7 Vital Connections Making Up Your True Self

true self connections

We have all heard the saying: “It’s not what you know that matters, it’s who you know!” Would you be surprised if I said that the most important application of this principle is also the most overlooked?

We all realize that social connections can put you in touch with the “right people” and that certain business connections can open up amazing career possibilities. We also know that meaningful relationships of all kinds require a close “personal” connection.

What connections are being overlooked?

The most important connections have nothing to do with other people. Not on any level. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that these external connections don’t matter because they certainly do.

What I am saying is that there is a much more personal category of connections that will have a much greater influence on your life. These are connections that you simply can’t afford to overlook. The reason is because this “personal category” actually forms the basis for everything else. It is essentially the foundation that your perception of life is built on!

Build from the ground up

Every building sits on a foundation. If the foundation is solid the integrity of the building is greatly enhanced. If the foundation is faulty it doesn’t matter how much time, effort, or money goes into the building. That building will always be lacking in integrity.

The same can be said of the life we build for ourselves. Without a solid foundation we will never really achieve the quality of life we long for. We will always be susceptible to foundational vulnerabilities like self-sabotaging behaviors and emotional insecurities.

What makes a strong foundation?

Our personal foundation is composed of several interconnected components.  These are the connections that determine whether or not our foundation has the integrity to support a high quality life.

If the primary components of our personal foundation are not fully integrated, our life will be vulnerable to collapse. I have identified 7 of these components and I refer to the combination of all 7 as True Self. Let’s take a closer look.

7 Vital Connections making up your True Self

1. The Core Connection. This is where it all begins. The core connection side of your true self is made up of your deeply held values, passions, beliefs, and response patterns. This is the place where your paradigms of pain and pleasure are born and reside. When analyzing our personal perspective of life, this is the very core.

2. The Motive Connection. This is the home of your reasons for doing the things you do. It’s your personal WHY behind your thoughts and actions. Motive is also closely related to your personal definition of complicated concepts like success and failure. Motive is the why part of your true self.

3. The Vision Connection. We all have mental movies of where we are and where we would like to be. Our vision of things like goals and obstacles are highly personalized because we create them based on our unique vantage point. Vision is the driver of our true self.

4. The Path Connection. The course we choose to walk will have a powerful influence on where we end up. This is the journey aspect of our true self. How well thought out that path is should be a matter of primary concern to everyone. Not only do you get to choose your path, but you also assume responsibility for where it leads you.

5. The Power Connection. This has to do with how well we are able to manage several personal resources like focus, motivation, self-talk, and commitment. It also has to do with how much we allow the opposing forces of fear and eager anticipation to influence us. Combined, these resources determine the horse power behind our true self.

6. The Identity Connection. How do you see yourself and your abilities? Are you capable or incapable? Do you approve of yourself or disapprove? Are you comfortable with the idea of success on a personal level, or do you feel undeserving? What does  your true self  identify with?

7. The Fulfillment Connection. This is the satisfaction side of our true self. Many people never feel any real sense of satisfaction with regard to their accomplishments regardless of how impressive those accomplishments might be. This is usually an indicator that something is missing. Accomplishment without contribution is unfulfilling!

Work on the foundation first

As it turns out, what we know is just as important as who we know. Knowing how to examine your personal foundation can help you to understand yourself with much greater clarity. In turn, knowing yourself better can lead to making wiser decisions about the direction of your life.

In a world with so many choices and so many pressures, can any of us afford to ignore these foundational connections? Obviously not, but the next logical question is: how would we go about examining these vital connections and where would we start? On the surface this might seem like a daunting task, but maybe it’s not really all that difficult. Maybe there is a way to simplify the whole process. If there is, would you be interested?

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Find Your TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way I know of to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core standards and personal values? Would you like to make a deeper connection with your real self? Find Your TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.


  1. Lance October 15, 2010 Reply

    Very much looking forward to what you have coming!! True Self…what a great place to “be”…

    • Jonathan October 15, 2010 Reply

      Thanks Lance, I am pretty excited about it.

  2. Zeenat October 15, 2010 Reply

    Jonathan this is awesome!
    More so cause i just started a series of articles on Knowing your true self …like minds hmm.
    But your book is already a bestseller. Anything coming form you is bound to be full of love, wisdom and perfect advice.
    The 7 vital connections sound very interesting and very apt.
    Lots of love and positive energy fro this venture.
    So Much love,

    • Jonathan October 15, 2010 Reply

      Hi Zeenat, thank you so much for your kind words and generous support. This video is really just a teaser and I will be pulling back the curtain slowly over the next few weeks. All I will say for now is that we are talking about much more than just a book (although publishing a book was a much bigger challenge than I ever imagined).

  3. Clearly Composed October 16, 2010 Reply

    I really enjoyed how you put the components of our foundation into an easy to understand formula to learn from. The internal work is so crucial and you posed some great questions for us to reflect on. Thanks! :)

    • Jonathan October 17, 2010 Reply

      Hi Emma and welcome to Advanced Life Skills. I totally agree that “The internal work is so crucial.” Truly getting to know our self on the deepest levels changes how we experience every aspect of life.

  4. Nea October 16, 2010 Reply

    Hi Jonathan. I love all that you’ve said here about analyzing the true self, looking closely at the foundation that we’re working upon. Each piece of the puzzle is more important than we often realize. Thanks for summing it up in such an amazing way.

    You are doing such wonderful work here. Beautiful. Positive. Inspiring. Keep up the great work.

    • Jonathan October 17, 2010 Reply

      Hi Nea, I can’t thank you enough for all of your support and encouragement. I know I’ve probably said it before, but I really does mean a lot.

  5. Tom Sörhannus October 16, 2010 Reply

    Yes, I would be interested in a way to simplify the process. I liked your newsletter so am curious about what you´re coming up with now.

    • Jonathan October 17, 2010 Reply

      Hi Tom, I am so pleased that you enjoy the newsletter. I’ll be writing more about TRUE SELF over the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned and thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.

  6. Sandra Lee October 16, 2010 Reply


    I loved the way you wrote this article. The whole first part is like a teaser and I kept wondering what is next. The video is terrific – very upbeat. I was so happy to see your book in the video!

    I know this structure of exploring the 7 vital connections will help countless people. Thanks for doing all that you do to help others.

    • Jonathan October 17, 2010 Reply

      Hi Sandra, I know that so many people are feeling disconnected with their own identity these days. Life has gotten so complex and demanding that it is interfering with peoples sense of internal balance. I thought it was time for a simple, progressive strategy for getting back on track.

  7. John Duffield October 17, 2010 Reply

    Hi Jonathan. My response to your article is….”Absolutely”. In fact, with your permission, I’d like to summarize it “my way”. Who you know in life is important, and first you must KNOW THYSELF. ciao. John Duffield

    • Jonathan October 17, 2010 Reply

      Hi John, I think that most people do feel like they do know their self pretty well. It’s interesting what happen though when you apply questions designed to explore a little beyond the surface.

  8. J.D. Meier October 17, 2010 Reply

    Beautiful, holistic view.

    The identity one is tough. Too many folks are rooted in their job and that’s a fleeting proposition.

    • Jonathan October 17, 2010 Reply

      Hi J.D. that’s a good point. We all wear a number of hats as we fulfill our various roles in life. But what we do is not the same as who we are. It may contribute to who we are, but for many the distinction is not very clear.

  9. John Duffield October 18, 2010 Reply

    Hi Jonathan. About those “questions applied to explore beneath the surface” you mentioned. Here’s one your readers might want to ask themselves. Are you DRIVEN to carry out a calling or Life Mission? If the answer is “no”….. you don’t know who you are. Here’s why. Imagine coming upon a seed unknown to science in the woods one day. You have no idea what kind of plant it is. How will you know? It has to come out of its seed-shell and grow. If it doesn’t, nobody will even know what it is. Same holds with us. We must grow our unique potentials to “know thyself”. But men and women can’t just grow any-which-way. Picking ways of making a living off the shelf “to make money and look important” won’t cut it. That might make someone grow alright…..the wrong way. A simple example would be an artist-at-heart becoming a banker to please Mom and Dad. She’s just pretending to be something she’s not. Okay, but here’s the scary part for those who answer “no” to that question above. If you don’t figure out what’s keeping your Life Mission from you and remove it, here’s what can happen. It’s possible to live your full ten score and twenty years and die…..NEVER knowing who you are. That’s called “having big regrets at the end of it all”. Cheers Jonathan. John Duffield

  10. Nancy Shields October 18, 2010 Reply

    I thoroughly enjoyed your article and find it inspiring and so very true. The Core foundations of life! I have started a social networking website for women with an inspirational flair and one of the reasons that I started this site is because I find the interpersonal skills are becoming a dying breed in the age of “cyber space”…. Dr. Wayne Dyer has a great quote, “every person I meet is my greatest teacher”….. thank you for being my great teacher today! I’m excited to read your other blog posts!

  11. "Joe" January 12, 2012 Reply

    Dear Mr Wells,
    First I want to wholeheartedly thank you for your amazing contribution to mankind. I strongly believe your work is synonymous to that of the Dali Lama, Mother Theresa, , Gandhi, and countless compassionate and wise individual devoting their life for very positive human development. I love the format of your work. I really enjoy how your articles are short in length yet containing great depth.(I involuntarily develop ADHD while reading LONG articles) Many of your stories really “gets to my heart”. Your questions provoke me to think deeply about myself and the world.

    Please allow a “brief ” history of myself. My real name is not Joe. I’m 25 years old, male. I have been reading about Personal Development topics for over a year now. Prior to discovering “Personal Development” genre, I’ve never read a single book. Unfortunately, I was abused emotionally/physically for over 3 years in my childhood by my mother. I was bullied, beaten, degraded, belittled ,name-calling, a negativity vacuum and all sorts of the usual abusive patterns. Thus, I became and felt very negative, introverted, abusive, low self esteem, suicidal, worthless, hopeless, untrusting, angry, pessimistic, and all types of negativity there is. I’ve never fully recovered/healed/forgiven/outgrew from the abuse even thought it had happened over a decade ago. I feel like a man-child with emotional difficulties. My emotional challenges is weighing me down so deeply that I’m constantly thinking negative. I want to tackle all my emotional problems so I can be the best person I aspired to be.

    Mr. Wells please enlighten me as I want to be strong, loving, compassionate, empathetic, loving, creative, wise, happy, and all sort of positivity a human-being can be.

    With much respect and love,

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