To have a really happy marriage, you need to work at it. As the saying goes, the only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
Here are ten things you can do to help build a strong and happy marriage.
1. Build trust into your marriage. It takes effort to built a happy marriage succeed. So, be determined not to flirt or get too close with members of the opposite sex. If you do, in the back of your mind, you could begin to view someone else as an alternatives when your marriage goes through a rough patch. Having an alternative will weaken your resolve to make your marriage work. Trust is the foundation of a happy marriage and it’s something you need to work at.
2. Show respect by paying attention. Listen to your spouse when he or she talks to you. Mutual respect is vital for a happy marriage. When you give your mate your undivided attention it shows that you respect them and value what they have to say. If your spouse talks to you when you’re in the middle of something important, explain that you want to hear what they have to say and suggest a time when you’ll be able to pay better attention.
3. Do fun things together. Find thing that you enjoy doing together and then make time to do them. Exercise together, go on walks, or take on mutually enjoyable projects together. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you both have fun doing it. Spending time together enjoying each other’s company will strengthen your happy marriage and add another meaningful dimension to your relationship.
4. Learn from your experiences. Figure out when to do, or not do, certain things. For example, if you find that you tend to be tense and cranky when you’re hungry, minimize your conversation with your spouse during those times. Similarly, if you see that your spouse gets worked up whenever you mention the name of a certain person, don’t mention that person’s name unless absolutely necessary. Build a happy marriage by being smart enough to learn from the past.
5. Be polite to your mate. When speaking with with your partner, use phrases like please and thank you. Being polite should not be viewed as a formality. It is a way that we honor our mate and it helps them to feel appreciated and respected. Being courteous is like the oil that helps a happy marriage run smoothly and reduces unnecessary friction. If you can be polite to a stranger, then it should be even more important to be polite to your marriage mate.
6. Never say “I told you so.” Strike the phrase “I told you so” from your vocabulary. They already know that you told them so, why rub it in? Saying so only creates ill will between you and your spouse. We all mess up from time to time. And when we do having it rubbed in our face doesn’t help. A little support and encouragement will do a lot more toward building a happy marriage than taking a shot at your partner when they are already feeling bad.
7. Don’t Keep Score. Marriage is not a contest so don’t walk around with a watchful eye making sure your partner carries there share of the load. Instead, take the view that it doesn’t matter if you end up doing more than half of what needs to be done. Trying to make your relationship fifty-fifty proposition will cause a lot of unnecessary tension and you don’t need that. So unless your spouse is a total slacker, recognize that in a happy marriage both partners try to help there mate carry the load.
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. A family court judge once commented that in 99 percent of the divorce cases he presided over, the couples were upset over very trivial things. Wouldn’t it be ironic if a marriage was strong enough to stand up to all the big challenges, but couldn’t get past the minor irritations of daily life? Here’s a secret from my own happy marriage. Learn to view your partners little idiosyncrasies as entertaining rather than irritating. It works, so don’t sweat the small stuff.
9. Greet your partner with a smile. We all want to know that our mate is happy to see us. Well, when they greet us with a smile it reassures us of that, and our smile does the same for them. A smile can do so much and requires so little effort. It has the power to lift someone’s spirits and it sets the stage for a pleasant reunion after a long and perhaps difficult day. If you want a happy marriage, lead with your smile and let that be the first impression you make when you greet your mate.
10. Respect your spouse’s privacy. Don’t go through your partner’s things out of curiosity or in an effort to check up on them. We all want our privacy to be respected and when someone violates that it feels offensive. Don’t let a sense of insecurity cause you to become overly suspicious of your your mate. On the other hand, being secretive can create suspicion. A happy marriage should be built on open and honest communication. So, if there is something you need to know, ask, don’t snoop.
Do you have a favorite happy marriage tip to share?
Does one of these really strike a cord in your relationship?
The lines are open!
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