10 Ways to Cope When Bad Things Happen

It doesn’t really matter who we are or what we do, from time to time, things go wrong. We can do our best to cover our bases, but sometimes it’s just outside of our control. What’s important is not so much why bad things happen, but how we respond when they do.

Why am I writing about this?

Have you ever had one of those stretches when it’s just one thing after another? Sure you have because it happens to everyone. Well, that’s why I am writing about this because I just went through it. After I tell you about my experience, I want to share some attitude tweaks that can help next time the stuff hits the fan in your life.

Most of us try not to invite challenges (problems) into our lives. When we do have to deal with them, our attitude can definitely influence how we feel about the experience.

It was a normal day until…

I had posted an interview about my book and there was a tremendous amount of interest. Well, that’s a good thing, right? It was gratifying to see thousands of people taking the time to have a closer look. Then someone leaves me a message that the “buy Link” isn’t working. Not exactly what I wanted to hear on that particular day. Doesn’t really sound like a difficult fix, right?

As it happens, I use a very cool software application called DLGuard (download guard) to help prevent online theft. My control panel would only tell me that my files were corrupted and consequently, I couldn’t log on. Long story short, they went into my server and fixed the problem. Evidently, someone had hacked my server and attached some malicious code to the page. So, six hours later the problem was solved.

But wait, what happened to my blog?

You guessed it, the malicious code corrupted my blog theme and left a scrambled mess that I didn’t discover until the next morning. I tried for many hours to do a repair but it wasn’t to be. I finally had to trash it, and then upload and customize a new one.

Well, the whole experience lasted about 24 hours and I have no idea how long the sales link was dysfunctional. This is the second time my site has been hacked and I am told that this kind of thing happens more often than you might think. So we learn from the experience and move on.

Nobody is immune

From heavy equipment operators who get their hydraulic lines slashed, to credit card fraud and natural disasters, sometimes bad things just happen. When they do, it can easily turn your world upside down. The question is, can you get through it without going bonkers?

I have learned some helpful little attitude tweaks that help me in these challenging situations and you may find them useful. Not every point can be applied in every situation, but try to use as many as you can. Here we go…

10 Ways to weather the storm

1. Detach yourself emotionally. Most of the emotions that grow out of negative situations are negative. When you refuse to be engaged emotionally, the situation becomes emotionally neutral. That means that you can deal with it rationally instead of reacting to it emotionally. This also changes how the experience is recorded in your memory and nervous system.

2. Forget about asking why. You can ask why later, for now focus on asking, “how do I meet this challenge?” Your mind loves to solve problems. By asking “how” you are telling your mind that there is a solution to be found. It will immediately go to work looking for the solution. This keeps your focus on creating a positive outcome.

3. Look for the value. There is almost always some value in challenging situations. I learned how to fix my blog theme. If there is a next time I’ll be able to do it in less than an hour. I also learned that DLGuard has excellent customer service. I also took some additional security steps to help lessen the chances of this happening again.

4. Ask for help. We can’t always get ourselves out of a mess. Don’t be afraid to ask those who are more knowledgeable for help or direction. Most of the time they are glad to help or at least point you in the right direction. I am not the most tech savvy guy around, so when I need help, I ask. The willingness of others to lend assistance is heartwarming.

5. Remember, it’s temporary. One way or another, you will get through it. Every situation has a conclusion. Even if it’s not the conclusion you wanted, at least it will be over and you can start from there. If you have to rebuild some aspect of your life, you will probably do it better and faster than you did the last time.

6. As long as you’re at it, upgrade. As it turns out, I was due for an upgrade on my blog theme and my version of DLGuard. Because time was a factor, I couldn’t do those upgrades during the repair, but I am doing them now. So, the end result will put me ahead of where I was. That means I have benefited from the experience.

7. Role play. This is an effective tactic for removing yourself emotionally from a frustrating challenge. Pretend that you have been called in to handle the situation because of you calm and logical demeanor. The person facing the challenge needs someone who is cool and capable, and that’s why you are there.

8. Take rescue remedy. Maybe you’ve never heard of Rescue Remedy, let me tell you this is some good stuff. It’s a flower remedy developed by Dr. Edward Bach. Flower remedies work on a very subtle level to help with a wide array of emotional issues. As you can tell from the name, Rescue Remedy is there to rescue you during periods of emotional stress.

9. Laugh your way through it. Sometimes things get so ridiculous that it’s almost laughable. When that happens, go ahead and laugh. When you laugh at a stressful situation it provides a healthy outlet for your emotions. Laughter is a much better way to release that emotional stress and cope with a challenge than anger is.

10. Don’t take it personal. Sometimes it can feel like you have been singled out to receive more than your share of hardships. Everybody faces more than enough challenges. The universe has not conspired against you. To my knowledge, I haven’t done anything to provoke a hacker to attack my site and whoever did it probably has no idea who I am. Sometimes bad stuff just happens. Taking things personally just leads to excuses and blame and a whole host of other worthless thoughts and emotions. Don’t even go there, just learn to cope with it and move on.

Learning to roll with the punches

I wish I could say that at some point in your personal development bad things will never happen again. That would be nice, but I like to keep it real. How you cope with the challenges we face says a lot about our emotional maturity and true nature. Learning a few simple coping skills can go a long way toward improving the quality of this journey we call life.

How do you cope with your challenges?
Do you have a favorite coping skill?
The lines are open!

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