Can You Allow Appreciation to Change Your Life?

by Jonathan on August 12, 2010

Appreciation

We are all aware of the benefits that come from being appreciative and grateful. But sometimes that’s easier said than done. In the face of a sinking economy, do you find it difficult to be appreciative? When it feels like your very way of life is being threatened, can you still find reasons to be grateful?

Yes, sometimes finding the good in a situation can seem like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. Yet, the benefits of being in a state of genuine appreciation in spite of what’s going on around us are worth investigating. This is where focus comes into the picture. We can actually train ourselves to search for, discover, and focus on legitimate reasons to feel appreciation. 

Seek and you shall find

Regardless of where we are, or what we may be doing, there is always something in our life worth appreciating. The challenge is to train ourselves to automatically search for reasons to manifest appreciation.

This may or may not be your natural tendency, but with practice all of us can certainly develop the appreciation habit.

Have you ever been around someone who never has a bad word to say about anyone or anything? How do you feel while in the company of that person? It’s refreshing, isn’t it?

Conversely, have you ever been around someone who always has something negative to say? How does that make you feel? Nobody likes to be around Mr. Bummer, especially since negative attitudes can be so contagious.

So the first thing we can do is to seek out friends and associates whose tendency is toward the positive side. At the same time, to the degree possible, we want to avoid spending too much time with those who like to dwell on the dark side. Choosing our associates wisely can really help us to cultivate the right attitude.

Now that we’ve surrounded ourselves with a more positive group of people, what should we do next?

Become a treasure hunter

We want to develop the habit of searching for, and discovering, something to appreciate about every person, situation, or experience we encounter.

Admittedly, this can be difficult sometimes. That’s why I likened it to a treasure hunt. Even if the situation you are in seems to be 99% negative, could you locate that one percent that is worthy of your appreciation? Once located, could you focus on it?

I was thinking about people that pan for gold. Almost all of what fills their gold pan is just rubble, but where is their focus? Most of the time, they don’t even see the gravel and sand because they are searching for the sparkle. They’re looking for that tiny, little fragment of gold, and they are so focused that their mind filters out everything else.

What happens when they find that little piece of gold? They get excited, their focus increases, and their appreciation grows. Could we apply that approach to our daily life?

Choose your orientation

Popular opinion and the nightly news seem to have combined to paint a very negative picture. How much have these two, powerful forces influenced your personal viewpoint?

It is far too easy to adopt the perspective of the majority when you are surrounded by negativity, but in this case it’s not a very healthy option. To keep your perspective, you need to learn to think for yourself, and avoid letting others do it for you. That means you need to find ways of limiting your exposure to those who influence your thinking in a negative direction. That way you can…

1) Stay informed, but without getting too absorbed.
2) Choose to focus on the positive aspects of every situation.
3) Change the subject when a conversation starts to go negative.

Everything is seeking balance

When the natural state of balance is disrupted, something always happens to correct the situation. Sometimes a correction may seem painful, but that does not mean that it’s a bad thing.

If you push yourself too hard, for too long, while ignoring your health and the need for rest, what will happen? Chances are, you’ll get sick. Nobody likes to be sick, but in reality it’s just your body’s way of seeking balance. You needed to rest and recover, and being sick provides the opportunity to do just that.

If you find yourself in this situation, could you appreciate the fact that you are now getting some much-needed rest? See, there is always something that we can appreciate.

If an economy pushes itself too hard, it gets out of balance. Right now the economy is sick because it needs to rest and recover. Can we appreciate that the end result will be a healthier, more balanced economy?

Use questions to build your sense of appreciation

Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, asking the right questions, or making the right statements, can help you discover reasons to be appreciative.

For example:

1) What is there about this person, situation, or experience that I can appreciate?
2) What valuable lesson has this experience taught me?
3) How can I benefit from this person’s example? (Even if it’s an example of what not to do.)
4) What is this person’s most outstanding, positive characteristic?
5) How can I inject some positive energy into this situation?

If you cultivate the habit of focusing on the positive, your level of appreciation will increase. As you find more and more reasons to appreciate every aspect of your life, you will become a magnet for attracting positive energy. And that positive energy flowing into your life will give you even more cause for appreciation.

Now it’s up to you.
Will you allow appreciation to change your life?

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Sandra Hendricks August 12, 2010 at 11:45 pm

Thank you Jonathan for directing me to this post. I enjoyed reading it and really related to what you are saying. We can develop a habit of finding the positive in any situation. I just had this conversation with a woman I met at a yard sale last week.

We started chatting and before I knew it were talking about the Law of Attraction and various issues. After we had talked for about fifteen minuets I asked her if she found that she was happy almost always. We both agreed how amazing it is to feel this way.

She told me that she sees opportunity and good things everywhere. I agreed and told her that I did too. She said she doesn’t even notice something bad about a situation when someone is talking with her until they point it out to her. It is strange how we can get so accustomed to seeing any problem as a potential solution. We really do see past the problems and look to the solutions in life, with some practice!

I think that with lots of time we develop a genuine ability to discern and everything falls into place. It seems when we get to this place in life we are never without options. The more you search for the things you appreciate the more automatic it becomes.
Sandra Hendricks´s last amazing blog post ..Responding to Your Wants Rather Than ReactingMy ComLuv Profile

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2 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 13, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Hi Sandra, these two sentences really tied it: “It seems when we get to this place in life we are never without options. The more you search for the things you appreciate the more automatic it becomes.”

That’s exactly it, never without options and automatic appreciation orientation. I know everyone wants this and with some practice everyone can have it.

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3 Zeenat{Positive Provocations} August 13, 2010 at 7:02 am

HI Jonathan,
Now this is so my way of thinking :)
Focusing on the positive and being appreciative has become my life-hence my blog :)
But that said, I feel that its our inherent nature to be positive and appreciative, life just throws so many curve-balls at us that we start to function like those curve-balls-negatively, without even realizing it.
The realization and practice of appreciating even the smallest pimple you get ;) , can so truly make life all magical and awesome…Dont you think? You become a catalyst of positivity through and through. Like attracts like!
By the way, I love love love this article. Its like you are in my head :)
Thank you thank you for sharing these awesome thoughts.
Lots of love,
Z~
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last amazing blog post ..What is in Your Happiness ChecklistMy ComLuv Profile

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4 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 13, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Greetings Zeenat, when our circumstances are not overly stressful it can be “our inherent nature to be positive and appreciative.” But stress has a way of changing peoples nature. In fact they now think that 90% of all illness is stress related.

So maintaining a positive and appreciative mindset while dealing with massive amounts of stress can be extremely challenging, even for people with a positive nature. That’s one of the reasons why we need to make a conscious effort in this area. Our entire outlook on life actually hinges on it.

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5 The Millionaire Mind August 13, 2010 at 10:57 am

Hello JONATHAN, thank you for this post on reminding us of the power of the mindset. That is exactly what we teach at our courses at Peak Potentials. Those questions were great reminders of how to discover self awareness aspects of ourselves which was very helpful. Thank you again, cheers
The Millionaire Mind´s last amazing blog post ..Tough Economy WhoMy ComLuv Profile

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6 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 13, 2010 at 4:46 pm

I love the way properly constructed questions can easily and painlessly move our minds in empowering directions.

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7 Sandra Lee August 14, 2010 at 12:30 am

Jonathan, I really like the three points under changing your orientation and the five under using questions.

I agree that there is merit in surrounding yourself with positive people. But someone needs to befriend people with negative attitudes too. :) It seems a question of balance. No one is negative on purpose, it’s just a very long bad habit in my eyes.
Sandra Lee´s last amazing blog post ..7 link challenge plusMy ComLuv Profile

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8 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Hi Sandra, I don’t mind limited association with people who have some mild negative tendencies. It’s a opportunity to spread a little sunshine. But there are those who are determined to point out what’s wrong with everything. I figure they can form their own little vortex.

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9 Chris August 14, 2010 at 6:36 am

Appreciation is one of the most powerful forces out there. I love your suggestion of using questions to keep a proper focus! I’ve often found that when we ask better questions… we get better results.

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10 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 15, 2010 at 8:16 pm

Totally agree on all points Chris. Raising the level of our questions can completely change our perspective in powerful ways.

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11 Chris Akins August 14, 2010 at 2:11 pm

Jonathan,
This is a relevant and timely article! I was having a bit of a pity party on the phone with a good friend of mine, and he just started laughing! A little offended, I asked what he was laughing at !? This was serious! He reminded me that:
1. I am one of the few people around right now who is truly financially stable.
2. I have a beautiful wife and 14 month old daughter who adore me.
3. Although I am not yet a licensed psychologist, I was able to get into an APA accredited PhD program, and am working towards my ambition of becoming one, and being in a profession that I am passionate about.

And he went on a little more, then told me as only a roommate from the Naval Academy could, that I was being an idiot, and I should read my own blog…

Its easy to become overwhelmed by events and get into a negative pattern of thinking. Its great to have friends and family to support you and remind you of the things you should be grateful for.

Chris
Chris Akins´s last amazing blog post ..10 easy ways to go greenMy ComLuv Profile

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12 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 15, 2010 at 8:21 pm

What a great, lesson packed story Chris. Thanks for being open enough to share it with all of us. It’s funny how focusing on our problems narrows our perspective. That’s a true friend you’ve go there.

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13 Marion August 15, 2010 at 12:45 am

Hi Jonathan

I will come from a positive place as often as I can. You make a good point about adopting the perspective of the majority.
I find it uncomfortable in a group when the general consensus is doom and gloom. I feel myself sinking. I still find it amazing to see how the negativity of others can been passed on so easily.
Marion´s last amazing blog post ..Feeling Confident – How to Boost Confidence with a BubbleMy ComLuv Profile

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14 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 15, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Hi Marion. we have an individual consciousness, but when we are around a group there is also a community consciousness that exerts a strong influence. The nice thing is that it can exert a positive influence if the group is predominately upbeat. That’s one of the ways we can help ourselves stay mostly positive, choose the right influence.

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15 Stephen - Rat Race Trap August 15, 2010 at 6:01 am

Jonathan, this is not something that comes naturally to me so I have to work at it and remind myself to look for something positive.

In any situation things are what they are and you have two choices. Focus on the negative and feel bad or focus on the positive and feel good. Why would you want to choose to feel bad?

There is one thing you can almost always count for a positive in any situation and that is to treat it as a learning experience.
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last amazing blog post ..Choosing Real FreedomMy ComLuv Profile

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16 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills August 15, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Hi Stephen, it would probably be a more natural state in a lower stress, more easy going environment. One of the main problems is that stress taxes our resources and frustration eats at our positive outlook. This is why controlling stress levels is absolutely vital when you have a lot of demands on you. We need to balance it with relaxing or enjoyable activities to maintain balance. I bet it was easy to generate massive appreciation when you were vacationing in Colorado.

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