10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

by Jonathan

10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

by John Wesley at PickTheBrain.com

Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Build self confidence

1. Dress Sharp. Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster. One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture. Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial. One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude. When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people. When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front row. In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up. During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out. Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution. Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

How’s your confidence holding up these days?
What challenges have tested your confidence recently?
The Lines are open!

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }


great article Jon, though I would like to add that walking faster doesn’t really make you all that confident in yourself, just makes you look like you are. Also, its a good idea to surround yourself with people who don’t talk you down and encourage and support you in what you do.


Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills

It is true that walking faster doesn’t actually make you a more confident person. However, it does make you feel more confident because it sends powerful “confident” signals to your nervous system. These signals help create a positive feedback loop that will help influence your perception of who you are in a confident way.



Excellent advice: thanks, particularly helpful since I just became unemployed and had already started “rebelling” against learning one more thing for computer skills, realizing I do not want to continue working on a computer in an office. So I’ll need all the self-confidence I can get to embark on a new line of work. I appreciate all the comments: I learn so much more by reading them: thanks, everyone!



These are unique and valuable tips about how to increase your self-confidence. One of the points that you mention about good posture is really important. Your mind and body are connected and the way you hold your body impacts how you feel. When you stand up tall, with your shoulders down and slightly back, your brain perceives this as a confident posture. You will begin to feel more confident as a result. It is one of the fastest and easiest ways to boost your confidence level.

You can also raise your self-confidence by being a good listener. When you are genuinely interested in others and actively listen to them, they feel good about you. They think well of you and they like to have you around. You don’t have to say much to impress them. You just have to listen.

You can also read inspirational stories of people who have achieved success after overcoming major obstacles. This can help you realize that even though you might not be where you want to be right now, with determination, focus, and perseverance, you can achieve success too.


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