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3 Simple Questions That Will Change Your Life

September 23rd, 2008 · No Comments

 


I love simple solutions to seemingly complex issues, don’t you? Sometimes we tend to complicate the daylights out of things buy overanalyzing, dissecting and brainstorming. I like simple.
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I was enjoying an insightful article at a wonderful site called
Pick the Brain and couldn’t help but appreciate the way it oozed simplicity.  There were a few points that resonated so well with my own approach that I wanted to share them.
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I believe you will find the following three questions to be extremely valuable as you pursue a life of exceptional quality.
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1. What Else Can This Mean?
As a human being you have developed your own way of looking at things. You see the world through a filter or lens built up and fine-tuned on your beliefs and values. As such you only ever see your own reality, never reality itself.
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It’s taken you years to build up your own filter and because of that you’ll often try and hang on to it for grim death, sometimes in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence.
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It’s not that you’re an unreasonable person because everybody is the same to a greater or lesser degree. Every single person has their own filter and has their own difficulties accepting that they are one of over 6 billion realities.
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You can separate yourself from your automatic repetitive way of thinking though by asking yourself with a genuine sense of curiosity, one simple question.
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“What else can this mean?”
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That one question forces you to look for alternate ways of viewing things.
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Your partner being late for a date may mean he hates you and doesn’t respect you, or it may mean he got stuck in traffic. That headache you’ve had for 2 days may be a tumor the size of a grapefruit, or it may mean you’ve been overdoing the caffeine.  That abuse that your boss just hurled at you may mean you’re a worthless piece of garbage, or it may mean his wife has just left him and he’s taking it out on you.
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Often we don’t know what the reality of the situation is. Think of how many times in your life what seemed like a terrible event turned out to be a huge blessing in the fullness of time. What if we treated everything (within reason) like that and kept asking, “What else can this mean?” “What else can this mean?” “What else can this mean?” until we find an answer that makes us feel good?
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Some people say that’s not realistic. I say what’s realism and if you can set your own, why on earth wouldn’t you want to?
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2. Who Can Help Me?
In terms of setting and achieving goals, too many people get wrapped up in the “How can I do this?” mode of thinking. That can be useful and I know many people have reached their goals by purely taking that approach.
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However, there is an easier and quicker way and that’s to ask yourself, “Who can help me?”
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Whatever it is you want to do, it’s almost certain that somebody has done it before (or at least something very similar). Find out how they accomplished it and model them. Speak to them if possible and learn from their successes and their mistakes. If there is no option to speak directly (always tricky with dead people), read up on them and talk to people that may have known them.
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There’s no need to reinvent the wheel just remember, the quickest route to success is to follow a beaten path.
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3. What Am I Grateful For?
Try and stifle that eye roll and yawn for just one moment. I know the whole attitude of gratitude thing has become more clichéd than a drunken Oscar winners acceptance speech, but there is a reason for that. It’s because it’s incredibly, awesomely, stunningly (insert over the top adjective of your choice here) powerful.
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I once requested a client’s wife to ask her husband at least 10 times a day the question “What are you grateful for?” He was to reply with a different answer every time. “How long should we do it for” she asked me. “For at least 40 years” I replied.
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I was being a bit glib, but not that much because there was a serious message behind what I was saying. If you can’t think of 10 new things each day to be grateful for you’re not looking hard enough because they’re out there.
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The act of searching our minds for things that we’re grateful for is a brilliant state changer. It will improve your mood, make you feel more resourceful and stop any thoughts of self-pity that can lead toward developing a victim mindset creeping in.
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In this increasingly complex and confusing world, these three simple questions truly can change your life for the better. I just love simple and straightforward.
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Today starts the 100 day countdown for 2008. If you haven’t done so, join us by challenging yourself to accomplish something important and finish the year strong. Are You Ready for a Challenge?

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