A key Ingredient of True Happiness

by Jonathan on January 28, 2009

happinessHave you ever noticed how much easier it is to be kind and loving in favorable situations? But, how many times have you reacted in a not so loving way when you were caught off guard?

You know what I mean, a challenging day; too much of everything aimed straight at you. Then it happens, someone says or does the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time, and you rediscover a side of yourself that you thought was long gone.

Maybe it wasn’t even obvious to those around you. It might have been just a feeling you had, or an unkind thought. However it managed to manifest itself, one thing is certain, it didn’t feel good. Such experiences can also leave us feeling a little disappointed with ourselves.

Stress has a way of sneaking in unnoticed sometimes. It can sit there gathering strength and we won’t have a clue, until the wrong button gets pushed.

Hey, we’re all human and life does have its challenges.

But what if we could find a way to sustain a positive, loving attitude even under trying circumstances? Would that make a sizable contribution to our overall happiness level? How pleased would we feel with ourselves if the people or situations that used to get under our skin didn’t bother us any more?

The fact is, when we allow ourselves to manifest negative feeling it disrupts our sense of peace and harmony. It’s pretty hard to be upset and feel happy at the same time. So really, it’s to our personal benefit to find ways of cultivating a kind and loving attitude as much as possible.

Here’s how it works.

Being kind and loving comes from being in a positive and generous state. Feeling positive and generous is the same as being in a state of abundance, and feeling abundant makes us happy. So our personal sense of happiness is directly related to how we feel toward others. Abundance is also a state of resourcefulness, and when we are resourceful we are in a much better position to deal with challenges.

But how can we get to the point where we feel that way?

We are all human and life has its moments, but let’s look at how choice is involved. Let’s start with someone way down near the bottom on our list of favorite people. Maybe it’s someone who just bugs us for some reason? Can we love them? Nobody said we have to love what they do or what they say. The question is, can we love them as a fellow human being?

Why do we have to love them?

Remember, it’s the smart thing to do. Our sense of happiness is directly involved. Are you thinking, okay, I can be positive, but no way can I love them?

See what that was? It was a conscious decision to be non loving, to harbor non loving feelings. Wasn’t it? It was also a decision to be negative rather than positive, it was a choice!

It was a choice to be limited instead of empowered.

When we make decision like that, we might think we are only projecting negative energy toward that one person. But where does that negative energy originate?

If it comes from us, then the negative energy is in us. It lives in the person who is saying or thinking non loving things. When we express non loving feelings toward anyone or anything, our mind somehow thinks we are giving them exactly what they deserve. That means that we are judging them. Not just their actions, but we are judging them as a person.

When we discriminate and judge, we actually undermine our own humanity. The key to avoiding this tendency is to disassociate the human being from the course of action. Disapproving of their actions is one thing, judging them as a person is another.

Ask yourself this:

Have I ever benefited from being non loving?

Negativity is only destructive and limiting, nothing good can come from it. Why would we ever choose it over empowerment and abundance? Remember, we always have a choice.

We can’t have it both ways. If we want to be happy, we cannot be loving toward those people we think deserve it, and hateful toward those we have judged otherwise. Doing so only leads to feeling joyful sometimes, and feeling miserable or angry much of the time?

Don’t let yourself fall into that trap. Make a choice to be happy, make the loving choice.

Related Articles:

Can You Allow Appreciation to Change Your Life?
How Do Appreciation and Gratitude Affect Your Life?
Setbacks, Generosity, and Gratitude

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Leisa Watkins February 7, 2009 at 12:27 pm

It truly does amazes me how difficult it is for many people to separate the value of a person from the actions. You are so right, that inability only leads to unhappiness. Another fantastic article.

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