65 Ways to Make Her Feel Special about Your Relationship

make her feel special about your relationship

Do you want that special lady in your life to feel special about your relationship? Trust me when I tell you that small things mean a lot. Over time, it’s easy to forget the little things that contribute so much to a happy and fulfilling relationship.

From time to time, it’s a good idea to look closely at the way we treat our partner and make sure that our actions accurately convey our true feelings about her and how much we value the relationship. Here’s a list of 65 things that should never be overlooked in a relationship. If you think I’m wrong, just ask her!

1. Regularly express to her that you need and value her.
2. Do things that make you laugh together.
3. Compliment her for her special qualities and be specific.
4. Put your arms around her when she needs comfort.
5. Speak respectfully, don’t demean her or hurt her feelings.
6. Give her time to be with her friends.
7. Take regular walks hand-in-hand.
8. Be enthusiastic over things that she’s excited about.
9. Do something you think she wants done before she asks.
10. Discuss changes with her first before you make them.
11. Show interest in the relationship and the things she values.
12. Allow her to teach you things without being defensive.
13. Let go of the small stuff.
14. Be a good listener and value what she says.
15. Get away from the routine to spend time together.
16. Go shopping with her without watching the clock.
17. Make her breakfast and clean up afterward.
18. Set specific relationship goals to achieve together.
19. Act like you are partners in all areas life.
20. Don’t take her for granted, always be polite.
21. Admit your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness.
22. Defend her to others, especially to your family.
23. Don’t belittle her intelligence.
24. Scratch her back, rub her feet, and massage her neck.
25. Be especially helpful when she is not feeling well.
26. When she asks how your day went, give her details.
27. Never argue over money, it will damage your relationship.
28. Don’t embarrass her in front of others.
29. Make eye contact when the two of you are talking.
30. Show that you prefer her company over all others.
31. Give her your full attention whenever possible.
32. When she expresses her feelings listen with your heart.
33. Never flirt with another woman.
34. Brag about her and your relationship to others.
35. Surprise her with a card and flowers.
36. Call her when you know you are going to be late.
37. Give her your undivided attention at least once a day.
38. Never compare her unfavorably with others.
39. Take care of yourself, It shows you care.
40. Be supportive. Help her to achieve her goals.
41. Run errands without complaining.
42. Sit close to her, even when you’re just watching TV.
43. Include her when you make plans.
44. Do things that make her feel cherished as a woman.
45. Build trust into your relationship.
46. Surprise her with a 15+ second kiss.
47. Stay in good of shape so she’s proud to be with you.
48. Be kinder to her than you are to strangers.
49. Make sure she feels valued above everyone else.
50. Continue to court her and date her.
51. Show affection for her in front of friends.
52. Hold her close when she is hurt or discouraged.
53. Surprise her with an unexpected gift.
54. Don’t forget to hold her hand in public.
55. Honor her and support her dignity.
56. Don’t dishonor her by eyeballing other women.
57. Fix dinner for her sometimes.
58. Be sympathetic when she’s feeling down.
59. Don’t ignore the small things that bother her.
60. Do things around the house that she wants done.
61. Tell her and show her that you love her every day.
62. When you’re away call or email often.
63. Show her affection without sexual intentions.
64. Show her affection with sexual intentions.
65. Let her see you reading and applying this list.

A few important relationship reminders to keep in mind

This is not a list of rules and the purpose of this list in not to encourage a one-sided relationship. These are only suggestions for those who truly want to make the lady in their life feel special, but don’t really understand how to accomplish that.

Because a rich and rewarding relationship is a two way street, it’s advantageous if both participants have some understanding of what it takes to satisfy the needs of their partner. That’s why I also wrote 67 Ways to Make Him Feel Super Respected and Get Him to Treat You with More Love and Respect. You see, very often partners want to meet their mates needs but don’t have a clue how life looks from the other persons viewpoint. The purpose of these articles is simply to provide a little insight and perspective into the Mars, Venus syndrome, and to build some appreciation for our somewhat mysterious gender specific differences.

Do you have something to add?
Does she know how important your relationship is?
Be my guest!

If you enjoyed this article consider email updates!

Ladies, want to know how to rewire your man’s brain so he will pay more attention to you and treat you better? You’ll want to read this article.


  1. Helena May 19, 2009 Reply

    That man is welcome into my life any time

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      Hi Helena, I think most women would welcome someone who would show them this kind of appreciation.

  2. Kikolani May 19, 2009 Reply

    This is excellent advice, and the same kinds of things should be done for men as well. I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging, but my husband does all of these things, so no one can really get away with saying that they can’t do those things for their partner.

    ~ Kristi

    • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

      Hi Kristi, I am planning a similar list addressing a mans needs very soon. These are actually the things that loving partners do naturally early in a relationship. The secret is to keep doing them as time passes and the relationship matures. Your husband should read your comment, it will make his day.

      • Maryann March 13, 2013 Reply

        I found the men’s list website this morning after entering, “why do 60 year old men only think of themselves?” I realized that I did and said almost all these things, when my marriage was happy. I have known my husband for 45 years. We have a 41 year old daughter, a 36 year old daughter and a son that is 17 years old! The last 10 years have had difficult situations that, for the first time, we don’t always agree on the solutions. It has built a lot of anger that I can’t get past. I still get excited when I hear his car come in the driveway, and am so afraid that feeling will go away. When I read women’s list, I remembered why I loved my husband so much and how much I missed that part of him. Finding this web site, has given me so much to think about. Thank you

  3. SimplyD May 19, 2009 Reply

    Great timeless advice. My husband and I have been together for 18 years (married for 15) and all of these things are a part of our marriage. Glad to see that you’ll be working on a list for men as well. Nicely done!

    • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

      Hi D, nice to see you here and congratulations to you and your husband, well done!

  4. Very sweet… I dig it. ;-)

    • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

      See friends, Marc knows how to make points with Angel.

  5. Rocket Bunny May 19, 2009 Reply

    This is great, and I can not wait to read the follow up!

  6. Mark Lewis May 19, 2009 Reply

    Great advice, although I’m not sure I agree with the last one! I don’t like it when people, not just your significant other, expect things. It’s just my nature to always surprise because it always seems to mean so much more.

    Looking forward to the follow-up too, which I will let her see me reading ;-)

    • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

      I agree with you Mark. I actually threw that in as a funny. But now Bunny is on me for it, so what can I say? (see her comment below)

  7. Rocket Bunny May 19, 2009 Reply

    The last one is wrong totally.
    if HE doesn’t do it already and has to read this list there is something.
    My guy fits the bill but to those youn’s out there read it and learn.
    Dont let her know you had to learn it from another man. – she will drop you like a hot potato.
    #65 is tabo

    • Omar September 12, 2014 Reply

      Bunny, you should read #59 of the list for men:

      If you expect men to instinctively know what to do to make a woman happy, then you already have failed to respect him for being a man.

      Men and women do feel the same emotions…..just based on DIFFERENT stimuli to the brain stem.
      Besides, I don’t see women reading men’s minds to instinctively know what we want.

      “Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi

  8. Stephen May 19, 2009 Reply

    This is a great list Jonathan. However I don’t agree with this one:

    16. Go shopping with her without watching the clock.

    That’s too much to ask. That’s totally faking it. I don’t watch the clock because I don’t go to start with. I’m also iffy on this one:

    56. Don’t dishonor her by eyeballing other women.

    I think she should be mature enough and your relationship strong enough to not care about harmless natural behavior.

    On the other side of it I absolutely love these:

    13. Let go of the small stuff.
    15. Get away from the routine to spend time together.
    22. Defend her to others, especially to your family.
    45. Build trust into your relationship. (relates to 56)
    46. Surprise her with a 15+ second kiss.
    50. Continue to court her and date her.

    • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

      I know, the shopping one is a lot to ask. As far as the eyeballing goes, it’s very important to consider her feelings on this one. If it is truly not a source of insecurity for her and you are both comfortable with that, then I guess you two have worked it out. But it’s a good idea to make sure. It would be sad to find out somewhere down the road that needless damage had been done to your relationship. Thanks Stephen for joining the conversation.

      • Stephen May 19, 2009 Reply

        I try not to be too obvious, but my wife often points them out to me. She sent me to her dentist because she was so cute she knew I would love her. I’m pretty sure she know I would be eyeballing her. She was right, and she seems to be an excellent dentist as a bonus.

        I know everyone and every relationship is different and I believe there is no rigid formula. People are just too different. I have friends whose wives get pissed just imagining they are looking at someone else even when they are not.

        There’s a “chesty” young traffic woman on a local station in the morning. It’s quite obvious they wardrobe her to “accentuate the positive”. This has become a weird ritual for us in the morning. My wife will call me in from the other room to see what she is wearing that day. It’s actually pretty funny.

        • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

          Do you think she is just totally secure in your faithfulness, or could she be looking for reassuring signals from you? If your reactions are always chaste, she may actually find it comforting. Like you said, the dynamic is different for each relationship.

      • Robin Easton May 26, 2009 Reply

        Jonathan, I think you raise a good point here. I have noticed that a HUGE number of women (many I know) don’t show jealousy because they feel it’s immature and they WANT to be mature, seen as good sensible kind people. So they “stuff down” their feelings and “act” like it doesn’t bother them. Then they go to a close woman friend and confide their pain. They also will say something like, “Well, that’s men. There’s nothing I can do about it.” So they resign themselves to this pain. It doesn’t get discussed, or dealt with. When this happens neither the woman nor her husband grows…and they certainly aren’t in communication with each other. I find this almost more tragic than outright jealousy. There is a middle ground which involves deep honest communication between two people. I also think these assumptions about men are generalities that can debase men. I’ve known many amazing men in my life.

        By the way, my husband is the one who likes shopping (I never really did much) but I go to be with him and over time I’ve grown to like certain aspects of it, and cherish the time with him. We make it fun and I learn more about him. There are very few things that can’t be turned into fun. Also loving is often a selfless act, not a selfish act. And sometimes we do trades and exchanges of time and activities, in that way we both grow.

        • Jonathan May 26, 2009 Reply

          Thank you Robin, you made several excellent points here. I think all of our readers should read the above comments very carefully, the quality of your relationship may depend on it. Thank you for this insight.

      • Rose September 8, 2010 Reply

        You shouldn’t be eyeballing other women. :)

        • Jonathan February 14, 2011 Reply

          Hi Rose, I agree that it can plant seeds of distrust, especially if there is already a sense of insecurity.

      • Amy February 14, 2011 Reply

        Men should never eyeball women when they are with their special lady – she should never feel that she has to compete. She wants to be the apple of your eye.
        It is natural for both women and men to admire the opposite sex, but always make the love of your life feel special and it will be reciprocated. Some man once said “If you treat her like a thoroughbred instead of like a mare, she will always treat you like a stallion”

        • Jonathan February 14, 2011 Reply

          Hi Amy, for most couples trust does not come automatically, it needs to be built into the relationship over time. Many men fail to understand the feelings of insecurity that can be caused by a roving eye, then they wonder why they are not trusted completely.

        • Omar December 19, 2011 Reply

          One way that men and women can understand each other is by understanding the differences in our biology.

          Women actually see better with their peripheral vision than men do. On the other hand, men see better with our tunnel vision.

          Ironically, we know from numerous, scientific studies, that women look at men as often, if not more than men do at women.

          The difference is the way our eyes evolved to work. to ask a man not to look directly (AKA stare) is like asking him to get pregnant this time to share the load.

          If women could respect that most often when men look, it is NOT to ogle at the woman, but to fulfill our instinct to catalog what is in our territory.

          Nothing is more frustrating than to have a woman get upset with me when I am cataloging an UGLY woman. I am doing what I am hard-wired to do.

          Asking a man to stop looking is like asking gravity to stop working so you can fly.

          • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

            Interesting comment Omar, I think most women can tell the difference between looking as in observing, and looking with a desire. If a woman has a hard time discerning one from the other, perhaps the man hasn’t worked to build enough trust into the relationship. Either that or his mouth is saying one thing, but his body language is saying another.

    • Angel June 29, 2014 Reply

      I agree that the list is great and relative to the individual couples.
      I also want Mr. Rat Trap and any other man to let me know if it is okay if the lady eyeballs a man?!! A perfectly “harmless natural behavior”.

  9. Robin Easton May 19, 2009 Reply

    Oh my god, this just moved me to tears. I am profoundly touched by it. I read all of these and felt some deep sense of beauty just in reading it. It is a list made by someone who has done much living, fear facing, letting go, free thinking, courage gathering, growing and sincere self-less genuine loving. I am proud of you and glad you are in the world. I am almost speechless,

    I am also blessed, as my husband is someone who lives this list. We have been able to teach each other and grow together and it is such a gift. Thank you Jonathan for CHOOSING to live, act and be who you are. Because ultimately it is a choice we make. And one that effects the whole world. I am proud of you and all the men who make this choice.

    • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

      Now I am the one who is speechless! Thank you Robin.

    • Vanessa May 10, 2011 Reply

      Robin and Jonathon, certainly have done lots of deep thought about others. Haha I hope I can make the same type of realizations. :P You guys are amazing. Thanks you for the articles and the debate in the comments on this one.

  10. Lea May 19, 2009 Reply

    You did a great job with this list. Wonder if you had help with some of the suggestions (your wife maybe?) as some are things men usually don’t pick up on. Would have been great if my ex would have practiced even half of what you listed. Will be interesting to read your advice for women regarding their special man.

    • Jonathan May 19, 2009 Reply

      Hi Lea, my wife has been very patient with me over the years. I have learned many things because of her help and I am extremely grateful.

  11. kate smedley May 20, 2009 Reply

    Excellent advice, all men should read it!

  12. Matt Clark May 20, 2009 Reply

    Great post, I know if I take a few of the tips my wife will be grateful. Thanks for reminding me to pay attention to the people that count.

    Make it great,

    • Jonathan May 20, 2009 Reply

      Hey Matt, you know how life improves when our wives are happy. In fact, here’s my personal motto: A happy wife is a happy life!

  13. Rickbischoff May 20, 2009 Reply

    GRT! post Jonathan, THNX!
    oh yeah, could you re-post this next February…Ha!

    • Jonathan May 20, 2009 Reply

      Hey Rick, thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation. And yes it will be posted on Friday, right under Friday’s article which is going to be a coordinated effort involving 8 blogs. Be sure to check it out.

  14. Trump Network Marketing May 20, 2009 Reply

    What a great list! I’m going to have to share this with my husband because he often forgets that I’m a woman over all other labels.. It’s nice that you took the time to list these and remind us all that it’s the little things that really show you care. You must have a special woman in your heart who is a very lucky woman! Thanks for sharing!

    • Jonathan May 20, 2009 Reply

      You are absolutely right, I do have a very special lady who’s been my favorite person on earth for over 25 years.

  15. Dragos Roua May 21, 2009 Reply

    Wow, that’s quite the relationship tutorial here. I admit I don’t do all of these as often as I want. And it’s a good thing to have them here whenever I forgot about them :-)

    • Jonathan May 26, 2009 Reply

      Dragos, you must be doing a pretty good job, I met your wife on twitter and she is wearing a nice big happily married smile.

  16. Alex May 27, 2009 Reply

    inspiring stuff.

    not sure if i aggree with number 1. i think one of the biggest gifts you can give her is to not need her, appreciate but not need. needing her implies that you’re not complete already and that you feel she can complete you. or maybe just neediness in general gives me the heebie-sheebies.

    i really like number 20, taking her for granted has ended many a good thing for me in the past.

    and number 50 too.

    one of my favourite mentalities is to treat every time you’re together like it’s your first date.

    really cool list
    alex – unleash reality

    • Jonathan May 27, 2009 Reply

      Hey Alex, thanks for joining in. It’s true that the word need can be taken several ways and thanks for pointing that out. Certainly, neediness is not an appealing quality.

      In my case, my wife and I have been together for 25 years. We are both complete as individuals and yet we also complete each other on a companionship level. Together we accomplish a whole that is not possible alone. So do I need her to feel complete? After all this time the answer is yes, I absolutely do because together we take complete to a whole new level.

      By the way, I spent some time on your blog, nice job. I am glad you found your way here and I look forward to more interaction. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  17. zach July 14, 2010 Reply

    great advice you got here.
    but so many to do :)

    • Jonathan February 14, 2011 Reply

      Hey Zach, yes, but the rewards of a really good relationship are well worth the effort.

  18. Rose September 8, 2010 Reply

    You did a wonderful job with the list. I have been married 21 years to a wonderful man and he does all on your list. We spent much of our time together.

    More men need to read this list, but sadly i don’t think they would get it.

    • Jonathan September 9, 2010 Reply

      Hi Rose and congratulations on your successful marriage. My wife and I are in a very similar situation and we love it. I know that many men don’t fully grasp the value of this information, and that’s sad. Ironically, those are the same guys who are totally mystified when their relationships fall apart.

  19. Nea June 22, 2011 Reply

    I love this list Jonathan. So many of these lessons are learned the hard way. I really can’t even pick a favorite. Heck, I can’t even pick a dozen favorites because they’re all so great. You’re fantabulous (my new word)!

    • Jonathan June 22, 2011 Reply

      Hi Nea, that’s exactly how I learned many of them, the hard way. Isn’t it nice that life is such a great teacher!

  20. Britney August 23, 2011 Reply

    Wow! Everything thats listed above is how i want my boyfriend to be towards me. It covers every way that he could be towards me to show that he loves me, and that im special. When he ask me ” how can i show you that your special to me and or that i love you”, you would think i would know the answer to that question, but i had no idea untill i read this and i was just shocked about how dead on it was and was excatly want i need from him.

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      Hi Britney, I am really glad you liked it. Next time he asks, just send him to this page. That will give him plenty to think about.

  21. k October 10, 2011 Reply

    How true & sweet…. But it’s hard to find such a person who can fuifil all these for you on this earth. Perhaps in the beginning it happens, but few can last till the end.

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      Very true K, I think the important thing is the effort they make. We all fall short at times, but we can still continue to make improvements.

  22. Rebecca October 30, 2011 Reply

    I love this list, but feel that my partner does not fulfill many of these things, to the extent that I have become really dissatisfied in my relationship – and the issues are usually over the exact things you pointed out – I feel like crying when I read the other list about men’s needs, as I try so hard to do all those things, but it is so hard to keep it up when there doesn’t seem to be any payout. On the men’s list it says it ”will make him want to be a better person”…I am tired of waiting for that to happen! What do you do when these loving gestures are growing more and more difficult and/or one-sided? You referenced the ‘Men are from Mars’ book on the other list, but I find that that writer’s advice all boils down to ”try harder”. I get this petulant, angry feeling that I know is wrong, of “Why ME?!” :P Why must I be the one to always be trying and trying…? Surely there should be some responsibility on the man’s shoulders too, and if there is no desire there to do the things on this list, is there no future for us as a couple?

    Also, what I wouldn’t give for a back rub sometimes! And I give him a back rub every single night, but when I ask for one back, he says he is tired! So then you can see how it is easy for me to think “well, I’ll just stop giving him that attention”….Relationships are so tough!
    Thanks x

    Rebecca, please see my reply after the one Lois left you below.

    • Lois November 15, 2011 Reply

      Rebecca, I know exactly what you mean. I have been one to always try harder but I am at the point of thinking “I’m not sure I have it in me to try any more”. I find myself internalizing things because when I do find myself saying things, it usually doesn’t come out the way I intended. And internalizing leads to anger and lack of communication. It doesn’t help that my husband and I own a business together and we definitely don’t agree on how to run things. We currently have an employee that should have been let go a long time ago and it has made a large impact on employee moral but I can’t fix it. Matter of fact, I would like to sell our business just so I don’t have to deal with it any more. But I can’t give up. I’ve been married now for 26 years and I’m still hopeful for the marriage I long for. I might just have to suggest relationship coaching.

      • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

        Rebecca and Lois, thanks for your candor ladies. There are two facts about relationships that we all need to accept and sometimes that can be difficult.
        1) It takes two to make a relationship work.
        2) It only takes one to ruin a relationship.

        Ladies, you can’t do it all, that is not a relationship. You might consider having your men read the list and your comments. That way they will see exactly how you feel. If knowing your feelings doesn’t wake them up then you need to honest about what that indicates. If it does wake them up then their actions should make that obvious.

        If you try this, please let me know how things turn out.

  23. nea nea November 11, 2011 Reply

    Jonathan, do you think that it is right for a man to bring his female friend around his fiance. He literally picked her up and brought her to the house

    • Jonathan November 11, 2011 Reply

      In my opinion this is not someone you want a binding relationship with. I would say he is either clueless or just plain inconsiderate. If the tables were turned I am sure he would change his story.

  24. Sean November 15, 2011 Reply

    Hello my name is Sean. after overlooking over this list and comments I see for sure a few places where my relationship failed because of my own lack of doing a good chunk of them. I also feel that in order to make someone happy you’ve got to be happy yourself. I’ve been going through depression and seem to beat around the bush about getting help, it’s help or work and bet you guessed which one I chose. Maybe one day I will do this list without having to think about it, but just knowing to do these things. I’m grateful I had that much time with my ex but if I had taken charge I might still be in the relationship.

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      Hi Sean, sometimes the lessons we learn come with a price. Now that you know you’ll be in a much better position to make thing work next time around.

  25. Lois November 15, 2011 Reply

    Men, please don’t forget about hygiene. Shave, brush your teeth, eat slower, wash your hands after going to the bathroom. Please don’t make us become your mother.

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      Hi Lois, wells said. Listen up guys, this is an important point.

  26. Emma November 29, 2011 Reply

    I completely agree with this list! This should be required reading for many men… though I do have to say that women could learn a thing or two from reading this list as well. We need to show just as much concern, attention, and affections as our men do.

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      Well said Emma, it goes both ways.

  27. Melany Willis December 2, 2011 Reply

    I am confused about why the last one is wrong. I think it is commendable for a man to show a willingness to grow and learn. If he is reading this it is because he loves you and wants to do better.

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      Hi Melany, I think you misunderstood the last point. I am encouraging men to let the woman in their life see them reading and applying the points in this list for the exact reasons that you mentioned.

  28. Kim B December 13, 2011 Reply

    leave her little notes my husband of 35 years does this and I love it

  29. Brandon December 21, 2011 Reply

    Hi there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Many thanks

    • Jonathan January 1, 2012 Reply

      To the contrary Brandon, be my guest – share all you like!

  30. dorie January 26, 2012 Reply

    i love your list and certainly believe that if men and women equally followed each list, almost every relationship would be perfect. my feelings are much like that of lois and rebecca. i know the easy answer for some is to just leave the relationship. but i’m not quite ready to take that action.

    unfortunately, i don’t know of many men who treat their wives with this level of honor, love respect and dignity. but too often i find women giving men their all, doing many if not all of the things on the list but not getting much in return.

    i have an important question… but i don’t want to appear immature. my boyfriend of 8 years refuses to be fb friends and it bothers me so much i want to leave him. of course there are other unresolved issues in our relationship but the facebook issue would be a part of the top five reasons i want out. what are your thoughts on this?

    In my opinion, not being fb friends also stating we are (in a relationship) clearly violates numbers, 30, 34, 44, 45, 49, 51, and 59. it seems silly to say, “i’m leaving you because you won’t be my fb friend”. lol… it even seems silly typing it out now. however, i don’t think he truly understands how this one little thing is impacting the stability of our relationship.

    do you have any advice?

    thanks so much!

  31. John January 29, 2012 Reply

    Sounds like a lot of work to me….

  32. laura January 31, 2012 Reply

    It is the small things that create happiness and this is a lovely list and goes both ways. We should learn to honor each other as people.

  33. Levis February 16, 2012 Reply

    After seeing this list I feel upset with myself. Why didn’t I find this list earlier? If I had my best friend would not have left me. Thank you for a great article.

  34. Marcus March 6, 2012 Reply

    This is amazing advice. I want apply this to my relationship with my girlfriend of 7 months but I think it might already be too late. I will try to use these amazing tips to win here back.

  35. reggi April 28, 2012 Reply

    Hi Jonathan,
    I love this list! As well as the one you’ve written for the women. I find that there a couple of items on this list that I would like for the love of my life to improve on. How do I help him know what I feel our relationship is lacking without sounding criticle or unsatisfied? He’s an excellent man and I truly adore him, but I sometimes feel a little less appreciated bc I don’t see him doing these things to make me feel special and appreciated. How do I say to him what I need from him?

  36. david May 16, 2012 Reply

    Saved my 2 years marriage….thanks!

  37. Derek June 11, 2012 Reply

    My wife and I have been together for just over 2 years now and this list absolutely applies in so many ways. The best part of it all is that most of them are so super easy. It’s not like you have to do anything major or go way out of your way to make her feel special.

    I think #2 is especially important. Being able to laugh together makes everything easier.

    We are expecting in February. It will be our first. I can’t wait to be a dad.

    • dlynn March 6, 2013 Reply

      YES there needs to be more men like you in this world and more women outwardly appreciative to receive.

  38. Lindona July 20, 2012 Reply

    I’m 20years old and my girlfriend is 19 years old and I do everything on this list and I promise to go shopping with her all day without caring about the time.

  39. Mary September 26, 2012 Reply

    #66. It’s not about what she’s going to do for you! It’s about serving your spouse.

  40. Nikki October 12, 2012 Reply

    I would add:
    1. Surprise her with a pre-planned date night on occasion.
    And for couples with young children at home:
    1. Take the kids out once in awhile so she can have a day to herself.
    2. Get up with the kids once in awhile so she can sleep in.

  41. Jessica February 27, 2013 Reply

    #65 made me laugh. :)

  42. Mrs. X June 26, 2013 Reply

    Reading this made me cry

  43. John September 27, 2013 Reply

    My wife has just left after 30 years together saying it was all her and not me.

    Now after a year, she has said that I made her feel small. I am still beating myself up over it and looked through this list to see where I went wrong. I couldn’t find anything I wasn’t doing.

    • Jonathan September 27, 2013 Reply

      Hi John, here is one important thing to remember about a relationship: It takes 2 to make it work, but only 1 to destroy it. What that means is this, if you did the very best you could and she left anyway, then in reality there was probably nothing you could have done. If that is the case, then there is no reason to beat yourself up for something you could not control. If she is willing to talk about it, you could ask her to give you specific details about how you “made her feel small.” Explain to her that you want avoid ever doing that again and you would appreciate it if she would help you to see where you went wrong. If her claim is legitimate, she will probably be willing to tell you, if not, she will be very general or uncooperative.

      • John October 9, 2013 Reply

        Thanks Johnathan,

        Though I didn’t see it coming, I think there was a certain amount of inevitability about this. In a lot of ways she has been my daughter all these years, forever wanting to be a stronger and more independent woman. About 6 or 7 years ago she became very reflective and last year finished off a masters degree while both our lads where away at university.

        I think she has reflected, probably overanalyzed, and decided the only way for her to mature is to move away. The masters has given her the confidence and the boys growing up has given her the opportunity to finally do it.

        It is such a loss but as she says, we should be proud of what we achieved together and move on.

  44. dave October 9, 2013 Reply

    22. Defend her to others, especially to your family.

    Can you explain this one?

    • Jonathan October 11, 2013 Reply

      Hi Dave, this would apply anytime someone (family or otherwise) is criticizing her or putting her down. Your speaking up in her defense and refusing to listen to others who want to run her down will clearly demonstrate that she truly is special to you.

  45. John February 16, 2014 Reply

    Been married for 11 yrs. this is the best advice I have found on the Internet! We have a beautiful marriage! Why? Don’t mean to sound “arrogant” I treat her like a queen! I value her more than myself. Lots of men are pigs! No accountability!! Treat her in a way that she values you, and knows she could never afford to lose you! That’s how you develop her into your Queen of the earth! Blessings

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