Comments on: 7 Roadblocks to Personal Development http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/ Strategies for Positive Change Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:29:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Do You have the Courage to be Truly Honest? http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-29284 Do You have the Courage to be Truly Honest? Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:37:19 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-29284 [...] straight. Are there times when you have been less than honest in the past? Having the courage to review your past offenses may cause some discomfort, but recognizing where you have tweaked the truth in the past can help [...] [...] straight. Are there times when you have been less than honest in the past? Having the courage to review your past offenses may cause some discomfort, but recognizing where you have tweaked the truth in the past can help [...]

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-25927 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Wed, 14 Sep 2011 18:04:25 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-25927 Hi Val, at least you are aware of some of these issues and that puts you way ahead of the curve. I have based all of my work on the need to create internal harmony as a first and foundational step for all personal growth. In my book <a href="http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/true-self-amazon/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">TRUE SELF</a> the whole process of creating internal harmony is covered in detail within the first section. There are several written exercises that help anyone discover their core values and passions and then harmonize those with their choices in life. This is the key to eliminating internal conflict once and for all. Hi Val, at least you are aware of some of these issues and that puts you way ahead of the curve. I have based all of my work on the need to create internal harmony as a first and foundational step for all personal growth. In my book TRUE SELF the whole process of creating internal harmony is covered in detail within the first section. There are several written exercises that help anyone discover their core values and passions and then harmonize those with their choices in life. This is the key to eliminating internal conflict once and for all.

]]> By: Val@Holistic MindBody Healing http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-25924 Val@Holistic MindBody Healing Wed, 14 Sep 2011 17:01:25 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-25924 Hi Jonathan, I've been learning to tune into all the ways I go into resistance when going for a goal/personal development. There are so many and they are often so subtle I don't even notice them! Internal conflict is a big one for me. Hi Jonathan,

I’ve been learning to tune into all the ways I go into resistance when going for a goal/personal development. There are so many and they are often so subtle I don’t even notice them! Internal conflict is a big one for me.
Val@Holistic MindBody Healing recently posted..Sep 11, Pain Relief (Groundbreaking F.R.E.E. Event)My Profile

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-25896 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Tue, 13 Sep 2011 20:11:50 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-25896 Hi Cat, first off I am glad that you felt comfortable expressing your personal concerns. As my coaching practice would quickly show, you are not alone. Many have a similar struggle and uncovering the cause can be almost impossible to do alone. We are cause and effect based beings. The trouble is that very often people try to treat the effect instead of the cause. One example would be the current epidemic of depression. They treat it as if it was the cause when in reality, it is the effect of something else. In other words, they should be trying to figure out what is causing the depression. Social anxiety is an effect that can be caused by any number of things. But there is also another aspect to consider. Some people are just hard wired to need more alone time than others (or alone with just one other person). A social person is uncomfortable when they are alone and they feel refreshed when they are surrounded by people. A more solitary person feels refreshed when they are alone and can easily get uncomfortable when surrounded by people. It would be stressful for someone who leans toward the solitary side to try and become a social butterfly simply because they are not wired for it. They can adapt to a degree, but overexposure will cause internal tension. Sound familiar? If you ever want help sorting this out I would be happy to provide assistance. There is a link to my coaching site in the menu bar at the top or bottom of this page. Remember, the goal of personal development is to become the best possible version of ourselves. So getting acquainted with, and comfortable with, our true nature should be where our journey starts. Hi Cat, first off I am glad that you felt comfortable expressing your personal concerns. As my coaching practice would quickly show, you are not alone. Many have a similar struggle and uncovering the cause can be almost impossible to do alone. We are cause and effect based beings. The trouble is that very often people try to treat the effect instead of the cause. One example would be the current epidemic of depression. They treat it as if it was the cause when in reality, it is the effect of something else. In other words, they should be trying to figure out what is causing the depression.

Social anxiety is an effect that can be caused by any number of things. But there is also another aspect to consider. Some people are just hard wired to need more alone time than others (or alone with just one other person). A social person is uncomfortable when they are alone and they feel refreshed when they are surrounded by people. A more solitary person feels refreshed when they are alone and can easily get uncomfortable when surrounded by people. It would be stressful for someone who leans toward the solitary side to try and become a social butterfly simply because they are not wired for it. They can adapt to a degree, but overexposure will cause internal tension. Sound familiar?

If you ever want help sorting this out I would be happy to provide assistance. There is a link to my coaching site in the menu bar at the top or bottom of this page. Remember, the goal of personal development is to become the best possible version of ourselves. So getting acquainted with, and comfortable with, our true nature should be where our journey starts.

]]> By: Cat http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-25895 Cat Tue, 13 Sep 2011 19:32:31 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-25895 Interesting post, but I found it quite a depressing one, and I sometimes wonder if we sometimes just have to face that some things are beyond our capabilities. My main reason for getting into personal development several years ago was to try to overcome lifelong problems with my interpersonal skills--inability to read social cues or respond correctly to them, finding social situations hugely stressful, inability to make friends and the like. And while I've made huge strides on these and have some small social life now, I still can't quite be natural in social situations, and everything I've learned just vanishes the moment I get tired or stressed. I suspect this is some particularly insidious form of self-sabotage, but I find my desire to make friends and connect with people increasingly frequently at war with a far more urgent one for everyone to just leave me the hell alone. I apologise for venting on your blog. It's just that I've hit a wall, and am truly sick of battering myself against it. Interesting post, but I found it quite a depressing one, and I sometimes wonder if we sometimes just have to face that some things are beyond our capabilities.

My main reason for getting into personal development several years ago was to try to overcome lifelong problems with my interpersonal skills–inability to read social cues or respond correctly to them, finding social situations hugely stressful, inability to make friends and the like. And while I’ve made huge strides on these and have some small social life now, I still can’t quite be natural in social situations, and everything I’ve learned just vanishes the moment I get tired or stressed.

I suspect this is some particularly insidious form of self-sabotage, but I find my desire to make friends and connect with people increasingly frequently at war with a far more urgent one for everyone to just leave me the hell alone.

I apologise for venting on your blog. It’s just that I’ve hit a wall, and am truly sick of battering myself against it.

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-25894 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Tue, 13 Sep 2011 19:22:39 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-25894 Congratulations Jt you have made change your friend and the inevitable result is that life becomes more than a journey. When we embrace change life becomes an adventure and fear of the unknown becomes excitement and eager anticipation about what new experience is around the next bend. Congratulations Jt you have made change your friend and the inevitable result is that life becomes more than a journey. When we embrace change life becomes an adventure and fear of the unknown becomes excitement and eager anticipation about what new experience is around the next bend.

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-25893 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Tue, 13 Sep 2011 19:18:22 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-25893 Hi Nancy, it seems that learning to let go is one of the most difficult challenges in life. It represents the difference between control and flow. Rather that rules I embrace the concept of principles and values. If those two are well established they act like a rudder, gently adjusting our direction in a positive way. Hi Nancy, it seems that learning to let go is one of the most difficult challenges in life. It represents the difference between control and flow. Rather that rules I embrace the concept of principles and values. If those two are well established they act like a rudder, gently adjusting our direction in a positive way.

]]> By: Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/7-roadblocks-to-personal-development/comment-page-1/#comment-25892 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Tue, 13 Sep 2011 19:12:49 +0000 http://advancedlifeskills.com/blog/?p=1520#comment-25892 You are so very right Kate, about 90% of my coaching clients have some form of hidden belief that is sabotaging them on some level. It is very rare that they are consciously aware of their hidden saboteur until it surfaces during the coaching process. The good news is, once we identify it, disabling that limiting belief and replacing it with a new empowering belief doesn't take very long and the results can be astounding. You are so very right Kate, about 90% of my coaching clients have some form of hidden belief that is sabotaging them on some level. It is very rare that they are consciously aware of their hidden saboteur until it surfaces during the coaching process. The good news is, once we identify it, disabling that limiting belief and replacing it with a new empowering belief doesn’t take very long and the results can be astounding.

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