21 Things Not To Do if You Want to Succeed

by Jonathan

21 Things Not To Do

Did you make a list of things you intend to do in the upcoming months to move you closer to your goals? Have you got your action plan in place so you can keep track of your progress?

That’s a great start, but what about the flip side of that coin? Is it possible that there is another important aspect to successfully accomplishing your goals that you haven’t considered? I think there might be!

The hidden side of success

In addition to keeping track of what we intend to do, I think it is equally important to keep track of what not to do. I know that may seem like an odd suggestion, but knowing what to avoid can save you from wasting your valuable time and energy on worthless pursuits.

Let’s face it, life is becoming increasingly demanding with each passing year. We all have endless requests for our time and energy, and trying to do everything will pretty much derail your ability to do anything well. Let me ask you this…

*How many email lists are you on?
*How many time sensitive opportunities come your way each week?
*How easily are you sidetracked by a never ending flow of small
. . distractions from every conceivable source?

What are you going to do about it?

I have decided to make a list of things not to do because avoiding those time robbing, energy wasting distractions will go a long way toward allowing me to apply myself to the things that really matter.

I believe that tossing out the worthless things that steel your attention and prevent you from being able to focus is an excellent way to free up your inner resources.

This includes physical, emotional, and mental clutter.

It is extremely important to recognize areas where we needlessly expend ourselves emotionally and mentally. The physical time and energy wasters are fairly simple to pinpoint, but the issues that creep into our thoughts and feelings can be much more insidious. By the way, the word insidious comes from a Latin word meaning “ambush,” and refers to that which is slowly and subtly harmful.

Anything that represents an emotional drain takes a toll. If there are situations beyond our sphere of influence that fit into this category, it is in our best interest to eliminate them. The same applies mentally. If we can use our cognitive power to have a positive influence, then it’s probably worth the energy. But if all we can do is endlessly ponder a situation with no way to make a difference, then it is nothing more than a waste of energy.

Just say no!

I put together a list of 21 things that have the potential to complicate my life and yours unnecessarily. They may, or may not apply to you. Hopefully, they will at least provide some food for thought as you examine ways to eliminate physical, emotional and mental clutter from your own life, and embrace a less complicated existence. So here goes…

21 Things to avoid so you can focus on things that matter

1. Over committing your time, energy, or brain power.
2. Saying yes when you want to say no.
3. Allowing your “have to do” list overshadow your “want to do” list.
4. Letting external influences make your decisions for you.
5. Expecting others to make you feel happy, satisfied, or loved.
6. Allowing work to dominate your thoughts or conversation on days off.
7. Thinking that there’s not enough time to eat right, or get some exercise.
8. Spending your free time doing things you don’t want to do.
9. Comparing yourself to others.
10. Stressing over things you can’t control or change.
11. Obsessing over the personal decisions that others make.
12. Getting involved in things that are none of your business.
13. Focusing your conversations or thoughts on problems.
14. Projecting negative expectations.
15. Saying “I told you so” when your advice has been ignored.
16. Letting fads or trends dictate your preferences.
17. Blaming others for your current reality.
18. Buying things you don’t need just because they’re cool.
19. Inventing distractions to avoid responsibilities.
20. Signing up for more free information because you are afraid you might
. . . . miss out on something.
21. Trying to hide from or make excuses for your real feelings.

Do you have something to add to the list?
How important is it to know what to avoid?
The lines are open!

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My book TRUE SELF is the fastest inexpensive way (coaching is the fastest) to make positive life changes very quickly. Do you want to discover your core standards and personal values? Would you like to make a deeper connection with your real self? TRUE SELF will guide you smoothly through the process.

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Tim Brownson

Agreed J, sometimes the conventional wisdom in self development that we always have to aim for what we want than avoid what we don’t want is highly flawed.

Just wanted to say Happy New Year and it was good to get to know you better in 2011!
Tim Brownson recently posted..7 Steps To Your Best Year YetMy Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hi Tim, how nice to have you drop by. Getting to know you has been a pleasure for me also. One thing I am sure of and that is the fact that your coaching clients are in good hands. :)

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David Stevens

Hi Jonathan,
’tis the time to “can the excuses”……hide them away somewhere. To create a Big 2012 you need more Yes’….yes I can do that & you need your Game Plan in place. Thankyou for your wonderful thoughts, Happy New Year and let’s both enjoy a very Big 2012.
be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..11 Must Do’s that you can write on the palm of your hand & will make your 2012 a hitMy Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hi David, I feel some excitement from you moving into a new calendar experience. I love that energy. Let’s make a big splash!

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chris d.

Hi Jonathan

I just came across your blog from another website. You have such an interesting title for a blog, which basically states in three words exactly what I need this coming year.

Some of those 21 should be part of my resolution.
chris d. recently posted..States That Do Not Regulate Massage TherapyMy Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hello Chris and welcome to Advanced Life Skills. I am glad you found this list useful.

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Nea | Self Improvement Saga

What a great list, Jonathan. #6 had been a huge issue for me throughout most of my life, but 2011 was the year that I finally decided to break that pattern. I made a commitment to create balance in my life, to have more fun…and (most importantly) to completely immerse myself in the fun without dragging along my laptop or obsessively thinking about ways that I could be productive if I wasn’t having fun. What a difference it all made! In 2012, I’m determined to enjoy this new perspective even more.

Happy New Year, my friend.
Nea | Self Improvement Saga recently posted..20 Lies to Stop Telling Yourself in 2012 and 20 Truths To Change Your LifeMy Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Good move Nea, I know how hard it can be to not drag work along. It’s an area where a little self-discipline make for a lot more fun. When I am traveling I always take a laptop along, but I have gotten really good at severely limiting the amount of time I spend on it.

I feel like 2012 is going to be big for you Nea. You appear to me to be on the verge of a major growth spurt for Self Improvement Saga.

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Ken Wert

Jonathan, this was an awesome post!

I loved the idea of mental and emotional clutter. So much negativity, grudges, resentments, blame, judgmentalism, nitpickiness and anger getting in the way of too many people too often, subverting plans, derailing goals and propping up needless obstacles along the way.

Thanks for the insight and wisdom, Jonathan!

And have an amazing New Year!
Ken Wert recently posted..6 Obsessions that Will Make you a Better Person in 2012My Profile

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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

Hi Ken, I wanted to say that getting to know you this last year has been a real positive note for me. I truly appreciate your perspective and talent and I look forward to great thing from you in the future.

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Hiten

Really nice list Jonathan. Not comparing yourself to others is an important one for people who stutter. People who stutter do this a lot because of the need to not be inadequate compared to ‘fluent’ people. However, it makes no sense to do so. Everyone is so different already in all kinds of ways. Measures of progress are best made in relation to oneself.

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Julie Gaudet

I am in consensus with #1 – Over committing your time, energy, or brain power. This is one of the areas that I need to continuous work on as saying no to people has always been a hard one for me… but it is a reality that we must embrace.
Julie Gaudet recently posted..New Year Inspiration VideoMy Profile

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