The Challenge: Making the case for being Fully Present:

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by
Farnoosh, the creator of Prolific Living

My greatest challenge in life is full presence in the moment. My greatest happiness and best accomplishments have emerged from all those times when I have been fully present. The gap between the knowing and the doing is what brings me here to share my thoughts with you.

Is it even possible to be completely in the moment in this madly changing and swiftly moving world? The explosion of information age is anything but slowing down and we naturally want to partake on this exciting journey, on all of it and at the same time. Consuming as much as possible, doing as many things as possible, and being as many versions of ourselves as we can creatively think of.

With all due respect to over-achievement and over-execution on our plans and our dreams in record time, there may be a better way to approach our life than by doing it all simultaneously. 

I subscribe to the theory that it is better to do things well in life, remarkably well, and to give them our all than to not do them at all. It is better to be selective about our goals, our interests, our relationships and our commitments to others than to submit to everything and everyone that comes along. To do things to the best of our abilities, we must be fully present for all things.

Being fully present takes commitment, awareness, and conviction. It is not easy to do. Why do you need to be fully present if partially present will suffice? Why all the effort and work when less will do?

Let’s start by debunking assumptions: I consider these 3 general assumptions about super productivity to be false:

Assumption #1: Multitasking is Productive and Efficient.

Starting multiple tasks is a piece of cake but dividing your attention causes you to slip and make mistakes and that often costs you a lot more time later. Your mind is not a piece of clay. You cannot divide it into equal chunks and set them to various tasks on auto-pilot. Your mind is fluid like the ocean and you cannot predict its ebbs and flows when you divvy up your focus and attention back and forth. Single-tasking gets things done faster over a long period of time and almost always, with higher quality and better results than multitasking.

Assumption #2: Not everything you do deserves your best; often mediocrity will do.

An excellent life coach once told us in a seminar that every impression counts in the workplace and in life. She compared our overall impression to a large empty glass and each action on our part, large or small, a stone thrown into the glass. A black stone for a good impression and a red one for a poor impression. Every stone counts. Each stone adds to the glass and the full glass is the complete impression of who we are.

Mediocrity may suffice on the surface but if you compromise your own standards or true qualities in some situations in order to save time or money or effort in others, you will be adding red stones into your jar and at some point, they will taint your image.

Assumption # 3: People don’t notice when you are half-listening or half-doing.

You may never hear anyone complain or make mention of it to you; yet it would be naive to conclude that people fail to notice when you put forth less than your best. These people could be your coworkers, colleagues, peers, friends, family, fans or subscribers in the blogging world and their silence might not always mean support and satisfaction.

Every time you take a shortcut by spreading your attention too thin, you may disappoint a fan here, a friend there. That may seem negligible at first but it is not a good trend to continue. You can hold yourself accountable and responsible for your best by focusing on each task fully and completely because it deserves your best.

Being fully present for our life is certainly not the one and only advanced life skill you need but it is a quintessential quality to your success.

The Self-Awareness: What is your level of Presence in life situations?

If you are not fully present in your own life, you lose your authenticity over time and your true potential hardly has time to shine before the next task calls your name. Often, you may not even realize your lack of presence and focus.

Where does your self-awareness lie in these situations?

Examples of what it means to be FULLY present:

1. Listening intently, fully, completely to a speaker as an audience member or to a friend over tea.
2. Reading the entirety of an email, an article, or a blog post without interruption of unrelated thoughts.
3. Starting a task or solving a problem from start to finish, giving it your full focus, attention and best effort, regardless of importance.
4. Talking on the phone to a friend with happy news or a colleague in need of your advice with all of your attention and consideration and care, reflecting on what they are explaining and responding in kind.

Examples of what it means to be PARTIALLY present:

1. While listening to speaker or your close friend, you are also thinking of what you are going to say in response and how you will react to the topic or situation.
2. While reading a blog post, answering the phone or a text message, remembering to pay a bill (and proceeding to do so), half-listening to your spouse / partner in the background and checking your email at least three times.
3. Starting a task, and not even half-way through, start two more. Juggle them. Go back and forth, try to keep all of them straight, spend time re-focusing as you transition between them.
4. Talking on the phone to a friend or a colleague, whispering the reassuring words, while your mind wanders to all the drama of your own life.

So what do you think? Do you fall victim to any of the examples in the second set?

The Experiment: Is it worth your while to change?

For a course of one week, experiment with two methods: (1) Being Fully Present and (2) Being Partially Present.

• Start the week with anywhere from 5-10 major tasks or problems or challenges.
• Choose tasks and problems which require various degrees of attention, focus, interaction with others, and levels of effort and time.
• Tell no one about the experiment (particularly yourself for we often deceive ourselves!!)
• Examples could be: Listening to a speech, having a long conversation with your partner or friend, solving a problem on your website, creating a better strategy for your financial freedom, helping someone else with a problem, planning a long vacation, taking a yoga or dance class, you name it!

First part of the week: Decide on your tasks, start the first task, do a little, start the second one, do a little, and start the third one and do a little, so on and so forth. Then juggle back and forth between them as necessary and as your motivation dictates, until done. When finished, roughly estimate the quality and amount of time taken for all your efforts. Then set them aside.

Second part of the week: Decide on your tasks; then attack them one at a time. With the first one, focus your entire attention on it, do not spare an ounce of effort and more importantly any thought to the other pending tasks. Think, focus, and be truly present for the one in front of you. Desire to complete it well. Repeat for other tasks. Measure the same attributes upon finish.

Compare results and decide which method lent itself to your best results. If the first method wins, read on to sharpen those skills. If the second method, read on just to humor me.

The Change: Developing the skill to be Fully Present in Life

What is this craving to find distractions at every turn? Our minds seek instant gratification and our society and technology offer it in abundance. A wandering mind can escape work and concentration. Multitasking gives us the illusion of real productivity at times. It takes incredible self-discipline to develop a mindset of being fully present.

Methods to reinforce being fully present to yourself:

1. Do not feed the desire for distractions. Imagine being on a diet and resisting bad food at first. Consciously apply the knowledge until it becomes second nature.
2. Start small. Work without distraction for 10 minutes, then 20 then work up to an hour. Reward yourself with small milestones. Be patient with yourself.
3. Train yourself. After making tiny progress, make it habitual. Use self-discipline to develop the habit of focusing on one task at a time. Attack problems and your to-do list in single-mode.
4. Let the results fill up your motivation. It’s a cycle that can feed itself. If you see that you do your best when totally focused and fully present, you will want more of that outcome so you change your behavior to enable more success.

In the end, life happens to all of us. Urgent matters come up and naturally pull us away from important tasks. Outside factors change our plans and our directions. And we sometimes need to juggle and manage a million things at once. That, my friends, is life, as we all know. The point here in this post is to have the knowledge and awareness that in order to achieve your very best, it is best to be fully present at the task at hand.

Results speak for themselves. You make the choice.

Farnoosh is an exceptional writer who started pursuing her passions only in recent years. Her life changed when being a workaholic finally took a backseat, and balance became a survival matter. She has a love for personal expression, writing, reading, traveling, you, and Argentine tango. She explores all these elements and more on her fantastic blog Prolific Living. Please take some time to visit her, she has been an absolute pleasure to work with. In her own words: “I am thrilled to be contributing here to the fabulous Advanced Life Skills community.” Twitter @prolificliving

Do you prefer multitasking or single tasking?
Do you feel there is a time and place for both?
Is it a challenge fro you to focus on one thing at a time?
The lines are open!

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Questions can be used in many ways to assist us in our personal development. Asking the right ones can help break down the emotional anchors of limiting beliefs. This is powerful because beliefs are not usually subject to logic, but questions can help break down that resistance.

Another important way that we can use questions for personal development has to do with how we focus. The mind loves to find answers to questions. Give your mind a question and it immediately goes to work trying to find you the answer. So, asking the right questions will encourage our mind to think in a positive direction. This means that our focus will also move in that same positive direction.

Personal development has everything to do with focus. We grow as a person in the same direction as our focus. If we focus on negative things, that will define our world. This is the opposite of personal development. But we can’t focus in two directions at once. This means that carefully constructed questions actually harness our attention and move it along the path of our choice. The video below will show you how to do that. It’s called…

Use Questions to Empower Yourself

Personal development follows focus

I hope you found this information helpful. With a little practice you’ll find that using built in assumptions in this way will become almost second nature. Learning to make positive assumptions about the various situations in our life has a dramatic effect on our attitude, and our perception of life in general.

As we continually train our mind to focus in positive directions, the negative aspects of life fade into the background. It’s the classic half-full half-empty syndrome. When we are focused on possibility and opportunity our world responds accordingly. New opportunities will arise, and we will see possibility everywhere we look. This is the power of using questions as personal development tools.

Do you have a favorite assumption that you like to use?
Do you feel there is personal development value in this method?
The lines are open and your thoughts are very important!

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When the topic of self-sabotage comes up, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? The first thing I think of is internal disharmony and limiting beliefs. Makes sense, right.

Does that mean that people who don’t suffer from internal disharmony or limiting beliefs don’t have self-sabotaging issues? As it turns out, there are other ways we can sabotage our own results that have nothing to do with beliefs. How do I know?

This is somewhat embarrassing

Ever had one of those painful “Ah Ha” moments? You know the kind where you suddenly realize something about yourself that makes you feel like a complete bonehead. Not because that “something” is such a bad thing, but because you never really saw how it was affecting your life.

Well, I just had one of those. I just saw plainly how my own enthusiasm was actually having a negative impact on the results I am creating. Ouch! So now, I am going to blow the whistle on myself and create some accountability. Why? Because now that I know that there’s a problem, it’s time to do something about it.  

Self-sabotaging behavior from what source?

Here are a few things about me that you may or may not know:

1) I’m a person who takes action when something excites me.
2) I am constantly learning and implementing new information.
3) I have zero limiting beliefs about what I am capable of.

Sounds good, right? But here’s the problem, I am a starter! That means that I like to take a new concept, break it down into actionable steps, and then take action on what I’ve learned. When something else comes along that gets my attention, I do the same thing again.

Do you see the problem? I am always starting new projects before I finish whatever I was working on before. I have so many half finished projects that it’s ridiculous. So, in a very real way, those three positive traits I listed above have come back to bite me.

Undisciplined enthusiasm can sabotage your results

Enthusiasm is a wonderful trait, and I’m blessed with massive amounts. In fact, when it comes to enthusiasm for new projects, maybe I have a little too much. Let’s face it, if we fail to see our projects through to completion, we will never realize the reward for our hard work. We end up just spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere.

Now that I am aware of how this tendency has been undermining my results, it’s time to take some decisive action and turn things around. Here are some of the strategies I plan to use to accomplish that.

7 action steps to help me finish what I’ve started.

1) Be more task oriented. This means focusing on the task at hand until it is completed. Every “start” needs to have a corresponding “finish.” Instead of just seeing the phases of a project, it’s important to see the whole project. Starting is a phase, but it’s not the whole project. Instead of applying my enthusiasm to starting something new, I will apply it to the next successive phase of the current project.

2) Define each step ahead of time. Knowing what steps are required defines where we are going. There will always be some unanticipated twists along the way, but we don’t want to be surprised by complete phases because we failed to analyze what’s involved. A plan of action needs to be well thought out ahead of time. This gives us a logical sequence to follow so we can move steadily toward completion.

3) Treat each phase like a small project. Once we know what is required, then each step should receive our focused attention. We still need to be mindful of the big picture, but each phase of the project will go much faster if we give it the focus it deserves. If we follow our already established “logical sequence,” it will lead us to completion.

4) Use applied focus sessions. This is the best way I know to keep my eye on the ball while it’s still in play. Applied focus sessions allow anyone to accomplish much more in a shorter amount of time because they eliminate distractions. When we get distracted, even for a moment, it takes several minutes to regain our focus. Distractions, large or small, kill productivity.

5) Ignore the lure of new ideas. For me, if something comes along that sounds irresistible, I will just make a note to check it out later. That means forget about it until after I complete whatever it is I am working. This is where I let myself get sidetracked, so for me personally, there can be no compromise here.

6) Limit my focus. Let’s face it; we all have other things besides new projects that require regular attention. For most people, life is pretty full without adding anything to the mix. That means there is a need to be economical with our time. It may be possible to find more time by eliminating a few time wasters, but that only works to a point. It would be counterproductive to take on new projects at the expense of necessary commitments.

7) Value completion. On some level, I must be attaching more value to starting projects than to finishing them. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be in this situation. It likely stems from the fact that I just like to take things from the conceptual stage to the action stage. Like I said, I’m a starter, but now it’s time to become a finisher. Learning to attach significant value to completion is certainly a good place to begin.

What can you learn from my mistake!

It is entirely possible for any of us to sabotage our own efforts without harboring any limiting beliefs. Sometimes it just comes down to the process. If we are constantly getting derailed between point A and point B, something is out of adjustment. Our habits, or daily rituals, have a powerful influence on the results we create. And they are some of the easiest things to adjust if we are willing.

A small change in the way we manage our focus can have a dramatic and lasting effect on our quality of life. In a very practical way, knowing this gives you an enormous amount of creative control over your personal reality. Putting these 7 action steps down in writing has empowered me to quickly begin creating even better results for my efforts.

How about you? Can you see any area in your life where a simple shift in focus could lead to a significant improvement? If so, why not get the ball rolling be leaving a comment and creating some accountability? It worked for me and it can also work for you.

All of us are very busy creating our personal reality. Creativity is a full-time job and we are all quite good at it. Problem is, most of the time we do this unconsciously. That means that there’s a strong likelihood we use our energy to manifest things we don’t really want.

Because creativity is part of our nature we are usually not consciously aware of our role in the creative process. There is a natural tendency to resist the idea that we are the ones creating it. This is especially true when we manifest a reality that we don’t really like.

Until we are ready to acknowledge the role our personal creativity plays in our own reality we will probably continue to manifest results we would rather avoid.

Avoidance and the power of negative focus

We’ve talked many times about the power of focus to help us accomplish our goals. But without direction, focus can actually cause us to manifest the very things we’re trying to avoid. In fact, an avoidance mindset can program us to use our creativity to continually produce the exact things we don’t want.

Here’s what happens when we try to avoid something. Let’s say it’s a cold winter day and there’s ice on the walkway. Obviously, you don’t want to slip on the ice and fall down. So, as you go out the door you think to yourself: “Be careful, don’t slip on the ice.”  

What happens next?

Your mind cannot process the thought “don’t slip on the ice” without visualizing you slipping on the ice. What have you just done? You’ve just used your creativity to form a mental image of yourself slipping on the ice, and now that’s what you are focused on. The slicker the walkway, the more you will focus on that mental image.

Can you see where this is leading? You’re walking down a slippery path and your mind is focused on an image of you slipping and falling. The harder you focus, the more likely you are to slip and fall. In this case, you’re using the power of focus to manifest the very situation you are trying to avoid.

Negative target fixation

Target fixation is a process by which the brain becomes locked onto an observed object. In an avoidance scenario, the observer can become so fixated on the target that they will forget to take the necessary action to avoid it, and end up colliding with the object.

This is a common issue for motorcyclists and mountain bikers. A motorcycle or bicycle will go where the rider is looking. When the rider has his attention fixated on an obstacle he wants to avoid, he greatly increases the chances of a collision. That’s the power of focus.

The same thing can happen when you visualize a situation you are trying to avoid. The harder you focus on it, the greater the likelihood that you will manifest it. Focusing on the avoidance of a negative outcome, actually increases the likelihood of that outcome.

Reprogramming our response

Understanding the human tendency to adopt an avoidance mindset affords us the power to overcome negative target fixation. Once we recognize that we are subconsciously programmed to focus on things we want to avoid, we can change our response.

To accomplish this, it’s important to acknowledge the role of external input on our focus. If we constantly expose ourselves to negative propaganda, such as the nightly news, it’s going to influence the direction of our focus.

If the talking heads are trying to convince us that we’re going to catch the swine flu, lose our homes, or be a victim of identity theft, what kind of outcomes are we going to visualize? The fastest way to direct our creativity toward a negative reality is to focus on negative things. Need proof? Just look at how many people manage to manifest  the exact reality they see on the nightly news.

What are you focusing on?

One of the things that reveals what we are focused on is our speech. Do you tend to talk about problems, or opportunities? Do you contribute to negative conversations, or do you endeavor to shift the conversation in a more positive direction?

Is your conversation encouraging, or discouraging? Do you talk about what’s wrong with your life, or do you share the things you’re grateful for? Do you have a complaining spirit, or do you look for the positive aspect of any situation?

Most of us like to think of ourselves as having a positive outlook. If that’s true, then it will be reflected in our conversations. So I encourage you to take a close look at your favorite topics for discussion, and see if there’s any room for adjustment. We tend to talk about the things that we are focused on.

Avoid avoidance (how’s that for an oxymoron?)

How do we avoid focusing on negative possibilities? We need to look past them and see our desired outcome. When a motorcyclists wants to avoid an obstacle, instead of getting trapped in negative target fixation he needs to look past that obstacle. He needs to focus on where he wants to be, not where he doesn’t want to be.

We can do the same thing! If we’re trying to get from our front door to the car over an slippery walkway, focus on the car instead of the walkway. If money is tight and bills are piling up, focus on income, not the possibility of poverty. If you want to feel good about your life, focus on the things you are grateful for instead of your problems.

Accept your creative role in your personal reality

If you don’t like the reality you have been creating you can change it. But to do that, you first need to accept your role in the creative process. You need to take responsibility for the reality you manifest. Once you do that you will empower yourself to create the life you really want.

Don’t become a victim of negative target fixation. Don’t allow external influences to poison your mind with negative propaganda. Focus your creativity on where you want to be and fully accept your role in what you manifest. Then get ready to be amazed as the doors of possibility swing open and your life takes on a whole new dimension.

Do you feel like the creator of your reality?
Are you creating what you want, or don’t want?
Have you ever struggled with negative target fixation?
The lines are open!

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Rick is only 45 years old, and yet he seems much older. The reason I say that is his attitude. As far as Rick is concerned, his life has never been, nor will it ever be, as fun and exciting as it was during his college years. Everything after that is just a big disappointment.
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Get him into a conversation about college, his eyes light up and he becomes really animated. But ask him what he’s up to now, and he says: “you know, same old thing.” In sharp contrast, Rick’s 14 year old son Jason, who looks like a little Rick, is extremely enthusiastic and positive about everything.
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Is this contrast just about age?
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Have you ever noticed how people’s conversations tend to run in one of three directions? There are those who talk mostly with a reference to the future, those who talk about the present, and others who speak primarily with reference to the past.
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That’s not to say that their conversation doesn’t include all three, just that their general focus is either in the past, present, or future. I’ve also noticed that this trend often correlates to a persons age group.
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Who’s looking forward, and who’s looking back?
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Younger people are often very future oriented. They feel that their whole life is ahead of them, and they are enthusiastic about all of the possibilities. On the flip side, the conversation of many older people often reveals that, in their mind, the best days of their life are all in the past. As a result, they find it easier to feel enthusiastic about the past than the future.
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Of course, all age groups talk about the present, but many times there is a major difference in the tone of those conversations as well. Generally speaking, the younger the group the more excitement they attach to their current daily activities.
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How can we continue to be excited about life?
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Even though these observations appear to be age related, age is not as strong an influence as you might think. Why do I say that? Because I also know fairly young people, like Rick, who look back longingly on their glory days, as if life couldn’t possibly be that good again.
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Even more significant, I personally know people in their fifties and sixties who are just the opposite. Instead of pining over yesteryear, the are still very excited by their current activities, and extremely enthusiastic and optimistic about the future. In fact, I have an amazing friend named Glen who is a very enthusiastic 89 years young. 
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What accounts for such opposite viewpoints?
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This is where we can turn simple observations into advanced Life skills. These differences are not age related, even though it may appear to be that way. The truth is, these differences are attitude and focus oriented, and have very little to do with chronological age.
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This is true of many so called aging related conditions, regardless of whether they are mental, emotional, or physical. Our perception has a much greater influence on our reality than our circumstances do.
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Life is mostly what you make it!
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If you want to feel old at any age, all you need to do is convince yourself that your best days are in the past. Manifest this mindset, and you will quickly lose your optimism and enthusiasm about the future. This is an effective strategy for turning your life into an endurance contest.
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Now, let’s turn that around. To maintain a sense of youthful enthusiasm, and an optimistic view of your life and future, what should you do? You should create legitimate reasons to believe that these are the good old days, and that your best years are just ahead. With the right focus and attitude, your life will continue to be full of amazing possibilities.
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Things you can do right now!
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Let’s look at some practical ways that we can move closer to the kind of attitude that fosters a sense of excitement and optimism. Here are some dos and don’ts to get you started.
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1) Do – set new meaningful goals for your life.
And don’t allow self-imposed limits to get in your way.
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2) Do – design goals that play on your experience and knowledge.
And don’t – make comparisons with what you used to do.
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3) Do – take steps to stay physically fit and active.
And don’t – ignore your health until it’s too late.
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4) Do – continue to learn and grow your knowledge base.
And don’t – allow your brain to go unstimulated.
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5) Do – practice looking forward with eager anticipation.
And don’t – waste your life looking backwards.
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6) Do – be willing to work around new challenges.
And don’t – give up because you encounter difficulties.
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7) Do – appreciate all the benefits that come with experience.
And don’t – ever stop being grateful for each day of life.
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Learning to be adaptable!
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Nothing in life stays the same for very long. Life is in a state of change, so resisting change is a colossal waste of energy. On the other hand, learning to adapt quickly is a skill that can serve us at any age. Instead of thinking: “I can’t do that any more,” try saying: “I had to find a new way to do that.” Continue to challenge yourself.
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Every stage of life has it’s strengths, and we should be willing to exploit those strengths. The natural progression of life is one of accumulated wisdom and knowledge. As far as I’m concerned, that’s something to be enthusiastic about.
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How do you feel about your prospects for the future?
Do you prefer to think about today over yesterday?
The lines are open!
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Stay up to date, get the feed!
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Related articles:
When Lightning Strikes
What’s Standing in Your Way?
7 Traits of Highly Confident People
Don’t Let Fear Get In Your Way
Using Transference to Increase Self-Confidence

* Editors Note: This is a guest post from Steven Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts
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Silence has an energy to it like no other source, it can force people to think, it can force people to act, it can help slow the mind down, and it is a powerful ally in the likes of counseling and life coaching.
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The trouble with silence is that many people feel the need to fill the void of silence with needless chatter, with TV, with Music, with noise of some kind. Silence can be disconcerting and can make people feel uncomfortable and alone, that’s why the world is filled with TV’s that have been left on when nobody is watching it, for background noise.
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What happens when there is silence?
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We turn our thoughts and focus inwards and gain the power we need to refuel our minds. Our ego is temporarily switched off or at least made to be quiet for a bit, and we start to see the real world as it should be. Our thoughts get in the way of our reality sometimes and we don’t see the beauty of the world around us. When there is silence there is time for introspection and to allow your true self to speak, not the ego, not the conscious mind but the true self connected to the flow of energy around us.
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5 Examples of when to use silence
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1. During arguments. One of the most powerful things we can do during an argument is to stay silent. The ego will be trying to force it’s way out of you and finish the argument but you are the controller, not the ego. When someone is shouting at you, looking for an argument or just picking on you you can literally take all the power away from them and keep all your energy by simply looking at them and saying absolutely nothing. This is extremely difficult to do but very powerful.
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2. Gossiping. When there is a crowd of people in the workplace there are gossipers who speak about other people. The thing with gossiping is that it is contagious. When we don’t like someone and someone else starts speaking about them we naturally tend to voice our opinion, I’ve done it lots of times and have to stop myself.
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Try and stop yourself from catching the virus of gossiping and become silent whenever it occurs. If you are a gossiper yourself and people around start to notice that you are ‘not your usual self’, don’t give an explanation just leave saying you’ve got work to do or whatever, pretty soon you’ll be out of the gossiping loop.
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3. When someone is talking. Silence is a great tool for counselors if used in the right way. It’s also great when listening to friends and family.
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Just let people talk and listen to them and use your facial expressions and movements to acknowledge that you are listening. This can be a tough thing to do but extremely powerful for both you, as the listener, and the talker.
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You will find that as you practice this, more people come to talk to you as you will be known as a listener. Obviously there are times to speak during the conversation, however when you do, make sure it is to paraphrase what the talker is saying or asking questions to get more information, don’t make it about yourself.
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When people want to know more about you they will ask you questions, this is the time to talk about yourself but always have the listener be part of the conversation.
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4. When the house is empty. The silence of the home can be quite disturbing to some people as there is a natural need to fill the void of silence. We turn on the radio, play some music, call friends or family, or turn on the TV to fill this void. Having a completely silent home when you are alone does not mean you are alone it simply means you are recharging your mind and giving it some downtime.
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Silence helps us to work through, in our minds, the events of the day or project what we want to happen during the day ahead. I am a night owl and also a morning lark. I love the silence when I know everyone is safe and tucked up in bed and I can write or work on the computer. At the weekends I go to bed with my wife to talk about days events or our plans and just have a laugh or whatever. My wife, who loves her sleep, has gone to sleep I kiss her goodnight and get up for a few hours to write as this is the time I am most inspired. I am also the first person up in the morning which means I have another 2 hours to write or work on my online projects.
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I know it’s harder when you are alone, however silent time can be used to think about the life you want and work out ways to get it.
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5. Meditation. This is a fantastic way to connect with world in a way that is not possible when you are surrounded by hubbub noise. 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes in the evening simply focusing on your breath can do wonders for both mind and body. I truly believe, with practice, we reach another world when we meditate. It’s not religious in any way, but of course you can choose to make it religious.
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The state of silence is a way of reaching another part of your mind not possible when going about your daily routine. This other part of your mind is connected in every way to the world around you and with practice you can tap into this knowledge.
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Your thoughts
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Does silence help you? Let us know how you have used silence in your life and how it has helped you.
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Steven Aitchison is the founder and creator of Change Your Thoughts . His blog focuses on personal development through the process of changing your thoughts. When he’s not working online, Steve works as an alcohol and drugs counselor. To learn more about Steve and his approach to personal development, be sure to visit him at Change Your Thoughts.

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Why is it so hard to focus on the task at hand these days? Could it be because we live in a world of seemingly constant and endless distractions? Think back on the events of the last week or so. How often did your productivity fall victim to distractions? How many times a day did you start to do something, only to end up doing everything except what you wanted to do?
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It’s not just information overload that presents a challenge to our ability to focus. It’s everything overload. Our attention is being pulled in so many different directions that the simplest of tasks can seem impossible to get to.
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Multitasking does not work!
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Productivity is not about how many things you can do at once. It’s about how many things you complete. If you are jumping around, a few minutes here and a few minutes there, it’s very unlikely that you will actually see anything through to completion. Even if you do manage to complete something, chances are it took you way longer than it should have.
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When you try to do more than one thing at a time, what happens to your focus? It’s divided, right? The more divided your focus is, the busier you will be, and the less you will get done. I’m sure we all know from experience that we can be very busy and still accomplish very little. It happens to me much too often, and I’m guessing it happens to you as well.
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What’s the opposite of multitasking?
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The opposite of multitasking is doing one, and only one, thing at a time. What happens to your ability to focus when you restrict your efforts to just a single task? Your focus increases dramatically, doesn’t it?
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What if you are focused on a single task and you don’t experience any distractions or interruptions? You will probably be able to complete that task in record time. Now when you compare the way you feel after completing something in record time, compared to not being able to get anything done, which one makes you feel better?
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Let’s face it, productivity feels really good. 
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Everyone loves the feeling of accomplishment. It makes us feel like our efforts paid off, and now we have something to show for it. The quicker we can get something completed they better we feel about it.
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There are other benefits to increased productivity, like more free time to spend doing things we really want to do. All to often important personal or family activities get put on the back burner because we end up spending too much time working. This is not a very balanced way to live. It was happening to me and I got tired of it.
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Applied focus to the rescue!
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Is it possible to accomplish more, and to do it in less time? Yes it is, and the way we do that is by increasing our focus, while simultaneously eliminating ALL distractions. And it’s important to recognize that one really depends on the other. .
No matter how focused we are, one little distraction can derail us. If you stop what you’re doing long enough to answer the phone or check your email, you break your focus. When that happens it will take several minutes to get back in the zone. That means you have effectively delayed the completion of that particular task.
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How applied focus works
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Applied focus is a simple strategy that will quickly multiply your productivity based on the principles we just discussed. Here’s how it works. Each applied focus session is 45 minutes long, followed by a 15 minute focus shift. This means that you will intentionally stop focusing on the task at hand and do something completely different during the 15 minutes of focus shift.
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It also means that during your 45 minute applied focus session you will not allow anything (except dire emergencies) to distract you. No phone calls in or out, no checking emails, and no twitter, facebook or StumbleUpon. The goal is 45 minutes of uninterrupted focus on a single predetermined task.
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Here are some guidelines
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Because most of my work is done on a computer, I’m going to use that as an example. You can adjust these guidelines to fit your particular situation. The same principles can be applied to any task.
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1) Only one window open on your computer. For example, if you are writing an article the only thing on your computer screen is your favorite word processor. That means that your browser is closed. This will greatly reduce the temptation to wander from the task at hand.
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2) Time your sessions. One of the hardest things to do is stop in the middle of a task that you are totally focused on. It’s much easier to lose track of time and just keep working. Don’t do it! After 45 minutes of focus, your mind needs a few minutes to do some neurological organization. Otherwise, your ability to maintain optimal focus will suffer.
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3) Get up from your desk. If you work at a desk, get up and walk away during your 15 minutes of focus shift. Go get a drink, walk around, visit, have a snack, use the bathroom, whatever you need to do. Let your eyes look at something else, and give your mind a break.
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4) Get prepared ahead of time. If you are writing an article, do your outline and research during a separate, applied focus session. That way you can focus on the writing. If you have to stop writing to do some research, you have broken your focus and reduced your level of productivity. Use separate focus sessions to handle different aspects of the same task.
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5) Relegate email and telephone calls to their own session. Have one or two time slots specifically for “other necessary activities.” Make your calls, read and respond to emails, do your social networking, reply to comments on your blog, etc. Reserve an applied focus session just for those activities instead of allowing them to become interruptions.
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Ease into it slowly!
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Using applied focus sessions to increase your productivity takes some getting used to. Don’t start out by scheduling eight sessions your first day. You need to train yourself, and those around you, to a new way of thinking.
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To minimize interruptions, tell others that you are only available for brief phone conversations, for example, during the last 15 minutes of each hour. If they require more time, have them call back during the time slot you have set aside for that purpose.
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The rewards are worth the effort
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Once you become accustomed to using applied focus sessions it will change your life. Your increased productivity will carry the added benefit of more free time for personal pursuits. Even things like exercising can be consolidated and optimized using this approach.
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Your increased ability to focus will also improve your relationships. When you are with people you care about, you will be better at focusing on the moment. Conversations and other interactions will be enhanced because you won’t be so easily distracted. Learning to focus is truly an advanced life skill worth mastering.
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What is the greatest challenge to your ability to focus?
Which distractions do you struggle with the most?
The lines are open!
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Photography is an amazing way to learn about focus. This is because the very act of viewing life through the lens of a camera, can help to us develop a truly empowering skill. We call that skill focus, and learning to use it properly can transform our perception of the world around us.

Let’s look at 3 things photography can teach us about focus.

1) The higher the magnification, the narrower the field of vision. This principal is what allows you to use a telephoto lens to pick out a single face in a very large crowd. As you focus in on that one subject, the rest of the crowd disappears from view. Why does that happen? Because you field of vision narrows until the entire frame is filled with that one face.

When you take the picture, the crowd is excluded. It doesn’t mean that there is no crowd. It simply means that you don’t see them in the picture because that is not what you were focused on.

Application: Your perception is determined by what you focus on. This means that we can use our ability to focus our attention in a way that causes an empowering shift in our perception. It doesn’t matter whether we are looking at a person, situation, or an experience. We can control what our picture looks like by controlling what we choose to focus on.

If you focus intently on the positive aspects of any person, place, or thing, the negative aspects will fade into the background. They will still exist, but they will be outside of your field of concentration, and will have little or no influence on the picture you see.

2) Lighting has a huge influence on how you see things, and your ability to focus. If you set your camera on a tripod and focus it on a single object, the lighting will determine how you see that object.

Imagine that you have decided to photograph a magnificent tree that is standing alone on the top of a hill. If your camera remained stationary, and you took one picture every hour from sun up till sundown, what would you have? You would have twelve (or so) completely different photographs. Why? Even though the subject remained the same, the variation in lighting changed it’s appearance.

Application: The degree of value we choose to assign to anything we focus on, can be compared to lighting. If it’s something of great importance, we put a spotlight on it so we can see every detail. If it is relatively insignificant, we dial down the light so it doesn’t distract from the things that really matter.

If we assign too much value to (shine a spotlight on) things of little importance, they will overshadow the more valuable aspects of our life.

By assigning increased value to thing like gratitude, relationships, health, and honesty, we bring those things front and center in our life. This means that they move higher on our list of priorities and capture more of our attention. As a result, less empowering aspects of life will be relegated to a lower priority and receive less attention.

3) Shutter speed effects the quality and clarity of any photograph. Under glaring conditions, exposure time needs to be reduced to avoid overexposing the picture. When the lighting is poor, a slower shutter speed allows enough time for the available light to properly expose the image.

If you use a fast shutter speed in a low light situation, the image will not register. Your picture will be underexposed and worthless as a result. Using a slower shutter speed when trying to capture an action shot will give you a blurry picture devoid of details, also worthless.

Exposure time needs to change to fit the requirements of each situation. If it doesn’t, then quality and clarity are compromised.

Application: In life, we need to make choices about what we are willing to expose ourselves to, and for how long. We only have so many hours in a day. Learning to manage the time available is really a process of deciding how much time we spend on each activity.

If you stay too long at unimportant activities (overexpose yourself), you will end up underexposing yourself to the really important ones. Once again, exposure time needs to change to fit the requirements of each situation. We also need to acknowledge that some things are not worth exposing ourselves to at all.

Making positive changes in the quality of our life requires us to assign meaningful amounts of time to meaningful pursuits. If we don’t control our time, mundane activities will expand to fill the time available. By managing your time and adjusting your exposure, you will be able to give greater focus to activities that make a solid contribution to the quality of your life.

Auto focus, good or bad?

For most of us, photography is a point and shoot process. Automatic cameras require very little skill to produce fairly nice pictures. Truly exceptional photographs however, still require a skilled photographer to manually control the focus and shutter speed, and to recognize or create the perfect lighting.

High quality photos are still produced by those with enough skill to make the best use of the tools available. They want above average results, and they consider it worth their time and effort to develop the necessary skills.

What Kind of results do you want?

For a lot of people, life is just an average experience, it’s a point and shoot affair. Generally, this is not because they don’t want an exceptional life. It may be because they haven’t taken the time to develop the life skills required to produce exceptional results. Or perhaps, they never had an opportunity to learn those Life skills in the first place. Whatever the reason, the skills are available for anyone desiring to live a truly exceptional life.

How about you, is average good enough, or do you want exceptional? When you look at your life, what kind of picture do you want to see?

Let’s here your answers, questions or feedback!

For some reason the natural human tendency seems to be to reflect on our negative experiences rather than our positive ones. At the end of the day, what stands out in your mind? Isn’t it true that we easily recall the things that went wrong during the day, but have to give some thought to what there was to be grateful for?

This tendency has to do with the way we mentally organize our experiences. The two most powerful forces in our lives are:

1) moving away from pain

2) moving toward pleasure

Of these two, moving away from pain is the more powerful. For this reason, painful experiences are stored in our memories in a way that makes them easier to access. Our mind sorts and organizes our experiences according to the priorities that we place on them. Unless we make a conscious effort, our natural tendency is to place a higher priority on pain than on pleasure. This is kind of a spin-off program related to our survival instinct.

We encounter expressions of this tendency all the time. How many people do you know that continually talk about their problems? Is it because problems are the only things going on in their lives? No, although it may seem that way to them.

We all experience challenges and blessings, that’s the way life is. Thankfully, we have the ability to organize our memories of those experiences in a way that places a higher priority on our blessings. Yes, we need to work at it, but doing so can completely change the way we experience life.

Would you like to organize your mental file cabinet so that positive experiences are given a higher priority than problems?

Think about the way you organize your kitchen cupboards. The items that you use most frequently are in front where you can easily access them. The items that are used less often, have a lower priority and are stored toward the back.

When you open the cupboard, what is the first thing you see?

You see what ever is stored in the front, and this serves as a reminder to you of what is contained in the cabinet. The items that are stored in the back can be easily forgotten. In fact, when you need one of them, you may have to go searching for it.

If you have a file cabinet, you are probably familiar with the files that are closest to the front. Those are the first ones you see, and they are probably the ones you access most often.

It’s all about organization

Whatever we focus on the most expands. At the same time, it moves up in priority compared of the things we focus on less often. How can we make practical application of this information?

One of the most effective ways I know of, is to keep a gratitude journal.

Personally, I’ve always shied away from the idea of keeping a journal. This year, that is going to change. This means that I am going to have to develop a new habit, which will require a little getting used to. So why bother?

Because I intend to have an absolutely extraordinary year! How about you? Are you interested in adopting a simple habit with the potential to powerfully shift your consciousness in a more positive direction? Here’s a simple way to accomplish that.

A gratitude journal

At the end of each day, open up your journal and make two entries. On the left, record the date, and one or two things that you have to be grateful for that day. On the right side, briefly write down one or two challenges that you faced, and the value of each. That’s all there is too it.

On the left side

As you sort through your day’s experiences, you will be searching for blessings. This means that your mind will be focused on, and moved to prioritize, all of the positive experiences you’ve had during the course of the day. Remember, what you focus on expands. After a week or two, you will begin to form a new habit, the habit of focusing on reasons to feel grateful.

Once your mind becomes accustomed to this new habit, it will change the way the you experience your day. Because your mind realizes that you are going to ask it to provide you with a list of blessings when the day is over, it will begin gathering that information throughout the day. With each passing day, it will be easier, and easier, to recall your positive experiences.

You can focus in only one direction at a time

The mind does not like to multi-task, it prefers to focus in one direction at a time. This means that you cannot give the same priority to positive experiences and problems at the same time. Training your mind to focus on your blessings means shoving problems to the back of the file cabinet. As your mental files become filled with reasons to be grateful, problems will seem increasingly farther away.

On the right side

So why are we going to write down our challenges on the right side if we’re trying to focus on blessings? The key here is to briefly describe the problem, and then to write down how you benefited from that problem. There is value in all challenges. What you write on the right hand side of your journal will teach you to recognize the hidden value of each challenge you face.

This approach will create a quantum shift in the way you view challenges. It will help you develop the habit of asking, “what can I learn from this?” If your mind is searching for the hidden value in each challenge you face, you will no longer view your challenges as problems. If something has value, then it must be a blessing, something to be grateful for.

So why have I decided to keep a journal?

Because the blessings that result from such a minimal effort far outweigh the tiny little investment required. This is a perfect example of a simple step that anyone can take to transform the way they experience their life. Are you willing to spend a minute are two at the end of each day to rearrange your mental file cabinets and drastically improve the quality of your life? I know I am, why not do it with me?

How do you feel about this?
Do you think it is worth the effort?
The lines are open, let’s talk about it…