they arise. Instead of wishing things would change, we need to initiate change where possible. If there is friction with others, reach out to resolve it. If some area of your life has become a source of stress, give it some attention. By working on potentially stressful situations as they arise, you stop the cumulative effect before it gets overwhelming.
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3) Raise your stress tolerance. If some big undertaking feels overwhelming (stressful), break it down into manageable stages. Instead of focusing on the whole project, turn your attention to one piece at a time. In reality, almost every big task is made up of smaller steps performed in a progressive sequence. Training yourself to mentally break things down into smaller components will change your perception from overwhelming to manageable.
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Think in terms of less, not more
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Filling your life to the brim with productive pursuits is a proven recipe for stress. Don’t feel that “there’s no time” for activities that help you unwind. Regular attention to the relaxing side of life will actually increase your productivity because you will be more resourceful.
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Stress is taking a ridiculously high toll on people these days. A huge percentage of physical, mental, and emotional disorders are the direct result of stress. I encourage you to take a serious look at your life and take steps to lower, manage, and resolve the sources of stress you discover. Life is meant to be enjoyed, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. This means learning to balance stress so it doesn’t consume us.
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Do you have some stress reduction tips to share?
Have you found ways to create balance in this area?
Are you stressed out?
The lines are open!
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Free updates via RSS feed or email
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Related articles you may enjoy:
11 Steps to a More Positive You
3 Ways to Turn Challenges Into Opportunities
7 Things to Know About Yourself
The Good Life, More Than Money?
Seeking Balance in an Unbalanced World

Editors Note: This is a guest post from Vin Miller of Natural Bias
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Have you ever had a great idea that you were unable to recall after switching your focus to another subject? This is actually quite common, and whether you’re aware of it or not, it’s one of the many consequences and frustrations of multitasking. Unfortunately, the disadvantages of multitasking go much deeper than the frustration of losing a good idea.
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Multitasking is a Source of Stress
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As a reader of Advanced Life Skills, you probably already know that humans are inherently bad at multitasking and that it’s a poor strategy for productivity. What you might not realize is that multitasking and frequent interruptions are sources of stress that can have a notable impact on your health and wellbeing.
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Despite the fact that multitasking is generally regarded as a bad thing by most personal development experts, research has shown that multitasking can increase productivity to some extent which is a likely a result of the mental pressure and sense of urgency that it imposes. However, this pressure is a form of stress and will invoke the physiological stress response. As such, frequent multitasking is a form of chronic stress that over time will promote physical breakdown of your body and compromise your health.
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Multitasking and focus
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The human mind works best when focusing on a single thread of thoughts. When we try to focus on multiple unrelated thoughts at the same time, whether by choice or as a result of being interrupted, it becomes difficult to regain focus and remember where we left off. This can be quite frustrating, especially when facing the pressure of a deadline.
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Even if multitasking does increase productivity, it’s not sustainable as a long term strategy and the benefits would be short lived. Over time, as the resulting stress accumulates and impairs your health, fatigue and mental fogginess will become more prominent, and both productivity and mood will likely decline.
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Why Stress is Dangerous to Your Personal Development
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Although there are many aspects of personal development, I consider the most important and foundational ones to be development of character, awareness of values, and pursuit of fulfillment. Without a doubt, these aspects require a lot of dedication and effort. While health is often addressed as a subtopic of personal development, I think too few people appreciate the influence that optimal health can have on the emotional balance, mental clarity, energy, and motivation needed to maximize personal growth.
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With the busy lifestyle that many of us live, the stress of multitasking is very common. However, this is certainly not the only lifestyle factor that can compromise your health, and in turn, your ability to pursue personal development. As such, it’s important to embrace a well rounded lifestyle that supports health just as much as it supports productivity and mental advancement. After all, you can be in excellent health without having any direction or emotional stability in your life, or you can be in full control of your emotions while being limited by chronic health problems. Why not pursue the best of both worlds?
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Use Your Values to Reduce the Stress of Multitasking
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I’m sure most of you are well aware of the importance of knowing your core values and staying congruent with them. However, even for those of us who fully embrace the importance of our values, it’s easy to lose focus of them while engaged in our daily activities. It’s easy to postpone the important but difficult tasks that will help us grow and stay congruent with our values in favor of easier tasks and entertaining distractions. The result is often an empty feeling of not having accomplished our goals for the day which often leads to frustration, stress, and motivation to multitask in order to make up for lost time.
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Who you are today is the culmination of the many small decisions you’ve made each day throughout your life. If there’s a difference between who you are today and who you want to be years from now, you’ll need to make sure that as many of your future decisions as possible are congruent with your goals. The only way this will happen is if you regularly prioritize the tasks that will be most influential in bringing you closer to your goals and give them the dedicated and uninterrupted attention that they deserve.
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Avoiding the Stress of Multitasking
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The following 5 tips are designed to help you reduce your perceived need to multitask.
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1) Each morning, prepare a task list for the day and prioritize the tasks by importance in relation to your goals and values. Focus on the most important ones first and leave the less important tasks for another day if you run out of time for them.
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2) Get to work on your most important tasks early in the day so that you don’t run out of time.
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3) If you’re working on a computer, close down all windows that aren’t necessary for the task at hand, especially things like email, Twitter, Facebook, instant messenger, etc.
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4) If possible, shut off your cell phone for a while to avoid unnecessary interruption.
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5) Work in an environment that is conducive to focus. If necessary, isolate yourself from people who might unnecessarily interrupt or distract you.
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Supporting Your Personal Development with Optimal Health
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Striving for simplicity is a significant part of personal development for many people, including myself. If you’re not a health nut, the last thing you want is to complicate your life with the inconvenience of implementing healthier habits. To an extent, this additional burden is part of the required commitment to reaching your potential.
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Resource: Living a healthy lifestyle is not nearly as complicated or laborious as some people make it out to be. If you’d like to learn more about a natural and common sense based approach to living a healthy lifestyle, I suggest that you take advantage of my free course 7 Simple Steps to a Leaner, Happier, and Healthier You!
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…Vin Miller writes about maximizing life through health, fitness, and perspective.
…You can read more from Vin at his blog Natural Bias
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How do you feel about multitasking?
Does it increase stress or help you get more done?
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Free updates via RSS feed or email
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Related Articles:
Clarity, Focus and Motivation
Do You Have A Plan of Action?
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Focus – Visualize – Believe – Achieve!
Using Applied Focus Sessions to Boost Productivity

It doesn’t really matter who we are or what we do, from time to time, things go wrong. We can do our best to cover our bases, but sometimes it’s just outside of our control. What’s important is not so much why bad things happen, but how we respond when they do.

Why am I writing about this?

Have you ever had one of those stretches when it’s just one thing after another? Sure you have because it happens to everyone. Well, that’s why I am writing about this because I just went through it. After I tell you about my experience, I want to share some attitude tweaks that can help next time the stuff hits the fan in your life.

Most of us try not to invite challenges (problems) into our lives. When we do have to deal with them, our attitude can definitely influence how we feel about the experience.

It was a normal day until…

I had posted an interview about my book and there was a tremendous amount of interest. Well, that’s a good thing, right? It was gratifying to see thousands of people taking the time to have a closer look. Then someone leaves me a message that the “buy Link” isn’t working. Not exactly what I wanted to hear on that particular day. Doesn’t really sound like a difficult fix, right?

As it happens, I use a very cool software application called DLGuard (download guard) to help prevent online theft. My control panel would only tell me that my files were corrupted and consequently, I couldn’t log on. Long story short, they went into my server and fixed the problem. Evidently, someone had hacked my server and attached some malicious code to the page. So, six hours later the problem was solved.

But wait, what happened to my blog?

You guessed it, the malicious code corrupted my blog theme and left a scrambled mess that I didn’t discover until the next morning. I tried for many hours to do a repair but it wasn’t to be. I finally had to trash it, and then upload and customize a new one.

Well, the whole experience lasted about 24 hours and I have no idea how long the sales link was dysfunctional. This is the second time my site has been hacked and I am told that this kind of thing happens more often than you might think. So we learn from the experience and move on.

Nobody is immune

From heavy equipment operators who get their hydraulic lines slashed, to credit card fraud and natural disasters, sometimes bad things just happen. When they do, it can easily turn your world upside down. The question is, can you get through it without going bonkers?

I have learned some helpful little attitude tweaks that help me in these challenging situations and you may find them useful. Not every point can be applied in every situation, but try to use as many as you can. Here we go…

10 Ways to weather the storm

1) Detach yourself emotionally. Most of the emotions that grow out of negative situations are negative. When you refuse to be engaged emotionally, the situation becomes emotionally neutral. That means that you can deal with it rationally instead of reacting to it emotionally. This also changes how the experience is recorded in your memory and nervous system.

2) Forget about asking why. You can ask why later, for now focus on asking, “how do I meet this challenge?” Your mind loves to solve problems. By asking “how” you are telling your mind that there is a solution to be found. It will immediately go to work looking for the solution. This keeps your focus on creating a positive outcome.

3) Look for the value. There is almost always some value in challenging situations. I learned how to fix my blog theme. If there is a next time I’ll be able to do it in less than an hour. I also learned that DLGuard has excellent customer service. I also took some additional security steps to help lessen the chances of this happening again.

4) Ask for help. We can’t always get ourselves out of a mess. Don’t be afraid to ask those who are more knowledgeable for help or direction. Most of the time they are glad to help or at least point you in the right direction. I am not the most tech savvy guy around, so when I need help, I ask. The willingness of others to lend assistance is heartwarming.

5) Remember, it’s temporary. One way or another, you will get through it. Every situation has a conclusion. Even if it’s not the conclusion you wanted, at least it will be over and you can start from there. If you have to rebuild some aspect of your life, you will probably do it better and faster than you did the last time.

6) As long as you’re at it, upgrade. As it turns out, I was due for an upgrade on my blog theme and my version of DLGuard. Because time was a factor, I couldn’t do those upgrades during the repair, but I am doing them now. So, the end result will put me ahead of where I was. That means I have benefited from the experience.

7) Role play. This is an effective tactic for removing yourself emotionally from a frustrating challenge. Pretend that you have been called in to handle the situation because of you calm and logical demeanor. The person facing the challenge needs someone who is cool and capable, and that’s why you are there.

Take rescue remedy. Maybe you’ve never heard of Rescue Remedy, let me tell you this is some good stuff. It’s a flower remedy developed by Dr. Edward Bach. Flower remedies work on a very subtle level to help with a wide array of emotional issues. As you can tell from the name, Rescue Remedy is there to rescue you during periods of emotional stress.

9) Laugh your way through it. Sometimes things get so ridiculous that it’s almost laughable. When that happens, go ahead and laugh. When you laugh at a stressful situation it provides a healthy outlet for your emotions. Laughter is a much better way to release that emotional stress than anger is.

10) Don’t take it personal. Sometimes it can feel like you have been singled out to receive more than your share of hardships. Everybody faces more than enough challenges. The universe has not conspired against you. To my knowledge, I haven’t done anything to provoke a hacker to attack my site and who ever did it probably has no idea who I am. Sometimes bad stuff just happens. Taking things personally just leads to excuses and blame and a whole host of other worthless thoughts and emotions. Don’t even go there, just get past it and move on.

Learning to roll with the punches

I wish I could say that at some point in your personal development bad things will never happen again. That would be nice, but I like to keep it real. How you cope with the challenges we face says a lot about our emotional maturity and true nature. Learning a few simple coping skills can go a long way toward improving the quality of this journey we call life.

Do you have a favorite coping skill?

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Related Articles:
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Do You See Blessings in Challenges?
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10 Ways to Overcome Stress

Stress is so much a part of life anymore that many people exist in an ongoing state of “fight or flight.” This is an extremely dangerous condition, emotionally and physically. Prolonged hyper adrenal activity will literally burn you out in a big way.
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Because of the prevalence of this problem, I am always on the lookout for practical tips to a less stressful life. Leo Batauta, at zenhabits published a great article called “20 Ways to Eliminate Stress From Your Life.” Along with his opening story, I have included twelve of his practical tips in this post. You can simply follow the link if you want to read the entire list. So, here’s Leo…
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You often see articles on ways to unwind and relax after a stressful day, which I always find useful, but for me the most important advice would be to get to the source of the problem, and cut stress out before it even happens.
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By careful editing of your life, and changing certain habits, you can eliminate most (not all) sources of stress in your life.
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I don’t believe that a stress-free life is possible. Stress is a response to challenges in life, and a life without challenges is too boring to contemplate. However, I do believe that most of the stress in our lives is unnecessary, and that it can be eliminated by taking some simple (and some not-so-simple) steps. It can’t be accomplished overnight — I’ve been eliminating stressors in my life for awhile now, and I’m still not done. But I think it’s a worthwhile goal.
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Let’s first take a look at an example — it’s a little extreme, but it exemplifies the typical stressors in people’s lives. Let’s say Fred gets up in the morning, waking up late, and now has to rush to get ready. He’s so rushed that he spills his coffee on his shirt and has to change, a nicks himself shaving. He heads out the door and then has to go back in the house because he forgot his wallet. He gets in the car and realizes he forgot his keys.
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Now he’s on the way in to work and is in the middle of rush-hour traffic — and his temper starts to flare after someone cuts him off. He’s honking at people, cursing, and arrives to work late and in a bad mood. He snaps at someone and is surly all morning. His desk is covered in piles of paper, and he can’t find that report he needs to work on. His inbox is overflowing and his email notification is going off, and he sees he has 36 messages to respond to. He knows he’s late on two projects and his boss isn’t happy. He’s got to finish 5 tasks before the 11 a.m. meeting, and he’s got meetings all afternoon.
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You get the idea. His day does not go well, and he hits rush-hour traffic on the way home. He gets home late, exhausted, completely stressed, his mind still on his late and as-yet uncompleted projects, his still-full inbox and email inbox, and all the stuff piling up that he has to work on tomorrow. The house is a mess and he snaps at his family. His kids have not put things away exactly where he told them to put them away, so he begins to yell at them. He has a quick, greasy dinner in front of the TV and zones out before falling asleep late.
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Again, this is a bit extreme, but you can see through this illustration some of the things that stress people out. There are many more, of course, and I won’t cover all of them here.
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But these sources of stress can be eliminated with a little thought. Here’s how:
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Identify stressors. This is the most important step of all, as identifying the things that stress you out in your life is the first step towards eliminating them. Take 10 minutes to think about what stresses you out during the day. What weekly occurrences stress you out? What people, activities, things cause stress in your life? Make a Top 10 list, and see which of them can be eliminated, and start to weed them out. For those that can’t find ways to make them less stressful.
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Eliminate unnecessary commitments. I did a post on editing your commitments before … apply those concepts here. We all have many commitments in our life, starting with work but also including commitments related to kids, our spouses, things to do at home, other family, civic, side work, religious, hobbies, online activities and more. Consider each of them, the amount of stress they provide, and the value you get out of them. Edit brutally, and take steps today to remove the ones that stress you out the most.
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Disorganization. We’re all disorganized to some extent. Even if we’ve organized something, and created a great system for keeping it that way, things tend to move towards chaos over time. But disorganization stresses us out, in terms of visual clutter, and in making it difficult to find stuff we need. Take time to get things in your life organized, starting with your desk and the papers in your home, and moving on to other areas.
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Late. Being late always stresses us out. We have to rush to get ready, rush to get there, and stress out the whole time about looking bad and being late. Learn the habit of being early, and this stress disappears. Make a conscious effort to start getting ready earlier, and to leave earlier. This also makes driving less stressful. Time yourself to see how long it actually takes to get ready, and how long it actually takes to get somewhere. You’ve probably been underestimating these times. Once you know these times, you can plan backwards so that you show up 10 minutes early each time. It’s a good feeling.
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Multitasking. Having multiple tasks going on at the same time might seem productive, but in actuality it slows us down from actually focusing on a task and completing it — and it stresses us out in the meantime. Learn to single-task.
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Eliminate energy drains. If you’ve analyzed your life (in Step 1) and found things that stress you out, you might have also noticed things that drain your energy. Certain things in our life just cause us to be more exhausted than others, with less value. Identify them, and cut them out. You’ll have much more energy and much less stress. Happiness ensues.
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Avoid difficult people. You know who they are. If you take a minute to think about it, you can identify all the people in your life — bosses, coworkers, customers, friends, family, etc. — who make your life more difficult. Now, you could confront them and do battle with them, but that will most certainly be difficult. Just cut them out of your life. 
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Help others. It may sound contradictory to add more tasks to your life by trying to help other people (you’ve got enough to do), but if you were to add anything to your life, this should be it. Helping others, whether volunteering for a charity organization or just making an effort to be compassionate towards people you meet, not only gives you a very good feeling, it somehow lowers your stress level. Of course, this doesn’t work if you try to control others, or help others in a very rushed and frenetic way — learn to take it easy, enjoy yourself, and let things happen, as you work to make the lives of others better.
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Relax throughout the day. It’s important to take mini-breaks during your work day. Stop what you’re doing, massage your shoulders and neck and head and hands and arms, get up and stretch, walk around, drink some water. Go outside and appreciate the fresh air and the beautiful sky. Talk to someone you like. Life doesn’t have to be all about productivity. You should also avoid using online activity too much as your de-stressing activity — get away from the computer to relax.
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Exercise. This is common advice for stress relief, and that’s because it works … but it’s also a stress prevention method. Exercising helps relieve the stress buildup, it gives you some quiet time to contemplate and relax, and just as importantly, it makes you more fit. A fitter person is better equipped to handle stress. Another important factor: being unhealthy can be a major stressor (especially once you have to go to the hospital), and exercise can help prevent that.
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Eat healthy. This goes hand-in-hand with exercise as a stress prevention method, of course. Become healthier and a major source of stress will disappear. Also, I’ve found that greasy food, for me, puts me in a worse mood and can contribute to stress levels immediately.
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Be grateful. This might not be as obvious as some of the others, but developing an attitude of gratitude (I sound like a preacher with that rhyme!) is a way of thinking positive, eliminating negative thinking from your life, and thereby reducing stress. Learn to be grateful for what you have, for the people in your life, and see it as a gift. With this sort of outlook on life, stress will go down and happiness will go up. That’s a winning formula.
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Implementing even one of these tips into your life can make a significant difference in you stress levels. Why not start with the one that seems easiest for you, and then gradually add the others. This time of year can have it’s own variety of stress, so now is probably a good time to get started. 

There is an insidious problem that can sneak into your life and turn it upside down. It can wreck your health, your relationships and your career.

As you probably guessed, I am talking about stress. Yes, we’re all exposed to it, but we don’t have to become infected. Leo Babauta of Zen Habits put together his top 10 list of stress busters and I wanted to share it with you.

Stress is a major problem for many people — a hectic, stressful job, a chaotic home life, bills to worry about, and bad habits such as unhealthy eating, drinking and smoking can lead to a mountain of stress.

If your life is full of stress like mine once was, there are some simple things you can do to get your life to a more manageable level.

Now, your life will probably never be stress-free — I don’t think that’s even desirable, even if it is possible, because stress is something that challenges us and helps us grow at a reasonable level. But when stress gets too high, it causes us to be unhappy and unhealthy.

It wasn’t that long ago when I was working long hours in a very stressful job, with little time for my family. I had a lot of debt and too many bills. I was unhappy and stressed out all the time.

So I made some drastic changes. I quit my job. I simplified my life. I started exercising and eating healthier. I began to eliminate my debt. And I learned some habits that, when applied on a daily basis, can really transform the way you live, in a positive way.

How did I do all of this? One thing at a time. I didn’t do a major overhaul of my life. I changed one habit a month, and gradually over the course of a year or two changed a lot of things in my life.

I won’t guarantee that all of these will work for you. They worked for me, but each person is different. Pick and choose the ones that will work best for you, and give them a try. One at a time.

1. One thing at a time. This is the simplest and best way to start reducing your stress, and you can start today. Right now. Focus as much as possible on doing one thing at a time. Clear your desk of distractions. Pick something to work on. Need to write a report? Do only that. Remove distractions such as phones and email notifications while you’re working on that report. If you’re going to do email, do only that. This takes practice, and you’ll get urges to do other things. Just keep practicing and you’ll get better at it.

2. Simplify your schedule. A hectic schedule is a major cause of high stress. Simplify by reducing the number of commitments in your life to just the essential ones. Learn to say no to the rest — and slowly get out of commitments that aren’t beneficial to you. Schedule only a few important things each day, and put space between them. Get out of meetings when they aren’t absolutely essential. Leave room for down time and fun.

3. Get moving. Do something each day to be active — walk, hike, play a sport, go for a run, do yoga. It doesn’t have to be grueling to reduce stress. Just move. Have fun doing it.

4. Develop one healthy habit this month. Other than getting active, improving your health overall will help with the stress. But do it one habit at a time. Eat fruits and veggies for snacks. Floss every day. Quit smoking. Cook something healthy for dinner. Drink water instead of soda. One habit at a time.

5. Do something calming. What do you enjoy that calms you down? For many people, it can be the “get moving” activity discussed above. But it could also be taking a nap, or a bath, or reading, or having sex (which can also be considered a “get moving” activity if you do it for longer than 5 minutes). Other people are calmed by housework or yard work. Some people like to meditate, or take a nature walk. Find your calming activity and try to do it each day.

6. Simplify your finances. Finances can be a drain on your energy and a major stressor. If that’s true with you, figure out ways to simplify things. Automate savings and bill payments and debt payments. Spend less by going shopping (at malls or online) much less. Find ways to have fun that don’t involve spending money.

7. Have a blast! Have fun each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I like to play with my kids — they take my mind off everything and are really hilarious. I also like to play sports (again, often with my kids). Board games are fun. Sex, again, can be a fun activity. Whatever you choose, be sure to laugh.

8. Get creative. Throwing yourself into a creative activity is another great way to de-stress and to prevent stress. I like writing, but others like to paint or play music or sketch or make pottery or do interior design or build things.

9. Declutter. This is a favorite of mine. I like to take 20-30 minutes and just go through a room, getting rid of stuff we don’t use or need anymore. I look around at anything that’s cluttering up a room, and get rid of it or find a better place for it. When I’m done, I have a nice, peaceful environment for work, play, and living. Do this a little at a time — it can be one of your “fun activities”.

10. Be early. I will admit that it’s hard to be early when you have to get 6 kids ready (seriously — try it!). But being late can be very stressful. Try to leave earlier by getting ready earlier, or by scheduling more space between events. Things always take longer than normal, so schedule some buffer time: extra time to get ready, to commute, to do errands before you need to be somewhere, to attend a meeting before another scheduled appointment. If you get somewhere early, it’s good to have some reading material.

How do you keep the stress in your life manageable?

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Given that we have a limited amount of resources; attention, energy and time, how we divide our resources greatly affects the success of our desired outcome. The more focused we are at any one thing, the more energy gets concentrated into that thing.

Attention can be compared to the sharpness of a knife. A knife is sharp because energy has been focused at the blade. Thus, the more focused the energy is at the blade, the sharper the knife, the higher the cutting power, and the stronger the knife. If energy is not focused at the blade, we end up with a dull knife, with lowered cutting power – weaker knife. A dull knife may be good for spreading butter, but if your goal was to cut through soda cans, you have missed your desired outcome.

When we try to do too much, it is as if we are trying to sharpen too many knifes in our limited time. We juggle between the sharpening of the different knifes, and in the end, not one knife is sharpened enough to be deemed useful. We can be much more effective if we spend our time and focused energy sharpening one knife, and move on to another knife only when the first one has reached its desired outcome.

One example of doing too much is having many goals that we are trying to achieve in the same short period of time. The term many is subjective, and we have individual thresholds for what that means for each of us. There are exceptions to this, and there are people who are exceptional at multi-tasking. I happen to know that I am not one of those people.

If you are like me, then perhaps you can relate to the feeling of doing too much, and how that tension can take us away from what matters to us most. Here are some potential effects that can arise from doing too much. Becoming aware of these is the first step towards adjusting our life situation and priorities towards a more balanced lifestyle.

• Mental Noise – Constantly thinking about the things still left to do can clutter our inner space. They become mental noise and are very distracting.
   
• Unable to Focus – When we are distracted by too many things, we feel overwhelmed, our focus becomes diffused, and things appear ‘foggy’ from our perspective. In this state, it’s tough to focus on our current tasks, think clearly or make fast & rational decisions.
   
• No Personal Life – We can become consumed by all the external achievements we are trying to obtain for the prized title of success. In so doing, we can forget to experience Joy. We forget to look after ourselves, our health, and our personal life. We become unbalanced.
  
  
• Exhaustion – When our energies are not properly managed, we feel exhausted and dis-eased in our bodies. This can physically manifest in different ways. For me, exhaustion translates to lower back pain, sleeplessness and dehydration.
  
  
• Self-Inflicted Guilt – When we become too ambitious, we tend to underestimate how long things will take and this will result in an overloaded plate. We commit ourselves to this overloaded plate, and set ourselves up for failure, unconsciously. When we realized that we haven’t done everything we’ve set out to do, we become subject to the guilt inflicted by our own minds. This can be destructive to our motivation and self-esteem.
   
• Hurt Relationships – When our attention is fully occupied with too many targets, we don’t have room for other important life areas, such as developing and maintaining relationships with people.
  
  
• Unsatisfied – When we have too much on our plate, we are constantly chasing after the things we haven’t done yet and forget to celebrate what we’ve accomplished. Our attention is spread out so thin, that we cannot really excel at achieving any of our goals. We become dissatisfied. Similar to self-inflicted guilt, this feeling is not conducive to healthy self-esteem.
   
• Failed Partnerships - When we over commit ourselves to more than we will have time and energy to do, we end up sacrificing certain goals. If we have goals with other people, such as partnerships in a startup business, we may end up disappointing them. They may end up concluding that you’re an unreliable and flaky person. At the extreme, friendships may be hurt as a result of failed business relationships. I’ve personally been on both ends of such a scenario, and I would advise anyone to try to avoid this.

Source: Think Simple Now 

What goals are you working on right now?
What do you get stressed over?
Did I forget to mention something?
Your voice matters – please share by commenting.

Have you got endless demands tugging at you from all directions? Does your life seem to be spinning out of control? It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed out when you can’t ever seem to catch up.

Do you think bringing your life into balance would require major life changes? It may not be as difficult as you imagine. Did you realize that, regardless of your circumstances, a true sense of balance actually comes from within you, not from your surroundings?

Here are three simple ways to begin building a greater sense of inner peace and harmony:

1) Make some time for you.

One of the first things we tend to sacrifice when we’re busy is our personal time. Instead we devote all of our energy and attention to being productive and taking care of the never-ending demands. Over time this depletes our energy and we begin to feel more and more burdened by our responsibilities.

To live a more balanced life, having some quiet time to your self is essential. You may believe that you don’t have any time available for yourself, but something amazing happens when you regularly make some personal time; you find yourself feeling happier and more energetic, your focus improves – and you still get plenty done! Just a few minutes spent doing something that that you truly enjoy can help transforming your stress into peace and happiness.

2) Look after your personal well being.

Beyond making time for things you enjoy, there are many other practical ways to balance your life on a daily basis. Getting enough sleep so you actually feel rested is a great start, as well as eating nutritious food, exercising daily and speaking kindly to yourself.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re really tired or stressed, even the smallest problem can seem like a nightmare? On the other hand, when you’re feeling well rested and centered, you’re much better able to handle those little ups and downs. Caring for your physical needs is one sure way to consistently replenish your energy, inner peace and joy – which means you’ll have the strength to handle whatever comes your way.

3) Give yourself some leeway.

Did you know that one of the biggest causes of stress is rigid expectations? We all do it from time to time; get a mental picture of how our lives “should be” – and get really annoyed when our outer circumstances don’t cooperate! One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is a flexible state of mind. In other words, learn how to detach from unrealistic expectations and go with the flow.

When you have a flexible mindset, you’re able to deal with problems much more easily because you’re not working against a preconceived notion of how things “should be”. You’re able to tap into your creative problem solving skills and move through challenges without all the drama and frustration. So give yourself some leeway instead stressing over every detail.

A few minor changes in perspective can make a dramatic difference to your sense of well being. Now that you’re feeling more resourceful, you may also want to examine your external circumstances and see if there are some small adjustments you can make to help support your new, more balanced mindset.Did you find these suggestions helpful?Do you have something to add?

I’d love to here what you think!