We all like to think that we have an objective view of the world around us and that our perception is largely undistorted by emotion or personal bias. Oh sure, we recognize that most people’s view of reality is heavily influenced by their personal subjective interpretations, but for some reason we tend to feel confident in our own objectivity.

Why in the world would we think such a thing? Because, even though every one of us is viewing life through our own unique set of emotional filters, we all seem to have one special filter in common. It’s the one that filters out our personal subjectivity and leaves us with the illusion that we are the sole keeper of true objectivity.

Seeing the world through our paradigms

The American Heritage Dictionary defines paradigm as: A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality. So, paradigms are the building blocks of our perception and they change the way we see everything.

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People author Stephen Covey adds the following synonyms for paradigm; model, theory, perception, assumption and frame of reference.  He points out that paradigms affect the way we see the world in terms of perceiving, understanding and interpreting. What does that mean? Simply put, it means that…

There is no true objectivity

Because we are all influenced by our own unique paradigms, every bit of input we receive is subject to personal interpretation.  Thinking that our point of view is objective does not make it so because true objectivity is next to impossible. So, without any conscious awareness of the process, everything we see, hear and experience is automatically altered according to our individual frame of reference.

Essentially, it boils down to our personal version of the truth.  Try as we will to be objective, our personal understanding of the world around us is at best subjective objectivity. (How’s that for an oxymoron?)

We are all individuals with different life experiences, different associations and different perceptions, and these all influence our personal viewpoint.  That is why two people can see or hear the exact same thing and be left with entirely different impressions of what they saw or heard

Creating your very own reality

Instead of trying to prove ourselves objective, what if we embraced the idea that we can, and do, alter our concept of reality to fit our personal paradigms. In other words, to a large degree we all have the ability to customize reality. Why not cultivate this ability so we can exercise even greater control over our perception. Think of the possibilities!

We can choose to focus on the positive side of life which will decrease our exposure to the negative. We can choose to see the good in others instead of putting a magnifying glass on their faults. We can give up on the idea that we are right and someone else is wrong just because they have a different set of filters. In short, we can basically create a better reality for ourselves.

Expanding our paradigm perspectives beyond self

Our quality of life has a lot to do with how well we get along and interact with other people. Developing our relationship skills requires that we make an effort to understand why other people see things differently than we do.

Appreciating their paradigms, even though they might be different from our own, is a giant step toward understanding who they are as a person and why they view life as they do.  Taken one step further, this approach can also help us to expand our perception and appreciation of the world around us.

What’s your paradigm with reference to this post?
Does the idea that you’re not capable of objectivity bother you?
The lines are open!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

I am convinced that billions of people feel trapped in a life full of limits and frustrations because they have never been taught the simple skills that have the power to transform almost every aspect of their current situation.

As a result, a life of personal excellence seems like an impossible dream for most.  We can easily understand why so many people feel that way when we consider the scarcity of living examples.  Most people see very little evidence that a life of extraordinary quality is even possible.

Not all life skills are created equal

Why are there so few examples of people living the life of their dreams? One reason has to do with what people have been taught to expect.  The bar of expectation is often set quite low right from the start. Consider the role education plays in this.  For the most part, the public educational system tends to focus on teaching two types of skills.  They teach Basic Life Skills including such necessary fundamentals as reading, writing and math.  They also teach General Career Oriented Skills including science, history and shop.

These skills provide people with the bare minimum for an “average” life experience.  They are designed to make it possible for you to go to work, pay the bills and go grocery shopping. These are all necessary activities but they rarely provide a deep sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

We only know what we’ve been taught

Consider the following question: Are the majority of people living such a basic existence because that is all they are capable of, or is it because that is all they were taught? If it’s because of what they were never taught, then we need to ask – What do we really need to know in order to live on a higher level physically, emotionally and financially?

We might also ask, what does it take to have truly meaningful relationships with others on a personal, business or casual level? How can you find the deep sense of accomplishment and satisfaction you long for?

What kind of skills are we talking about here?

Based on the limited scope of the so-called basic life skills most of us were given during our growing up experience, the skills needed for a more meaningful and productive life would have to be called Advanced Life Skills.

From my experience, it doesn’t really seem to matter where people are socially, economically or physically.  Most people do not feel truly satisfied with their life.

What good are millions of dollars to a person who longs for a close and meaningful relationship but never finds one? What chance does a highly motivated person have at success if they never develop the ability to set goals and follow through until they get results? How rewarding is a high paying position in a job that you can’t stand?

Why we need Advanced Life Skills

Now ask yourself, how much of what you learned in school helps make your life better on a day-to-day personal level?  Every day we make decisions that affect the quality of our life now and in the future.  Were you ever offered the opportunity to take a class called “how to make wise decisions that lead to a satisfying life?”

Most people want a partner to share their life with.  Was there a course at your school called “how to cultivate a meaningful and satisfying relationship based on love and respect?”

Goals are one of the most powerful tools available for achieving profound results.
Did your school offer a program called “how to use the power of goal setting to produce incredible results in your life?”

Clearly, we need something beyond the basics. We all need to learn and benefit from Advanced Life Skills. Why?  Because each and every one of us deserves to live a life of true happiness and abundance.

How about You?
What kind of life do you want?

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

Through no fault of our own, most of us lack a certain degree of awareness about who we really are. I’m not talking about the person we are on the surface. Rather, I am referring to who we are on a core level once you strip away the social programming, ego, and learned defenses.

Being the adaptable creatures that we are, we learn to play peekaboo with our true self from a very young age. We adapt our behavior for various reasons as we are exposed to a variety of circumstances and situations.

This is good because adaptability is an important and vital life skill. In fact, on many different levels our survival depends on it. Businesses that don’t adapt to changing conditions go broke. The same could be said of relationships. Even the simple act of putting on a coat when the weather turns cold is a form of adaptation. Clearly, being adaptable serves us in many ways.

But here’s the challenge!

As we adapt, we risk losing our connection with who we really are on a core level. It becomes extremely easy to compromise our deepest values and passions for the sake of fitting in. When this happens, we create internal conflict between our true self and our new, adapted self.

We may have every intention of preserving our true identity, but the influence of our environment should not be underestimated. I first learned this lesson when I was only 19 years old. I went to work for a large construction company and everybody on the crew cussed (a lot). I was totally repulsed by their language and vowed that I would never allow myself to sound like them. Profanity violates my personal code of ethics and I was absolutely determined not to go there.

Well, guess what! Within a short time, I started to adapt my language to fit in with this new environment. That’s right, despite my determination to the contrary, I ended up sounding just like everyone else. It pained me to hear myself talk because of the internal conflict that now existed between my values and my actions. On a deep emotional level, I was at cross purposes with my true self.

I got out of there which resolved my conflict

Had I remained, however, I would have probably lost touch with the part of me that was uncomfortable in that situation. The continued influence of that environment would have caused me to bury my values in an attempt to end the discomfort.

In reality though, that would not have resolved my internal conflict. It would have just buried it so deep that I would no longer be aware of it. That means that instead of internal peace and harmony, there would be undetected, but extremely damaging disharmony. Emotionally speaking, this is like having a virus quietly corrupting you computer programs without being noticed. Sooner or later, there will be problems.

Internal conflict always finds its way to the surface

Have you ever known someone who continually self-sabotages their own success? It could be in any area of their life, business, relationships, health or anything else. As soon as things start looking good, wham, they let the air out of their own tires.

Often times this kind of behavior is a response to buried internal conflict. On some level they feel that they don’t deserve success. Their disharmony has negatively affected their self-esteem, and they aren’t even aware of it.

Another way that internal conflict can find expression is a chronic lack of joy. This might range anywhere from being moody to recurring bouts of depression. Energy levels can also be affected. It takes a lot of energy to fight an emotional battle around deeply rooted internal discord.

We’ve all been there to some degree!

Like I said earlier, we are adaptable creatures and that makes it almost impossible to stay true to our authentic self without some kind internal compass. Basic desires such as wanting approval, security and control have a huge influence on our direction in life. And even our core values evolve and change over time.

All of these factors combined make it very difficult to stay in harmony with who we truly are on the deepest levels. So how can we adapt and grow, while simultaneously avoiding the trap of internal conflict?

Self-discovery and awareness are the key

The first step is to rediscover our true self. We need to get in touch with our deepest values, standards and passions. This is the only way to bring about internal peace and harmony. We need to go beyond the trappings of our lifestyle and environment, so we can figure out who we really are.

Any attempt to structure a meaningful life course must include this knowledge of true self. Without it, we will inadvertently compromise the very values that give us our personal identity.

How do we rediscover our true self?

Over the years I have developed a series of extremely effective questions and exercises designed to put you in touch with your true self. I incorporated these exercises into the very first section of my book TRUE SELF. Following the program outlined in this book makes it possible for anyone to discover their true self, and to achieve and maintain internal peace and harmony while pursuing the life of their dreams.

Of course, this is only one aspect of the life transformation process, but it is the only way to build a solid foundation for a life of exceptional quality. If you are curious about what True Self can do for you, I encourage you to read the reviews on Amazon to see what others are saying are about this life changing book.

Getting to the heart of disharmony

Resolving internal conflict is the only way to experience inner peace. Life has a way of disconnecting us from who we truly are, and we feel the effects of this in everything we do. We all buy anti-virus software to protect it integrity of our computers and keep them operating efficiently. Doesn’t it make sense to take the necessary steps to restore our inner harmony so that we can truly enjoy this wonderful journey called life?

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Exactly what do I mean by insanity? I’m referring to the now widely accepted definition of insane; doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.

No doubt, most of us have heard that definition and laughed.  And yet, is it possible that we are actually doing that to some degree ourselves? I recently looked back on a situation in my own life and realized that this was the problem.

But first a little background

When I was a teenager, I developed the habit of working out with weights three or four times a week.  That’s a habit that has stuck with me all these years. Okay, I admit there have been periods of time when I’ve slacked off.  But for the most part I’ve stuck with it.

I’m sure you realize that there are a lot of different approaches to lifting weights, and I’ve tried most of them over the years.  I don’t want to bore you with a lot of details, but without some details the story doesn’t make any sense.  So, I’ll try to keep it as uncluttered as possible.

When something quits working

My standard approach has always been to lift fairly heavy weights in the 7-10 rep range. This approach worked extremely well when I was younger.  But that was then and this is now.

Back in May of 2008 I herniated a disk in my neck.  On its own, a herniated disc is bad enough, but there was a complication.  A main trunk nerve that runs across my upper back and down my left arm was damaged.  Part of the nerve died, and all of the muscles fed by that nerve atrophied.

Now what?

As a result of this injury I lost about 90% of my strength in certain exercises.  Determined not to let this stand in my way, I designed a new approach.  I started to use lighter weights, and much higher rep ranges.  I reasoned that higher repetitions help to build neural pathways, so it seemed like a reasonable approach.

After much trial and error, I discovered that in my new situation the sweet spot was 25 to 30 reps. Using this new approach allowed me to make consistent progress with each and every workout.  Now here’s the surprise!  I actually started to build muscle and burn fat at a rate I hadn’t experienced for over a decade.

Why?  Because I was forced to try something new.  As a result, I began to produce a different outcome. Since then I have continued to change my approach as my condition improved or my body adapted. As a result, I have been able to facilitate a full recovery.

So what’s the moral of the story?

If what you are currently doing isn’t working, try something else.  Don’t be afraid of change.

I made a change because I was forced to.  But as I look back, I realize that it’s a change I should have made long before I did.  What I had always done was not producing the desired result.  So, exactly why did I stay with it?  Obviously, I must have been suffering from a mild case of insanity.

Resisting change is counterproductive

When something isn’t working, there is no need to wait until change is forced upon you.  It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about relationships, business decisions, food choices, or any other dimension of your life. Remember, staying with something that no longer works is a form of  insanity.

When your standard approach quits producing the desired results, try something new.  If that doesn’t work, try something else. Keep making adjustments until you start producing the result you are after.

Keep learning to keep progressing

One of the greatest life skills any of us can learn is to pay close attention to the result we get every time  we change our approach to something. When we find something that works well, keep doing it.  But if it doesn’t work, or it quits working, make adjustments. Life is a learning experience.  True learning requires that we take action according to what we learn.  As we learn from those new actions we can make further adjustments.

It would be nice if we could always get it right the first time, but that’s not reality. Even an ocean liner is slightly off course about 90% of the time. Changing currents and wind direction mean that constant adjustments are necessary to stay on course.

There are a lot of things that can affect the results we produce. Some of them are predictable, others will be a surprise.  But they all have one thing in common.  They all require that we make constant adjustments so that we can stay on course. Every successful person does this.  It’s a simple formula that will allow us to continue producing our desired outcomes while avoiding insanity.

Why not take a careful look at your own life, and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What areas of my life no longer seem to be working?
2. What goals have I been unable to reach?
3. How long has this been going on?
4. What adjustments seem reasonable?
5. What’s preventing me from trying a new approach?
6. What price have I paid for not making adjustments?
7. When am I going to try something new?

Now write down three possible approaches for each area that needs some adjustment.  Choose one approach, and take action.  Notice how things changed.  Were your new results better, the same, or worse?  If they were better, look for ways to fine tune your new approach, and take more action.  If they were the same or worse, try the next approach on your list.

Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to change everything in your life all at once.  Take on one challenge at a time, improve your results, then move to the next challenge.

Improving the quality of your life is not always about making huge changes all at once.  Even small changes, made consistently can transform your life in a very short time.  If you keep moving in the right direction, sooner or later you will wind up exactly where you want to be.  Life is a marvelous journey of learning and growing. Why would we want it any other way?

Have you had a similar experience?
Has changing your approach ever made a big difference?
I would love to hear about your thoughts!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. From discovering and dismantling your limiting beliefs, to aligning with and realizing your most cherished goals – and everything in between. TRUE SELF will guide you through the process.

We have all heard the expression, “hindsight is 20-20,” but is that really the case? Well, it certainly can be, but only if we are paying attention to where we have been and what we have learned.

Experience has the potential to be our very best teacher, and hindsight plays a vital role. Unfortunately, many people go through life just repeating the same old mistakes over and over again. They somehow miss the connection between hindsight and insight.

Granted, we all make mistakes, but there are two important question for each of us to ask ourselves with regard to our mistakes.

1. “Do I really learn from my mistakes?” And, if so, then
2. “Do I make it a point to adjust my life accordingly?”

You see, the truth of the matter is, if we can’t say yes to both of those questions, then the answer to both is really no.

Hindsight lets us reflect and grow wise!

Wisdom and insight come to those who learn from their experiences, adjust their course, and continue in the direction of their goals and aspirations. Experience can teach us so many valuable lessons, but only if we are willing to adjust our lives accordingly.

That’s why it is so important that we continuously measure the results of our actions. If we don’t take the time to analyze our past performance, how can we expect to gain the insight to produce better results? If we don’t have the hindsight to see where we’ve been, how could we possibly have the insight to see where we are going?

Our performance is like a compass that keeps us moving in the direction we want to go. When we get a little off course, things don’t work out so well. If we are paying attention, we will analyze what we just did, and how we might have done it differently. Then we can try something a little different, and compare the results.

Hindsight benefits us in all areas!

You can apply this approach to every area of your life. Yes it works in business, but it also works in relationships of all kinds. If we accidentally do something that offends someone we care about, we need to take note, and try to avoid doing it again.

What this means is that we need to be fully involved in our own life. We need to pay attention, careful attention, to how our thoughts, actions, and words affect the quality of our life. We also need to pay attention to how our actions affect the lives of those around us.

When we contribute to the quality of other people’s lives, we reap personal benefits. The quality of our life is in direct proportion to the quality of our contribution. If we are not giving, then we are not living, we’re just going through the motions and missing the real essence of life.

The only way that hindsight can be 20-20 then, is if we take the time to notice what we did, how it turned out, and whether or not we need to make changes. This is how we develop insight.

Hindsight allows us to learn and adjust

There is a famous saying by George Santayana: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” I think more than remembering is called for.  Insight requires more than just remembering. I would say that those who don’t learn from the past are condemned to repeat it. And while this saying is often applied on a grand scale to nations and governments, I think it has it greatest application for us as individuals.

It’s always amazing to meet somebody that has no clue why their life is the way it is. They go through life doing the same things over and over again, and thinking that one of these days they are bound to produce a better result. Albert Einstein nailed this kind of thinking when he defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” It really boils down to a complete lack of hindsight.

Personal change doesn’t need to be complicated

If we’re not happy with our life, we need to take some time to analyze the actions and decisions that got us where we are. What adjustments could we make to break our current cycle and produce a different result? As you look back on your past thinking and actions, can you identify things that could have been done differently? That’s hindsight.

Could you benefit from sharpening that hindsight a bit? Of course you could, just use what you have learned to help you make a few simple adjustments. You probably don’t need to turn your life upside down. Start out by making small adjustments, and pay careful attention to what happens.

Did things get better, or did they get worse? Either way, you can still use that information to make further adjustments. Before you know it, you will have turned your hindsight into insight.

How important do you think hindsight is?
How have the lessons from your past benefited you?
The lines are open and your thoughts really do matter!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

There’s an old story about a man who walks by a construction site and sees three workers, each pushing a wheelbarrow holding one enormous stone.

Out of curiosity, he asks one of the workers what they are doing. “What does it look like?” he says with a sneer.  ”I’m just hauling rocks.”

Unsatisfied with that answer, the man asks the second worker with a wheelbarrow the same question. Without even bothering to look up, this man says “We’re putting up walls.”

Frustrated, the man tries one last time. “I say there,” he asks the third worker, “can you please tell me what you men are doing here?” Unlike the other two, this man stops, puts down his wheelbarrow, wipes the sweat from his forehead and says with a big smile, “We are building a castle and it’s going to be magnificent .”

Perception makes all the difference

Here are three different men; all doing the same work, but one says he is hauling rocks, one says he is putting up walls, and one says he is building a castle. This story says a lot about the attitude that each of us bring to our lives, or could bring to our lives if we were willing to change our perspective.

For example, I help people create positive change through writing and coaching. One of the reasons I do these things is to meet my financial overhead and to put food on the table. So, viewed strictly from that perspective, you might conclude that I’m just hauling rocks.

At the next level, my objective is to build up my coaching practice, increase the traffic to my blog, and sell more books. The more successfully I  do those things, the more readers and clients I attract. This, in turn, increases the performance of the various aspects of my business. When viewed from this perspective, you could say that I am putting up walls.

But the real motive and objective of my writing and coaching is to help people from all over the world to achieve and maintain a very high level of personal excellence. When I stay focused on that, I feel like I am building a magnificent castle while also meeting my lesser goals at the same time.

Don’t settle for mediocrity

Idealists might say that achieving and maintaining high levels of personal excellence has nothing to do with building a castle. They are mistaken. Oh sure, you can improve yourself, express your opinions, or rally around a cause without a commitment to excellence. But you won’t affect much meaningful change in the world or create a life that’s comparable to a magnificent castle.

That’s because personal excellence is not about showing off or beating the competition. Excellence is about having high standards and a healthy sense of self-esteem.  It’s a personal commitment to become the best you can possibly be. It liberates you from the crowded field of mediocrity allowing you to stand out, rise to the top, and shine!

You simply can’t reach your potential or live your life to the fullest if you spend your days making excuses, living by low standards, and doing just enough to get by. No one ever achieved excellence by exhibiting mediocre behavior or by accepting it from the people they surround themselves with.

Choose excellence and create your magnificent castle

A commitment to personal excellence in every area of your life is a great equalizer. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman, black or white, young or old, handsome or homely, educated or not. If you focus on excellence, and never make an exception, you will rise to the top.

Personal performance excellence creates a sense of freedom, security, and peace of mind. It allows you to inspire and help others, to do and be what you want. It enables you to follow your dreams, to use your life the way you choose, and to live and work on your own terms.

A commitment to excellence gives you dignity and fills you with immense personal satisfaction. That’s why every man and woman has the right, and I believe the responsibility, to pursue excellence and to become the best possible version of themselves.

When my work empowers people, when it gives them direction, comfort, hope or peace of mind, I feel a great sense of satisfaction. It makes me feel like I’m building my castle.

Apply this same line of thinking to everything you do!

Here is a very special opportunity to make some real progress on your own magnificent castle. Grab your Goal Setting Toolkit and let’s make something wonderful happen!

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1. Create a feel good morning. Start the day off spending some time (at least 20 minutes) doing whatever makes you feel good, even if you need to get up a little earlier. Start your day by connecting with yourself.

2. Get enough sleep. Make sure you go to bed early enough to get however much sleep you personally need to wake up feeling rested. You cannot function optimally if you start out tired.

3. Take a wake up shower. I think of it as water therapy. It makes the transition from sleeping to up and going much more enjoyable. Besides, I like to start each days life experience clean and refreshed.

4. Breathe. The very force of life is maintained and fueled by the simple act of breathing. Stop doing it for 5 minutes and nothing else matters. Periodically it is very beneficial to take slow, deep, controlled breaths and fill your lungs with oxygen.

5. Dress to feel confident. Some clothes just make you feel better about yourself. The way we present ourselves sends powerful signals to others, but also to our own nervous system.

6. Preview your day. Take a few minutes to visualize how you want your day to go and what you intend to accomplish. See your day’s life experience unfold in a natural and satisfying way and allow yourself to look forward to it.

7. Don’t over schedule yourself. This helps prevent stress and creates a sense of control. Drop nonessential activities to create a feeling of manageability. Find ways to reduce the feeling of being rushed.

8. Do one thing at a time. Try to lay out your schedule so that you can focus on just on task at a time. Allow sufficient time to make a meaningful dent in each scheduled activity. If you can’t do that then reduce the number of things on your list.

9. Clear your head. During the transition between one activity and the next, take a moment to clear your thoughts. Close one mental file before you open the next. This will help you focus on the task at hand.

10. Get up and move. Find ways to incorporate some walking into your day. Park farther away, use the stairs, or walk to lunch. Do whatever it takes to get some fresh blood flowing through your system.

11. Eat like you care. You wouldn’t put sugar in your gas tank so don’t put garbage in your body. Your energy levels, mental clarity, and your entire life experience require that you eat the right amount of healthy food. Eat as if you care.

12. Limit distractions. Creativity and productivity are focus related. Don’t purposely invite distractions into your productive times. If need be, deal with the distractions first so you can focus on the job at hand.

13. Smile at everyone. When you smile at someone else, most of the time they will smile back. It’s a quick way to communicate friendliness to everyone who makes eye contact with you. You can lift their spirits and feel good doing it.

14. Be polite. When you are courteous, you show honor to others. When people feel honored by you it tends to foster mutual respect. Being polite and friendly will help bring out the best in those around you. It will improve their life experience and yours.

15. Express appreciation. Look for opportunities to legitimately commend others. Say thank you and acknowledge their efforts. The more appreciation you show, the more others will try to do nice things for you.

16. Show empathy. You can do this by validating other people’s feelings instead of telling them they shouldn’t feel a certain way. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and your validation can do wonders for their confidence.

17. Eat slower. Take time to chew and taste your food. This will make the experience more enjoyable and improve your digestion. Eating slower helps you feel satisfied with smaller meals and avoid overeating.

18. Focus on the moment. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, try to be aware of that moment. Spend as much time as you can fully engaged in your own moment to moment life experience. As the saying goes, be here now.

19. Take pride in everything you do. I truly believe that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Nobody benefits from a halfhearted effort. Doing your best will give you a greater sense of accomplishment and self-respect.

20. See the good in others. Everyone has something to contribute, some gift or talent that makes them special.  When we train ourselves to see the good in others it changes our life experience and our world suddenly fills with possibilities.

21. Cultivate patience. This can be challenging when you are in a hurry but it also brings a more relaxed feel to your life. Lack of patience can foster rude behavior and a negative life experience. Allowing extra time makes it easier to be patient.

22. Always be honest. Speak the truth tactfully. It is better to side step an issue then to needlessly hurt people’s feelings. But lying is never a good idea. Don’t excuse lying by breaking it up into degrees; a little lie is still a lie.

23. Laugh often. Laughter is powerful. It makes you feel good and it is contagious. People have healed their health and their broken lives with laughter. There is too much sadness it the world and laughter is a good antidote.

24. Be grateful. Before you go to bed, review your day and count your blessings. We all have much to be grateful for, we should take some time to feel grateful every single day. The closer you look, the more reasons you will find for gratitude.

25. Greet others. If someone looks at you, say hello. Extend a warm greeting to strangers and watch what happens. Even grumpy faces will often light up with a smile and a simple greeting. Help others enjoy their life experience.

26. Get regular exercise. Set aside time for regular exercise. Workout, play racket ball or tennis, run or speed walk, go dancing, hiking, or whatever you like to do. Just make sure you do it at least three times a week for no less than 30 minutes.

27. Learn new things. Our minds are built for learning and that’s good because there is a lot we don’t know. Learning is a way to keep life interesting and exciting. The ability to learn is a gift that we should always appreciate and use.

28. Share what you have. We all have something to share; time, money, talent, joy, knowledge, friendship, whatever. Sharing sends a message of abundance to our subconscious and adds the joy of giving to our life experience.

29. Enjoy some daily quiet time. There is a lot of noise and activity that fills our days and we need to balance that with some quiet time. It is important to reflect and get centered. I like to do this in the morning so it doesn’t get missed.

30. Continue to grow as a person. Keep working to raise your awareness and further your personal development. This adds increased dimension and depth to our life experience. Life is a process of growth, embrace it.

Have something to add to the list?
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Most people have areas in their lives where they would like to make some improvements.  Is that true of you?  Would you like to be in better shape physically, emotionally, mentally or financially?

That’s a lot of territory, I know.  Perhaps you would like to make some positive changes in all those areas.  Well, you are certainly not alone.  I think all of us feel we have room for improvement in all those areas of life, I certainly do.

So what’s the problem?

If we see things in our life that we want to change, then what is it that is holding us back from doing it?  Why don’t we just make the desired changes?  Questions like that can sure give birth to a huge list of excuses, can’t they?

If someone says to us, why haven’t you lost the weight, or read those books, or made more money, or learned to control your temper?  We can easily defend ourselves with a long list of reasons that sound perfectly logical.  But why do we feel the need to make excuses for our behavior?

Because we like to justify ourselves!

It’s not something we do just for the benefit of others.  We like to justify ourselves to ourselves, so we can feel comfortable about who we are and why we act the way we do.

Making changes comes with a whole assortment of emotional issues that most of us would rather not deal with.  It means that we would have to disrupt our routine. It also means that some sort of effort will probably be required.  If we already have too much to do, and more than enough to think about, the last thing we want is to have one more demand put on us.

Can you relate to feeling that way?

Feeling overwhelmed means that we want to dial things down and restore some balance. The one thing we don’t want to do is to take on another project. And yet…

We still feel that inner desire to make improvements.  We know that life could be better on so many levels, and that is what we truly want.  So where does that leave us? Well, it leaves us wanting to change, and holding ourselves back at the same time.  This dilemma actually adds to our discomfort because it creates internal conflict and disharmony.

Let’s look at three things that can stop us from making changes in our life, and then we will consider three ways to deal with the situation.

1) Complacency.  The truth is that complacency has many faces and all of them create barriers to progress.  Whether it’s laziness, lack of interest, lack of motivation, inability to stick with it, procrastination, or indecision, they all add up to the same thing.  Nothing changes because in our mind, the changes we desire are not yet important enough to move us to action.

The other possibility is that, we may be waiting for some kind of miracle.  Perhaps thinking that our lives will change when we win the lottery, or when someone comes along and does all the work for us.  If this describes you, please read the following article: Don’t Count On Your Fairy Godmother

2) Fear.  Fear also has many faces.  It could be fear of failure, fear of change, fear of commitment, or even fear of success.  Fear is the most powerful reason there is to move away from something.  When we harbor fear, we will do almost anything to avoid the situation associated with that fear.  It really doesn’t matter what kind of fear it is, if we have linked taking action to fear, and inaction to security and comfort, we will not act.

The power of fear increases with proximity.  For example, with fear of success, the closer we get to actually succeeding the more fear influences our decisions and actions.  All limiting beliefs are based on fear in one form or another.  For a more in depth look at limiting beliefs I encourage you to read this: Self Sabotage

3) Confusion.  In this age of information overload confusion is an ever increasing problem.  Too much information is just as paralyzing as a lack of information.  If you want to lose some weight for example, what do you do?

You will probably start by checking out all the various weight loss programs.  And what will you find?  You will find that there are too many experts, with too many ideas, and they all sound very convincing.  The trouble is they have so many conflicting opinions that you can’t figure out who to listen to or who to trust.  The more you check into it, the worse it gets.  Information overload can put you in a holding pattern even when you are feeling motivated and fearless.

It’s a modern day paradox.  We have almost unlimited access to information on any topic, but sorting through it all can leave us more confused and frustrated than we were before we started.

Now the question is what to do about it?

If we are stuck in the dilemma of wanting to make changes and feeling unable to do so, there are really only three alternatives.  Let’s consider them one at a time.

1) No action. The first way of dealing with this dilemma is to do nothing at all, and just live with the situation and the associated frustration.  This is the choice most people make.  Life seems overwhelming enough, and the thought of adding to it is just not acceptable.  Many who find themselves in this category will simply make themselves a strong drink at the end of the day, turn on the TV, and attempt to take a nightly vacation from life.  Even though many have chosen this approach, I think there are much better options.

2) Roll back. The second way of dealing with the situation is to simply abandon your desire for more, and just settle.  For most people who make this choice the internal dialog might be, “this is my life and there’s nothing I can do about it.”  Some would call this giving up, I call it acceptance.

There is nothing wrong with acceptance. In fact it can put you in a very powerful place.  It eliminates the desire for more, and finds pleasure in the present reality.  If you can let go of wanting to be more than you currently are, and find inner harmony in doing so, then this is the way to go.

In fact, combining acceptance with simplifying your life even further, is an extremely effective course. It can quickly make your life feel much less stressful, and much more rewarding at the same time.  There is a lot of wisdom in the old adage, less is more.

3) Go for it. The third way applies to those who are compelled to become the best they can possibly be in every area of life, and nothing else will do.  For those of us who feel this way, and I include myself in this group, we need a two sided approach to help us avoid getting stuck in a perpetual holding pattern.

We need to simplify our lives and let go of nonessential activities, so that we can create room for personal development pursuits.  Adding to an overcrowded schedule will not work and you probably already know that from experience.  Even the so called overachievers have limits that must be acknowledged.

So the first step is to figure out what to let go of.  Don’t say you can’t let go of anything.  If you want to ramp up the quality of your life you need to clear some room in your schedule, preferably an hour or two per day.

Next, you need to adopt a no-nonsense, step-by-step plan for making the changes you want to make.  Whatever it is that you want to accomplish, pick one approach and stick to it.  I don’t care if there are 10 choices that all sound really good, pick one and only one, and stick to it. Here’s a little inspiration to help you get started: 8 Steps for Acting on Inspiration

Don’t expect overnight miracles.  Whatever the nature of your pursuit, give it 30 days of consistent effort before you deviate from your chosen approach.  If you’ve chosen wisely, your approach will eventually produce results, but you need to give it time.

Now make a choice!

OK, now it’s time for you to figure out what it is that’s holding you back and what you plan to do about it.  Let me know what you think and what course of action you have decided on. The lines are open!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.