I love simple solutions to seemingly complex issues, don’t you? So often we seem to complicate the daylights out of things by overanalyzing, dissecting and brainstorming. I gravitate toward simple whenever possible.
Asking yourself the right question is one of the simplest ways to direct your thoughts in a positive direction without jumping through a bunch of mental or emotional hoops. What are the right questions? In particular, those that stimulate your mind to consider new possibilities or interrupt our established response patterns.
Why do questions work so well?
As soon as we ask ourselves a question, our mind immediately begins searching for an answer. Our mind thrives on questions because they provide it with incentive, direction and focus. So the right questions give us a simple way to steer our thought processes in a more empowering direction.
In this way questions can be used as simple tools for changing or broadening your perception of the world around you. I regularly use the following three questions with my coaching clients to lead their thinking away from limiting thought patterns and toward thoughts of new possibilities.
1. What else could this mean? We all assign different meaning to everything in life. The meaning is different for each of us because our beliefs about almost everything are based on our personal interpretation of, and our response to, our unique life experience. These beliefs serve as filters through which we view our world and the people in it.
Because we all have a vested emotional interest in our personal belief system, we are constantly looking for evidence that our beliefs are true and accurate. This emotional investment can cause us to cling to a belief even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
How can we override this emotional security system and open our belief system to new possibilities? Simply asking ourselves “What else could this mean?” will switch off the emotional defenses and allow new possibilities to be considered and explored.
2. Who can help me with this? Human nature seems to be such that we always want to figure everything out ourselves. With most people there is a certain amount of resistance to asking for help or assistance. Apparently this is hardwired into us because even very young children will say “I can do it myself.” Don’t get me wrong, I have a great appreciation for self-sufficiency. But insisting that we must do everything ourselves can also stifle our progress in numerous ways.
Let’s face it, we only have so much time and resources, and no one is good at everything. Whatever it is that we want to do, someone else already knows how to do it. How much time and frustration could we save by getting them to either teach us how to do it, or do it for us?
For example, in the world of entrepreneurs, trying to do everything yourself can create huge delays. The quickest path to success is to stick to doing the things you are good at and have others help you with the rest. In fact, realizing the wisdom of this approach is one of the main reasons why so many people now enlist the services of a life or business coach. Want to achieve your goals quicker and easier? Start by asking yourself “Who else can help me with this?
3. What am I grateful for right now? There is probably no other question that will change your attitude as quickly or dramatically. It doesn’t matter what situation or circumstances you find yourself in, you always have something to be grateful for. Being aware of, and focusing on, your blessings regularly will profoundly alter your perception of reality.
The more you focus on gratitude the more reasons you will find to appreciate your life. As a result, the happier and more content you will be. It’s been said that the happiest people are not the ones who have the best of everything; rather they are the ones who are grateful for everything they have. How many other simple strategies do you know that can make such a claim?
This one is so simple and powerful that you can’t afford not to incorporate into your life daily. Why not stop reading for a moment and prove it by simply asking yourself, “What am I grateful for right now?”
Are you ready to amaze yourself?
As you can plainly see, asking the right questions can produce amazing results. The challenge is that most of the time we fail to take conscious control of the questions we ask ourselves. I encourage you to reverse that trend starting right now. In this increasingly complex and confusing world, these three simple questions truly can change your life.
Do you have a favorite question to add?
Have you used any of these questions with success?
The lines are open!






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What a wonderful post!
I love “what else could this mean?” – that is such a powerful exercise.
Many years ago, I attended a management training seminar with Stephen Covey. He told a story about the power of paradigm shifts to change the way we react to the world. It opened my eyes then and your post reminded me of its importance again.
Thanks!
Hi Ted, there are several ways to initiate a paradigm shift and reposition our perception. Questions are one of the easiest because almost anyone can use them immediately with good results. Simple!
Awesome, and important, post, Jonathan!
The questions we ask ourselves truly are life-shaping. So many people ask the wrong questions in life — Why me? What did I do to deserve this? How will I ever be able to finish it now? (asked with a tone of voice that is in the form of an exasperated complaint, not a true question seeking answers).
The questions you pose here are truly growth-promoting and happiness-inducing questions. As I was reading, I kept thinking about which one I would zero in on in my comment. But each one really is critical. So can’t zero in.
“What else could this mean?” is a powerful way to redirect our thinking away from negative thoughts of pessimism or complaint or any other self-defeating mind-set during challenges and trials in life.
“Who can help me with this?” is just one of those door-opener questions that lays out possibilities we likely wouldn’t consider on our own. There is a collective wisdom so much greater than our own, given our limited life experiences. So to broaden our range of possible solutions to our problems by bringing in a second or third or fourth pair of eyes is so crucial.
“What am I grateful for right now,” like you said, changes our focus and attention away from what we don’t like to what we like, what we appreciate. You are so right to suggest it will change our perception. I believe there is no other single trait more powerfully significant to our happiness than our ability (willingness) to develop more gratitude in our daily experience of living.
Awesome post, Jonathan!
KenWert@MeanttobeHappy recently posted..Random Acts of Wisdom: Wise Comments from Wise Readers
Hi Ken, what a great comment and observations. Your very last sentence was a quotable quote all by itself: I believe there is no other single trait more powerfully significant to our happiness than our ability (willingness) to develop more gratitude in our daily experience of living. That’s personal growth poetry!
Hi Jonathan,
I am a firm believer and advocate that questions open the doors to all one’s opportunities. Many doors are destined to be unopened until the right question comes along. The three that you have posed are certainly “door openers”.
be good to yourself, David
P.S Am @ 30 ‘Stumble upons’ on my latest post as I write…..you’ve got me beat on tweets though
David Stevens recently posted..4 Simple Goal building steps that can be truly Life Changing
Hey David, As a coach I am sure that asking the right questions is a skill you are quite good at. In my coaching practice I think of questions as the keys that unlock the inner person along with their motives, passions, emotional anchors,etc. By the way David, could you point me to your StumbleUpon profile. Looked but did not find.
I just have a “share” button at foot of my blog post
David Stevens recently posted..4 Simple Goal building steps that can be truly Life Changing
Great questions, Jonathan!
In particular the last one ‘where can I be grateful for?’ It has the power to immediately find the positive of the negative, the joy of the sadness, the value of the anger, etc, … Since I’ve started using these question on a regular bases, my life is more balanced.
Thanks for sharing
marc van der Linden recently posted..being positive?
Hi Marc, gratitude is a major game changer, that if for certain.
Brilliant Johnathon,
Yes the questions we ask can make major shifts. What am a grateful for plus what do I appreciate as you say are game changers. I wonder what’s possible is another one I also use.
Suzie Cheel recently posted..Intuitive Heart Day 14: Opening Into The Light
Hi Suzie, I love that one I wonder what’s possible? That is a perfect add, thank you!
Hi Jonathan,
nice article, not only because simple advice as you say can often be the most powerful, but who could resist checking out this article when it’s only 3 questions?
- too many people complicate their lives creating unnecessary stress, worrying about things they can’t change or that might not happen or getting in their own way with their own limiting beliefs.
I couldn’t agree more with your post above – nice work,
best regards,
Alan
Alan | Life’s Too Good recently posted..Introduce Tai-Chi Into Your Life