Are You Challenged or Disabled?

by Jonathan on July 16, 2008

I just finished reading a post on Jonathan Fields blog – Awake at the Wheel, which said that 52% of Americans would rather be dead than disabled. 

When you think of disabled – what do you think of? 

Most of us immediately think of those who are physically disabled because that is usually how the term is applied.  I went to the dictionary to find a definition for “disabled” and I was surprised that the first definition was handicapped.  Next I looked up the term handicapped and it listed disabled as one of its definitions. 

Looking a little deeper I also found the definition “disadvantaged” applied to both of these terms.  I also discovered that the dictionary did not restrict these terms to physical challenges but also to mental challenges. 

In my mind there is a huge difference between disabled and disadvantaged. 

Let’s face it, there are numerous areas in which we can be challenged or handicapped. In fact if you think about it, isn’t it true that we are all somewhat handicapped either physically, mentally, emotionally or socially? 

Sometimes we apply the term dysfunctional to relationships, as in the expression “they come from a dysfunctional family.”  In this case we could say that the social dynamic of the family is severally handicapped. 

So let’s get to the point of this article.  Handicapped means challenged and we are all challenged in one way or another.  Being physically handicapped is a challenge that others can see.  Being mentally, emotionally or socially handicapped may not be so obvious, but it can be equally disabling. 

I have a friend named John who is an incredible athlete. Running, bicycling, hiking, weight lifting and just about any sport you can think of, John’s into it.  Sadly, due to circumstances beyond his control John recently had to have the lower third of one of his legs amputated.

What would you do if you were in John’s situation?  Would you be among that 52% that would rather be dead?  Would you consider losing part of one in your legs as a disability or a handicap?  Would you consider yourself to be dysfunctional or challenged? Think about that for a minute. Try to put yourself in John’s shoes, so to speak. 

Life is full of challenges.  It’s up to you whether or not those challenges become disabilities.  Nothing has any value except what we assign it.  If we decide that our challenges our insurmountable then they become our disabilities.  On the other hand, if we view our challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, then our challenges actually contribute to our personal development. 

How did John decide to deal with this situation? 

Less than a year after his amputation John successfully ran the Monterey Marathon, all 26 miles of it.  Last time I saw John we barely had time to speak, why?  Because he was so involved in a volleyball game that I did not want to break his concentration.  John was an athlete before his amputation and he’s still an athlete today. He did not allow himself to become a victim of his circumstances.

What can we learn from John’s example? 

No matter what challenges we face in life, the meaning of those challenges is always our choice.  With the right mindset we can overcome any hurdle, rise to any set of circumstances and conquer any challenges. 

We can all learn the life skills that will empower us to overcome any physical, mental, emotional or social obstacles that we encounter. Remember, it’s not what happens to you that’s important in the long run – it’s how you decide to deal with it.  You do not need to be the victim of your circumstances. 

Never allow your challenges to become your disabilities, choose personal growth instead. Make the choice to allow yourself to become the architect of your own life and the designer of your own destiny. 

“Within each of us lies the power of our consent to health and sickness, to riches and poverty, to freedom and to slavery. It is we who control these, and not another.” -Richard Bach

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Rachel July 16, 2008 at 9:47 pm

I was born with a visual impairment. My sight issues have rarely limited me, any limitations I have had were mostly self imposed.

I have a Masters degree in Fine Arts from the University of Michigan. I was the first legally blind, visual artist to graduate with a masters from that university.

At times I have used my “disability” to not live up to my fullest potential. At other times I have over compensated for my sight issues and not received appropriate help when I needed it.

What I find most interesting is I AM NOT ALONE. You don’t have to have a obvious disability to have areas in your life where you have been disabled. Each of us have used coping skills because we didn’t have other more appropriate tools at our disposal.

A disability is not something that happens TO YOU it’s something that you do to yourself. There’s really only disabled thinking.

Rachels last blog post..Disaboom Survey Reveals 52 Percent of Americans Would Rather be Dead Than Disabled

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2 Mark Lewis May 27, 2009 at 11:57 am

I’m a severely disabled quadriplegic (C5) and I can’t imagine choosing death over life. The single most important thing to remember when dealing with a disability is learn to adapt. In our attempts to adapt its also important to take on our challenges with a different/new perspective.

Unfortunately, my limitations are not self-imposed. I know I’m disabled but I choose to view my life as a challenge. There are some things that I can’t do or they are simply not practical. However, there is so much that I CAN do. For instant, I don’t get up every morning and tell myself I’m going to walk today; I get up every morning telling myself I’m going to live today.

Mark Lewiss last blog post..Getting the Unexpected

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3 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills May 27, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Hi Mark, and thanks for joining the conversation. I truly appreciate your attitude and you spirit. I also enjoy reading your blog. In fact, I want to encourage everyone to read this inspiring article Mark wrote called Sail Through Adversity.
Twitter: mrjWells

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4 Frank J June 13, 2009 at 4:26 pm

A fantastic and motivation story that will really make you feel very fortunate.
Frank J´s last blog ..Tech Humor On Yahoo Answers My ComLuv Profile
Twitter: techjaws

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5 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills June 13, 2009 at 5:33 pm

Thanks Frank, there is a lot of value in the way accounts like this help adjust our perspective. Truth is, we are very fortunate and it’s good to be reminded of that sometimes.
Twitter: mrjWells

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6 Marelisa June 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Dan Gilbert talks in “Stumbling on Happiness” about how we’re really bad at predicting how future events will impact our life. People tend to think that negative events–such as divorce, an accident, or losing a job–will be devastating, and that positive events such as winning the lottery would bring large and sustained increases in happiness. However, people are wrong in both accounts. We’re much more resilient than we think so we can deal with negative events much better than we give ourselves credit for. Also, even after great things happen to us we tend to go right back to our “set” point of happiness.

Your friend John sounds like a great person to know.

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7 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills June 13, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Hi Marelisa, thanks for joining the conversation. You made several excellent points. Most people are unaware of the fact that we have both physical and emotional set points. After a disruption of any kind, we tend to revert to whatever state or condition was previously considered as normal. Thankfully, with some effort we can establish new set points if we feel the need. Once established, they become our new “norm.”
Twitter: mrjWells

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8 Bunnygotblog June 13, 2009 at 5:50 pm

Great article Jonathan -
Thank you for bring it to my attention. This very moving and I must say I appreciate all I have and all who have over come disabilities.
Thank you again
Bunnygotblog´s last blog ..A Great Woman: Rita Levi-Montalcini My ComLuv Profile

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9 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills June 13, 2009 at 6:02 pm

Hi Bunny, I am glad you liked it. I think it’s wonderful how we get inspired when we see how others have overcome, or dealt with, very challenging situations. When channeled in a positive direction, the human spirit is an awesome force.
Twitter: mrjWells

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10 Stephen - Rat Race Trap June 14, 2009 at 2:42 am

“I just finished reading a post on Jonathan Fields blog – Awake at the Wheel, which said that 52% of Americans would rather be dead than disabled. ”

I published this article on my blog a while back. I believe I have read that after 6 months or 1 year after an accident, people who have been permanently injured are just as happy as they were before and that they are just as happy as non-injured people.

Another way to look at all of this is to just accept what is. I can’t fly so does that mean I’m disabled? I can’t run 100 mph so I’m a disabled? I’m not as smart as some other people I know so am I disabled? I jump as high as some other people, etc.

You work with what you’ve got. That’s life. That’s just the way it is.
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Are You Addicted to Speed? My ComLuv Profile

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11 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills June 14, 2009 at 7:22 am

Hi Stephen, it’s true that all of us learn to work with what we’ve got. Some limitations have always been with us and so, for example, being unable to fly is not really a challenge. We never had that ability and neither does anyone else.

The real challenge arises when we lose abilities that we once had, as in Mark’s case (comment #2), or we are born without something that most people have, as in Rachel’s case (comment #1). Loss challenges us on almost every level and that’s when strength of character really comes into play.
Twitter: mrjWells

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12 Robin Easton June 15, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Hi Jonathan, this is very thoughtful and encourages us to think deeply, to tap into hitherto untouched reserves of inner strength. Having climbed out of several very deep holes in my life (where I had to fight for my life) I can say that the loss of a limb would be a devastating blow but I would force myself to go on, and not JUST go on, but go on until I became whole again in spirit. I don’t say this lightly, I say it from a place of knowing the various odds I’ve faced at times of my life. It would take a bit of time, but eventually I would find my focus again and move toward it one day at a time. I would find the thing or things that gave me hope, that inspire passion in me and excitement, the desire to dream, the courage to not just live, but to live fully and with great joy. There are extremes of loss that would seem almost impossible to over come, but I pray that I would.

My husband does an exercise in one of his classes where the students have to strap one arm to their body and go an entire 24 hour period without being able to use it. It makes people think, value what they had and develop compassion, etc. Thank you for such a touching post. I highly value it and you.
Robin Easton´s last blog ..What Forced You into Awareness? My ComLuv Profile

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13 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills June 15, 2009 at 8:59 pm

Hi Robin, your husbands exercise reminds me of a similar approach by another teacher. He would assign pairs of students to go to public places like a mall. One would sit in a wheelchair and the other would push. After several hours they would trade places. His students quickly gained a new perspective on life. They got to experience first hand the way other people reacted to them. It was a awakening, to say the least.
Twitter: mrjWells

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14 kate smedley June 15, 2009 at 10:55 pm

Thanks for an excellent article on disability and our perception of what disability actually is, you have given us all much food for thought. I also love the quote by Richard Bach. Your friend John is an inspiration to us all.

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15 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills June 16, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Thanks Kate, I am so glad you liked it. He has definitely been an inspiration to me and I love to share stories that inspire. Thanks for joining the conversation.
Twitter: mrjWells

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