Exactly what do I mean by insanity? I’m referring to the now widely accepted definition of insane; doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.

No doubt, most of us have heard that definition and laughed.  And yet, is it possible that we are actually doing that to some degree ourselves? I recently looked back on a situation in my own life and realized that this was the problem.

But first a little background

When I was a teenager, I developed the habit of working out with weights three or four times a week.  That’s a habit that has stuck with me all these years. Okay, I admit there have been periods of time when I’ve slacked off.  But for the most part I’ve stuck with it.

I’m sure you realize that there are a lot of different approaches to lifting weights, and I’ve tried most of them over the years.  I don’t want to bore you with a lot of details, but without some details the story doesn’t make any sense.  So, I’ll try to keep it as uncluttered as possible.

When something quits working

My standard approach has always been to lift fairly heavy weights in the 7-10 rep range. This approach worked extremely well when I was younger.  But that was then and this is now.

Back in May of 2008 I herniated a disk in my neck.  On its own, a herniated disc is bad enough, but there was a complication.  A main trunk nerve that runs across my upper back and down my left arm was damaged.  Part of the nerve died, and all of the muscles fed by that nerve atrophied.

Now what?

As a result of this injury I lost about 90% of my strength in certain exercises.  Determined not to let this stand in my way, I designed a new approach.  I started to use lighter weights, and much higher rep ranges.  I reasoned that higher repetitions help to build neural pathways, so it seemed like a reasonable approach.

After much trial and error, I discovered that in my new situation the sweet spot was 25 to 30 reps. Using this new approach allowed me to make consistent progress with each and every workout.  Now here’s the surprise!  I actually started to build muscle and burn fat at a rate I hadn’t experienced for over a decade.

Why?  Because I was forced to try something new.  As a result, I began to produce a different outcome. Since then I have continued to change my approach as my condition improved or my body adapted. As a result, I have been able to facilitate a full recovery.

So what’s the moral of the story?

If what you are currently doing isn’t working, try something else.  Don’t be afraid of change.

I made a change because I was forced to.  But as I look back, I realize that it’s a change I should have made long before I did.  What I had always done was not producing the desired result.  So, exactly why did I stay with it?  Obviously, I must have been suffering from a mild case of insanity.

Resisting change is counterproductive

When something isn’t working, there is no need to wait until change is forced upon you.  It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about relationships, business decisions, food choices, or any other dimension of your life. Remember, staying with something that no longer works is a form of  insanity.

When your standard approach quits producing the desired results, try something new.  If that doesn’t work, try something else. Keep making adjustments until you start producing the result you are after.

Keep learning to keep progressing

One of the greatest life skills any of us can learn is to pay close attention to the result we get every time  we change our approach to something. When we find something that works well, keep doing it.  But if it doesn’t work, or it quits working, make adjustments. Life is a learning experience.  True learning requires that we take action according to what we learn.  As we learn from those new actions we can make further adjustments.

It would be nice if we could always get it right the first time, but that’s not reality. Even an ocean liner is slightly off course about 90% of the time. Changing currents and wind direction mean that constant adjustments are necessary to stay on course.

There are a lot of things that can affect the results we produce. Some of them are predictable, others will be a surprise.  But they all have one thing in common.  They all require that we make constant adjustments so that we can stay on course. Every successful person does this.  It’s a simple formula that will allow us to continue producing our desired outcomes while avoiding insanity.

Why not take a careful look at your own life, and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What areas of my life no longer seem to be working?
2. What goals have I been unable to reach?
3. How long has this been going on?
4. What adjustments seem reasonable?
5. What’s preventing me from trying a new approach?
6. What price have I paid for not making adjustments?
7. When am I going to try something new?

Now write down three possible approaches for each area that needs some adjustment.  Choose one approach, and take action.  Notice how things changed.  Were your new results better, the same, or worse?  If they were better, look for ways to fine tune your new approach, and take more action.  If they were the same or worse, try the next approach on your list.

Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to change everything in your life all at once.  Take on one challenge at a time, improve your results, then move to the next challenge.

Improving the quality of your life is not always about making huge changes all at once.  Even small changes, made consistently can transform your life in a very short time.  If you keep moving in the right direction, sooner or later you will wind up exactly where you want to be.  Life is a marvelous journey of learning and growing. Why would we want it any other way?

Have you had a similar experience?
Has changing your approach ever made a big difference?
I would love to hear about your thoughts!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. From discovering and dismantling your limiting beliefs, to aligning with and realizing your most cherished goals – and everything in between. TRUE SELF will guide you through the process.

We have all heard the expression, “hindsight is 20-20,” but is that really the case? Well, it certainly can be, but only if we are paying attention to where we have been and what we have learned.

Experience has the potential to be our very best teacher, and hindsight plays a vital role. Unfortunately, many people go through life just repeating the same old mistakes over and over again. They somehow miss the connection between hindsight and insight.

Granted, we all make mistakes, but there are two important question for each of us to ask ourselves with regard to our mistakes.

1. “Do I really learn from my mistakes?” And, if so, then
2. “Do I make it a point to adjust my life accordingly?”

You see, the truth of the matter is, if we can’t say yes to both of those questions, then the answer to both is really no.

Hindsight lets us reflect and grow wise!

Wisdom and insight come to those who learn from their experiences, adjust their course, and continue in the direction of their goals and aspirations. Experience can teach us so many valuable lessons, but only if we are willing to adjust our lives accordingly.

That’s why it is so important that we continuously measure the results of our actions. If we don’t take the time to analyze our past performance, how can we expect to gain the insight to produce better results? If we don’t have the hindsight to see where we’ve been, how could we possibly have the insight to see where we are going?

Our performance is like a compass that keeps us moving in the direction we want to go. When we get a little off course, things don’t work out so well. If we are paying attention, we will analyze what we just did, and how we might have done it differently. Then we can try something a little different, and compare the results.

Hindsight benefits us in all areas!

You can apply this approach to every area of your life. Yes it works in business, but it also works in relationships of all kinds. If we accidentally do something that offends someone we care about, we need to take note, and try to avoid doing it again.

What this means is that we need to be fully involved in our own life. We need to pay attention, careful attention, to how our thoughts, actions, and words affect the quality of our life. We also need to pay attention to how our actions affect the lives of those around us.

When we contribute to the quality of other people’s lives, we reap personal benefits. The quality of our life is in direct proportion to the quality of our contribution. If we are not giving, then we are not living, we’re just going through the motions and missing the real essence of life.

The only way that hindsight can be 20-20 then, is if we take the time to notice what we did, how it turned out, and whether or not we need to make changes. This is how we develop insight.

Hindsight allows us to learn and adjust

There is a famous saying by George Santayana: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” I think more than remembering is called for.  Insight requires more than just remembering. I would say that those who don’t learn from the past are condemned to repeat it. And while this saying is often applied on a grand scale to nations and governments, I think it has it greatest application for us as individuals.

It’s always amazing to meet somebody that has no clue why their life is the way it is. They go through life doing the same things over and over again, and thinking that one of these days they are bound to produce a better result. Albert Einstein nailed this kind of thinking when he defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” It really boils down to a complete lack of hindsight.

Personal change doesn’t need to be complicated

If we’re not happy with our life, we need to take some time to analyze the actions and decisions that got us where we are. What adjustments could we make to break our current cycle and produce a different result? As you look back on your past thinking and actions, can you identify things that could have been done differently? That’s hindsight.

Could you benefit from sharpening that hindsight a bit? Of course you could, just use what you have learned to help you make a few simple adjustments. You probably don’t need to turn your life upside down. Start out by making small adjustments, and pay careful attention to what happens.

Did things get better, or did they get worse? Either way, you can still use that information to make further adjustments. Before you know it, you will have turned your hindsight into insight.

How important do you think hindsight is?
How have the lessons from your past benefited you?
The lines are open and your thoughts really do matter!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

There’s an old story about a man who walks by a construction site and sees three workers, each pushing a wheelbarrow holding one enormous stone.

Out of curiosity, he asks one of the workers what they are doing. “What does it look like?” he says with a sneer.  ”I’m just hauling rocks.”

Unsatisfied with that answer, the man asks the second worker with a wheelbarrow the same question. Without even bothering to look up, this man says “We’re putting up walls.”

Frustrated, the man tries one last time. “I say there,” he asks the third worker, “can you please tell me what you men are doing here?” Unlike the other two, this man stops, puts down his wheelbarrow, wipes the sweat from his forehead and says with a big smile, “We are building a castle and it’s going to be magnificent .”

Perception makes all the difference

Here are three different men; all doing the same work, but one says he is hauling rocks, one says he is putting up walls, and one says he is building a castle. This story says a lot about the attitude that each of us bring to our lives, or could bring to our lives if we were willing to change our perspective.

For example, I help people create positive change through writing and coaching. One of the reasons I do these things is to meet my financial overhead and to put food on the table. So, viewed strictly from that perspective, you might conclude that I’m just hauling rocks.

At the next level, my objective is to build up my coaching practice, increase the traffic to my blog, and sell more books. The more successfully I  do those things, the more readers and clients I attract. This, in turn, increases the performance of the various aspects of my business. When viewed from this perspective, you could say that I am putting up walls.

But the real motive and objective of my writing and coaching is to help people from all over the world to achieve and maintain a very high level of personal excellence. When I stay focused on that, I feel like I am building a magnificent castle while also meeting my lesser goals at the same time.

Don’t settle for mediocrity

Idealists might say that achieving and maintaining high levels of personal excellence has nothing to do with building a castle. They are mistaken. Oh sure, you can improve yourself, express your opinions, or rally around a cause without a commitment to excellence. But you won’t affect much meaningful change in the world or create a life that’s comparable to a magnificent castle.

That’s because personal excellence is not about showing off or beating the competition. Excellence is about having high standards and a healthy sense of self-esteem.  It’s a personal commitment to become the best you can possibly be. It liberates you from the crowded field of mediocrity allowing you to stand out, rise to the top, and shine!

You simply can’t reach your potential or live your life to the fullest if you spend your days making excuses, living by low standards, and doing just enough to get by. No one ever achieved excellence by exhibiting mediocre behavior or by accepting it from the people they surround themselves with.

Choose excellence and create your magnificent castle

A commitment to personal excellence in every area of your life is a great equalizer. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman, black or white, young or old, handsome or homely, educated or not. If you focus on excellence, and never make an exception, you will rise to the top.

Personal performance excellence creates a sense of freedom, security, and peace of mind. It allows you to inspire and help others, to do and be what you want. It enables you to follow your dreams, to use your life the way you choose, and to live and work on your own terms.

A commitment to excellence gives you dignity and fills you with immense personal satisfaction. That’s why every man and woman has the right, and I believe the responsibility, to pursue excellence and to become the best possible version of themselves.

When my work empowers people, when it gives them direction, comfort, hope or peace of mind, I feel a great sense of satisfaction. It makes me feel like I’m building my castle.

Apply this same line of thinking to everything you do!

Here is a very special opportunity to make some real progress on you own magnificent castle. Grab your Goal Setting Toolkit and let’s make something wonderful happen!

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1. Create a feel good morning. Start the day off spending some time (at least 20 minutes) doing whatever makes you feel good, even if you need to get up a little earlier. Start your day by connecting with yourself.

2. Get enough sleep. Make sure you go to bed early enough to get however much sleep you personally need to wake up feeling rested. You cannot function optimally if you start out tired.

3. Take a wake up shower. I think of it as water therapy. It makes the transition from sleeping to up and going much more enjoyable. Besides, I like to start each days life experience clean and refreshed.

4. Breathe. The very force of life is maintained and fueled by the simple act of breathing. Stop doing it for 5 minutes and nothing else matters. Periodically it is very beneficial to take slow, deep, controlled breaths and fill your lungs with oxygen.

5. Dress to feel confident. Some clothes just make you feel better about yourself. The way we present ourselves sends powerful signals to others, but also to our own nervous system.

6. Preview your day. Take a few minutes to visualize how you want your day to go and what you intend to accomplish. See your day’s life experience unfold in a natural and satisfying way and allow yourself to look forward to it.

7. Don’t over schedule yourself. This helps prevent stress and creates a sense of control. Drop nonessential activities to create a feeling of manageability. Find ways to reduce the feeling of being rushed.

8. Do one thing at a time. Try to lay out your schedule so that you can focus on just on task at a time. Allow sufficient time to make a meaningful dent in each scheduled activity. If you can’t do that then reduce the number of things on your list.

9. Clear your head. During the transition between one activity and the next, take a moment to clear your thoughts. Close one mental file before you open the next. This will help you focus on the task at hand.

10. Get up and move. Find ways to incorporate some walking into your day. Park farther away, use the stairs, or walk to lunch. Do whatever it takes to get some fresh blood flowing through your system.

11. Eat like you care. You wouldn’t put sugar in your gas tank so don’t put garbage in your body. Your energy levels, mental clarity, and your entire life experience require that you eat the right amount of healthy food. Eat as if you care.

12. Limit distractions. Creativity and productivity are focus related. Don’t purposely invite distractions into your productive times. If need be, deal with the distractions first so you can focus on the job at hand.

13. Smile at everyone. When you smile at someone else, most of the time they will smile back. It’s a quick way to communicate friendliness to everyone who makes eye contact with you. You can lift their spirits and feel good doing it.

14. Be polite. When you are courteous, you show honor to others. When people feel honored by you it tends to foster mutual respect. Being polite and friendly will help bring out the best in those around you. It will improve their life experience and yours.

15. Express appreciation. Look for opportunities to legitimately commend others. Say thank you and acknowledge their efforts. The more appreciation you show, the more others will try to do nice things for you.

16. Show empathy. You can do this by validating other people’s feelings instead of telling them they shouldn’t feel a certain way. Everyone is entitled to their feelings and your validation can do wonders for their confidence.

17. Eat slower. Take time to chew and taste your food. This will make the experience more enjoyable and improve your digestion. Eating slower helps you feel satisfied with smaller meals and avoid overeating.

18. Focus on the moment. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, try to be aware of that moment. Spend as much time as you can fully engaged in your own moment to moment life experience. As the saying goes, be here now.

19. Take pride in everything you do. I truly believe that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Nobody benefits from a halfhearted effort. Doing your best will give you a greater sense of accomplishment and self-respect.

20. See the good in others. Everyone has something to contribute, some gift or talent that makes them special.  When we train ourselves to see the good in others it changes our life experience and our world suddenly fills with possibilities.

21. Cultivate patience. This can be challenging when you are in a hurry but it also brings a more relaxed feel to your life. Lack of patience can foster rude behavior and a negative life experience. Allowing extra time makes it easier to be patient.

22. Always be honest. Speak the truth tactfully. It is better to side step an issue then to needlessly hurt people’s feelings. But lying is never a good idea. Don’t excuse lying by breaking it up into degrees; a little lie is still a lie.

23. Laugh often. Laughter is powerful. It makes you feel good and it is contagious. People have healed their health and their broken lives with laughter. There is too much sadness it the world and laughter is a good antidote.

24. Be grateful. Before you go to bed, review your day and count your blessings. We all have much to be grateful for, we should take some time to feel grateful every single day. The closer you look, the more reasons you will find for gratitude.

25. Greet others. If someone looks at you, say hello. Extend a warm greeting to strangers and watch what happens. Even grumpy faces will often light up with a smile and a simple greeting. Help others enjoy their life experience.

26. Get regular exercise. Set aside time for regular exercise. Workout, play racket ball or tennis, run or speed walk, go dancing, hiking, or whatever you like to do. Just make sure you do it at least three times a week for no less than 30 minutes.

27. Learn new things. Our minds are built for learning and that’s good because there is a lot we don’t know. Learning is a way to keep life interesting and exciting. The ability to learn is a gift that we should always appreciate and use.

28. Share what you have. We all have something to share; time, money, talent, joy, knowledge, friendship, whatever. Sharing sends a message of abundance to our subconscious and adds the joy of giving to our life experience.

29. Enjoy some daily quiet time. There is a lot of noise and activity that fills our days and we need to balance that with some quiet time. It is important to reflect and get centered. I like to do this in the morning so it doesn’t get missed.

30. Continue to grow as a person. Keep working to raise your awareness and further your personal development. This adds increased dimension and depth to our life experience. Life is a process of growth, embrace it.

Have something to add to the list?
Jump on in and share it with us!

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Most people have areas in their lives where they would like to make some improvements.  Is that true of you?  Would you like to be in better shape physically, emotionally, mentally or financially?

That’s a lot of territory, I know.  Perhaps you would like to make some positive changes in all those areas.  Well, you are certainly not alone.  I think all of us feel we have room for improvement in all those areas of life, I certainly do.

So what’s the problem?

If we see things in our life that we want to change, then what is it that is holding us back from doing it?  Why don’t we just make the desired changes?  Questions like that can sure give birth to a huge list of excuses, can’t they?

If someone says to us, why haven’t you lost the weight, or read those books, or made more money, or learned to control your temper?  We can easily defend ourselves with a long list of reasons that sound perfectly logical.  But why do we feel the need to make excuses for our behavior?

Because we like to justify ourselves!

It’s not something we do just for the benefit of others.  We like to justify ourselves to ourselves, so we can feel comfortable about who we are and why we act the way we do.

Making changes comes with a whole assortment of emotional issues that most of us would rather not deal with.  It means that we would have to disrupt our routine. It also means that some sort of effort will probably be required.  If we already have too much to do, and more than enough to think about, the last thing we want is to have one more demand put on us.

Can you relate to feeling that way?

Feeling overwhelmed means that we want to dial things down and restore some balance. The one thing we don’t want to do is to take on another project. And yet…

We still feel that inner desire to make improvements.  We know that life could be better on so many levels, and that is what we truly want.  So where does that leave us? Well, it leaves us wanting to change, and holding ourselves back at the same time.  This dilemma actually adds to our discomfort because it creates internal conflict and disharmony.

Let’s look at three things that can stop us from making changes in our life, and then we will consider three ways to deal with the situation.

1) Complacency.  The truth is that complacency has many faces and all of them create barriers to progress.  Whether it’s laziness, lack of interest, lack of motivation, inability to stick with it, procrastination, or indecision, they all add up to the same thing.  Nothing changes because in our mind, the changes we desire are not yet important enough to move us to action.

The other possibility is that, we may be waiting for some kind of miracle.  Perhaps thinking that our lives will change when we win the lottery, or when someone comes along and does all the work for us.  If this describes you, please read the following article: Don’t Count On Your Fairy Godmother

2) Fear.  Fear also has many faces.  It could be fear of failure, fear of change, fear of commitment, or even fear of success.  Fear is the most powerful reason there is to move away from something.  When we harbor fear, we will do almost anything to avoid the situation associated with that fear.  It really doesn’t matter what kind of fear it is, if we have linked taking action to fear, and inaction to security and comfort, we will not act.

The power of fear increases with proximity.  For example, with fear of success, the closer we get to actually succeeding the more fear influences our decisions and actions.  All limiting beliefs are based on fear in one form or another.  For a more in depth look at limiting beliefs I encourage you to read this: Self Sabotage

3) Confusion.  In this age of information overload confusion is an ever increasing problem.  Too much information is just as paralyzing as a lack of information.  If you want to lose some weight for example, what do you do?

You will probably start by checking out all the various weight loss programs.  And what will you find?  You will find that there are too many experts, with too many ideas, and they all sound very convincing.  The trouble is they have so many conflicting opinions that you can’t figure out who to listen to or who to trust.  The more you check into it, the worse it gets.  Information overload can put you in a holding pattern even when you are feeling motivated and fearless.

It’s a modern day paradox.  We have almost unlimited access to information on any topic, but sorting through it all can leave us more confused and frustrated than we were before we started.

Now the question is what to do about it?

If we are stuck in the dilemma of wanting to make changes and feeling unable to do so, there are really only three alternatives.  Let’s consider them one at a time.

1) No action. The first way of dealing with this dilemma is to do nothing at all, and just live with the situation and the associated frustration.  This is the choice most people make.  Life seems overwhelming enough, and the thought of adding to it is just not acceptable.  Many who find themselves in this category will simply make themselves a strong drink at the end of the day, turn on the TV, and attempt to take a nightly vacation from life.  Even though many have chosen this approach, I think there are much better options.

2) Roll back. The second way of dealing with the situation is to simply abandon your desire for more, and just settle.  For most people who make this choice the internal dialog might be, “this is my life and there’s nothing I can do about it.”  Some would call this giving up, I call it acceptance.

There is nothing wrong with acceptance. In fact it can put you in a very powerful place.  It eliminates the desire for more, and finds pleasure in the present reality.  If you can let go of wanting to be more than you currently are, and find inner harmony in doing so, then this is the way to go.

In fact, combining acceptance with simplifying your life even further, is an extremely effective course. It can quickly make your life feel much less stressful, and much more rewarding at the same time.  There is a lot of wisdom in the old adage, less is more.

3) Go for it. The third way applies to those who are compelled to become the best they can possibly be in every area of life, and nothing else will do.  For those of us who feel this way, and I include myself in this group, we need a two sided approach to help us avoid getting stuck in a perpetual holding pattern.

We need to simplify our lives and let go of nonessential activities, so that we can create room for personal development pursuits.  Adding to an overcrowded schedule will not work and you probably already know that from experience.  Even the so called overachievers have limits that must be acknowledged.

So the first step is to figure out what to let go of.  Don’t say you can’t let go of anything.  If you want to ramp up the quality of your life you need to clear some room in your schedule, preferably an hour or two per day.

Next, you need to adopt a no-nonsense, step-by-step plan for making the changes you want to make.  Whatever it is that you want to accomplish, pick one approach and stick to it.  I don’t care if there are 10 choices that all sound really good, pick one and only one, and stick to it. Here’s a little inspiration to help you get started: 8 Steps for Acting on Inspiration

Don’t expect overnight miracles.  Whatever the nature of your pursuit, give it 30 days of consistent effort before you deviate from your chosen approach.  If you’ve chosen wisely, your approach will eventually produce results, but you need to give it time.

Now make a choice!

OK, now it’s time for you to figure out what it is that’s holding you back and what you plan to do about it.  Let me know what you think and what course of action you have decided on. The lines are open!

If you enjoyed this article, consider email or RSS updates!

My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core passions, dismantle your hidden, limiting beliefs, and realize your most desired goals? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

How many barriers are there to personal growth? Which ones have the greatest effect on your ability to create positive change in your life? Once you become aware of your personal roadblocks, you’ll be in an excellent position to overcome them. Let’s look at some possible contenders.

1. Loosely defined goals. Setting goals is such a fundamental part of achievement. Sounds basic, I know, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that everyone already knows what they want. I’ve found over and over again that vague, undefined goals are the norm rather than the exception. There are several factors that can keep you from defining exactly what you want. But regardless of the exact reason, if we can’t accurately define our goals, what chance do we have of actually achieving them?

People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.
~Earl Nightingale

A high degree of focus is required to create a new desired outcome. If all we have is a vague idea of what we want, then what is there to focus on? Lack of focus is a common roadblock to personal development and it leaves a person feeling like their efforts never produce the results they were hoping for. If you are going to set goals, make sure you take the time define them so you have something to focus on.

2. Current status unknown. Once you know where you want to go, it is vital that you accurately and honestly assess exactly where you are right now. If you don’t know where you are in relation to where you want to be, how will you be able to gauge your progress? Without honest self evaluation you will be like a ship without a rudder, adrift in an ocean of busy work or procrastination. You’ll be doing a lot, but accomplishing very little. You can avoid this roadblock to personal development by taking inventory of your current situation to get an accurate picture of where you are.

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
~Lewis Carroll

3. Focusing on what you don’t want. In an effort to avoid problems we can easily end up putting our focus on the outcomes we want to avoid. Because the mind is only creative, it will always try to attract or create the object of our focus. This is true even when it is something we are trying to avoid. Can you see why it is so important to focus on what you want, and take your mind off of what you don’t want?

Success is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve. ~Wilfred Peterson

Obviously, we need to be aware of possible pitfalls and steer clear of them, but our primary focus needs to be in the direction we want to go. This sounds easy, but the fear of failing or of making a costly mistake can act like a powerful emotional magnet that captures our attention in subtle ways. Learning to master your focus is the best way to avoid creating what you don’t want.

4. Internal conflict. Of all the roadblocks to personal development, this is the one that can sabotage your effort without you even knowing what happened. If we haven’t taken the time to discover our deepest personal standards and values then we are vulnerable to this kind of inner disharmony. To create internal harmony we must live and act in harmony with our core values, but we can’t do that if we don’t know what those values are. In my coaching practice this is an area that I pay careful attention to, especially if there seems to be some self sabotaging tendencies.

The greatest conflicts are not between two people but between one person and himself. ~Garth Brooks

The best way to avoid this roadblock is to analyze you deepest core values and make sure that everything you do is in harmony with them. In my book TRUE SELF there are several exercises that walk you through the process of creating internal harmony.

5. Limiting or obsolete beliefs. In particular, I am referring to your beliefs about what you think you are or are not capable of, and what you think you do or do not deserve. It is through the window of these beliefs that we form our self image and try to make sense out of the things going on around us. We also use them to form assumptions about likely future results. These beliefs may have been established during childhood and have now outlived their usefulness. Others may be leftover from situations and circumstances that are no longer relevant.

It is important that we evaluate our beliefs regularly to see if they are serving us or holding us back. There are two formidable problems with limiting beliefs. First of all, these beliefs often operate on a subconscious level, screened of from our conscious awareness. Second, even if we are aware of them, changing beliefs can be very challenging because they usually have a strong emotional component making them almost impervious to logic.

You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it. ~Dr. Robert Anthony

Overcoming this roadblock is one of the main reasons clients come to me for coaching. If you have this challenge and can’t seem to get past it, have a look at this five part series called How Your Beliefs Create Your Reality. If you still can’t get past it you might consider getting some assistance from someone who has the skills to help you.

6. Delegating personal responsibility. The quality of our life is our personal responsibility. This is the foundation of all personal development. We can either accept conditions as they are, or accept the responsibility for changing them. Whatever we choose to do, we must acknowledge that we are the only person responsible for our decisions and actions. Taking personal responsibility is one of the most liberating things you can do because it completely eliminates the temptation to blame anyone or anything and it puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.

Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

7. Resistance to change. One of the best ways to beat this resistance is to practice letting go. When we successfully break our emotional attachments to “what is,” we allow room for growth. To do this we need to develop strategies for severing those attachments, because letting go is easier said than done. On an emotional level, there is a sense of security related to “hanging on.” Consequently, learning to let go can be challenging.

Embrace change for it is the essence of life. ~Jonathan Wells

As you embrace small changes in your life, your emotional security anchors will shift. Over time your resistance will fade and you will find comfort and security in a more fluid reality. When this happens, continued personal growth becomes your new security anchor.

What roadblocks have you encountered on the personal growth path?
How have you managed to overcome your personal roadblocks?
The lines are open!

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I have just returned from a memorial service for a dear friend who passed away just before the weekend. Have you ever noticed how much the death of someone close gets you thinking about your own life? I think it’s good to reflect on how our own life is going, and consider where we are, and where we are headed.

As I looked around the room at all the people who came to honor this amazing lady, I thought about how she added value to the lives of so many. There was about a hundred people there, and she had touched the heart of each of them in some way. Isn’t that a wonderful testimony to a life lived well?

Don’t we all want to be remembered like that?

I actually found myself asking: “If my life ended right now, how would I be remembered?” What would people say about my personality, my work, or my contribution? Would they feel better for having knowing me? Would the conversation bring a smile to their faces?

Does that seem like a weird thing to think about? I believe that this kind of thinking has value, and here’s why.

If you don’t like the answers, you can still change them!

You see, once we are gone it is too late to do anything about how we will be remembered. But we’re not gone, and we can still choose what kind of lasting impression we make on the people in our life.

Never, ever, feel helpless when it comes to changing the way others perceive you, or your perception of yourself. You can become whoever you want to become, once you make a decision to change. We all have huge amounts of untapped potential just waiting to be released.

Most of our limits exist only in our head

My friend Jeff Nickles recently wrote an article called: Unleashing Your Dreams: Living Up To Your Full Potential. In it, he makes this comment, “Cut loose your full potential on the world and see what happens.” What do you think would happen if you actually did that? Do you think it would change people’s perception of you? Do you think it would change the way they remembered you? Absolutely!

It would also completely change the way you see yourself, your sense of personal identity. This is because your true self knows what you are capable of, and longs to unleash the power necessary to achieve your goals and dreams.

So what it comes down to is this: Do you want to be the best you can be, or are you willing to settle for some watered down version of yourself? If you said “the best you can be,” then you need to come up with a plan to make it happen.

Here’s a little exercise to help you find direction.

Write the Book of You

Sit down with pen and paper, and briefly recount all the high points of your life that brought you to where you are today. Now fill in the rest of the story exactly the way you want it to turn out. Write in the first person as if it had already happened and you’re doing a biography of your own life.

Make it vivid by including the details and feelings for each of your accomplishments and experiences. Don’t impose limits on yourself. Write the story of how you unleashed your full potential and experienced you life to the full. Get fully involved in the story and let it reflect the incredible joy and satisfaction of a truly rewarding life experience.

Are you inspired?

If you do the exercise, I guarantee you will be inspired, but then what? Obviously, inspiration needs to be acted on or nothing will change. Well this the exact subject that my friend Mike King covered so well in an article called: 8 Steps for Acting on Inspiration. In it, he walks you through some very effective ways to make a timely transition from inspiration to action. I suggest you have a look.

How will you be remembered?

The truth is, you will be remembered the same way you lived. So the real question is, how will you choose to live? It’s a decision that only you can make and the sooner you make it, the sooner your life goes from ordinary to extraordinary.

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I’ve just finished running a Quick Self-Improvement Survey and I wanted to share the results with you. A total of 145 people participated in this survey and it was interesting to watch how the results shifted as the number of participants increased.

There were just 3 questions on the survey and it only took about 30 seconds to complete. No personal information was required. My goal was to learn what issues were of greatest concern to my readers so I could keep the articles on this blog relevant to those concerns.

In the early stages, financial health was in first place, but over time some of the other issues moved up the chart. Finances actually finished in third place behind Relationships and Self-esteem, which were tied for first.

Below are the 3 survey questions and their top results

What stands out to you?

One thing that I noticed is the degree of optimism reflected in the answer to the third question. After all, that’s what this is all about – learning the advanced life skills that will help you to quickly improve the quality of your life. I also noticed  that gratitude and goal setting didn’t get much attention.

Currently, I have a similar survey going and I would love it if you would take a moment to share your priorities and help me stay connected with your needs and concerns.  It’s called My Top Priorities in Life

The value of surveys

It is very important to me personally to stay connected with my readers. I truly want to address your most pressing concerns, but I can’t do that unless I have a clear understanding of what those concerns are.

You might think that the 7500+ comments on this blog would be a good indicator, but there is a good reason to look beyond the comments. In truth, only a tiny fraction of readers leave comments. The rest might be called the quiet majority.

I want to hear from you!

My surveys are very short, mostly multiple choice, and no personal information is required. This makes it extremely easy for those readers, who might not be inclined to leave a comment, to provide valuable input.

Right now, I am interested in learning about your top priorities in life and I would really appreciate it if you could spare a minute to check a few boxes. Thanks for caring enough to take the survey My Top Priorities in Life.

PS. Currently, relationships are in first place with personal growth, happiness, and inner peace in a 3 way tie for second. I will update as we get more results!

Did any of the results from this survey surprise you?
What did you think of the new survey about priorities?
The lines are open!

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