Do you want that special lady in your life to feel special? Trust me when I tell you that small things mean a lot. Over time, it’s easy to forget the little things that contribute so much to a happy and fulfilling relationship.
From time to time, it’s a good idea to look closely at the way we treat our partner and make sure that our actions accurately convey our true feelings. Here’s a list of 65 things that should never be overlooked. If you think I’m wrong, just ask her!
1. Regularly express to her that you need and value her.
2. Do things that make you laugh together.
3. Compliment her for her special qualities and be specific.
4. Put your arms around her when she needs comfort.
5. Speak respectfully, don’t demean her or hurt her feelings.
6. Give her time to be with her friends.
7. Take regular walks hand-in-hand.
8. Be enthusiastic over things that she’s excited about.
9. Do something you think she wants done before she asks.
10. Discuss changes with her first before you make them.
11. Show interest in the things she values.
12. Allow her to teach you things without being defensive.
13. Let go of the small stuff.
14. Be a good listener and value what she says.
15. Get away from the routine to spend time together.
16. Go shopping with her without watching the clock.
17. Make her breakfast and clean up afterward.
18. Set specific goals to achieve together.
19. Act like you are partners in all areas life.
20. Don’t take her for granted, always be polite.
21. Admit your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness.
22. Defend her to others, especially to your family.
23. Don’t belittle her intelligence.
24. Scratch her back, rub her feet, and massage her neck.
25. Be especially helpful when she is not feeling well.
26. When she asks how your day went, give her details.
26. Never argue over money.
28. Don’t embarrass her in front of others.
29. Make eye contact when the two of you are talking.
30. Show that you prefer her company over all others.
31. Give her your full attention whenever possible.
33. Never flirt with another woman.
34. Brag about her to others.
35. Surprise her with a card and flowers.
36. Call her when you know you are going to be late.
37. Give her your undivided attention when she’s talking.
38. Never compare her unfavorably with others.
39. Take care of yourself, It shows you care.
40. Be supportive. Help her to achieve her goals.
41. Run errands without complaining.
42. Sit close to her, even when you’re just watching TV.
43. Include her when you make plans.
44. Do things that make her feel cherished as a woman.
45. Build trust into your relationship.
46. Surprise her with a 15+ second kiss.
47. Stay in good of shape so she’s proud to be with you.
48. Be kinder to her than you are to strangers.
49. Make sure she feels valued above everyone else.
50. Continue to court her and date her.
51. Show affection for her in front of friends.
52. Hold her close when she is hurt or discouraged.
53. Surprise her with an unexpected gift.
54. Don’t forget to hold her hand in public.
55. Honor her and support her dignity.
56. Don’t dishonor her by eyeballing other women.
57. Fix dinner for her sometimes.
58. Be sympathetic when she’s feeling down.
59. Don’t ignore the small things that bother her.
60. Do things around the house that she wants done.
61. Tell her and show her that you love her every day.
62. When you’re away call or email often.
63. Show her affection without sexual intentions.
64. Show her affection with sexual intentions.
65. Let her see you reading and applying this list.
Do you have something to add?
Be my guest!
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That man is welcome into my life any time
This is excellent advice, and the same kinds of things should be done for men as well. I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging, but my husband does all of these things, so no one can really get away with saying that they can’t do those things for their partner.
~ Kristi
Kikolanis last blog post..Wedding Photos and More at SoulmatesWedding.com
Twitter: kikolani
Hi Kristi, I am planning a similar list addressing a mans needs very soon. These are actually the things that loving partners do naturally early in a relationship. The secret is to keep doing them as time passes and the relationship matures. Your husband should read your comment, it will make his day.
Twitter: mrjWells
Great timeless advice. My husband and I have been together for 18 years (married for 15) and all of these things are a part of our marriage. Glad to see that you’ll be working on a list for men as well. Nicely done!
Hi D, nice to see you here and congratulations to you and your husband, well done!
Twitter: mrjWells
Very sweet… I dig it.
Marc and Angel Hack Lifes last blog post..Who Will Save Your Life?
See friends, Marc knows how to make points with Angel.
Twitter: mrjWells
This is great, and I can not wait to read the follow up!
Cheers
Great advice, although I’m not sure I agree with the last one! I don’t like it when people, not just your significant other, expect things. It’s just my nature to always surprise because it always seems to mean so much more.
Looking forward to the follow-up too, which I will let her see me reading
Mark Lewiss last blog post..Don’t Give to The Beggers
I agree with you Mark. I actually threw that in as a funny. But now Bunny is on me for it, so what can I say? (see her comment below)
Twitter: mrjWells
The last one is wrong totally.
if HE doesn’t do it already and has to read this list there is something.
My guy fits the bill but to those youn’s out there read it and learn.
Dont let her know you had to learn it from another man. – she will drop you like a hot potato.
#65 is tabo
Bunnygotblogs last blog post..Chillin’ Like A Villain
OK, maybe it wasn’t funny! Seemed like it at the time.
Twitter: mrjWells
This is a great list Jonathan. However I don’t agree with this one:
16. Go shopping with her without watching the clock.
That’s too much to ask. That’s totally faking it. I don’t watch the clock because I don’t go to start with. I’m also iffy on this one:
56. Don’t dishonor her by eyeballing other women.
I think she should be mature enough and your relationship strong enough to not care about harmless natural behavior.
On the other side of it I absolutely love these:
13. Let go of the small stuff.
15. Get away from the routine to spend time together.
22. Defend her to others, especially to your family.
45. Build trust into your relationship. (relates to 56)
46. Surprise her with a 15+ second kiss.
50. Continue to court her and date her.
Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..Your Brain on Food and Supplements – GABA
I know, the shopping one is a lot to ask. As far as the eyeballing goes, it’s very important to consider her feelings on this one. If it is truly not a source of insecurity for her and you are both comfortable with that, then I guess you two have worked it out. But it’s a good idea to make sure. It would be sad to find out somewhere down the road that needless damage had been done to your relationship. Thanks Stephen for joining the conversation.
Twitter: mrjWells
I try not to be too obvious, but my wife often points them out to me. She sent me to her dentist because she was so cute she knew I would love her. I’m pretty sure she know I would be eyeballing her. She was right, and she seems to be an excellent dentist as a bonus.
I know everyone and every relationship is different and I believe there is no rigid formula. People are just too different. I have friends whose wives get pissed just imagining they are looking at someone else even when they are not.
There’s a “chesty” young traffic woman on a local station in the morning. It’s quite obvious they wardrobe her to “accentuate the positive”. This has become a weird ritual for us in the morning. My wife will call me in from the other room to see what she is wearing that day. It’s actually pretty funny.
Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..Your Brain on Food and Supplements – GABA
Do you think she is just totally secure in your faithfulness, or could she be looking for reassuring signals from you? If your reactions are always chaste, she may actually find it comforting. Like you said, the dynamic is different for each relationship.
Twitter: mrjWells
Jonathan, I think you raise a good point here. I have noticed that a HUGE number of women (many I know) don’t show jealousy because they feel it’s immature and they WANT to be mature, seen as good sensible kind people. So they “stuff down” their feelings and “act” like it doesn’t bother them. Then they go to a close woman friend and confide their pain. They also will say something like, “Well, that’s men. There’s nothing I can do about it.” So they resign themselves to this pain. It doesn’t get discussed, or dealt with. When this happens neither the woman nor her husband grows…and they certainly aren’t in communication with each other. I find this almost more tragic than outright jealousy. There is a middle ground which involves deep honest communication between two people. I also think these assumptions about men are generalities that can debase men. I’ve known many amazing men in my life.
By the way, my husband is the one who likes shopping (I never really did much) but I go to be with him and over time I’ve grown to like certain aspects of it, and cherish the time with him. We make it fun and I learn more about him. There are very few things that can’t be turned into fun. Also loving is often a selfless act, not a selfish act. And sometimes we do trades and exchanges of time and activities, in that way we both grow.
Robin Eastons last blog post..What Do You Believe Happened?
Thank you Robin, you made several excellent points here. I think all of our readers should read the above comments very carefully, the quality of your relationship my depend on it. Thank you for this insight.
Twitter: mrjWells
Oh my god, this just moved me to tears. I am profoundly touched by it. I read all of these and felt some deep sense of beauty just in reading it. It is a list made by someone who has done much living, fear facing, letting go, free thinking, courage gathering, growing and sincere self-less genuine loving. I am proud of you and glad you are in the world. I am almost speechless,
I am also blessed, as my husband is someone who lives this list. We have been able to teach each other and grow together and it is such a gift. Thank you Jonathan for CHOOSING to live, act and be who you are. Because ultimately it is a choice we make. And one that effects the whole world. I am proud of you and all the men who make this choice.
Robin Eastons last blog post..What Do You Believe Happened?
Now I am the one who is speechless! Thank you Robin.
Twitter: mrjWells
You did a great job with this list. Wonder if you had help with some of the suggestions (your wife maybe?) as some are things men usually don’t pick up on. Would have been great if my ex would have practiced even half of what you listed. Will be interesting to read your advice for women regarding their special man.
Hi Lea, my wife has been very patient with me over the years. I have learned many things because of her help and I am extremely grateful.
Twitter: mrjWells
Excellent advice, all men should read it!
Great post, I know if I take a few of the tips my wife will be grateful. Thanks for reminding me to pay attention to the people that count.
Make it great,
Matt
Hey Matt, you know how life improves when our wives are happy. In fact, here’s my personal motto: A happy wife is a happy life!
Twitter: mrjWells
GRT! post Jonathan, THNX!
oh yeah, could you re-post this next February…Ha!
THNX!
peace-
Twitter: Rickbischoff
Hey Rick, thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation. And yes it will be posted on Friday, right under Friday’s article which is going to be a coordinated effort involving 8 blogs. Be sure to check it out.
Twitter: mrjWells
What a great list! I’m going to have to share this with my husband because he often forgets that I’m a woman over all other labels.. It’s nice that you took the time to list these and remind us all that it’s the little things that really show you care. You must have a special woman in your heart who is a very lucky woman! Thanks for sharing!
You are absolutely right, I do have a very special lady who’s been my favorite person on earth for over 25 years.
Twitter: mrjWells
Wow, that’s quite the relationship tutorial here. I admit I don’t do all of these as often as I want. And it’s a good thing to have them here whenever I forgot about them
Dragos Rouas last blog post..Blogging As A Personal Development Tool
Dragos, you must be doing a pretty good job, I met your wife on twitter and she is wearing a nice big happily married smile.
Twitter: mrjWells
inspiring stuff.
not sure if i aggree with number 1. i think one of the biggest gifts you can give her is to not need her, appreciate but not need. needing her implies that you’re not complete already and that you feel she can complete you. or maybe just neediness in general gives me the heebie-sheebies.
i really like number 20, taking her for granted has ended many a good thing for me in the past.
and number 50 too.
one of my favourite mentalities is to treat every time you’re together like it’s your first date.
really cool list
alex – unleash reality
Hey Alex, thanks for joining in. It’s true that the word need can be taken several ways and thanks for pointing that out. Certainly, neediness is not an appealing quality.
In my case, my wife and I have been together for 25 years. We are both complete as individuals and yet we also complete each other on a companionship level. Together we accomplish a whole that is not possible alone. So do I need her to feel complete? After all this time the answer is yes, I absolutely do because together we take complete to a whole new level.
By the way, I spent some time on your blog, nice job. I am glad you found your way here and I look forward to more interaction. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Twitter: mrjWells