Often times, what we don’t do is an important key to our success. For example, you may eat healthy and exercise regularly to stay fit, but if you like to jog on the freeway at rush hour it could easily counteract your fitness routine.

The same principle applies to personal development. We may be focused on gratitude, visualizing our desired outcomes, and taking consistent action in the direction of our goals, but are we doing things that could unknowingly sabotage our efforts?

To help you avoid the danger of hidden, personal development pitfalls I thought it would be advantageous to make a list of some of the more common ones. This list is based on things that can easily escape our notice, but are counterproductive to our personal development. It is essentially a list of attitudes to avoid, gathered together for easy reference. 

Personal development pitfalls you should avoid

You can put a “Don’t” in front of each of these. I was going to do it but found it distracting. Just keep in mind that this is a list of what not to do. Also I highlighted every fifth one just to break things up a bit. So, don’t…

1. Jump to conclusions about other people’s motives.
2. Get caught up in competition. Strive for cooperation.
3. Describe yourself in negative terms.
4. Compare yourself to others to try and validate your results.
5. Violate your personal values or ethics for any reason.
6. Make excuses for telling lies. Just be honest and tactful.
7. Be rude to others regardless of how you feel about them.
8. Invalidate other people’s feelings.
9. Disrespect yourself or others.
10. Forget to be grateful.
11. Talk down to people.
12. Expect the worst or project negative expectations.
13. Speak in blanket generalizations.
14. Dominate conversations.
15. Try to assign blame. It doesn’t matter who’s at fault.
16. Focus on lack.
17. Put yourself or other people down.
18. Indulge in “pity parties.”
19. Think of yourself as smarter than, or better than everyone else.
20. Keep eating just because it tastes good.
21. Always insist on having the last word.
22. Look for other peoples faults. You don’t want them looking for yours.
23. Snivel.
24. Allow negative thoughts to dominate your outlook.
25. Imagine yourself as sick, poor, unworthy, or worthless.
26. Entertain or dwell on inappropriate thoughts or actions.
27. Harbor grudges or think about getting even.
28. Make lame excuses, just take responsibility.
29. Waste time trying to win an argument.
30. Say “I can’t” because you choose not to.
31. Expect TV to make you smarter.
32. Forget to take action every day.
33. Ignore the needs of others.
34. Say yes when you really mean no.
35. Dehumanize members of the opposite sex.
36. Over commit your time, energy, or resources.
37. Allow what you “have to do” to erase what you “want to do.”
38. Let the media or popular opinion make your decisions for you.
39. Buy things you don’t need just because they’re cool.
40. Forget to smile often and sincerely.
41. Stress over things you can’t control or change.
42. Let work dominate your days off.
43. Imagine you will do it someday. Do it now.
44. Expect others to make you feel happy, satisfied, or loved.
45. Tell yourself there isn’t enough time for a healthy lifestyle.
46. Blame your genetics for bad lifestyle choices.
47. Get trapped spending your free time doing things you don’t like.
48. Make decisions because you’re afraid you might miss out on something.
49. Worry over the personal decisions of others.
50. Focus on or talk about problems.
51. Get involved in things that are none of your business.
52. Avoid eye contact.
53. Say “I told you so” when things go bad because your advice was ignored.
54. Follow fads, trends, or allow others to dictate your identity.
55. Pretend that your reality is someone else’s fault.
56. Invent distractions to avoid responsibilities.
57. Shy away from new experiences.
58. Pretend you know something when you don’t.
59. Be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help.
60. Forget to show appreciation to others.
61. Allow your analytical mind to invalidate your intuition.
62. Ignore that little voice in your head.
63. Be too proud to learn from children
64. Worry about social standing, prestige, or popular opinion.
65. Talk yourself out of pursuing your dreams.
66. Think that ignoring a problem will make it go away.
67. Try to convince yourself that the things on this list don’t matter.

Each of us is a project in the works

That means that we will do many of these things from time to time. That’s not the point! The point is that we need to recognize that they are counterproductive and to work at avoiding them as much as possible.

Personal development is not about being perfect. It’s about developing as a person in a desirable direction. When we put forth a consistent effort to become the best possible version of ourselves the results will be undeniable. Development is a process, not an overnight metamorphosis. It’s something that lasts a lifetime.

Avoiding the pitfalls is half the battle

Taking positive steps at self-improvement is a rewarding endeavor. Anyone who chooses this path is to be commended. But never underestimate the importance of what you choose not to do. There is no reason to take one step forward and one step back once we know what to avoid. Personal development happens much easier and faster when we make an effort to avoid the pitfalls.

Do you have a favorite personal development pitfall?
Do the things on this list seem important to you?
The lines are open and your thoughts really do matter!

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